Hear Her Roar

Joshua Calebbe

Image: Joshua Calebbe

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”

John Muir

I have been hearing Her call more than ever lately, the Great Mother I mean; She is speaking to me in a million, not so, silent ways. The signs started quietly at first, slowly appearing, but as I started to acknowledge them, they became more and more intense. She was tempting me, and when She felt my hunger, She gave me more blood (in this metaphor, knowledge). There was a huge piece of my path missing, and that was Her. I have never fully explored the Goddess path, and now that I have given myself to Her, I am being rewarded.

I am not a balanced person, and I suppose it is no surprise that my personal Philosophy seemed to be one sided, too. I believe in the Old God’s, and that has never been disputed in my mind, but I have never embraced fully, the masculine or feminine, God/Goddess, yin/yang, active/receptive, positive/negative—duality that is essential to succeed on any spiritual path, and I believe, life in general.

There has to be balance, or nothing is possible.

Imagine how hard this sense of duality is for me to understand, I have always existed in one extreme or another, which is so ironic, hypocritical almost, because I hate extremists. Yet, I exist in the extreme areas of my mind, and Soul.

I also find it ironic that the first Goddess to ever make contact with me was Hekate. This visit of the Goddess was followed by Artemis/Diana, for some reason she likes to show up as both archetypes with me, then there was Kali Ma, and Lilith. In recent weeks there have been my encounters with Baba Yaga, but she did not make herself known until I fully accepted the Divine Feminine into my everyday life, and lifestyle.

I am surrounded by masculine energy, my guides and guards, my messengers, and counsel are all male, so the fact that I have a temper like a male, or react in an aggressive nature like a male should be no shock. I like to blame the Beast within, and to some degree this is true, but I cannot blame the animalistic side of myself that resides within for how I choose to react; it is a choice to react or not.

I had completely forgotten the feminine side of the world, of Magick, of myself. Somewhere along the way I lost my sensuality, my sexuality, my feminine essence that makes me who I am. This partially has to do with my hysterectomy, it was like once my period was gone, and my ability to have children (even though I never wanted any) I felt so much less feminine.

What the Doctor’s never told me about was how much menopause changes your body, surgically induced or not. All of the Women in my family also had hysterectomies, at young ages, but I wasn’t warned about “The Change”, I think everyone was more concerned with saving my quality of life at that point.

At 27 I was faced with this change in my body, and man was it rough. Literally everything changed, from my appetite, to my emotions, my skin, my sex drive, I mean it was a huge adjustment. I wanted to start out going a more herbal route for menopause symptoms instead of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), and that was a waste of time and money. There are some times, SOME times, when the medical world, and science, just get it right, and they got it right with synthetic estrogen. I have been back on it for months now, and it is like nothing ever happened.

With this second chance at femininity I have been hearing the call of the Goddess, in all Her form’s, it feels like She is calling, inviting me home.

It started at first with calls to nature itself, it felt like a huge magnet pulling me to the Earth, and all of Her gifts. I started this venture into nature slowly, because if you know me personally, then you know I hate bugs, and I hate my bare feet on the grass, but this was ALL that I could think about. I started a garden because for some reason I suddenly had this urge to help, in any way, to save the bees. While I was gardening I found a bone, and a large clam shell in the soil; a sign from Her, gifts I am sure. I stopped drinking milk, and am slowly cutting dairy out all together because I finally found out what happens to the calves after birth, and what happens to the Cow’s during life; I want nothing to do with any of it. I had cut out red meat already, and pork is becoming less and less, along with chicken. It is hard to suddenly go from eating meat, and animal products, to nothing. Slowly, but surely I am on my way.

I started craving rich foods, and smells. I wanted earthy perfumes, and incense. I felt the urge to get tinctures, resins, specific crystals, and all natural products. I have begun to embrace my sexuality again, and have started to get in touch (literally) with that side of me. I have started wearing jewelry again, and being more adventurous with my fashion.

I feel as though my skin is shedding, my cocoon is opening, my flower is blossoming.

From this initial change to a healthy lifestyle I started watching documentaries about the current state of our Natural world, and it was mind blowing. I felt the need to see for myself what is going on, what is the physical Earth telling us? The situation is dire, and it goes far beyond the bees. There are Apex predators such as the lion, and shark that are being nearly wiped out due to hunting. The increase in big game hunting is called “Conservation” by those pulling the trigger, but they fail to realize the consequence that killing has on the eco system itself.

So, yeah, you are paying up to $250,000 to a country in Africa that desperately needs the money, and most times the meat of the kill is donated to the local people, but when killing a male lion, do these people not think of the effect it has on their pride? Do these hunters of sharks, who in most cases kill sharks primarily for their fins, not realize how the food chain works? Without Predators, the entire thing collapses? Are we ignoring all of this for our own selfish reasons?

Even down to the bees, which some people say is all hype, apparently they haven’t been paying attention either. Without the bees, human’s will be gone within a few decades, is that not a terrifying thought? Do we think we have somewhere else to go?

How about the polar bears drowning because of sea ice melting, or what about the whales that are washing up with bellies full of plastic? Or birds dying by the dozens for the same reason? How about wolf hunts, and the affect that has on their natural habitat?

We want to make everything about politics, money, Religion and debate everything, even scientific fact. Which, in case you were wondering, Global Warming is a fact. Mother Nature has been warning us for years, for decades, and we keep putting a bandaid on an open, bleeding, deep wound. How long before that bandaid no longer is enough? What happens then?

The world became male dominated centuries upon centuries ago, and with that came the death of the Goddess in main stream Religion, and Her stories became known as myths. We live in a patriarchal society but without the feminine aspect on our side, we all suffer—we all die.

I believe the Divine Feminine, the Goddess Herself, was ok with Her story being hidden, only to be seen by those worthy of hearing Her call, but I think She draws the line at the killing of Her creatures for our own gain, animal and human alike, of course. She has declared war, and at this point you are either with Her, or against Her.

The only thing I know for sure is we can’t make it without Her.

May She rise again.

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About the Author

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Jaclyn Cherie is a Word Alchemist, Witch, Shaivite Hindu, and Torchbearer with her roots planted in New York. © Jaclyn Cherie, Creatrix & Owner of The Nephilim Rising LLC (2014-2022)


The Voice within, does it seem like it’s sitting in a chair in the corner of the room faceless and staring you down? PS Love your writings.

Yes, that is very much what it feels like. I am craving to break free, of what I have yet to discover. I am so glad you like my writing. Thank You.

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