MIGHTY HEKATE: Keyholder of the World!

bill

Image: Bill Crisafi

“By Hecate, the goddess I worship more than all the others, the one I choose to help me in this work, who lives with me deep inside my home, these people won’t bring pain into my heart and laugh about it.”

Euripides

There are few deities who seem to have a strong appeal to Witches and Mystics across all paths, one of these deities is Hekate. She is the Greek Goddess of Witchcraft (among other things) and has rule over Heaven, Earth and Sea; a gift she can thank her parents Perses and Asteria for bestowing her with.

The story of Hekate among each path seems to differ slightly; some only consider her to be a Moon Goddess, or part of the Triple Goddess—Persephone and Demeter being the other two but, this is most likely a mistranslation of the myth (in my opinion). Hekate guided Demeter with her torch down into the Underworld to find Persephone; Hekate is, or could be known as a Priestess of Hades, not that she followed his rule or bowed to him, no, no; more like she had domain on his turf.

Talk about girl power.

There are so many layers to this Goddess of the Shadows and folklore surrounding her that it is no surprise she calls out to a wide variety of practitioners.

First let us try to get a basic understanding of who Hekate is.

As mentioned above she is considered by some to be part of the Triple Goddess; Persephone the Maiden, Demeter the Mother and Hekate (Hecate) the Crone.

The most common depiction of Hekate was (obviously) from the Greeks who believed her to be a Goddess of the Three Paths (Triple Roads): Guardian of Hearth and Home, Protector of the newly born, and the Goddess of Witchcraft and Magick.

Other myths go deeper and consider her to be the Goddess of Night, Ghosts, Necromancy, Key Bearer of the World, and Light bringer.

I know a lot of you who are familiar with her energy are probably confused or shocked that she is considered a light bearer when she herself dwells so deep in the shadows but, she carries her torch for a reason.

When we are amid life’s most perilous journey’s this Goddess appears, and helps to guide us through; her tests are not easy, and they are like no other deity I have ever worked with but, her blessings are infinite. She teaches us that with death comes life, and the world we live in is not black and white; it is gray as we are gray, it is neutral as nature is neutral and we are nature.

She teaches us wisdom by forcing us to find the light in the dark; by forcing us to become the light in the dark.

Hekate is known as a Triple Goddess on her own, as well; having the ability to see in all directions always. A trident being one of her symbols, it is clear to see that the number three follows her. So, it is no surprise that she is depicted in art and myth as having ownership of Cerebrus, a three headed Hell Hound.

She has connections to other Goddesses but her Triple figure appears as a three-headed Woman: Dog, Snake (sometimes a Cobra as seen below) and Horse with her famous torch, dagger and skeleton key in hand (again three).

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Image: Artemisia Synchroma

While other depictions have Hekate wearing a Snake, Horse and Boar head. Much like Artemis, animals are Sacred to Hekate.

Hekate is a Goddess for everyone and of everything; she is, in fact, an all-encompassing Goddess who knows when to appear to us as the harsh Old Hag lurking in the Shadows forcing us to make a choice, and change, or the guiding light when we are lost in the dark.

Hekate opens new doorways to us, and as a Goddess of death and the underworld she can walk us through the journey as we cast our skin, go deep into the Earth and come out reborn.

She is both Mother, and Crone, both shadow and light.

She was the first Goddess to ever come to me and the lessons I have learned from her along the way cannot be quantified. She has taught me to accept death and with this acceptance I could release my fear. She has taught me that only through darkness can light be found. And, she has taught me that there is always more than one path; no matter how stuck, lost or confused I am, there is always a choice, there is always a crossroad.

Hekate is a Goddess for both the living and dead, she is a Goddess who is unapologetic and forces us to evaluate ourselves; the Crone wisdom of going within.

She is the Goddess of Witches and without her I would not know my own power.

Hail to Hekate, Keyholder of the World!

Resources for further, deeper reading into this Goddess along with a link to the story of Hekate Enodia:

http://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/Hekate.html

http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/greek_goddess_Hecate.htm

http://hekatecovenant.com/resources/about-hekate/hekate-goddess-of-magic-sorita-deste/

http://www.hecateslantern.com/2015/04/26/hecate-enodia-before-the-gates/

http://awitchalone.com/crossroads/index.php?post/2016/09/27/Ancient-Necromantic-Practices-in-Averno

ALL PATHS LEAD TO HERE: A Lesson From a Bodhisattva

jeff-padgett

Image: Jeffrey Padgett

 

“With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you – that’s my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”

Osho

I have always battled with the idea of pre-destiny because this concept then leads to a bunch of questions that I simply cannot answer and for my Luciferian mind, I need answers.

Who is behind predestination? Is it an Omniscient power, if so, I do not subscribe to that idea; where, then, am I to be? Where is my place?

Why do I feel such deep resonation in the core of my being when I hear certain Sacred Chants, practice particular Mudras and hold trinkets in my hands that tell me stories which only further deepen my feelings of déjà vu?

There have been and continues to be moments in my life that are filled with so much synchronicity that it is hard to deny that I am exactly where I need to be.

The Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse is going to be potent tonight because it is the Harvest Moon, in the middle of Eclipse Season in the sign of Pisces, during Mercury Retrograde when the wheel is turning during a year that has proven to be full of change; both positive and negative. I guess the number 9 is really living up to its reputation.

This year (2+0+1+6 = 9) is a number of completion and with all the deaths that completion has a feeling of sorrow, and finality with it but as we approached this Moon I could feel a sense of hope beginning to blossom; a feeling that I have not felt in a very long time.

I have been feeling this change for several years now but it was chaotic in origin and I thought it had peaked last year.

As a matter of fact, it was the SUPER POWERFUL Blood Moon/Eclipse around this time last year that I had a really good session of Magick. I came out of that casting feeling prepared for the new chapter, and ready to let go of so much—of so many.

But, we weren’t ready, yet. And so this year began with a bang both literal and metaphorical and it has been bang after bang, blow after blow ever since.

This year has been full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations; actual blood, sweat and tears.

For me personally, I lost my Grandmother in April, a death that hit and continues to hit hard. I mended the relationship with most of my family, shockingly, that includes my Father.

I saw him briefly last weekend when I went away; I initially went in to babysit my niece but then my Father called and wanted to take me out to lunch. Instant panic. I listened to my gut and I went, and that was one of the realist conversations I have ever in my 32 years of life had with him.  I was able to say things that I needed to say for YEARS; I was able to be as frank, sassy and witty as I am with everyone else and he took it in stride with a smirk on his face and actually listened.

Maybe he sees the error of his ways now that the wisdom of old age seems to be setting in. Maybe the loss of his Mother made him see life for what it is. Maybe his own mortality and fragile body have awakened him; whatever the reason, healing the Father Wound has been one of the most profound things to happen to me. Especially for it to come just one week after being published, and before this Moon.

It’s times like these that I know the Universe has my back, that the Universe hears me and that I am really not alone.

There are few things in life more satisfying that being able to fully write and close a chapter and move on and/or forward. So satisfying that I cannot find anything to compare it to.

I can see the proverbial door that I am supposed to walk through; we are all going to walk through it.

This Moon is a portal– a new chapter for us. It is very important to be mindful of our words and thoughts today because what we manifest during this time will foretell our upcoming year….years.

I have been getting a lot of number sequences lately; the ones hitting hardest are 10, 111, 444, and 555.

I have also been getting hit with a lot of visions. There have been messages via various Spirit Animals as well, including Crows, Cardinals, Blue Jays, Dragonflies, Snakes and of course, the Dreamweaver: Grandmother Spider.

There have been many strange occurrences happening in my life and all I can say about those is they have been out of this world fucking weird; I don’t want to go into detail because some of this is for me to keep close to my heart.

I will tell you about the statue, though.

As many of you know, I love Eastern Traditions and mythology; I am very much influenced by the Hindu Pantheon, have been drawn specifically to the area of Tibet, and have collected Buddha and Elephant statues (very specific ones) for years.

It seems that I find Buddha when I am happy, or content—when serendipity and synchronicity dance arm in arm.

It’s no surprise then that I have not stumbled across him in many years.

The usual version I find is the chubby, laughing Buddha, though I do have young Buddha as well. My rule is that I do not want him as a gift, only if I come across him and he calls to me.

A few weeks ago while out shopping one weekend with my Mom I stopped at a local Antique shop we frequent and found some really good items. I came home with a set of old, iron candlestick holders, a set of shelves that are from early 19th century that were actually made in my hometown (I live about 2 hours away now), a very old sun wheel type of statue, and the Bronze statue pictured below. (I know, he has to be cleaned, and polished.)

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I didn’t know who the statue was, and I didn’t know it was a Buddha; I actually thought it was from the Hindu Pantheon. And so I put him on my altar with the other Hindu and Egyptian deities where he seemed to just fit right in.

The rest of the day was filled with weird moments, including a ghost at another Antique Shop we went in and running into some strong Witches at my local Witch Shop. The owner, a wonderful Crone, playfully tested me and my knowledge. It was a way for us to say “I see you”.

I didn’t figure out who this statue was until last week, and didn’t put the pieces together until this morning.

“Mañjuśrī, Manjushri is the oldest and most significant bodhisattva in Mahāyāna literature. Manjushri is a Bodhisattva who represents wisdom, and his mantra also symbolizes that quality. He holds a sword in his right hand — symbolizing his ability to cut through delusion/illusion. In his left hand, by his heart, he holds the stem of a lotus flower, which bears a book — the Perfection of Wisdom teaching, or Prajnaparamita.

“Also depicted displaying the Jnana Mudra or Gyan Mudra. This is the most common yogic mudra used in meditation. In Sanskrit, the word ‘Jnana’ means knowledge or wisdom and ‘mudra’ means sign or gesture. It literally means the psychic gesture of Knowledge or wisdom.

“Manjushri is the embodiment of all the Buddha’ wisdom. The word manju means “charming, beautiful, pleasing” and Shri means “glory, brilliance”. The Bodhisattva is regarded as the crown prince of Buddhist teachings, or the one who can best explain the Buddhist wisdom, that is able to extinguish afflictions and bring about enlightenment. Manjushri has this title because eons ago, he was the instructor for seven different Buddha’, the last being Sakyamuni Buddha.”

One of the reasons alarm bells (in a good sense) went off when I read this was because he taught 7 other Buddha’– 7 is not only my Life Path number but it has been significant in my life. Another reason that I smiled at the Universe and its message via this statue was because it says he was the “one who could best explain the teachings”.

I cannot tell you how many times people have told me that they love my writings because I say and explain what they can’t seem to do, and I say it in a way that it makes sense to everyone.

I think I am just rambling.

Other points I noticed: I have been drawn to the lotus flower since I was a child, even getting matching lotus tattoos with my Mom to symbolize our rise from the mud of our past. The Lion is one my Totem Animals. And, I am a writer which seems to by default put me in a position of also being an educator.

The point I am getting at is that I am beginning to believe we really do have an end destination and it seems to be pre-destined, and that no matter which way we go along the way, all paths will lead to it.

The signs are all around us.

Catholicism led to me seek out all religions, which is how Hinduism found me, which led me to the Left Hand Path, which then led me to Luciferianism, which has now led me to Buddhism.

And it seems that with each new path the lesson for me remains the same: stay true to yourself, teach and learn as you go, seek yourself by going within when you are lost, and be a beacon for those who have yet to find the light.

Be a beacon for those who have yet to discover that they are the light.

Enlightenment through the service of others; liberation in the acknowledgement of it all.

I am a child of the stars and the lessons in this life are just as endless…

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

Sofia Ajram

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein


I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes.  I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.

Awakening: The Shedding of Skin

David Ho

Image: David Ho

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”

Cynthia Occelli


It has been an interesting week, or two weeks I should say, I have been quiet on the blog because I have been busy in the group, and my personal life. I also haven’t been feeling fantastic, needless to say I am feeling better today. I find the timing odd because usually this close to the Full Moon I am full on lunatic, but other than some drama within the group, and the health stuff, all has been calm.

I seem to be hotter tempered than usual, reacting at any and every thing. Until yesterday everything came to the surface and I cried it out, I yelled it out, and I cursed the Universe out. Only to give my gratitude back later for all I have been gifted with.

I took the opportunity of Mercury Retrograde and this Full Moon in fiery Aries to let shit go, drop what no longer serves my higher self. This means feelings, emotions, guilt….

The shit.

I am pulling up stuff from childhood, my “Daddy issues” and wounds from my past. I am dealing with it all, and facing each emotion, each pain, one by one. It is a task much more difficult than I had originally thought, but it is necessary. I have been studying my natal chart, and trying to understand what makes me tick. I have consulted with two of my Astrologer friends who have helped immensely, and both noted the amount of retrograde planets in my chart; one saying it is a sign that I have had many past lives.

I also discovered Neptune is in my 12th house, and Mars is in Scorpio (apparently these are big deals). Also, my Pluto is in Libra, and this placement is known as the ones who will change the world.

Needless to say I have been quiet because I have been on a quest of my own, a journey deep into self, taking advantage of the madness and emotions for once in my life.

The cosmic energy this year, as I keep saying, is one for the record books. It only took me until September to learn how to use the chaos to my advantage, thanks to a few amazing new people I met. I had never thought my chaotic being could be used to help me, until I realized that the chaos is my tool.

Yesterday I was accused of bringing the knife out too soon in a fight, my friends quickly reminded me—I am the knife.

Let me focus and regroup here, because I have got way off track. I have missed writing, and am just playing catch up, while tying it all together.

A few people in the group have mentioned feeling “out of their skin” or jumpy lately, they describe it as not feeling like themselves. In their case it is not just the cosmic energy, they are experiencing a shift in consciousness.

An awakening.


“Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.”

Charles Feidelson, Jr.


People seem to have this idea that once you break free from the status quo, once you break free from the chains society has put on you, that it’s the end. I see people stop seeking, stop searching, but they are missing the point: The breakaway is just the beginning, it is just the first of many small deaths, and rebirths you will experience on your path. The serpent is not used as a metaphor for no reason, it is used as a metaphor for thousands of reasons.

When we shift our consciousness we are shedding our skin, we become sensitive to our environment, we go into hiding; the molting phase.

The symptoms of an awakening are endless but some of the more common ones are changes in appetite, depression/anxiety/panic out of nowhere, withdrawing from friends who hold you back, withdrawing from community/family, seeking like minds or your “soul tribe”, a longing for “home”, mood swings, sensitivity to light and sound, frequent headaches, vertigo, tinnitus, vivid dreaming, fatigue, chronic pain syndrome’s, swollen glands, allergies, and just an overall feeling of “something is off”.

These symptoms are from my experience and observation, I am not a medical professional and if you experience any of these symptoms to an extreme, or long term then you need to seek medical help.

The awakening wreaks havoc on the body, and the mind, but the benefits quickly reveal themselves.

The number one question after the initial, “am I crazy?” is “where do I begin?”

My answer is always the same, there is no starting point, you just have to start reading, voraciously. That is the best advice I can give, and I really mean it.

Your intuition will kick in, your instincts will guide you to be exactly where you need to be. There is not a mapped out path to get to center, we all reach it on our own, and in our own time. This is not a race, this is not a competition, we individually have to walk our own path, but along the way we are able to help each other. I think too many forget, or maybe don’t understand, the personal benefits to helping another. I guess that is another post, though.

We can elevate people, as we elevate ourselves. It costs us nothing, it does not harm us to help another; in fact I believe it helps.

I was asked what suggestions I can give to help alleviate the symptoms, and I can only speak from my experience, and my knowledge.

Besides reading, and making reading part of your daily routine (even if just for 15 minutes on your lunch break at work, read ancient text, or a book on something Occult/spiritual related, instead of fb). It will become a habit, and you will thank me later for the suggestion.

You will find yourself reading for 10 minutes in the bathroom in the morning, or at night instead of being on fb, or online shopping, or whatever it is that we do on our phones for hours a day.

Your mind will begin to put the pieces together, and you will feel everything, it’s like the world as a collective suddenly resonates deeply with you, and you cannot control your overwhelming need to withdraw, or the urge to burst open from the seams.

An awakening is a drug in its own league.

The next suggestion I have is crystals, I think people underestimate the power of “rocks” and the vibrations they carry. Everything is energy, and crystals react to energy, when we find a crystal that matches our own vibrations it is a pairing of song and dance that would make Chaplin jealous.

After this the only other things I can suggest are meditation, exercise. I personally do yoga, and believe me I am no yogi. I do what I can do, and what I can’t, I tell myself that one day I will get there. I also suggest eating as healthy as possible, it helps to keep your vibrations high. Be aware of the people you surround yourself with, some are as toxic as the poisons in our air, and food.

The final piece of advice I can give is, be true to you. No matter what happens, be true to YOU. There are going to be haters, and naysayers (it means you’re doing something right). There are going to be people doubting you, and you will lose friends, along with losing an old mentality and way of living but what you gain cannot be calculated, and that is what you need to focus on.

You need to burn in the fire of your truth.

Calling All Enlightened Ones: A Plea to Humanity

Echo Nittolitto

Image: Echo Nittolitto

“Nothing is as painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”

Mary Shelley


If I had to sum up this past week into 3 words I would describe it as being revealing, hard and weird.  On top of the week just being strange, I have felt weird, in the most broad, general way. I mean physically my thyroid seems to be off again, and I am counting the days down until my Doctors appointment next week, but this is more than that.

I feel like piece of me is missing, like piece of me is existing somewhere else right now.

I can’t really describe it in any other way than this, but I have been feeling like I am crawling in my skin, completely out of my element here, just on auto pilot. I have been pretty busy, and non-stop for the last two weeks, finally able to slow down the last few days, but I still feel off, and it feels like the more I try to figure this feeling out, the more confused I become.

I have been busy working on the book project, which I am really excited about. I think this group publishing is exactly what I need for my first major publication, also having someone edit my work gives me perspective, and helps my craft; although, she doesn’t need to edit nearly as much as I thought she would.

This last week I even ordered business cards—business freakin’ cards! They are pretty bad ass if I do say so myself. There are times when I am out, and random shit happens; I run into people, or have an opportunity come knocking and it seems easier to just hand them a card, and allow them to do what they will.

I will also use the cards once my shop is up and running as promotion inside the boxes, and such. All I keep thinking is that my cell phone number is on those cards, but what else was I supposed to do? I don’t have an agent, eh, it is what it is. I guess it’s a good thing my phone has a blocking feature.

See, how did I even get there? On that little tangent, my mind is just in a foreign place right now. I cannot focus on a complete thought without a billion other thoughts colliding with it at the same time, and sleeping has become a joke.

Each time that I fall “asleep” I immediately start Astral Projecting; my best friend (who is completely mundane) has started traveling with me. I am perplexed as a Witch, as her friend, just in general as to why she has suddenly become a partner of mine on the Astral. The panic seemed to set in when she told me that some of the places were “scary”. I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.

Why am I bringing her with me, why are we having the same dreams, and why is there such darkness?

I could continue on with an endless amount of questions, but that seems to be counter-productive at this point. I can’t handle the questions that have been shouted into the Universe as is.

I have not travelled like this since I was a child, it makes me concerned, but also excited. I am hesitant to open certain pieces of my sight back up, I already think I see too much. I am also nervous about what could possibly be coming, what am I being warned about, or told?

The messages have been everywhere, even in the clouds.

I feel like I am dropping into the Underworld for a long sleep, but it seems more significant than the change of seasons, or spinning of the wheel.

There is something coming.

At 3:33 this morning I was awakened suddenly by knocking, three times on a little table in my room. I sleep with two Himalayan crystal lamps on, so there is a dim orange hue to my bedroom; enough to see pretty clearly. The knocking startled me because it was so loud, I am used to entities coming through that corner and they know the rule is to knock, but three *loud* knocks that jolted my fucking soul made me take note, and have had me on edge ever since.

I felt a comfort in the discomfort, if that makes any sense. As my cats went scurrying I tried to get a feel, or catch a glimpse of what, or who had entered, but they moved too fast; faster than anything I have ever encountered. I can feel a rage, a fiery anger pulsating from their energy trail, and the air tastes of a sweet cigar.

On top of this there has been numerous Kali references, not only articles but pictures, dreams, just everything seems to be about Her. It seems even my Pinterest account has become hacked by the Universe, and there are signs all over there, too.

I am writing, rambling, like this because it has been too long since I said something, but also because I want to know if anyone else has been experiencing this? From my own observations on Fb, the consensus seems to be that things have been “weird”.

2015 has been pretty gnarly when it comes to cosmic energy, this month being particularly hard, but this is deeper.

We are at a breaking point, and the only way to get through this is to destroy ourselves.

We have to destroy that which no longer serve its purpose, this goes for people, relationships, and material possessions, too.

Our planet, our people, are dying: we are dying.

People have become so concerned with themselves, money, and “internet fame” that we have lost track of community, blessings, and humility. It’s like I live here with a bunch of narcissistic pricks who love the sound of their own voice so much that they can’t hear the cries of their fellow human, or animal for that matter.

All of our advances in technology, scientific and medical, and we choose to poison our people through medicine, and vaccines labeled “good for us” or “necessity”. Even our food has become more “food like” than actually nutritious.

We have shown our true colors as a species via the internet. I mean when twerking videos get more views than political debates, or revolution efforts aka the truth movement, it says so much about our society.

We are lied to and poisoned by TV, digital and social media all the time, too. Please do not think that this is only environmental in the sense that it is our food, or medication, no it’s everything.

We have been warned of the consequences of our actions on this planet, both to the Earth itself, and her inhabitants but not enough have acknowledged these warnings. It is clear that the few awakened ones, and our efforts to awaken the masses have failed, miserably. Now, it seems that we are on the brink of disaster, destruction, all in the name of mass awakening because clearly, thus far, nothing has worked.

The murders, systematic racism, inequality of the sexes, the disastrous state of our justice and political systems, all the way down to the endangerment, extinction of animals at a rapid rate, global warming, and war seem to not be enough for people to “get it”.

Maybe when the Divine has had its say and the destruction has hit home, and it’s immeasurable, people will finally wake up from their coma, but right now, right this very second, we are on a collision course with destiny, and I’m not sure if the human race is ready for what destiny has to say.

Wake up, humanity, before it gets too dark.

The Mind Killer

Christine Muraton

Image: Christine Muraton

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Frank Herbert


It’s funny how life comes in waves, it’s like one day there is calm, boredom, a moment of surrender, then suddenly you are thrown into a vortex—spinning out of control.

I knew change was coming, I have felt it down to my bones for months, but for some reason the change was taunting me, or perhaps I just wasn’t ready to accept it wholly into my life; either way it’s here now.

I have crossed the point of no return, and I am fucking terrified.

A few weeks ago I was put in contact with a Woman who ended up not being, shall we say, as professional as she should have been, if it was not for my intuition making me message my old English teacher (the one I wrote about a few months ago) I would have fell victim to a scam.

The one good thing that came out of that whole situation was it gave me the confidence and courage to keep moving forward, if I could have an hour long conference call and handle it like a boss, surely I can continue to push forward on my path following my dreams. I didn’t let my anxiety get the best of me, and I didn’t ignore my inner voice telling me that something was wrong.

I jumped in with the sharks, and I survived.

I was discouraged, and a bit hesitant though, and to say that I wasn’t would be a flat out lie; I want nothing more than to be an author. I want to see my work in print on the pages of a bound book, I want my message to reach the masses, I want to make waves, and imprint my name into the cosmos themselves.

I don’t care about money, although I would like to be able to make some kind of living from this, but just doing it, just knowing people are reading my work is payment enough. I keep saying “I want to be a writer”—reality is, I AM a writer, and I don’t need my words published in a book to validate that title.

Last week I happened to notice there was a message in my ‘other’ folder on Facebook, I have my personal account kind of on lockdown. I opened it and there was a message from a woman who had been shown my blog and she wanted me to write a piece on Luciferianism for her magazine; I jumped at the opportunity.

After sending her my completed piece, and her sending it back to me with a few small edits, and graphics attached, I was blown away. Is this real life? To see my name in print underneath and article about Luciferianism was surreal, and it still is. (I will let you know when it comes out.)

After a few messages back and forth she let me know about a project she is working on, a book that is a collection of work from several authors about Lucifer, and the Luciferian Philosophy. Then she asked if I wanted to join, if I wanted to contribute to her book.

Pump. The. Breaks.

“Me? She wants me to contribute to her book?” is all that I could hear in my head.

Like she even had to ask I thought as I typed a strong YES!

I knew in that moment that even though one door slammed in my face, another seemingly invisible one opened up; how cliché. Everything I have ever wanted is here, right here, knocking at my door, begging me to let the dreams manifest before my eyes.

But, I’m scared, I’m scared I am not good enough, I’m scared that every one of those writers is better than I, and has had more exposure than me and my blog. I am scared I will embarrass myself, or make myself vulnerable, just to be disappointed again.

It doesn’t really matter why I am scared, fear is fear and this fear could crush my dreams before they even get a chance to come to life, dreams that I have fought to keep alive.

You know what though, I have made it this far and I am just fine. I have built this blog from the ground up, as well as the fb page, and I seem to get a pretty good response to my writing.

My writing, my ranting, my madness, my individuality, my flavor, my sass, my venom, all of it seems to resonate with people. So, yeah, I may not know every grammar rule there is, and I probably destroy punctuation rules, too, but I am doing it, I am going after what feeds my Soul. How many people can say that?

I am chasing my dreams with a passion not seen before, and there is no room for fear in this world of mine. I have to let the voices of doubt motivate me, challenge me, and push me to the next level.

I earned this, I continue to earn this, and no one can take that from me.

Not even fear, because I, too, am a shark.

In-To-Me-I-See (Intimacy)

Celebrations of Sensuality by Artfold

Image: Dani Fehr (ArtofDan)

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.”

C.JoyBell C.


Last week’s full moon in Capricorn has completely shifted my life, in every way possible. I normally am effected in a negative way during this time of the month, which I call my “lunar menses”. I guess since I no longer have my period, the Universe had to give me something to fill the void. This time around though I was reflective, introverted and blocked. As I sit here and write this I am still battling to break through the blockage. Only a writer will understand what it’s like to battle with oneself, a conflict that is never ending but without it, we die.

I think we all can benefit from moments of self-reflection, only when we see ourselves clearly can we begin to see anyone else. I have always seen myself, I have always seen who I was and who I wanted to be, I never needed definition, or approval from others; I have always been self-sufficient.  In recent months I have lost my independence, my sass, my attitude, my voice, my heart, my passion..

I lost myself. I lost the very traits that make me, me.

I lose myself when I become comfortable, when I neurotically attempt to control the chaos. Nothing good has ever come from being comfortable, though; a motto I once held in life, in love, in sex, in my career, everything. That piece of me seems to have drifted off into some netherworld, and I so desperately need to get it back.

I had an epiphany of sorts on Monday, and it was in a vulnerable moment in the bathroom, after my shower that I realized I needed to find myself, and it was becoming an urgent matter. I have to take the leap off the cliff and trust in myself, and my wings, to get me to my next destination in life. I thought I had everything planned out, but it looks like I am going to be rerouting my path.

I had taken a hot shower because my Kundalini was acting up, as it has been doing for a few weeks. It was business as usual: get out of the shower, wrap my hair in one towel and the other to dry myself off and wrap around me while I do whatever else needs to be done. Sounds harmless enough, normal enough, right?

Except the towel began to fall, in my bathroom, where only I was, in a house where it was only me, and I grabbed that towel like my life depended on it.

What the fuck?

The thing is, I am not a prude, a naked body does not bother me; my naked body does not bother me, hell, I sleep naked. Something else was going on here, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

After I had done my little kung fu move to avoid facing my nakedness, I purposely dropped my towel and I stood there in the mirror and forced myself to look at my naked body, a body that has been through so, so much.

I sat there and traced my scars, and caressed my imperfections, I got a good look at the ink on my skin that I never pay enough attention to, and then I forced myself to look deep within.

The tears began to fall, and they fell with a vengeance. I was full on “ugly cry” in my bathroom within a few minutes.

How could this have happened? How did it happen? What was I going to do to change it?

The answer is I didn’t lose myself on the account of anyone else, I lost myself because I was too caught up dealing with everyone else, along with the problems of the world that I forgot to deal with me. I disobeyed my number rule, which is to always self-preserve.

It’s easy to blame other people, but I can only blame myself. If anyone was allowed to affect me, or change, define or confine me (you guys know that is my favorite saying because definitions do confine) then it’s because I let them. People can only cage me if I walk willingly through the door. Again, I have no one to blame but myself.

On the full moon I did a little bit of grounding work, and then I sat in my room naked with incense lit, candles burning, and in the depths of darkness I waited, and waited, and waited some more. After about 2 hours of waiting, I heard her, faintly, but she was there. Then the warm sensation began, it was coming from my Heart Chakra, then slowly rising up through my Crown.

I could hear my inner voice starting to come back quietly then slowly increasing intensity. I sat and meditated for hours and became acquainted with my inner self and my body once again. I allowed the two to become one on their own accord. I got up and put some music on and began dancing in my room, it was inhibited at first, I had to keep reminding myself that I need to claim “me” back, my sensuality, my sexuality, and in this moment I need to let my body move freely to the music; I need my body to flow like water. And, so it did.

It was an intense, emotionally powerful, and extremely profound moment for me. I feel one again, I feel like all my pieces have been put in place, and all the words I was holding back from my loved ones have been brought to the table. I feel so much lighter, I feel so much clearer, and now that I have her back, even though it is an ongoing process, I will never let her go again.

I am my best lover.

Hear Her Roar

Joshua Calebbe

Image: Joshua Calebbe

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.”

John Muir


I have been hearing Her call more than ever lately, the Great Mother I mean; She is speaking to me in a million, not so, silent ways. The signs started quietly at first, slowly appearing, but as I started to acknowledge them, they became more and more intense. She was tempting me, and when She felt my hunger, She gave me more blood (in this metaphor, knowledge). There was a huge piece of my path missing, and that was Her. I have never fully explored the Goddess path, and now that I have given myself to Her, I am being rewarded.

I am not a balanced person, and I suppose it is no surprise that my personal Philosophy seemed to be one sided, too. I believe in the Old God’s, and that has never been disputed in my mind, but I have never embraced fully, the masculine or feminine, God/Goddess, yin/yang, active/receptive, positive/negative—duality that is essential to succeed on any spiritual path, and I believe, life in general.

There has to be balance, or nothing is possible.

Imagine how hard this sense of duality is for me to understand, I have always existed in one extreme or another, which is so ironic, hypocritical almost, because I hate extremists. Yet, I exist in the extreme areas of my mind, and Soul.

I also find it ironic that the first Goddess to ever make contact with me was Hekate. This visit of the Goddess was followed by Artemis/Diana, for some reason she likes to show up as both archetypes with me, then there was Kali Ma, and Lilith. In recent weeks there have been my encounters with Baba Yaga, but she did not make herself known until I fully accepted the Divine Feminine into my everyday life, and lifestyle.

I am surrounded by masculine energy, my guides and guards, my messengers, and counsel are all male, so the fact that I have a temper like a male, or react in an aggressive nature like a male should be no shock. I like to blame the Beast within, and to some degree this is true, but I cannot blame the animalistic side of myself that resides within for how I choose to react; it is a choice to react or not.

I had completely forgotten the feminine side of the world, of Magick, of myself. Somewhere along the way I lost my sensuality, my sexuality, my feminine essence that makes me who I am. This partially has to do with my hysterectomy, it was like once my period was gone, and my ability to have children (even though I never wanted any) I felt so much less feminine.

What the Doctor’s never told me about was how much menopause changes your body, surgically induced or not. All of the Women in my family also had hysterectomies, at young ages, but I wasn’t warned about “The Change”, I think everyone was more concerned with saving my quality of life at that point.

At 27 I was faced with this change in my body, and man was it rough. Literally everything changed, from my appetite, to my emotions, my skin, my sex drive, I mean it was a huge adjustment. I wanted to start out going a more herbal route for menopause symptoms instead of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), and that was a waste of time and money. There are some times, SOME times, when the medical world, and science, just get it right, and they got it right with synthetic estrogen. I have been back on it for months now, and it is like nothing ever happened.

With this second chance at femininity I have been hearing the call of the Goddess, in all Her form’s, it feels like She is calling, inviting me home.

It started at first with calls to nature itself, it felt like a huge magnet pulling me to the Earth, and all of Her gifts. I started this venture into nature slowly, because if you know me personally, then you know I hate bugs, and I hate my bare feet on the grass, but this was ALL that I could think about. I started a garden because for some reason I suddenly had this urge to help, in any way, to save the bees. While I was gardening I found a bone, and a large clam shell in the soil; a sign from Her, gifts I am sure. I stopped drinking milk, and am slowly cutting dairy out all together because I finally found out what happens to the calves after birth, and what happens to the Cow’s during life; I want nothing to do with any of it. I had cut out red meat already, and pork is becoming less and less, along with chicken. It is hard to suddenly go from eating meat, and animal products, to nothing. Slowly, but surely I am on my way.

I started craving rich foods, and smells. I wanted earthy perfumes, and incense. I felt the urge to get tinctures, resins, specific crystals, and all natural products. I have begun to embrace my sexuality again, and have started to get in touch (literally) with that side of me. I have started wearing jewelry again, and being more adventurous with my fashion.

I feel as though my skin is shedding, my cocoon is opening, my flower is blossoming.

From this initial change to a healthy lifestyle I started watching documentaries about the current state of our Natural world, and it was mind blowing. I felt the need to see for myself what is going on, what is the physical Earth telling us? The situation is dire, and it goes far beyond the bees. There are Apex predators such as the lion, and shark that are being nearly wiped out due to hunting. The increase in big game hunting is called “Conservation” by those pulling the trigger, but they fail to realize the consequence that killing has on the eco system itself.

So, yeah, you are paying up to $250,000 to a country in Africa that desperately needs the money, and most times the meat of the kill is donated to the local people, but when killing a male lion, do these people not think of the effect it has on their pride? Do these hunters of sharks, who in most cases kill sharks primarily for their fins, not realize how the food chain works? Without Predators, the entire thing collapses? Are we ignoring all of this for our own selfish reasons?

Even down to the bees, which some people say is all hype, apparently they haven’t been paying attention either. Without the bees, human’s will be gone within a few decades, is that not a terrifying thought? Do we think we have somewhere else to go?

How about the polar bears drowning because of sea ice melting, or what about the whales that are washing up with bellies full of plastic? Or birds dying by the dozens for the same reason? How about wolf hunts, and the affect that has on their natural habitat?

We want to make everything about politics, money, Religion and debate everything, even scientific fact. Which, in case you were wondering, Global Warming is a fact. Mother Nature has been warning us for years, for decades, and we keep putting a bandaid on an open, bleeding, deep wound. How long before that bandaid no longer is enough? What happens then?

The world became male dominated centuries upon centuries ago, and with that came the death of the Goddess in main stream Religion, and Her stories became known as myths. We live in a patriarchal society but without the feminine aspect on our side, we all suffer—we all die.

I believe the Divine Feminine, the Goddess Herself, was ok with Her story being hidden, only to be seen by those worthy of hearing Her call, but I think She draws the line at the killing of Her creatures for our own gain, animal and human alike, of course. She has declared war, and at this point you are either with Her, or against Her.

The only thing I know for sure is we can’t make it without Her.

May She rise again.

For more information on any of the topics I mentioned:

http://blog.chron.com/sciguy/2015/02/sharks-apex-predator-of-the-gulf-are-dying-by-the-millions/#30679101=0

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/01/140129-whale-shark-endangered-cites-ocean-animals-conservation/

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/apr/15/fifty-foot-sperm-whale-washes-up-san-francisco

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/14/us/honeybees-mysterious-die-off-appears-to-worsen.html?_r=0

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/18/science/earth/18wolf.html

http://www.missionwolf.org/page/trophic-cascade/

http://www.nwf.org/wildlife/wildlife-library/mammals/polar-bear.aspx

http://www.takepart.com/article/2012/08/28/plastic-waste-killing-birds-tens-thousands

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2013/jun/03/canned-hunting-lions-bred-slaughter

Open Your Eye

Third eye

Image: Giga Kobidze

“The paradox of reality is that no image is as compelling as the one which exists only in the mind’s eye.”

Shana Alexander


I had an open forum of sorts and asked the followers on Dear Wicked what they would like to hear from me, or what they are looking for when it comes to topics we discuss. I have written plenty about myself, and I think it is time to start sharing some of the knowledge that I have stored in my brain. I would like to note that I am by no means an expert, and everything I write about will be from my personal experience and research that I have done. We are all individuals, and our experiences will be unique. I ask that no one compare themselves to anyone else because that is a path that will only lead you to disappointment or destruction. The topic of this first post is how to open, or activate your third eye. I would like to say that if you have to “force” your mind’s eye to open, then perhaps it is not the proper time to do so, you don’t want an adverse effect to happen.

The third eye, known as the pineal gland in the medical world, is “a small endocrine gland in the vertebrate brain. It produces the serotonin derivative melatonin, a hormone that affects the modulation of wake/sleep patterns and seasonal functions. Its shape resembles a tiny pine cone (hence its name), and it is located near the center of the brain, between the two hemispheres, tucked in a groove where the two rounded thalamic bodies join.” (Wikipedia) They continue to describe the pineal gland as the pineal body, epiphysis cerebri, epiphysis, conarium or the Third Eye, with the latter being the aspect most spiritually-minded people focus on. The gland itself is activated and stimulated by light, and it has been studied that just 15 minutes of daylight, or simulated daylight has a significant effect on the decalcification of the gland.  By the time the average person is 17 years of age, they have significant calcification, this is usually caused by fluoride in dental products, and municipal drinking water.

If you Google “how to decalcify your pineal gland” the results show page after page giving detox’s and herbs to help decalcify and awaken the gland. I am going to tell you guys what has helped me, and how I personally expanded my own consciousness by opening my mind’s eye.

The first most important thing to do to help reverse this process is to avoid products with fluoride in it. I think that for a lot of people this can be challenging because all public drinking water in the U.S has fluoride in it, and none of these water supplies are routinely regulated, thus there is not exact measurement only “guesstimates”. When we are children it is important for dental products that contain fluoride because it does help teeth. I have heard every conspiracy theory regarding this poison being put in our drinking water, and none of those water filtration systems remove fluoride. There are two kinds of drinking water that can speed up the process of decalcification and are fluoride free; distilled, and alkaline water. I have been able to easily find distilled water at my local grocery store, and Walmart. However, suddenly I cannot find alkaline water. I used to buy it in bulk when I would see it, but suddenly I can’t find any. But, it is out there. There is a company based in Brooklyn, NY called Wat-ahhh, and they carry a variety of “brain healthy” water. They have a website, check them out. As for the dental products, unless you have really bad dental hygiene, there is no reason for your products to have fluoride in them. When you are looking for toothpaste, and mouth wash just simply read the ingredients. If you really want to be gung ho about this, you can wash your fruits, veggies, and any other prep for food with the alkaline and/or distilled water. If you are cooking with it, not to freak anyone out but some studies show our food can actually absorb the fluoride.

Secondly, I believe our diet is the most important aspect to awakening the mind’s eye. This is my experience, and you may take from it what you wish. I have cut out red meat, I found that the vibrations were too heavy and lowered me down, even with a blessing while cooking, and before eating. I have never been a fish person, I do occasionally like Sushi. I do eat chicken, and pork but am very picky about the meat. I have a high protein diet, it is what works for me; I get protein from many other places than just meat. I think that you cannot have enough fruits, and veggies. They are perfect raw, steamed, grilled, baked, and any other way you can imagine, there are so many things you can do with fresh products, make sure to buy local. When it comes to produce, there is much debate over organic, and non-organic foods. This is the rule I have learned to go by, if you can buy from a farmer’s market, then go! I think it is great to support anything local. Also, you can talk to the grower! However, this is not something tangible for many people. If you can buy all organic then good for you, but if you can’t, then you do whatever you can do. I have learned that frozen fruits and veggies are easy for me being a city dweller. I put frozen fruit; berries and such, in the microwave for 1 minute, 30 seconds, and it makes this ooey, gooey goodness that I put over vanilla frozen yogurt. I also live by the rule that the brighter the vegetable is, the healthier it is for you. We can raise our vibrations simply by the food we eat. Stop that processed garbage, food substitute, “food like product” non-sense. Start reading labels, and controlling your portion. Drink water instead of soda, and try tea instead of coffee. You want your body to be as natural, and pure as it possibly can be. Also, can we please stay away from anything GMO?

While on this topic, let me bring up drinking. I personally do not drink alcohol, I used to but have since stopped because it just isn’t for me. I think that alcohol can be detrimental to our progress on the path, and does nothing more but destroy the body, and kill the mind. I suppose some people would say the same about the weed I smoke, I guess to each their own. You do what is best for you, but all in moderation if you want to achieve real progress.

My third suggestion is meditation, or some type of “quiet” time. I know that people have lives, and I know how hard it is to meditate. I have learned that it can be extremely beneficial. For me, meditation has always been a quiet time for me to reflect. I sometimes sit in lotus flower position, I sometimes lay down it depends on my mood. The ultimate goal is to silence the mind, get through all of the racing thoughts move past the doubts, the fears and all the chatter of the outside world. Try to get to a place where all you can hear is your heart beating, and breathing; the breath is the most important focal point for the mind, they should be in synch. I like to hold two quartz points, one inward in my left hand, and the other outward in my right. I find that even though I don’t particularly get along with quartz, this recharges me.

The next suggestion is lighting. Since the pineal gland is triggered by light it is important to stimulate the gland by getting at least 15 minutes of sun light per day. But, the trick is you are to “stare” at the sun. I am not suggesting staring directly into the sun and burning your retinae, I suggest looking in the general direction of the rays. If you are in a place where there is not a lot of sunlight, or your schedule does not allow you to get this recommended light, they do have simulation light bulbs. I have a “daylight” lamp and it does wonders for my mood when I am feeling really dark.

The final suggestion that I have would be using crystals. If you use crystals specifically for the third eye, it can be especially helpful. Your third eye is responsible for intuition, visions, premonitions, dreams, spirituality, and other so-called sixth sense abilities.  Placing crystals on your forehead (brow Chakra) while you meditate or, wearing them as jewelry, enhances your spiritual senses by opening up your third eye chakra. Some crystals I suggest are: lapis lazuli, moldavite, amethyst, apophyllite, Herkimer diamond and kyanite.

The key to waking up your third eye is to be as gentle to your body as you can be, be conscious of what you are putting on and inside your body, and take time each day for yourself. No matter how much preparation you do, nothing can prepare you for the moment that eye rips open.

That is when life begins.