“Yet, no matter how deeply I go down into myself, my God is dark, and like a webbing made of a hundred roots that drink in silence.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
I am going to say up front that I don’t believe this essay will be well received by everyone but, when are they ever?
If something I say here offends you then I urge and plead you to ask yourself, “why am I offended?”
Your reaction has everything to do with you, and nothing to do with me or my words on this screen.
As with most of my pieces, this has been bouncing around in my head for quite some time; I have had wonderful, deep conversations with friends about this ongoing trend I wish to address.
Having been a public figure (by that I mean writing/administrating pages and blogs on Social Media) for a little over 4 years now I am granted rare glimpses into people’s lives and Souls.
In this time, I have learned a lot, grown a lot, even died a few metaphorical deaths in there—it has been a thrill ride and initiation of sorts.
When I first started on Dear Wicked I used the admin handle ‘Noir’ (French word for the color black) and many people still call me that to this day; it is a spiritual name given to me and therefore very Sacred.
Being an admin (especially as NR continues to grow) affords me the pleasure of getting to know a lot of people that I otherwise wouldn’t cross paths with; in the beginning, I was met with a lot of backlash because I was “too dark” and “too harsh”—I get it, I have a strong presence and I don’t sugar coat anything, so people at first don’t like me.
Sometimes people never like me.
I am not here to be liked though; I am here to provoke thought.
I would/do talk about and/or post about topics and subject matter that made/make people uncomfortable and instead of standing in and owning their discomfort, they project their fears onto me.
The ban list on that page grew rather quickly as small insults from readers turned into them trying to sabotage my career, and use Magick against me. Ah, what fun.
It was a shit show when I first started, still is most days.
At that time, I started to use Social Media as a gauge for the current state of the world; seriously, if you are ever curious about the current energies that are in play, just pay attention to commentary and behavior on these Social platforms and you will notice the trends I do.
Our community was plagued with what we have all come to call fluff bunnies; I don’t intentionally mean this as a term of disrespect and I honestly believe all Witches have their place and purpose but the imagery I wish to convey is aptly described and formed when I use the term “fluff bunny”. So, chill, k?
I was personally bombarded by these morality police, light worker, new-age, threefold believers who wanted to fill me with love and light while beating me into submission.
I come from darkness and was forged by flames, I will submit to no one.
As for love and light, they have their purpose and place in the grand scheme of things but it is not with me, or within me.
My love, and my light come from a place of darkness. Read that line again.
In the last 2 years or so many of these same Witches have “come to the dark side” and how fucking ironic is that?
How ironic is it to see people who would outright deny their darkness now talk about embracing their Shadow and doing Shadow work?
How hypocritical that they are talking about these topics without ever having faced their Shadow?
I am just going to say this:
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
I understand that people evolve and paths change, and that is not what I am talking about here; I am talking about the people within our community who could not handle being called out on their judgmental light bullshit, so they switched sides and now want to claim the dark.
Witches, Occultists, Mystics—hell, people in general should strive for duality BUT there are some of us who lean towards one side over the other and *THAT IS OKAY*.
It’s okay to carry light and dark; it’s okay to carry just darkness; it’s okay to carry just light;
It is not okay to pretend to be something you are not because you don’t want to face the ridicule anymore; with truth comes ridicule, and the truer you are to yourself, the more authentic your life becomes, the more you will be outcast.
I am ridiculed for being too dark, not being balanced, and pretty much just for breathing most days but I stand in my truth, I burn in my truth, I stand on top of this crumbling world and shout my truth for all to hear.
No one can ever say that I have not been dedicated and true to myself, my path, or my Craft.
That is the key here: we must be true to our Craft and to ourselves otherwise everything we do is a lie and Magick is no place for liars.
If you claim the dark out of fear, or wanting to “be cool” the darkness in turn will claim you and, that is something you never want to experience.
Let people talk, let people stare, let people misunderstand you, let them draw their conclusions, and make their judgments; their words should have no effect on you.
And remember, to thy own self be true.
Reblogged this on crjen1958.
What an amazing post. I especially like that you don’t discount people that are light-sided or dual. And I agree those that are either light/dual should not condemn anyone dark because of ‘their’ fears about what that means.
I’ve read so many people have amazing/crazy insight to what they think ‘dark’ means.
I admit I don’t know much about what it means but I’d never condemn anyone or try to ‘bring them to the light’. I don’t know their journey – it’s not right to judge.
My personal place is in the middle going a bit to either side depending on the situations.
I hope a lot of folks on both sides read and think about your words. Very very very cool.
There will always be those who are forged and those who touch the flame with the tip of their wretched little finger for all the wrong reasons. May they be burned for their arrogance. Hugs my sister.
Reblogged this on ReBirth: The Pursuit of Porsha and commented:
Thumbs up! 😉
Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
I just want to say thank you ,I am truly thankful that someone can explain what is going on I am learning but the articles you write seem as if meant just for me hit me right between the eyes and are helping me understand my life and what is going on within me at this time
You. Speak. Truth. Let no one detract you from your chosen path. What that may be, you will learn.
There is always duality in everyone. I always tended to the light, especially after my teen years, but it only stands to counter the deep pit of darkness central to my being. I would advise anyone to not seek to wake the darkness in me, for it is without the mercy and empathy I normally display. I do believe that the Mother is essentially light and I choose to follow her, but I am male and carry the Father’s aspect in that. We were born to fight and defend. Violence is never far below the surface.
By the way, not particularly Wiccan. I’m more of a self made pagan, nonaligned with any organized religion. I’ve survived several deployments to the Middle East by courti g the favor of the local spirits, something the current inhabitant forgot how to do. With nearly five years deployed, I’ve never been directly shot at, or blown up. On a couple of occasions, I freaked people out by proclaiming we wouldn’t suffer on guard duty, because I prayed for cloud cover. It always came when I asked for it and after awhile several people realized I wasn’t joking. I asked the spirits not to protect me, but to spare me from having to hurt anyone (When not praying for clouds, that is).
I like your posts.
I also wonder how much of Scorpio/Pluto energy you carry within yourself (meaning would love a peek at your natal chart).
That said, I understand what you’re saying and am not happy. I can’t access my dark side and display it. A Scorpio friend I have thinks I don’t even have a bad side I could utilize (I need it at work mostly). I don’t think I’m such a nice person but it seems everyone else does and I wonder if I’m doomed to being the nice girl forever. I can’t even yell at people. 😂
Oh, haha. Send me an email via the contact me feature, and I’ll send it to you.