“Yet, no matter how deeply I go down into myself, my God is dark, and like a webbing made of a hundred roots that drink in silence.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
I am going to say up front that I don’t believe this essay will be well received by everyone but, when are they ever?
If something I say here offends you then I urge and plead you to ask yourself, “why am I offended?”
Your reaction has everything to do with you, and nothing to do with me or my words on this screen.
As with most of my pieces, this has been bouncing around in my head for quite some time; I have had wonderful, deep conversations with friends about this ongoing trend I wish to address.
Having been a public figure (by that I mean writing/administrating pages and blogs on Social Media) for a little over 4 years now I am granted rare glimpses into people’s lives and Souls.
In this time, I have learned a lot, grown a lot, even died a few metaphorical deaths in there—it has been a thrill ride and initiation of sorts.
When I first started on Dear Wicked I used the admin handle ‘Noir’ (French word for the color black) and many people still call me that to this day; it is a spiritual name given to me and therefore very Sacred.
Being an admin (especially as NR continues to grow) affords me the pleasure of getting to know a lot of people that I otherwise wouldn’t cross paths with; in the beginning, I was met with a lot of backlash because I was “too dark” and “too harsh”—I get it, I have a strong presence and I don’t sugar coat anything, so people at first don’t like me.
Sometimes people never like me.
I am not here to be liked though; I am here to provoke thought.
I would/do talk about and/or post about topics and subject matter that made/make people uncomfortable and instead of standing in and owning their discomfort, they project their fears onto me.
The ban list on that page grew rather quickly as small insults from readers turned into them trying to sabotage my career, and use Magick against me. Ah, what fun.
It was a shit show when I first started, still is most days.
At that time, I started to use Social Media as a gauge for the current state of the world; seriously, if you are ever curious about the current energies that are in play, just pay attention to commentary and behavior on these Social platforms and you will notice the trends I do.
Our community was plagued with what we have all come to call fluff bunnies; I don’t intentionally mean this as a term of disrespect and I honestly believe all Witches have their place and purpose but the imagery I wish to convey is aptly described and formed when I use the term “fluff bunny”. So, chill, k?
I was personally bombarded by these morality police, light worker, new-age, threefold believers who wanted to fill me with love and light while beating me into submission.
I come from darkness and was forged by flames, I will submit to no one.
As for love and light, they have their purpose and place in the grand scheme of things but it is not with me, or within me.
My love, and my light come from a place of darkness. Read that line again.
In the last 2 years or so many of these same Witches have “come to the dark side” and how fucking ironic is that?
How ironic is it to see people who would outright deny their darkness now talk about embracing their Shadow and doing Shadow work?
How hypocritical that they are talking about these topics without ever having faced their Shadow?
I am just going to say this:
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
DARKNESS IS NOT A TREND.
I understand that people evolve and paths change, and that is not what I am talking about here; I am talking about the people within our community who could not handle being called out on their judgmental light bullshit, so they switched sides and now want to claim the dark.
Witches, Occultists, Mystics—hell, people in general should strive for duality BUT there are some of us who lean towards one side over the other and *THAT IS OKAY*.
It’s okay to carry light and dark; it’s okay to carry just darkness; it’s okay to carry just light;
It is not okay to pretend to be something you are not because you don’t want to face the ridicule anymore; with truth comes ridicule, and the truer you are to yourself, the more authentic your life becomes, the more you will be outcast.
I am ridiculed for being too dark, not being balanced, and pretty much just for breathing most days but I stand in my truth, I burn in my truth, I stand on top of this crumbling world and shout my truth for all to hear.
No one can ever say that I have not been dedicated and true to myself, my path, or my Craft.
That is the key here: we must be true to our Craft and to ourselves otherwise everything we do is a lie and Magick is no place for liars.
If you claim the dark out of fear, or wanting to “be cool” the darkness in turn will claim you and, that is something you never want to experience.
Let people talk, let people stare, let people misunderstand you, let them draw their conclusions, and make their judgments; their words should have no effect on you.
And remember, to thy own self be true.