The Nephilim Rising™

Lux in Tenebris Lucet

Posts filed in Musings of a Modern Mystic

Lessons in Magick: Boundaries and Deities

December 10, 2022

I was recently forced to take a break from spiritual work because I caught the nasty cold that was going around. Take care of yourself before your body makes you rest. I felt as though I was lazy because I had no energy to do the spiritual work I had been doing. I think I can say that if you get anxiety from needing a break from spiritual work, it needs to be a wake-up call for sure. You need a break. You need to be gentle with yourself. And you need to be able to know when it’s time to step back. You can not pour from an empty cup.

It’s something I’ve told my friends, especially my wife, time and time again. You have to remember to fill your own cup. Sometimes, that means taking a break from spiritual work and remembering to live life. Spiritual work certainly helps with day-to-day living, but not if you’re forgetting what that means.

I’ve spent the last couple of years or so working with Hades and Santa Muerte, albeit casually. It’s only been within the last six months. I’ve really stepped it up to work more seriously with both of them. With wonderful results, mind you, but I was trapping myself without realizing it. I do a lot of work for the people I care about because I genuinely want their lives to be filled with joy, prosperity, and fulfillment. I only recently started concentrating on myself and my needs.

What I found was that I felt guilty if I ever skipped a day working with either of my deities. I felt like I was lazy, and if anything bad were to happen, it would be my fault because I wasn’t keeping the energy flowing. When a novel thought hit me while I was working with Santa Muerte. That gentle voice of, “You have poor boundaries. Work on that.”

That was a punch in the chest. It isn’t on me to save everyone. It isn’t on me to pour energy into things when I certainly don’t feel like doing it. Working with deities shouldn’t become a chore. You chose to work with them, and they understand you are human and fallible. The sky will not fall because you need to take a break and do self-care. I’m having to redefine my relationship with both of them. Hades has always been fatherly and forgiving. “About time.”

And they are both right. I have poor boundaries when it comes to this. Part of it is because I don’t find myself to be a good caretaker in other ways, so I try to make up for it through the spiritual work I do. Which is all fine and good, but if it’s costing me my peace and I’m feeling guilty for not doing more. It’s time to step back, and thankfully I’ve built a good enough relationship with both of them to be made aware of it.

But I think that is also an important thing to learn when working with deities. What your boundaries are and how to respectfully uphold them. It’s a lesson that can be applied across the board from spiritual work to dealing with *other* humans. It’s something that takes time.

Learning to apply it to all areas of your life is key for your mental and spiritual health.

The Forgotten Magic

December 7, 2022

Part 4

Hunting Shadows

Image by Louise Cox

Staring into the gaps in-between,

We find the things that cannot be seen.

Hiding in the bushes in the garden

and the hedgerows in the fields.

The Shadows

am I watching them

or are they watching me.

Darker than the blackest night

With sparkling eyes

that twinkle with the light

of stars burning bright.

There is a darkness that lurks in the shadows. I actually don’t know what it is but in my childhood, like some earlier explorer discovering a new species of creature for the first time, I was fascinated with observing the Shadow entities. Looking back at this as an adult, I have no idea what this was about, I actually have more questions than answers. Strange how as a child you don’t question what you do, instinctively you just do it, maybe that’s something as adults we should remember how to cultivate.

The natural world captivated my young mind and I would spend hours reading about and drawing my favourite animals. To me the Shadows are just another part of that, another creature to be studied, only it wasn’t in any book I knew, maybe I could be the first person to document it and become the David Attenborough of the unseen world.

As my curiosity grew I became bolder and rather than watching things in the garden through the window, I decided one day it would be fun to go on an expedition into the fields. The fields are literally across the road from my family home, you can see them from the living room window.
I roped my friend in and briefed her on the plan of action, to hunt down and observe the Shadow creatures.


We set off in full stealth mode across the field, treading softly as possible through the tall grass, towards a large over grown boundary hedge. The fields had long been abandoned and everything had gone feral. Once neat hawthorn hedges had become gnarled trees over long dried out ditches, where imaginations roamed free with trolls and fairies, but today we hunt Shadows.
I’m not sure I was prepared for what we encountered that day, in all honesty.

Image by Louise Cox

We stopped half way across the field as I could sense something moving just beyond the hedge. Don’t move or it will see us. Adrenaline kicked in as this Shadow was immense, watching Shadows in the garden through the safety of the window was one thing and they had been small no bigger than a man but this creature before was as big as an elephant and growing larger as it came towards us. It didn’t see us at first and I was telling my friend where it was and describing what it looked like. I don’t know if she saw what I could see that day (maybe I should ask her, we are still friends after 45 years) anyway she either did or she was playing along. The feelings of awe and panic got the better of us as the creature sensed we were watching seemed to grow denser and blacker and larger and started to move a bit quicker in our direction. We both bolted back across the field as fast as our legs would carry us.

Writing this down, it would be easy to dismiss it as my wild imagination but I know it was not. Then as now, although I have a vivid imagination I know the difference between what I project in my imagination and what is out in the world. At least, I think I do, we can all be fooled.

Image by Louise Cox

I wonder where I could walk to hunt Shadows close to where I live today, the fields near my parents house are still there but that’s 300 miles away from where I now live. There is a piece of common land not far from my house so I set off on a new expedition, along the rows of little terraced houses, through the grave yard, across the meadow that’s filled with blue flowers in spring. Till I reach the edge of the where the wilder places begin.

Ivy plays sentinel to the gateway of paths, tangled tree roots make steps down through the trees where Jackdaws chastise and Crows answer in low melodious caws. Out into the open space of common land, at least what is left of it.
I find myself on the edge of construction site, what happens to the Shadows when the wild spaces are gone.
Enticed by a circle of bright green ferns under the dark leafless branches of sleeping trees, a fallen tree lay, I sat and looked down over the view of our small sprawling town, how much bigger will it get.

Image by Louise Cox

There are tracks up behind where I sit, I decide to follow them.
Something caught my eye, shiny white and sparkling in the light breaking through the trees. Three little jewels attached to a dead tree stem. My instinct said that’s where to find what your looking for, my brain said its just some plastic caught or put by someone. It looked like the stem had been decorated for Christmas in the winter light. As I got closer it was three ivy leaves still wet with the morning rain glittering in the sunlight. I smiled to myself but beyond this illuminated signpost was the kind of gnarled old hedgerow I would expect to find Shadows dwelling. In the darkness between the leaves my mind saw the face of the Green Man sleeping but it was just an impression and although I waited and watched a while I neither felt nor saw any entities.

I did not find any Shadows that day, only hedges where they might dwell.


On my way back I followed a badger track clambering over and under the trees and came across a swing tied in the branches of a tall tree and sat again, deciding to head into town.
I found the route I would normally take blocked by the construction of new houses, another path lost. I had to follow the line of the high security fence back, and lost my bearings. Heading back onto another badger track and not knowing which way to go, sudden movement caught my eye, as a dear jumped along another path ahead of me. I followed and found my way back to the path I came in on.

Contemplating my little adventure I mused.


As the wild things are chased away by the ongoing urbanisation, the Forgotten Magic of our childhood is chased away by the trappings of our society. There are little pockets of wildlife left hemmed in, the badgers and foxes and dear surviving in an ever decreasing spaces. Our Magic is there part of us always, it just get hemmed in by life but we can make new pathways, opened up and rewild ourselves.

BOOK REVIEW: Spirit Work Primer

November 16, 2022

I receive a lot of messages, comments and the like asking all kinds of questions, but mostly they’re from folks seeking advice.

By far, the number one question I receive is: Where do I start on my journey to Spirit Working?

I find that people are confused about how to find a Deity.

Let’s pause and address THIS.

-You do not need a Deity

-In my humble opinion, They find and choose you

-Your journey will lead you to them (Examples: S*xual A*sault, death and pain led me to Hekate; Asanas and practicing the 6 Branches of Yoga fully committed as a Hindu led Kali to me who paved the way for Shiva through Her dance of destruction)

Carrying on..

Folks don’t know how to Evoke or Invoke and when to do which; I personally do not engage in the latter because of a pact I made with another Spirit.

We each have our own paths to walk and Practices to well, practice.

Spirit Work itself is a broad term, but it means working with Spirits.

This could be anything from a God, Goddess, to a Daemon, or an Angel.

There are many classes of Spirits and different definitions depending on Tradition, individual opinion and personal, lived experiences.

So where do you begin? How do you start?

It’s really overwhelming and not something that can be summed up in a blog or fb post.

Jason Miller recently put out an excellent book called, Consorting with Spirits: Your Guide to Working with Invisible Allies. I will be reviewing it in the future.

The thing I must say about Miller’s book (he’s one of my favorites and most influential Authors) is that he wrote it for people that already have a Magickal foundation established and honestly?

I really appreciate that.

I think it’s incredible to have books that appeal to novices and adepts alike; I like that there are books for novices only; I like that there are books for adepts only.

They can all exist, and they are all (mostly) worthy.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with writing to experienced Practitioners. I started reading it and was like, “Oh, oh, thank f*ck”.

That said, there is a book that has kind of slipped through the cracks and I believe it’s noteworthy.

I had not heard of it before, and when I did and I started reading, even though it is specifically for NEW PRACTITIONERS, I found it exceedingly interesting, and it helped refresh some things for me. Not in a redundant way, either.

I never felt like I was being spoken to like a child, and I found the entire thing educational and that, my friends, is why I am here.

The Spirit Work Primer: A Beginner’s Guide to Streamlined Spirit Work by Naag Loki Shivanath, published by Crossed Crow Books. This is a revamped, second edition from the original 2017 publication.

Image Source: Crossed Crow Books/fb

I highly recommend it if you are interested in working with Spirits but have no clue where to begin.

Covered topics are:

The Basics of Spirit Work, The Nature of Offerings, Spirit Senses, Magickal Invocation, Magickal Evocation, The Nature of Spiritual Pacts, Spirit Possession, Familiar Spirits, Spirit Keeping, Isolated Spirits, Created Spirits, Spirit Houses, Spiritual Self-Defense and Cleanup, Grimoire of the Thorn.

Publisher describes it as follows:

“Invocation, Evocation, Possession

These words conjure forth feelings of unease and confusion for many magical practitioners, even today. This book, however, is a fantastic guide intended to shed some much needed light on these often misunderstood subjects. Within these pages, spirit worker and necromancer Naag Loki Shivanath serves as guide and teacher, taking all readers through a sophisticated yet highly practical system of spirit conjuration. If you’ve been interested in learning how to sharpen your spirit senses, safely practice spirit possession, work through spirit invocation and evocation, then this tome is the book you’ve been waiting for.

Whether you are a follower of the more ritualized manifestations of the magical arts or a Witch looking to deepen your practice with the spirit world, A Spirit Work Primer will prove to be a valuable resource that is referenced time and time again.”

This is a book that is not specific to any one Tradition or path, and the Author never shames the Practitioner for the path they walk.

This is an informational guide on Spirit Work.

I will say, and this may be my only critique, the Author brings up Gender in Practice, and the way it’s worded could’ve been better. I don’t know if I agree with associating give and take (in pact work) with the masculine and feminine manifesting.

I know a lot of folks will not align with or resonate with this excerpt and I owe it to those folks, those readers to add this disclaimer.

As a Queer person myself, I will say this should not deter you from the book, but for non-binary folks who completely reject this dichotomy in practice I feel it’s fair to mention. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.

“The Principle of Gender

At last, we reach the final law, stating: “Gender is in everything; everything has its masculine and feminine principles: gender manifests on all planes.” This law speaks to more than just your anatomy, however. This law speaks to the fact that nothing is without balance, and that everything that is generated or regenerated consists of both masculine and feminine energies: light and dark, fire and water, air and earth, and so on. To see how this principle applies to pact working, consider that for every desire you create a pact for, you have to give something up. You have to balance the scales, or else Spirit will not deliver on their end. This forms the circle of give and take, the manifestation of male and female.”

I agree the scales must be balanced. I agree that in pact working for it to be successful you must sacrifice something; as mentioned above, I don’t agree that it is masculine and feminine manifesting.

All in all, this is an excellent book and should be talked about more.

Most importantly, it should be read.

The Forgotten Magic

October 17, 2022

Part 3

Touching the Field

Of all the heightened senses of childhood this probably got me in the most trouble. As it is one that even the most unintuitive can experience fairly easily.

As a small child I would play with feeling my energy field, especially while in the bath for some reason. Feeling the resistance of the air around me the tension on the surface of the water. How far can I sense things touching my field, can I push it out and feel other fields outside of the room or sense things that cannot be seen. Expanding to feel my surroundings then contracting to condense the energy. Taking my hands from pray position to opening the palms but keeping the fingers tips and thumbs together, forming a triangle.

Image by Louise Cox

If I squinted I could see the ball of energy between my hands and would play with the magnetic push pull sensation warming my palms.

I taught my little sister to play the magnetic push pull game and we would play together feeling the warmth between our palms, pushing against each others energy and I realised that I could show other children how to feel this energy to.

During the summer holidays one year, I can’t remember who, maybe it was some older girls or the mum of my neighbour, had taught us a little parlour game/trick. It’s a combination of suggestion and other stuff but also using energy manipulation. I can’t remember exactly how the rhyme went or all of the actions now. Anyone can do this if they go through the sequence but I was particularly good and found I could influence even the most sceptical.

The rhyme was a about a murderer and the participant would play the victim. Looking back it probably did seem quite dark and was about the same time the Yorkshire Ripper was at large. I grew up in Yorkshire. But children like a little of the macabre, that’s why fairytales are so appealing and to us it was just a fun game.

Returning to school after the summer holidays, the game obviously made its way onto the playground.

Here is what I can remember of our little game. The ‘victim’ stands in front of the the person conducting the game and starts by telling the story of the ‘murderer’. Who then comes up to the ‘victim’ and puts a bag over their head. You tell the person playing ‘victim’ to close their eyes and you go through the action of putting a bag over their head and tie it around their neck. You continue the story of the ‘murderer’ binding the ‘victim’ whilst performing the actions of winding your invisible rope around them. The binding is finished with a knot at the back of the ‘victim’ and you step back and stand a few feet away holding the remainder of the invisible rope. Ending the story by telling them how the ‘murderer’ dragged the ‘victim’ away to bury them in the woods, pulling on the invisible rope. The person playing the ‘victim’ falls backwards as you pull the rope.

Everyone thinks this is great fun and all want to have a go at playing both the victim and the murder.

Until the RE teacher sees what we are playing, declares it Witchcraft and me as the Witch! I’m only about 8 or 9 years old and as a child of the 70s my only references at this point for Witches are fairytales where Witches are green and ugly with pointy hats and warty noses and generally evil and to be feared. I spend the remainder of my junior school years taunted by the rest of kids as ‘Witch’. Hence I was never particularly fond of the word.

Understandably I hid my nature a little more and retreated into seclusion.

I have started to peer out from behind the door and try to regain all I have hidden for so long. I’m not ready to step out fully yet and declare my presence and I’m not even sure I know what that will be. The revival of these forgotten memories and the rekindling of the practices I did as a child has already had a remarkable impact on my life. My energy is slowly returning, the Forgotten Magic is still there. That small ball of energy I toyed with as a child has grown and my aversion of the word Witch has subsided. After all even the ‘Wizard of Oz’ has good as well bad Witches.

NOW AVAILABLE: MAGICKAL PREPAREDNESS KIT

October 3, 2022

This Collection is a Collaboration of Devil’s Conjure & The Nephilim Rising.

Adam crafted the Mojo Hands and Protection Salve.

Jaclyn crafted the Four Thieves Ritual Spray and Spell Bottles.

Road Opener Spell Bottles:

These potent powerhouses are meant not just to open roads, unlock doors and paths in your way; they’re also meant to draw abundance and form a shield around your physical and etheric bodies as well as protecting your Riches!

I chose herbs that are traditionally used in Folk Magick allowing my intentions to come to life.

Enclosed within these bottles are Lemongrass, Lavender, Rose Petals, Boneset, Galangal Root, Black Salt, Osha Root and Patchouli. As a Crystal lover I added Pyrite and Lapis Lazuli Chips along with a Skeleton Key Charm.


Spell Bottles were Ritually consecrated on Tuesday thru Saturday to invoke the powers of Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus and Saturn.

Comes with a 30 inch chain.


Four Thieves Ritual Spray:

This spray was created using traditional ingredients that are used in Four Thieves Vinegar; a concoction around since the 13th century and continued to be documented through the 17th and 19th centuries up until today. Originally it was thought to keep away the Black Death (Bubonic Plague).

Magically this mixture is used to break up negativity, Protection, banishing and heal sickness*. What I love most about this is that it’s used in both Southern Conjure and European Folk Magick.

*Disclaimer: Statements made are not backed by FDA.

I decided to use high quality, organic Essential Oils. As an Herbalist, I sparingly use EOs and understand it’s a personal preference for everyone.

Moon Water base was charged during the Harvest Moon on September 10th charged at peak illumination at 5:58am EST.

Ingredients: Certified Organic Clove, Eucalyptus, Lemon & Rosemary Essential Oils

30ml. atomizer spray bottle

On-The-Go Protection Salve:

The base is olive oil infused with Blessed Thistle, Nettle, Rue, Lemon Grass, and other materia to avert to evil eye and grant you an extra layer of protection. Simply rub a tiny bit lf the Protection Salve on your wrists or forehead lightly. The On-the-go Protection salve is also great for dry skin!

Mastery Mojo Hand:

Last not but not least, We offer the Mastery Mojo Hands, each adorned with a Devil charm. In conjure, through the creation of a mojo hand, We contain a spirit or spirits, to carry out a specific task or sweeten our fortunes. A mojo hand is essentially a contained “spell”, a battery of sorts, that can actually grow in potency over time and with use. Mojo hands are a low-maintenance style of charm that can be worked with over many years, if properly cared for. With minerals such as fool’s gold, roots such as High John, and specifically formulated herbs etc., we create very powerful, yet conceilable, mojo hands.

The Mastery Mojo Hand is a “trick of the trade” the Devil shared with me years back. A mojo hand bearing the potency of the Devil, of his own fortune and boon, of protection, and mastery on the road ahead. The Mastery Mojo Hand is a mighty, fast-working mojo hand consecrated with roots of fortune, road opening & haste including Five Finger, Alfalfa, Devil’s Shoestrings, Patchouli, Tobacco, and High John, created and designed to aid you to master yourself & life, surrounding you in formidable protection, aiding you to overcome every obstacle in your path!

Feed your mojo every wednesday with quality whiskey or rum to keep it working strong & steady for you!

Each wicked addition to the Magickal Preparedness Kit is more powerful than the last!

Purchase at:

The Nephilim Rising LLC

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1302365012/magickal-preparedness-kit-magick-on-the/

Or,

Devil’s Conjure https://devilsconjure.ecwid.com/Magickal-Preparedness-Kit-p496596770

The Forgotten Magic

September 7, 2022

Part Two

Seeing the soul of things

Art by Louise Cox

I had a somewhat paradoxical childhood. Most of the time I did not feel like a child, I knew I was older than my years but in a childs body. If you then speak to the adults most of which I am aware are younger than me, as yourself, they do not like it. So I learnt to act like a child, I don’t think I was very good at this. I decided to keep quiet instead. I quickly learnt that some things you especially keep quiet about.

My mother once asked me what I was looking at one night while sat on the sofa. I was bored with what they were watching on the TV and had become distracted by the coloured orbs dancing about the window.

“I’m watching the coloured lights by the window” I replied “look how beautiful they are”.

“There’s nothing there” she snapped looking at me like I have two heads.

“Maybe we should take you to have your eyes corrected if your seeing things” she warned me.

I wanted to protest and was horrified that my vision could be corrected so I would not be be able to see these things but a voice in my head said keep quiet, I shut up and promised myself to keep quiet in the future.

Art by Louise Cox

I would often unfocus my eyes to see what cannot be seen. I’d practice on inanimate objects. The clock on the mantelpiece was a favourite. It had a rotating pendulum with three balls underneath. The trick is to be in a trance state before you start staring. This was a lot easier as a child as my mind was a lot less cluttered as it is today. Once calm look at your chosen object but don’t focus in on it, take in the whole scene, keeping your attention on the object. Eventually your vision will shift, I feel this in my ears as well, they buzz a little or feel like the pop you get when there is a pressure change. I liked using the clock as it’s moving pendulum gave colourful tracers as they moved plus it was just a clock, it had no energy attached to it so made a good practice object. If I used the same technique on my favourite toys they would be more animated, being imbued with energy from the personality I had given them.

Some things do not like to be seen.

I was staring out of the window of my Nanna’s flat one day. I had a strange fascination with one of the windows in a large house opposite my Nanna’s. Nanna lived on the thirteenth floor of a block of flats. There was a large expanse of grass outside with a big oak tree in the middle and a few smaller trees dotted about. On the other side of this open space was a large manor house. When left alone in the livingroom I would look out of this window, I always had an intense feeling that someone was watching me from one particular window in the manor house. It was so far away you couldn’t see if there was or not, but I had a weird sense like when you feel someones magic and it’s challenging you, ‘I see you I know what you are’.

Back then everything was more feeling and emotion than words and in my mind I knew in the room that window belonged to, there was a little boy. He was trying to get my attention because he knew we were the same so I understood. He was asking for help. But I’m just a little girl on the thirteenth floor of a block of flats looking out of the window back at someone I can’t even see! Is he really there?

This always made me feel really sad. I wanted to go up to the house and ask if there was someone in that room and I could I speak to them and help, obviously this was not possible.

On one particular day as I stared intently towards the window in the manor house, the large oak tree was caught in my gaze. It’s aura started to shimmer, the whole tree shone with a magenta hue so bright, I took my eyes off the window and marvelled at the beautiful glow of the oak tree pulsating with energy. I could see its very essence, it’s soul. The second my full attention was on the tree, it sent a shock wave so strong I felt like I’d been physically pushed backwards. It hit my solar plexus breaking my trance instantly.

Art by Louise Cox

I knew the tree was not happy to be seen and I’d been put in my place. It certainly gave me a greater respect of trees and an awareness that like people some like to be left alone.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been experimenting with ‘unseeing’, I call it ‘unseeing’ because you have to tell your brain to forget it knows what everything is and cultivate a sense that you are trying to see something else. So far I managed to regain the same sense of sight looking at an ornament in my room and I also still have one of my childhood toys which again had more movement than other inanimate objects.

I was a little more apprehensive about try this on any trees. However I plucked up the courage and tried the technique on the palm tree in my garden. It seems friendly enough. This took longer to engage than the inanimate objects I had used. Eventually I managed to get focused, by this point I felt as if I was floating and my sight goes in and out, like you are looking through a camera and zooming in and out, my sight was closer then further away. Then the palm tree was not just a palm tree put a yellow and blue entity with many heads and eyes. I made it clear that I meant no harm and it seemed ok with letting me observe for a while. Then I said thank you for letting me see you and returned to normal sight, although I could still see some of the eyes for a few days every time I looked at the palm tree, this has now faded, unless I consciously look for them.

Image by Louise Cox

As a result of these experiments my hynogogic images have become a lot more vivid especially before sleeping.

As for the boy in the window. I did ask my Nanna about the house and if you could go visit. She told me it was a borstal for boys where all the naughty boys went and that you cannot visit as it’s all locked up.

Whether there was someone in that room looking out the window or not I will never know for certain but this is one memory that has stayed with me throughout my life.

Years later I learnt to use the same technique the oak tree had used on me to defend myself from unwanted attention but that’s another story.

The Forgotten Magic

July 15, 2022

Art by Louise Cox original photo Sandra Stalker

Intro

I do not practice magic, I am magic I was born this way, it’s enmeshed in the very fabric of my being. In essence we are all magic it’s only a question of whether you remember your inherent nature or get caught up in the conformity of the world at large and become conditioned to that reality. To a certain extent we all have to conform to society to survive, I have pandered to society norms. I rarely speak of my beliefs and over the years have blocked the intrusions of the Other.

This has is consequences. Firstly as a teenager and well into my thirties I was plagued with Sleep Paralysis attacks. Back when these attacks first started there was no label for my experiences and very little written. Before the invention of the Internet it was a lot harder to research anything without access to a good library. And who do you talk to when you are afraid to go to sleep in case the demons try to drag you away and devour your soul.

Secondly, after NOT learning my lesson of neglecting my magic this first time, I once again became entangled in the snare of conformity. This time it has affected me physically and I was diagnosed with CFS ten years ago. I have done all I can medically and had a refresher course via the NHS at the beginning of this year. I know deep in the recesses of my mind that if I want to truly be well again I need to reconnect with the source, field, universe whatever you want to call it.

Reaching back into my earliest memories I was living a magical life, only, I had to start hiding it, as I realised not everyone was interacting with the world as I did. Now I wish to rekindle the connection I’ve lost and reconstruct the things I did intuitively as a small child, when there where no boundaries between magic and reality. I need to remember the Forgotten Magic.

Part 1 – Black Horizons

Art Louise and Ian Cox

My earliest magical memories from childhood started young, around the ages of three to eight. Once I was put to bed at night, I would make contact with the ‘beings’ (for want of another word). Inducing a trance state to communicate with them. This was not a dream, all the time I was conversing with these other beings, I was fully aware that I was a child in a bed at night and after our meetings were over, I would settle down and go to sleep.

Drawing on these memories what were the mechanics of the trance inducement. I would sit calm and still, feel the energy which flows through all of us. This energy always concentrates in the palm of my hands. When the energy felt strong enough, I would place my hands over my eyes so that the base of my palm was covering the socket of my eyes. Eyes closed I would look into the darkness and wait. At some point there would be a shift and my ears would feel like there had been a change in pressure. In the vast darkness there is an horizon. The beings would come towards me from this horizon. Sometimes one or two, sometimes up to five of them. They appeared to me as coloured luminous energy. The conversations happened telepathically, more emotion than words. Some were more friendly than others, some in different towards me and one seemed to dislike me and the feeling was mutual.

I was very fond of one of the beings in particular, he is the one who visited the most. I painted a picture of him at Sunday School (this would be the one and only time I went to Sunday School). I wasn’t very old, pre-school days. Easels where arranged in a circle and we were painting. The lady looking after us asked me what I was painting. I felt panic, I know I can’t tell her who this is.

“It’s a Horse”, I tell her.

“That’s a funny looking Horse”, she declares, “where’s his eyes”?

“I’ve been making the colour for his eyes”, showing her my paint brush which has a lovely shade of pale blue. I’d spent a long time trying to get the right shade of luminous blue, which was highly frustrating with the low grade poster paints at my disposal.

She promptly snatched the paint brush out of my hand and blobbled a dot, where she thought the ‘Horse’ should have an eye.

“There that’s much better” she declares and walks off. I was furious, how dare she, she has no idea about how the world works and she’s supposed to be teaching me about spirituality! That was not where his eye was supposed to be! I refused to go to Sunday School ever again.

Art work by Louise Cox

When I was much older I read ‘The Tibetan book of the Dead’ and felt a connection to the descriptions of experiences you are to encounter when you die, with the visits of the beings I encountered as a small child. Was this some kind of cross over stage? I was alive but interestingly in the memories I have of conversations with these beings are mostly about the fact that I was not happy to be here. Why was I here? I didn’t want to be here, I wanted to go back home. The people I was with, my family had no understanding of what I was.

They were adamant I had to stay. Am I supposed to be here for a reason. Why now in this place with these people. I do remember in one of the last conversations, one of the beings saying I was here because I ‘meddled’. With what or whom, in my last incarnation here or in the Other place, where I longed to back to. I have no idea and if I am to learn a lesson then it would help it I had some inkling to what it was.

Then one night I was told that they would not be visiting me again, I was to have no further contact. I was devastated, lonely and abandoned in a place I felt I did not belong. I was probably about six or seven. I have tried many times over the years to get back to the Black Horizon where the beings can be contacted. Sometimes I can see it but don’t quite make that final shift. I suppose it’s like phone call but the line at the other end is dead or is blocking my calls.

I experimented again over the last month or so at one point I saw something like a door open on the Horizon but it was abruptly closed. I guess I have to wait until I cross over to the Other side again.

 

Musings of a Modern Mystic: Quiet Observations

February 15, 2022

I’ve never considered myself a torchbearer or of anyone with great importance.

I’m more like a wallflower, hiding behind the vines so I’m not seen. I’ve spent a lifetime living in the shadows, diagnosed young with ADHD, diagnosed in my early 30s as being on the autistic spectrum. And all together struggling to be understood and to communicate in a way that makes sense to the outside world. My thoughts are often jumbled and my words are a storm of confusion to the uninitiated.

I’ve always seen the world differently, heard the wind through the trees differently, the harsh notes of the world always ring strangely to me. But I suppose that is neither here nor there. There is nothing particularly special about me. I’ve never been good with divination. Because of my trauma, my intuition really doesn’t work all that well, but to be a witch, you’ve got to be good at those two things. I’m not and I don’t feel like I need to be in order to follow the path set before me.

I think my gift is seeing what no one else wants to speak about and I’ve spent a long time being afraid of speaking that. What I see is communities in trouble, what I see is safe spaces being turned into boxes to be checked. If you don’t feel or think the same way about blank, then you do not belong. Art that is supposed to be subjective is no longer subjective.

You’ve got to think and feel the same way about it. And before you say that isn’t true… I’m here to tell you it is because it’s happened to me. I was told I was wrong for not feeling the same way about a movie. What’s the big deal you may ask? The big deal is we can’t discuss things anymore without being told we’re toxic and wrong for having different thoughts about things. I’m not even talking about the big things like transphobia, sexism, racism, bigotry… we can’t even feel differently about small things without someone being offended.

The very people who told us we could be individuals are the same people gatekeeping what is allowed and what isn’t. I’m part of many different communities and this problem is in all of them. No one is talking about how unbelievably toxic these spaces are becoming. You are free to be who you wish as long as you fit into certain boxes and you check off certain tallies. No one is talking about how dystopian we are becoming as a society. How can no one be alarmed about this? How can no one see the storm coming beyond the horizon? If we can’t even discuss the little things, how can we discuss the big things?

I’ve seen all sides dehumanize one another, insult each other like children, and overall just be completely hateful and none of it changes anything. You cannot educate through hate. I don’t think a single person gives much thought to someone’s point if it’s filled with any of those things. So if it doesn’t work on you… why would it work on them?

If everyone is unwilling to budge, then how does anything change? All sides trying to silence each other by being louder don’t seem to be working and I feel like we’re running out of time. I don’t know the answers, but I know if we don’t figure out what the answers are together.

We will all fall together.

Babalon Temple Meditation Vision

February 13, 2022

vision submerged

I entered the temple quietly and slowly. Each step with purpose. Slow as to feel each step with my feet,  cold stone and dirt ground,  and watch the quality of light change as I entered. I hear the water in the pool and give offerings.

A large statue of her stands erect in the middle arms up and open. I sit and empty myself as usual. I ask why I have been feeling so off. I’ve never felt shame in her presence but I have felt inadequate in some way.

She spoke to me and showed me that it’s not a deity I’ve ever felt shame in or inadequacy. It’s amongst other humans Don’t you recognize how at ease you are in meditation and spellwork? That this work and other work I’m doing although it seems separate will come together and make sense in the end…

She was a vision as always, tonight her body was marble white immersed in black liquid.

‘My joy is in your joy’… So simple, it seems. But what for the girl who has forgotten how? Who’s joy gets trampled by the eyes sick souls of others that cannot see the inherent beauty or is made meaningless by feelings of her own inadequacy.

What for the girl who haunts her own space?

Yet you call and beckon and writhe so she will remember. My joy is in your joy, my joy is in your joy, my joy is in your joy…

 

Nova

Musings of a Modern Mystic: Witchcraft is Political

February 11, 2022

 

It has been one year, two months and 20 days since I have sat down to write a blog.

I have not stopped writing; I write posts on my personal page, and the NR fb page. I have also worked on some writing projects.

The blog felt like it needed to rest.

Like it needed to be in chrysalis as badly as I did.

Emerging is scary, emerging in a new form, scarier still.

But here I am with my first blog in an awfully long time to talk about a topic that is much overdue.

A topic I have discussed many times in comments, or a few sentences here and there on the page.

As I move and shift this space to a Collective of writers, instead of just myself, I am inspired more than ever to push the limits. I am inspired to talk about what nobody wants to talk about, or topics that will surely get me trolled.

Bring it on, I say.

I am not here to make you comfortable, and I am done trying to have comfortable conversations.

Comfort gets us nowhere; it will only bring stagnation.

So, what is it exactly that I have to say that is going to get everyone in a tizzy?

I don’t often make generalized or absolute statements, there are simply too many variables and moving parts to any equation in this vast universe that I am careful what I say and how I say it.

This, however, needs to be spoken as an absolute.

Here it goes:

Witchcraft is political.

Witchcraft. Is. Political.

WITCHCRAFT IS POLITICAL.

I can hear it now, the cries and whimpers like, and I am using direct past quotes that have been said to me:

“Don’t bring politics into my Craft!”

“I don’t read your work to read about politics and social issues. Please don’t become *that*.”

“Witchcraft is not political, humans are. We don’t need politics here.”

Privilege.

P R I V I L E G E.

It’s privilege to be a Witch and say that you are not political, to ignore injustices because they “don’t affect you”.

Witchcraft is now and will always be political.

When I use the word political, I am not talking about democracy, per se. Nor am I talking about the United States’ 2 party system that has f*cked us all. This is not Democrat and Republican.

I am talking about what being a Witch, calling oneself a Witch means.

It is truly Revolutionary to call yourself a Witch.

We stand for the marginalized, the outcasts, the downtrodden, the misfits, and the weirdos.

AND WE ALWAYS HAVE!

Activism, Social Issues, Human & Civil Rights, Allyship, Anti-racism, Anti-ableism (and more!) are all pre-requisites to being a Witch.

“You are gatekeeping! How dare you tell me how to be a Witch!”

Is asking you, or telling you, rather, to be a decent human being gatekeeping?

Is it REALLY?!

 

I want you to think about that long and hard if your immediate reaction was/is that I am gatekeeping.

Ask yourself why you feel the way you do?

Is requesting human decency gatekeeping?

If you answer yes, then your issue is far deeper and greater than I can address here.

So, as they say, “not my circus, not my monkeys”.

Witches may have been hidden in history—even hid ourselves and moved in silence, but we got sh*t done.

We weren’t afraid to get our hands dirty.

Some of us still aren’t.

It was the Wise Woman, Man and Person who lived on the edge of the forest communing with nature and plant Spirits, carrying deep rooted herbal and plant knowledge that were Healers in days past.

It was the Healer who was shunned for knowing too much about plants that would help a Woman/Femme deal with unwanted pregnancy in a safer manner than some of her/their other options. Or help heal a Soldier’s war wounds, or gout.

It was the unsuspecting Granny who went to Church every Sunday, who knew Psalms like the back of her hand and whipped up the most glorious Kitchen Magick you ever had seen. Her prayers worked like she had a direct line to God.

To deny the power and role of the Witch is to douse our history in toxic positivity.

Many of us found our way to the Craft because we were met with injustice and/or adversity of some kind, and we needed to take our power back.

To be a Witch is to be Sovereign, without a doubt.

Then I think about this Tweet (one that I have shared on the page before) and I am left wondering:

Are we meant to be Sovereign AND in Service (to Magick)  at the same time?

Why else would we have or collect all this knowledge, and even though I hate the word power?

Why not use it for the greater good?

It is time we decolonized the Craft.

There are too many people who call themselves Witch and turn the other cheek when they see oppression and continue to benefit from systems put in place long ago instead of smashing said system.

We first need equality, then we need equity and finally we will find liberation.

We have a silent oath to uphold when walking this path.

We have an obligation to fight deep in the trenches so that the systems harming us can be destroyed.

If you are not willing to pushback against the status quo, what are you even doing here?

Are you even a Witch, or are you a WINO (Witch In Name Only)?

Witchcraft requires action, to be a Witch requires action; just like the Magick we cast.

Your intentions may be well and good, but unless you act on them, they mean nothing.

Silence is compliance.

Nobody said this would be easy, but it is worth it.

The freedom, strength and courage I have found through Witchcraft and living my life as a Witch cannot be put into words for, they do it no justice.

Blessed Are the Witches, the Oathkeepers, the Torchbearers and the Balancers of Scales.

Lux in Tenebris Lucet