Image: Jessica Lutz

“Chaos is what we’ve lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.”

Terence McKenna

I’m not going to make any friends with post, for that I am sure; I guess it is a good thing I don’t write to make friends, I write to make people think. I sometimes feel that I think so much, about every single thing possible, so that others don’t have to. It’s like, if I analyze it, rip it apart, drive myself mad and tell of my findings, it may save another the pain. It takes a certain person to be able to exist in Chaos and I thrive in Chaos because it flows in my veins, while most dissipate into it.

I am going to write about some things that have been on my mind for a very long time, and I have written about them in the past but I didn’t do the topics any justice, or myself for that matter. I know that writing about the Occult I open myself up to criticism, and others opinions. I will usually debate, and I will always hear another’s opinion on the matter, we are all experiencing this world differently, and to deny listening to another is like denying them to tell their story.

I will never deny anyone the right to speak their truth.

I am going to speak some truth that many of you will probably not like, or deny all together, maybe you have never thought about it to begin with, or maybe you will know exactly what I mean. It is my hope, my intention that this piece will open your mind, and allow you to look deep within yourself. Allow yourself to get back to the roots of Magick because our community has gone far off track.

Because I do not want to come off as if I have a superiority complex, or that I am trying to tell anyone how to be, or whatever, I am going to tell you my story on the subject of ego and other Pagans/Witches/Otherkin. I am not at all innocent in allowing ego to take over, and I have experienced obnoxious amounts from other people. So, I have seen, literally felt, both sides.

This morning there was a situation that left me disappointed in a fellow Sister Witch, and I became so angry that I could not allow my Beast to stay inside, so here she sits with me to write this piece. I will not go into details about the situation but it had to do with ego, and a paranoid fear. While I understand why my Sister felt this way, her reaction and her Sister Witch’s reaction was uncalled for, and not how we should conduct ourselves.

I get it, if anyone gets ego, or fear, it’s me. If you have followed my writing since the beginning you have seen me call people out, and strut my stuff, as if I was the baddest in town. The Universe, however, did not find my display entertaining and made sure that I did not do it again. I have been that Witch who has made fun of Wiccans for being “light and fluffy” or “fluff bunnies”. I have been the one who dismisses others opinions because I thought I knew best. There is nothing that I have not experienced in regards to ego, and allowing it to take root in my mind.

I shut it out now, though. There is no room for ego on my path, it is simply not part of my journey.

There is pride, and that is something else entirely. Maybe another time, another post.

Let me get to the point..

Here are the issues we are facing as a community, and I am going to bring them to the surface because I am sick and tired of running into them at every corner. First, let me say that making fun of Wiccans, or any other belief, is unacceptable behavior, we should handle ourselves better, and it is the very intolerance that we experience from society. We cannot allow an eye for an eye mentality become the norm, we are better than that.

Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

We should not power ourselves with insults, we must power ourselves with knowledge, and know our craft. So, if there is a point to defend ourselves our Magick and defenses are top notch. The truth is, when we insult, make fun of, or belittle another, no matter how funny or how true the statement may be, it says more about us and our weak insecurities than it does about them.

Second, fear of Magickal attacks from fellow Witches seems to be a common theme. I want to bring some of you back to a level mind on this topic. A true Magickal attack is not easy to do, it takes skill, determination and true, pure intentions. This is not something that is a common occurrence, but it seems to be a common fear. Yes, we are at risk from spirit we work with, but to walk around defensive of every Witch and/or Otherkin we come across is not productive, and if we continue like this we will never learn anything, and we will always be alone.

To those who do use their Magick for attacks, big or small, that is not what Witchcraft is. I practice dark arts, and there is just as much healing, and support for other Witches as there is hexing, cursing, and the like. Magick should be something personal for you, not a skill you learn to harm other people. Get it?

We, Pagans, Satanists, Luciferians, Witches, Wiccans, Occultists, Otherkin, Heathens, Heretics, and any other label or non-label you can think of, are already ostracized by society. We already walk a lonely path, and while it may be hard to find someone who thinks exactly like we do, we can find likeminded individuals who help us grow. We can find others who know what it’s like to be made fun of, or ridiculed for having a non-conventional Philosophy. We can build a support system so that in times of stress, pain, and suffering we have counsel, we have protection, we have love and we have support.

But, we don’t do that, we don’t trust other people. Everyone thinks everyone else is fake, “fluffy”, or is out to get someone else, and blah blah blah.

None of this has to do with Magick, all of this gossip has to do with HUMAN insecurity coming through and using Magick as the guise. Only those insecure in themselves, their Magick, their shields, their defense, and their energy reading ability would walk around constantly scared of Magickal attack.

I know because I used to be like this, but now I am not. I took a long, deep look in the mirror, I faced my demons, I worked on my craft, I studied, I practiced, and I shed bled, and tears. This is the only way to freedom, you must shed your old self.

Let’s all take a collective deep breath.

Spiritual attacks are real, and I am in no way down playing them, but not every Witch you meet is out to get you, or strong enough to do so anyways. Come on guys, like I said, we can do better. We have to do better, it is our Magick that is going to save this place, but none of us can do it alone.

The next topic I want to discuss is ego. I have fell victim to this, and I was left embarrassed and disgusted by my behavior. I am here to help people, and nothing more. I want to write about my experiences in order for everyone to be as free as I am. When ego came into my life it wasn’t about the grand scheme of things anymore, it was about me, and there is no me. I am everything and nothing, I am the Alpha and Omega, I am the darkness and light. I am part of the cosmos, and to put myself before my soul’s purpose is something I cannot do.

Ego feels good, it is a momentary satisfaction but that is all that it is, a moment in time. It does nothing but make the other person feel like shit just to build yourself up. As someone who has played both roles, I can say that this is no way to be.

The thing I want to really say is, we have to start accepting others for who they are. We cannot accept them with conditions, or if they fit into a mold, we must be willing to accept all those who wish to walk this path. I can say that nothing has been more rewarding than my spiritual journey, and if I can help others find the strength to start forging their own then my job here is done.

We are all different, no two of us are alike, and that in and of itself is a fucking beautiful thing. If we do not begin to do better we will not be better, and if we can’t be better than what are we doing on this stupid rock to begin with?