Musings of a Modern Mystic: Quiet Observations

February 15, 2022

I’ve never considered myself a torchbearer or of anyone with great importance.

I’m more like a wallflower, hiding behind the vines so I’m not seen. I’ve spent a lifetime living in the shadows, diagnosed young with ADHD, diagnosed in my early 30s as being on the autistic spectrum. And all together struggling to be understood and to communicate in a way that makes sense to the outside world. My thoughts are often jumbled and my words are a storm of confusion to the uninitiated.

I’ve always seen the world differently, heard the wind through the trees differently, the harsh notes of the world always ring strangely to me. But I suppose that is neither here nor there. There is nothing particularly special about me. I’ve never been good with divination. Because of my trauma, my intuition really doesn’t work all that well, but to be a witch, you’ve got to be good at those two things. I’m not and I don’t feel like I need to be in order to follow the path set before me.

I think my gift is seeing what no one else wants to speak about and I’ve spent a long time being afraid of speaking that. What I see is communities in trouble, what I see is safe spaces being turned into boxes to be checked. If you don’t feel or think the same way about blank, then you do not belong. Art that is supposed to be subjective is no longer subjective.

You’ve got to think and feel the same way about it. And before you say that isn’t true… I’m here to tell you it is because it’s happened to me. I was told I was wrong for not feeling the same way about a movie. What’s the big deal you may ask? The big deal is we can’t discuss things anymore without being told we’re toxic and wrong for having different thoughts about things. I’m not even talking about the big things like transphobia, sexism, racism, bigotry… we can’t even feel differently about small things without someone being offended.

The very people who told us we could be individuals are the same people gatekeeping what is allowed and what isn’t. I’m part of many different communities and this problem is in all of them. No one is talking about how unbelievably toxic these spaces are becoming. You are free to be who you wish as long as you fit into certain boxes and you check off certain tallies. No one is talking about how dystopian we are becoming as a society. How can no one be alarmed about this? How can no one see the storm coming beyond the horizon? If we can’t even discuss the little things, how can we discuss the big things?

I’ve seen all sides dehumanize one another, insult each other like children, and overall just be completely hateful and none of it changes anything. You cannot educate through hate. I don’t think a single person gives much thought to someone’s point if it’s filled with any of those things. So if it doesn’t work on you… why would it work on them?

If everyone is unwilling to budge, then how does anything change? All sides trying to silence each other by being louder don’t seem to be working and I feel like we’re running out of time. I don’t know the answers, but I know if we don’t figure out what the answers are together.

We will all fall together.

LESSONS IN MAGICK: INITIATIONS & WITCH BLOOD

September 10, 2019

“We take spiritual initiation when we become conscious of the Divine within us, and thereby contact the Divine without us.”

Dion Fortune

This topic has been on my mind for a super long time, but I was taking a hiatus from writing and I wasn’t sure how to appropriately discuss this.

Here goes nothing.

I do not want to come off pretentious, elitist, or as a gatekeeper; I want to smash those ideologies, in fact.

I DO want to speak some personal truths and share observations in hopes that we as a community can grow, discussions can start, and we can change some of our negative patterns (both action and thought).

So, I might say things in here that are going to offend you, or annoy you, and make you roll your eyes, depending on your journey and path—I implore you to please read my points, and this piece in its entirety before forming an opinion.

There’s this large group within the greater Witch community who wants to see the Craft become accepted, mainstream (as far as not being considered completely taboo and Satanic) and open.

Then there is another group who wants the Craft to stay underground, to remain Occult (hidden) and let the muggles think what they want about us.

There is a final group forming of people who fall somewhere in between.

I have always been the latter.

The fear a lot of folks have with the Craft becoming mainstream is that it will lose its Mysticism, it will lose its Saredness, it will lose all that it means to be a Witch; to walk among the unseen and exist in Liminal Spaces.

What these folks fail to realize is that no matter how mainstream we become, there WILL ALWAYS be secrets to the Craft, there will always be things that can only be understood if they are truly experienced.

The Witch must experience their Craft subjectively and, on their terms, in their time.

The Craft is a consciousness of its own, dare I say Spirit—far beyond an Egregore at this point.

The Craft will weed out those who are not worthy of all it has to teach, if they prove their Will is not true.

That is not for any person to judge; that is for the Craft, the Spirits, and the Ancestors to judge.

We are not gatekeepers, and I appreciate some of the sentiment behind this; the Craft is Sacred to me, too.

But it is not our job to be Keepers of this Gate.

The Craft keeps and tends to its own Gate.

We each hold keys that we earned to access the Spirit World; my experience will be vastly different from yours, as will all the newer Witches coming up. We must make space for them, and allow them to earn their keys, too.

With all of this said, I want to discuss two specific aspects of gatekeeping that have become huge pet peeves of mine.

Myth: You must be initiated to be a Witch.

Fact: No, the fuck you do not.

The other day I was reading a thread of comments and it was kinda heated, and as I read one person was being ganged up on, so of course I clicked to read more and see what all the fuss was about.

The topic doesn’t matter, but what really bothered me was that people (more than 10) were hounding this person:

“Are you initiated? What titles do you hold? What Coven do you belong to? None? That’s what I thought.”

“You are not a real Witch if you have not been initiated, therefore your opinion doesn’t matter.”

And so on, and so on.

I was dumbfounded.

When did this become who we are?

I am not initiated by any group or person: THE GODS INITIATED ME.

Covens, Temples, Sects and Organizations have their place and for so many people they are a cornerstone of their practice.

But, for a lot of Witches, Solitary Practice is the only way, and, of course, there are a plethora of reasons as to why this might be.

Maybe they can’t practice in the open; maybe they live in a highly religious area; maybe they don’t play well with others; maybe they just prefer to Practice alone.

I think we should all read the works of those who came before us, listen when our Elders speak (that DOES NOT MEAN blindly follow, it just means listen as a form of respect) and accept Mentors if they cross our path or the opportunity presents itself and feels right.

However, I do not think initiation is the end goal, or at least, it doesn’t have to be.

Personally, your titles don’t mean shit to me or my Gods; we only care if your heart and your Will are true, and that you are living your authentic truth.

I am proud of every single friend of mine who has been initiated and holds titles, and props to building some amazing communities but please for the love of all that is holy and unholy, stop telling people that they must be initiated to be a Witch.

It simply isn’t true.

Myth: Witch Blood makes you more powerful.

Fact: No. Just no.

When titles and initiations don’t make someone feel special enough, they must pull the Witch Blood card, and it makes me fucking cringe.

C R I N G E

If you don’t know what Witch Blood is, it means just what you think: a Hereditary Witch, or someone who was born and raised in the Craft or a specific Tradition.

I come from a line of Witches, Eastern Stars & Masons, and was raised by a Pagan Mother and Aunts in the Granny Tradition. My other Grandparents taught me Slavic Traditions.

None of that makes me any better than anyone else.

None of it.

We all have access to the same Power Source.

Read that again, let it burn, let it sink in, let it burn some more and accept it.

Your titles, secret books, pacts and oral traditions do not divide off a part of the Universal Source of Magick.

WE ALL HAVE ACCESS BECAUSE WE ARE ALL THE SOURCE.

After all, we are what we come from.

I certainly believe that some folks are predisposed to excel in certain areas of the Craft, and there are *soooo* many factors that play a role in that.

I equally believe that we are all Magickal beings trying to remember who we are in a world that is forcing us into cages and prisons of definitions and divisions.

The Witch and Pagan communities are supposed to be the one place where the weirdos, the outcasts, the shunned, the misfits are welcome and are free to be whomever they want to be.

Let’s not take that from them because the Egos of a few have poisoned minds.

Be the cure.

Be the balm that combats the poison.

Be the voice that raises other voices.

Blessed Are The Witches.

Lessons in Magick: How to Dance with Your Shadow

May 31, 2016

Image: Howard Schatz

“I embrace my shadow self. Shadows give depth and dimension to my life. I believe in embracing my duality, in learning to let darkness and light, peacefully co-exist, as illumination.”

Jaeda DeWalt

This post is going to be a follow-up, and in this piece, I will give tips on how to incorporate or integrate your Shadow Self into your whole. As usual when I write pieces like this, I want to make it clear that I am not an expert, I am simply giving tips that have helped me personally on my path. If you try something and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are doing it wrong, it means that you may need to try a different method or approach.

We are all different; we learn, see, and perceive everything differently. So it should come as no surprise that personal evolution and growth on our Magickal path will be experienced differently, too.

If something I say here resonates with you, awesome, take it and allow it to help you on your path; leave the rest. You are, after all, establishing your personal Philosophy. I fully believe in breaking barriers, not sticking to labels or fitting into boxes; I think we should take pieces from many different paths and Pantheons and quite literally, form our own. Of course LHP practitioners have things in common, but when it comes down to ritual, ceremony, worship, or the choice of non-worship, we are very, very different. That’s how it should be, this one-way mentality that has been the driving force behind the brainwashing of religion seems to be seeping its way into our community and it isn’t only ironic, it’s painful to watch.

I stated in one of my recent blogs that I was happy to see such a variety and abundance of articles on the Shadow Self lately and I am happy to see those articles, but a lot of them want to romanticize the Shadow and others want to completely over dramatize and it’s like, can we find a middle ground here?

The term Shadow, or Shadow Self is very popular among Esoteric and Occult circles. I believe that a lot of us relate to the Shadow for two reasons: we either see that duality is essential or we are of the Shadows and that’s our natural state.

I believe that I am the latter, and as much as I try and strive for overall duality, it doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards for me. I seem to be all about polarity; simply one or the other, but never both at the same time. As hard as it is to integrate the Shadow into the whole, I think it may be harder to live as a Shadow. It feels like sometimes I have no identity other than this darkness that at times consumes me.

I have stated in previous posts that Carl Jung first came up with the term and Jungian Psychology is based off of his Archetypes—Shadow and Persona, Anima and Animus being the top 4 that all the others seem to branch off of. This is how I look at it any ways; it seems to help keep them all straight in my mind.

So how DO you integrate the Shadow into the whole? Well, first let me say that too much Shadow (either ignoring it or ignoring the light) can harm you spiritually, mentally and physically. Not enough Shadow will cause you to be unbalanced, vibrate too high, and you can become a doormat or dumping ground for others; sometimes we aren’t even aware it’s happening.

A big issue I see a lot of people having is that they (myself included) put Empathy and their (our) Empathic abilities above all else and it seems to rule how we live. I find myself constantly at odds internally with the Luciferian and the Healer; both screaming for different desires.

This brings me to my first tip: Establishing Boundaries. This is something that I am currently struggling with, and that is why it’s at the top of my list. Our Shadow is where our strength comes from, it’s where our ability to say “NO!” and mean it comes from; it’s where all of our fierceness, and wild resides. Jung believed our Persona was who we strive to be, and that our Shadow is our “Dark side” but I have come to see it as, our Persona is who we want the world to see us as, and our Shadow is our true Self. In my case, at least.

Having Empathy means that we literally feel what others do, so saying no can be really hard for us because not only are we feeling that they need us, but we are feeling their anger and/or sadness when we say no.

We are healers and people naturally vibrate towards those that can help them, but we can’t help everyone.

Let me repeat that, we can’t help everyone.

I mean not only in the literal sense of we can’t help everyone, some people are passed the point of help but we literally can’t help everyone. If we continuously give and give and give, we will have nothing left for ourselves. How is the Healer supposed to Heal themselves if there is nothing left?

I am a wounded Healer, but I am not willing to take on any more wounds on the account of another. I have to do what is best for me, what is best for my current state of mind, and my current desires. I owe nobody anything and neither do you.

Lay your boundaries and stick to them.

Second tip: Accept your Shadow. This doesn’t mean you have to understand it or Master it, it means that you accept you have a dark side and are willing to work with it. The faster you run, the tighter its grip becomes—stop running!

We have to accept that Life and Magick are not all light and love, butterflies and rainbows and that is okay. When we understand this we then have to get down to the nitty gritty of our Soul and dive into the Abyss and be okay with what we find.

We have to accept that some days we are going to be angry for no apparent reason, we have to accept that we are going to want revenge on those who cross us, we are going to hate, loathe and dislike people with all of our being; we have to accept all of this and more and still be able to look ourselves in the mirror.

Accepting these aspects of ourselves does not mean we become malicious people, it means that we are acknowledging this side of ourselves. Our actions dictate the type of person we are, not our thoughts.

Acceptance and Self-Awareness go hand in hand, and both are essential to integrating the Shadow Self.

When we accept we have a Shadow that is the first step on the path to knowing who we really are.

Third tip: Create. Usually when we dive into our creative side we are able to see what our inner most thoughts, fears and desires are. This path of creativity can lead us into the Darker aspects because many Artists have heavy Shadows; creativity often comes with a heavy price: madness, chaos, solitude, introspection, introversion. All of which is part of my everyday life; blessed or cursed depends on perspective.

The creative medium does not matter, it can be woodwork, writing, painting, photography, graphic design, music composure, anything that allows the creative juices to flow and the mind wander will surely help the Shadow Self integrate into your overall being.

Fourth tip: Accept your Ego. This is a new lesson for me, and one that I was mind blown to have learned. For a long time, I believed that Ego itself was a poison and that there was no room for it on our path but I have now come to believe that if fed our Ego can become a great ally. The trick, of course, is don’t overfeed the Ego but Master it.

Just like our Shadow Self our Ego has great power, and is essential to our path and our growth. We cannot allow the Ego or the Shadow rule us or we venture into hostile and volatile territory where cockiness trumps confidence, and darkness becomes malice.

To acknowledge our Ego means that we are acknowledging our badassery, we are acknowledging our personal Power, we are acknowledging our Strength, but we are not considering ourselves to be Superior. This is the trick; this is always the trick.

We are Superior to no one, and nothing, but equal to all.

I hope my little words of wisdom help you hear the music and allow you to dance with your Shadow.

Lessons in Magick: Witchcraft Saved My Life

October 17, 2015

Image: Daniel Waschnig

“The first time I called myself a ‘Witch’ was the most magical moment of my life.”

Margot Adler

This blog has been brewing inside the cauldron of my mind for a while now; finally I am ready to put it all together and tell my story.

I found the inspiration for this piece during a session of insomnia and aimlessly flipping through early morning TV– full of infomercials and Christian’s proclaiming how this or that church/program and God saved their life.

I am anti-religion but I know that it’s a necessary evil in our world for some type of structured belief system to be put in place for society to work properly; sad but true.

The problem with this is that religion is used as a form of control, division and far too often the dumbing down of humanity.

Within the more conservative, orthodox, fundamental, and/or extremist sects (which seem to be all religion has become) people lose logical, critical thought processes and individual thinking; this is when the herd mentality is seen, and displayed negatively; not for nature’s intent of it being survival instinct.

I believe it’s a true sign of character to question authority; it shows courage, but society tells us it’s wrong, that we always have someone to answer to, there is always an authority figure.

Call me crazy but, I not only had the notion and concept of being equal to everyone well established as a kid, it was also one of the main lessons taught to me by my late Grandfather.

You can believe you are equal to everyone and not come off pretentious, elitist, superior or condescending; all you have to do is show some compassion and respect.

People have lost respect for themselves, for each other and for this planet; respect for yourself and others, along with seeing the bigger purpose of fighting for this planet will allow you to transcend and ascend.

A point missed by so many.

There is so much healing and deprogramming that must occur for the human mind and soul to understand and accept there is something outside of themselves. However, when you get down to the bare bones of Magick you will come to the realization that YOU are all you will ever need; you never truly have to look outside yourself because everything and everyone is a reflection of you; the universe is inside of you as you are a inside it.

Religion has many dark sides, the main being that people fail to rely on themselves and take personal responsibility.

Nothing saddens me more than when people give credit for their hard work to God.

Such as, “I beat Cancer, God is good”—I am sure it had nothing to do with the 10+ years of schooling your Oncologist and team of Doctors went through.

My favorite recently was an acquaintance who had gastric bypass surgery to lose weight and practice a healthier lifestyle. I tip my hat to her.

If you are unfamiliar with the process, it’s not easy to get approved for this surgery and you need to show weight loss on your own, through diet and exercise before they will rubber band your stomach; I say it like that because no one wants to talk about the roots of the problem which are our appalling food industry, lack of fresh fruits and vegetables (at affordable costs) for those on and below the poverty line, and emotional binge eating–they only want to talk about the end product, “fat people” and how to shame them.

Needless to say 3 months after her surgery she looks and (assuming) feels fantastic but her posts on fb made me want to bash my head into a wall: “God is good, look at this weight loss.” Or “Won’t He do it, down another 20 pounds!”

Yes, because that is exactly what happened, God was so busy ignoring all the other woes, and ills of this world that he helped you with your weight loss, and had absolutely nothing to do with modern science, your strong will, and the drastic personal changes in your lifestyle.

Nope. It was all God.

The point I am trying to make is that I see testimonials of how Christianity or God saved someone, or helped someone along; I see praise being given time and time again to a Divine being, but never, or rarely do I see someone give some credit to themselves without being torn down by other’s who don’t understand that it is okay to pat yourself on the back, and give credit where credit is due.

There are stories galore about how Christianity saved people from other belief systems, addiction, bad situations, etc.

In fact, I recently read an article about a lovely Woman (much sarcasm) who gave a disgusting representation of the Craft, and said that her experience with Witches is what made her become a Christian. So much ran through my mind in that moment, what could have possibly happened within the craft to make this Woman run to a religion that has done nothing but persecute us, and everyone else that is not of their faith?

Fun Fact: A majority of “Witches” executed during Puritan Witch Trials were Christian, the actual Witches had fled to “New Salem” aka New Orleans when the Witch hunts began, or they found seclusion, solitude, and safety in the deep woods.

To put it simply, Christians were killing Christians.

Shocker.

I am going to say it loud and proud, Witchcraft saved my life.

The Craft helped me heal and understand my physical and mental illnesses, it saved me from many dangerous situations, it has allowed me to heal and hex, it has granted me a level of self-awareness I cannot put into words but most importantly, it saved me from myself.

Without Magick, I would be dead, and this is not something that’s questioned, or exaggerated, it is fact.

The thing with Magick is that it doesn’t come naturally or easily; when I say it doesn’t come naturally I mean that we have to put in work–I believe in natural Witches.

We are tested, brought to our limits and beyond; thrown into the Abyss where we learn to swim, or get swallowed up.

Magick itself is a test, it’s a challenge; those who choose to step on this path are tested by deities and Spirits we work with.

Often times though, the hardest test comes from the depths of our own psyche.

We lose concepts of comfort and security which are falsely placed anyways; we lose everything we thought we knew, everything we thought we loved, and all we can do is put the faith in ourselves, and our Craft that we will survive–that in our metaphorical death there will be purpose and rebirth.

I lost everything, quite literally, everything.

Once I truly devoted myself to Magick it was like a switch was flicked, a light had been turned on and suddenly the illusion that I had been living in, the lies I had been telling myself were seen for what they were: self-destructive behavior and suppressing my Magick.

I knew my Magick was there, I had experienced things since I was a kid, dabbling since I was 5, but I never fully embraced my Witch, I ran from her, she scared me; it took me years to face her and embrace her as part of my whole.

The process was the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life, but not a day goes by where I am not grateful for that pain; through suffering comes understanding.

I grow every day, I change every day, and I learn every day.

I am constantly evolving, constantly moving forward, seeking knowledge, and challenging myself.

It hasn’t been easy, and it isn’t easy now, but I have never experienced such life altering, mind blowing, soul shattering experiences before, and they continue to manifest in the most glorious ways.

Once your inner Witch awakens there is no denying her/him; you can suppress it for so long before the Universe will force your hand.

Once you have seen Magick, I mean, really seen Magick, there is no going back.

And, why would you want to?

Blessed Are The Witches.

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

October 10, 2015

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein

I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes. I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.

Truth Comes to Light

May 25, 2015

Image: Jessica Lutz

“Chaos is what we’ve lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.”

Terence McKenna

I’m not going to make any friends with post, for that I am sure; I guess it is a good thing I don’t write to make friends, I write to make people think. I sometimes feel that I think so much, about every single thing possible, so that others don’t have to. It’s like, if I analyze it, rip it apart, drive myself mad and tell of my findings, it may save another the pain. It takes a certain person to be able to exist in Chaos and I thrive in Chaos because it flows in my veins, while most dissipate into it.

I am going to write about some things that have been on my mind for a very long time, and I have written about them in the past but I didn’t do the topics any justice, or myself for that matter. I know that writing about the Occult I open myself up to criticism, and others opinions. I will usually debate, and I will always hear another’s opinion on the matter, we are all experiencing this world differently, and to deny listening to another is like denying them to tell their story.

I will never deny anyone the right to speak their truth.

I am going to speak some truth that many of you will probably not like, or deny all together, maybe you have never thought about it to begin with, or maybe you will know exactly what I mean. It is my hope, my intention that this piece will open your mind, and allow you to look deep within yourself. Allow yourself to get back to the roots of Magick because our community has gone far off track.

Because I do not want to come off as if I have a superiority complex, or that I am trying to tell anyone how to be, or whatever, I am going to tell you my story on the subject of ego and other Pagans/Witches/Otherkin. I am not at all innocent in allowing ego to take over, and I have experienced obnoxious amounts from other people. So, I have seen, literally felt, both sides.

This morning there was a situation that left me disappointed in a fellow Sister Witch, and I became so angry that I could not allow my Beast to stay inside, so here she sits with me to write this piece. I will not go into details about the situation but it had to do with ego, and a paranoid fear. While I understand why my Sister felt this way, her reaction and her Sister Witch’s reaction was uncalled for, and not how we should conduct ourselves.

I get it, if anyone gets ego, or fear, it’s me. If you have followed my writing since the beginning you have seen me call people out, and strut my stuff, as if I was the baddest in town. The Universe, however, did not find my display entertaining and made sure that I did not do it again. I have been that Witch who has made fun of Wiccans for being “light and fluffy” or “fluff bunnies”. I have been the one who dismisses others opinions because I thought I knew best. There is nothing that I have not experienced in regards to ego, and allowing it to take root in my mind.

I shut it out now, though. There is no room for ego on my path, it is simply not part of my journey.

There is pride, and that is something else entirely. Maybe another time, another post.

Let me get to the point..

Here are the issues we are facing as a community, and I am going to bring them to the surface because I am sick and tired of running into them at every corner. First, let me say that making fun of Wiccans, or any other belief, is unacceptable behavior, we should handle ourselves better, and it is the very intolerance that we experience from society. We cannot allow an eye for an eye mentality become the norm, we are better than that.

Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

We should not power ourselves with insults, we must power ourselves with knowledge, and know our craft. So, if there is a point to defend ourselves our Magick and defenses are top notch. The truth is, when we insult, make fun of, or belittle another, no matter how funny or how true the statement may be, it says more about us and our weak insecurities than it does about them.

Second, fear of Magickal attacks from fellow Witches seems to be a common theme. I want to bring some of you back to a level mind on this topic. A true Magickal attack is not easy to do, it takes skill, determination and true, pure intentions. This is not something that is a common occurrence, but it seems to be a common fear. Yes, we are at risk from spirit we work with, but to walk around defensive of every Witch and/or Otherkin we come across is not productive, and if we continue like this we will never learn anything, and we will always be alone.

To those who do use their Magick for attacks, big or small, that is not what Witchcraft is. I practice dark arts, and there is just as much healing, and support for other Witches as there is hexing, cursing, and the like. Magick should be something personal for you, not a skill you learn to harm other people. Get it?

We, Pagans, Satanists, Luciferians, Witches, Wiccans, Occultists, Otherkin, Heathens, Heretics, and any other label or non-label you can think of, are already ostracized by society. We already walk a lonely path, and while it may be hard to find someone who thinks exactly like we do, we can find likeminded individuals who help us grow. We can find others who know what it’s like to be made fun of, or ridiculed for having a non-conventional Philosophy. We can build a support system so that in times of stress, pain, and suffering we have counsel, we have protection, we have love and we have support.

But, we don’t do that, we don’t trust other people. Everyone thinks everyone else is fake, “fluffy”, or is out to get someone else, and blah blah blah.

None of this has to do with Magick, all of this gossip has to do with HUMAN insecurity coming through and using Magick as the guise. Only those insecure in themselves, their Magick, their shields, their defense, and their energy reading ability would walk around constantly scared of Magickal attack.

I know because I used to be like this, but now I am not. I took a long, deep look in the mirror, I faced my demons, I worked on my craft, I studied, I practiced, and I shed bled, and tears. This is the only way to freedom, you must shed your old self.

Let’s all take a collective deep breath.

Spiritual attacks are real, and I am in no way down playing them, but not every Witch you meet is out to get you, or strong enough to do so anyways. Come on guys, like I said, we can do better. We have to do better, it is our Magick that is going to save this place, but none of us can do it alone.

The next topic I want to discuss is ego. I have fell victim to this, and I was left embarrassed and disgusted by my behavior. I am here to help people, and nothing more. I want to write about my experiences in order for everyone to be as free as I am. When ego came into my life it wasn’t about the grand scheme of things anymore, it was about me, and there is no me. I am everything and nothing, I am the Alpha and Omega, I am the darkness and light. I am part of the cosmos, and to put myself before my soul’s purpose is something I cannot do.

Ego feels good, it is a momentary satisfaction but that is all that it is, a moment in time. It does nothing but make the other person feel like shit just to build yourself up. As someone who has played both roles, I can say that this is no way to be.

The thing I want to really say is, we have to start accepting others for who they are. We cannot accept them with conditions, or if they fit into a mold, we must be willing to accept all those who wish to walk this path. I can say that nothing has been more rewarding than my spiritual journey, and if I can help others find the strength to start forging their own then my job here is done.

We are all different, no two of us are alike, and that in and of itself is a fucking beautiful thing. If we do not begin to do better we will not be better, and if we can’t be better than what are we doing on this stupid rock to begin with?

Musings of a Modern Mystic: The Individual

January 21, 2015

Image: The Non, ‘Alchemia Mysteria’, 2010

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The individual is the most endangered species in our world today.

I find that even those who are ‘rebels’ by their own definition are doing nothing more than following the mentality of other self-proclaimed ‘rebels’. I understand that human’s need definition, or whatever (touchy subject because I despise labels) but to call yourself Free while following another seems counterproductive. No?

I know that I have, like many of you, sought out like minded individuals, and yes, I now prefer the company I keep to have somewhat of a similar world view.

However, I do not require us all to be the same, or all share my personal Philosophy.

It’s called a personal Philsophy for a reason.

What is the point of keeping company if they do not challenge you, in a positive way?

I have found that people who are different than I in regards to Philosophy teach me tolerance, and remind me how far I have come with maintaining respect.

Our society is nothing more than a social structure that “they” claim to call Democracy, and we follow suit like the good little herd we are.

But, what happens when you wake up?

What are the consequences of a Spiritual Awakening?

What do we lose when breaking the illusion?

What do we gain?

I think these are important questions to discuss if we want to get more free thinkers on our side, and no one seems to answer them.

I feel like our community is so divided, and full of Ego that when a “newbie” comes along the dynamic becomes one of dominance instead of one of teaching.

Why do so many people feel the need to establish dominance when an individual does not threaten you, or your ‘pack’?

First thing is first, I had no one to help me on my Spiritual path until years into it when I encountered 2 mentors; now, I look at everyone as a mentor of sorts.

I am the first to admit that an Awakening sucks, it’s terrible; I had physical pain that I cannot even put into words, I had visions that made me question my sanity and my “reality” was destroyed.

I lost friends, I became an entirely different person, but I would never choose for it to have played out differently.

We need to establish that yes a lot of the work on any spiritual path is up to the individual, and they are required to pass tests from the Universe on their own; that doesn’t mean we can’t help them.

I believe the more support we give each other, the further our cause will spread.

I have lost everything, but I earned my Freedom.

I walk an Ancient path, one that many refuse to understand but I still walk it proudly; I am no longer in the shadows.

I would secondly like to address the whole dominance thing. I get it, and have been guilty of it myself.

I am an Alpha female, and it’s in my nature to test anyone who tries to come near me, and mine.

But, I am trying to ease up on this primal reaction because I truly believe that I have the ability to help people on their path. I also think that when one feels the need to constantly establish dominance, it only shows how weak they truly are.

The possibilities of what we can attain together as a collective unit are boundless, but a unit of individuals CHOOSING to work towards a common goal without sacrificing Self are infinite.

The Nephilim Rising™

Posts tagged with Acceptance