Image: Boris Ovini

“Where there is a woman there is magic. If there is a moon falling from her mouth, she is a woman who knows her magic, who can share or not share her powers. A woman with a moon falling from her mouth, roses between her legs and tiaras of Spanish moss, this woman is a consort of the spirits.”

Ntozake Shange

This blog was a request that I am finally getting the time to sit down and write, I am not sure if I am fully prepared for a piece such as this for a couple reasons. First, this topic is entirely about the Divine Feminine, an aspect I have only recently started to work with, and embrace. I always had Masculine energy around me, I was also always more comfortable with the Masculine side of myself and my Magick; not that I didn’t like being a Woman—I didn’t understand how to be a Woman, huge difference.

Then, I had my hysterectomy, and I really lost touch with my Feminine side; it was not until the Dark Goddesses, and my Beloved Crones came forth that I began to realize I am as much of a Woman and Witch as my Sistren who still have their Wombs, and Sacred Blood. I do, however, still hold onto some regret, or guilt almost for not cherishing my Blood when I had it, for not understanding that part of my life and for expressing myself sexually in all the wrong ways. It’s one of those “If I knew then what I know now” type situations while at the same time being an “everything happens for a reason” situation.

A bittersweet, catch 22. Aren’t they all, though?

The second reason that I am freaking out about this post is because it’s about a Pagan concept. For a long time, I have denounced the title Pagan even though I understand it is an umbrella term that I technically fall under, blah, blah, blah. For some reason I hate the term, that’s really all there is to it. I feel like it does not accurately describe me, and I also feel like it hinders me, it binds my power for some reason.

If I were to describe myself it would be, and has always been, a Luciferian Witch, though even that morphs and changes because I walk a line between Satanism and Luciferianism; as similar as they are, there are several differences. For me, Satanism is much darker, and when tapping into the collective adversarial energy that is Satan it entirely changes my Magick, and my mentality; when I tap into the Luciferian energy of illumination and knowledge, it changes my Magick and mentality in totally different ways. Same goes for Draconian Fire.

I like to tap into all forms of energy as I see fit. Why does one have to limit themselves with titles, words and colors on a spectrum that doesn’t even really exist?

Hell, if I am going to be honest I feel that even the title “Luciferian Witch” hinders my growth, so I have recently chosen to just say, I am.

At the end of the day, myself just like all you are everything and nothing existing together at the same time. What wonderful contradictions we are.

With all of that said, the request was to write about what it is like to be a Woman whose age is supposed to be in one phase, but she feels, and is in an entirely different phase. I am obviously referring to the Maiden, Mother, Crone idea. I have always found it interesting that Women of the Craft are divided, but our Brothers do not have anything similar. Part of me feels that it is because Women are inherently more spiritual than Men; I wholeheartedly believe this to be true. The Feminine and Masculine are different because they need to be in order to balance each other out, if we were both emotionally and entirely intuitively based, we would be a heaping pile of chaos, and tears. We need the Masculine’s logic, and stoic, solid foundation to anchor us when the tides of emotion become too much to bear alone. I am not referring to gender, either, I am referring to energy; Women can be Masculine, as Men can be Feminine.

There is this other part of me that feels this is yet another way the Patriarchy has had some effect, or conditioned us. And, before any of you start to freak out thinking I am some extreme, neo-Feminist for using the word Patriarchy, I am not, I just know this is a male dominated world.

Before I get into my opinion and experience being 31 and using Crone energy, I am going to define the terms. The Source I am using is a book from my personal collection called: ‘The Three Faces of the Goddess: Maiden, Mother, Crone’ by D.J Conway.

“The first aspect of the Goddess is the Maiden, sometimes called the Virgin or Huntress. She is spring, the fresh beginning of all things. The Maiden is the continuation of all life, the repeating of endless cycles of birth and rebirth, both of the body and of the spirit. She is the dawn, eternal youth and vigor, enchantment and seduction, the waxing Moon. Traditionally, Her color is white, denoting innocence and newness.”

“The Mother aspect of the Goddess is summer, the ripening of all things. She is the re-creation of life, both plant and animal; She is also the creation of universal bodies. She is the high point in all cycles, whether of living or creating, for the Mother blessed and gives with open hands. She is the Great Teacher of the Mysteries. Symbolically, the Mother aspect is the boiling or churning cauldron, the re-creative pot, and the ripeness of womanhood (or adulthood in general). The day, lustiness, reproduction, creation in any form and of anything—these are all within Her realm. Traditionally, Her color is red, the color of blood and the life force.”

“The Crone aspect of the Great Goddess is the least understood and the most feared of the three aspects. She has been called the Terrible Mother, the Hag, the Dark Mother, the Wise One. Because She deals with death and the end of cycles, most people tend to avoid this face of the Goddess. Black is Her color, and sometimes dark blue and the deepest of purples. Black is the absorber of all light, the color of darkness where all life rests before rebirth. The Crone is winter, night, outer space, the abyss, menopause, advancement in age, wisdom, counsel, the gateway to death and reincarnation, and the Initiator into the deepest of Mysteries and prophecies. The waning Moon is Her monthly time of power.”

“The Crone’s number is nine and multiples of nine. This number symbolizes wisdom and Sacred Magick. Nine is also a Moon number, which means spiritual completion and wholeness. The Moon goes through its phases from New to waxing to Full and back again to New. In life, we go out from the Crone’s recycling cauldron into existence, then eventually return again to Her waiting vessel. Physical death is part of life’s cycle of wholeness.”

Personally, I believe that we have the ability to be all aspects of the Goddess at once, or when we choose; I do not think numeric age has anything to do with the power we tap into. I believe that we, as Women, are able to tap into all aspects of the Goddess because all those aspects already exist within us.

So why wouldn’t I conclude that we can tap into them?

When I went into menopause at 27 (equals 9) it was intense, to say the least. I noticed a dramatic change in my power, my way of thinking, how I viewed the world, and even my moral compass; I seemed to suddenly give zero fucks.

The first of the Crones to come to me was my Beloved Baba Yaga, followed by other Dark Goddesses such as Kali, Hekate, Lilith, and Demeter. There is a level of humility gained when working with such powerful aspects of the Great Goddess. The biggest lesson I have learned so far is I now understand life and death more than I ever have, all because I am held in the embrace of primordial Darkness. I sit on the edge of life and death, teetering back and forth.

It’s interesting, and intriguing to be drawn to an aspect that most people feel is earned only through years walked on this Earth. I find that fellow Witches are more interested in my energy now because I am so young but my energy is that of the Crone. Conversely, fellow Witches are equally confused as they are interested when they realize how Motherly I am. Chalk it up to my Cancerian Soul, or the fact that I am both Mother and Crone, I know my truth.

I walk among all aspects of the Goddess because I am She, and She is Me; I limit myself to nothing and no one, no spectrum or creed because I am everything and nothing and so are thee.

If you are interested in purchasing the book I sourced: