Image: Jill Willcott
“At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets.”
Some of you may know the story of The Nephilim Rising, and others may not. I am currently experiencing some major positive changes (finally) and I just need to take a moment and talk about this full circle moment; the moment when seeds begin to sprout and blossoms are soon to follow.
I found Dear Wicked in 2013, and I was at my weakest point in my life thus far. I was met by the Mothering, Powerful, Succubi energy that is C, and she forever changed my life. It was like I found home, and through endless conversations late at night we became friends, then Sisters, and she saw my potential.
She told me from the very beginning that the true test of a Teacher is to have a Student who is stronger than they are; she said that person was going to be me. At the time the whole idea seemed so far-fetched (still does) and I am not one who feeds into ideas of power–if you say you are, you aren’t. But, to have a Crone, a mentor, the first intimidating Witch I had really ever come across tell me something like that, it planted a seed inside me, and she knew it.
I, however, did not know until tonight, until right now; as I write this pieces still forming and connecting.
Let’s fast forward to December of 2014 when, in an act of rebellion during one of my famous tantrums I started this blog and the Facebook page. It was satisfying, at first, but then reality set in and all I could think was, “fuck, I am running a page and blog now– I am not only running a page and blog, but apparently my ego got to me and I have a point to prove, too.”
Well, in case you were wondering, you are never rewarded when trying to prove a point; it will always backfire.
And, so it did.
I struggled at first, I was met with a lot of haters and people who were chomping at the bit to “take a bite out of Noir” but I stood there and I took it. I may have reacted more times than I wanted to, I may have made an ass of myself a few too many times, but I stood my ground.
Some of the darkest moments of my entire life have coincided with me being a public figure, for lack of a better term. My readership has bared witness to a true personal testimony of what it means to have a spiritual awakening, find your power, and walk the Left Hand Path.
It is because of the page and this blog that I am going to be an Author– a real published Author. When the world is filled with writers galore, many self-publishing, it is no big deal, it seems, to be published.
To me, it’s everything. It’s the only thing.
The bar is much higher now, though. It’s about adding new ideas, flavor, quantity, what best seller lists you make, or just pure fucking epic talent. A writer must consistently deliver and always be at their best level.
The problem is most writers don’t go past their personal best, so they remain stagnant—comfortable. As my Editor said a few days ago, “It is not in the Luciferian Nature to remain stagnant”.
I guess once again my free thinking Philosophy has helped me in life.
Let’s face it, I am not the best writer and my grammar at times even makes me cringe, but I grow, I evolve, and I continue to work on my Crafts: Magick and Writing, some say they are one in the same, I happen to agree.
Recently I found out that Black Moon Publishing is going to publish the book that myself and fellow Rebels wrote titled Lucifer: Light of the Aeon.
My Chapters feature images by some amazingly talented Women. I am honored to be using their Magickally infused Art to help tell my story, and convey a message to the reader. Thank you, Isis Graywood, Lupe Vasconcelos and Orlee Andromedae. Also, one of my Chapters includes a poem by the talented Magenta Nero.
To say that I am grateful, and humbled to be among the talent I am, would be an understatement. I am in the company of Artists, Writers, Witches and Sages that are so Wise beyond my years; the blessing does not go unseen by me.
I don’t consider myself special, although sometimes I know that I am (Capricorn Rising talking) I just think of myself as someone who is living, breathing, and burning entirely, freely and openly in their truth.
That is the key to my success: being true to me no matter the cost.
Even when it was unpopular, particularly when it is unpopular, even when I came under fire, even when I was stuck in the darkest of dark’s, I vowed to remain true to myself, and now that Jupiter has gone direct my hard work is literally paying off and manifesting right before my eyes.
Apparently I made some kind of impression because my Editor has asked me to be part of another possible book project.
I stand here in the deepest of gratitude for the abundance and prosperity in my life and to think, it’s all because I decided to take a leap of faith.
I am living proof that a little rebellion, living your truth and good ol’ fashion hard work can and does pay off.
The page reached 17,000 likes this evening, and it is at this point just completely surreal. I created NR because I wanted and needed a sanctuary; it just so happens 17,000 people decided to join me. I am so grateful for all of you who share this journey with me.
I’m just getting warmed up.