Image: Julio Castillo Jr.
“The energy of life entering and leaving your body flows evenly throughout the universe. With that current, the mind of the cosmos communicates with all things.”
It has been some time since I have done a piece per request, this one seems not only needed, but well overdue. I posted an article about Psychic Vampyrism as I often do when I come across them. I have fallen victim to Psychic Vampyr’s who loved to feed off my endless supply of emotions, and quick reaction time; something I am working on changing but the Triple Cancer in me has a hard time, not to mention my Capricorn Rising, and Taurus Moon. I have had Vampyrs come in all forms and disrupt my life to say the least, and they fed; everything from anger and rage, to sadness and pain, each experience being worse than the last when I was not a WILLING PARTICIPANT.
I think people believe that I am against the whole idea, or that I am always citing the negative, I am only against what I refer to as unethical feeding. Even when I wrote a blog of my own about it some months back, I stated this fact, but the piece got me into tons of trouble with quite a few members of the Vampyr community. I ended up with two attachments, which is not usual behavior for Vampyrs, and it is not a common trend. Please do not confuse an ethical Vampyr with one who abuses their power.
The thing is, I have a Vampyric trait, I don’t openly discuss it for a few reasons; first being it’s no one’s business, second being there are too many negative social stigmas attached to the word and the concept itself, and third, I am not someone’s fetish. I say that I am not someone’s fetish because feeding is a rush, a sensation, a feeling of ecstasy that cannot be described in any word, of any language; it is addicting to both parties involved.
Before I go any further and tell you my experiences, I want to say that I do not speak for all Vampyrs, I am only speaking for myself. I follow a strict set of my OWN rules, and do not personally follow the codex, which I will link you to at the bottom. My only hope is to enlighten some folks, and change some opinions about a trait that is so demonized, and so misunderstood.
Perhaps, also, I can gain a little redemption among the Vampyr community from my last blog, talking only about the negatives.
I realized my trait at a very early age because I lived in a volatile, abusive household and there was tension in the air because at any given moment all Hell could break loose. When I would notice my Mother in pain I would go to comfort her, curling up in her lap or making any excuse to touch her. As I made contact with her, I would focus on taking her pain, her sadness, all while healing her wounds.
It was an energy exchange– I was taking her shattered, pained energy and replacing it with my vibrant, comforting, youthful, healing energy. I know she did not give her consent to the “feeding” (I call it that because I did in fact feed) but I believe in some cases, cases like this, it’s okay to take away someone’s pain. Though I suppose if I am going to be my own Devil’s Advocate, sometimes pain is necessary for individual growth, and taking it could be disruptive to the process. However, I have done so in the past, and will continue to do so if I see the need. It all boils down to personal judgment and ethics, I guess.
I think of Psychic Vampyrism as a form of Alchemy, we have the ability to take a specific energy, or emotion, and manipulate it, change it, and create something that will benefit us, and ultimately our subject, partner, whatever you wish to call them.
It was during my teen years that I began to see the ugly side of my trait, and I would stir the pot just to see people react negatively, and feed off of those emotions. I didn’t understand at the time that solely feeding off of negative energy made me heavy with emotion, depressed, and enraged. The term, “you are what you eat” comes to mind. I also had no clue how to manipulate energy that I created, something that took me years to get a grasp on.
Note: What I mean by “energy I created” is I set up the situation in order to get a certain reaction out of a person(s). Vampyrism is primarily a psychological practice.
As I have gotten older, and gained wisdom with maturity, I have used my trait to take on people’s emotions, burdens, and pains through consensual exchanges. It seems my number one problem remains, though and that is, I often forget to take care of myself. I forget to transform the energy and it ends up consuming me; too much energy, positive or negative is not good if not properly channeled, and transmuted. This is where my fellow Vampyr comes into play.
I have a long term, non-sexual relationship with a fellow Succubus, and when I need to get rid of some of my energy it seems that she can sense it and a message will soon appear in my inbox with a simple question, “Do you need me?”. Of course I stubbornly say yes, and she takes on the sludge that has built up on me, and replaces it with her golden, vitality filled life force. I find that for me to benefit the most out of healing sessions such as this, my fellow Vampyr must have a Daemonic aspect like I do.
My life has been effected in negative ways by Psychic Vampirism, sure, but my life has also been transformed because of it. I have also been able to help people, and that is what is most important to me. I have gained confidence, and a sense of pride because I learned to integrate this trait as part of my whole; a trait that at one point terrified me because I thought people would think I was a freak, or just a plain ol’ douchebag. Admit it, we do get a bad rap.
Psychic Vampyrism is not just the narcissist causing drama for their own ego, it does not always come disguised as the abusive relationship, or toxic friendship, there is a positive side, as there should be in order to maintain balance; I actually like to think a majority of cases are nothing more than a mutual exchange of energy that in one way or another benefits the dynamic of the partnership.
We are healers, too.
P.s Of course there is a sexual aspect to Vampyric feeding, and I have participated in the past but I did not touch on that topic because I am currently celibate, and sexual feeding is an entirely different ball game, one that deserves its own post.
To read through the Codex: