Image: Jeffrey Padgett
“With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you – that’s my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”
I have always battled with the idea of pre-destiny because this concept then leads to a bunch of questions that I simply cannot answer and for my Luciferian mind, I need answers.
Who is behind predestination? Is it an Omniscient power, if so, I do not subscribe to that idea; where, then, am I to be? Where is my place?
Why do I feel such deep resonation in the core of my being when I hear certain Sacred Chants, practice particular Mudras and hold trinkets in my hands that tell me stories which only further deepen my feelings of déjà vu?
There have been and continues to be moments in my life that are filled with so much synchronicity that it is hard to deny that I am exactly where I need to be.
The Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse is going to be potent tonight because it is the Harvest Moon, in the middle of Eclipse Season in the sign of Pisces, during Mercury Retrograde when the wheel is turning during a year that has proven to be full of change; both positive and negative. I guess the number 9 is really living up to its reputation.
This year (2+0+1+6 = 9) is a number of completion and with all the deaths that completion has a feeling of sorrow, and finality with it but as we approached this Moon I could feel a sense of hope beginning to blossom; a feeling that I have not felt in a very long time.
I have been feeling this change for several years now but it was chaotic in origin and I thought it had peaked last year.
As a matter of fact, it was the SUPER POWERFUL Blood Moon/Eclipse around this time last year that I had a really good session of Magick. I came out of that casting feeling prepared for the new chapter, and ready to let go of so much—of so many.
But, we weren’t ready, yet. And so this year began with a bang both literal and metaphorical and it has been bang after bang, blow after blow ever since.
This year has been full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations; actual blood, sweat and tears.
For me personally, I lost my Grandmother in April, a death that hit and continues to hit hard. I mended the relationship with most of my family, shockingly, that includes my Father.
I saw him briefly last weekend when I went away; I initially went in to babysit my niece but then my Father called and wanted to take me out to lunch. Instant panic. I listened to my gut and I went, and that was one of the realist conversations I have ever in my 32 years of life had with him. I was able to say things that I needed to say for YEARS; I was able to be as frank, sassy and witty as I am with everyone else and he took it in stride with a smirk on his face and actually listened.
Maybe he sees the error of his ways now that the wisdom of old age seems to be setting in. Maybe the loss of his Mother made him see life for what it is. Maybe his own mortality and fragile body have awakened him; whatever the reason, healing the Father Wound has been one of the most profound things to happen to me. Especially for it to come just one week after being published, and before this Moon.
It’s times like these that I know the Universe has my back, that the Universe hears me and that I am really not alone.
There are few things in life more satisfying that being able to fully write and close a chapter and move on and/or forward. So satisfying that I cannot find anything to compare it to.
I can see the proverbial door that I am supposed to walk through; we are all going to walk through it.
This Moon is a portal– a new chapter for us. It is very important to be mindful of our words and thoughts today because what we manifest during this time will foretell our upcoming year….years.
I have been getting a lot of number sequences lately; the ones hitting hardest are 10, 111, 444, and 555.
I have also been getting hit with a lot of visions. There have been messages via various Spirit Animals as well, including Crows, Cardinals, Blue Jays, Dragonflies, Snakes and of course, the Dreamweaver: Grandmother Spider.
There have been many strange occurrences happening in my life and all I can say about those is they have been out of this world fucking weird; I don’t want to go into detail because some of this is for me to keep close to my heart.
I will tell you about the statue, though.
As many of you know, I love Eastern Traditions and mythology; I am very much influenced by the Hindu Pantheon, have been drawn specifically to the area of Tibet, and have collected Buddha and Elephant statues (very specific ones) for years.
It seems that I find Buddha when I am happy, or content—when serendipity and synchronicity dance arm in arm.
It’s no surprise then that I have not stumbled across him in many years.
The usual version I find is the chubby, laughing Buddha, though I do have young Buddha as well. My rule is that I do not want him as a gift, only if I come across him and he calls to me.
A few weeks ago while out shopping one weekend with my Mom I stopped at a local Antique shop we frequent and found some really good items. I came home with a set of old, iron candlestick holders, a set of shelves that are from early 19th century that were actually made in my hometown (I live about 2 hours away now), a very old sun wheel type of statue, and the Bronze statue pictured below. (I know, he has to be cleaned, and polished.)
I didn’t know who the statue was, and I didn’t know it was a Buddha; I actually thought it was from the Hindu Pantheon. And so I put him on my altar with the other Hindu and Egyptian deities where he seemed to just fit right in.
The rest of the day was filled with weird moments, including a ghost at another Antique Shop we went in and running into some strong Witches at my local Witch Shop. The owner, a wonderful Crone, playfully tested me and my knowledge. It was a way for us to say “I see you”.
I didn’t figure out who this statue was until last week, and didn’t put the pieces together until this morning.
“Mañjuśrī, Manjushri is the oldest and most significant bodhisattva in Mahāyāna literature. Manjushri is a Bodhisattva who represents wisdom, and his mantra also symbolizes that quality. He holds a sword in his right hand — symbolizing his ability to cut through delusion/illusion. In his left hand, by his heart, he holds the stem of a lotus flower, which bears a book — the Perfection of Wisdom teaching, or Prajnaparamita.
“Also depicted displaying the Jnana Mudra or Gyan Mudra. This is the most common yogic mudra used in meditation. In Sanskrit, the word ‘Jnana’ means knowledge or wisdom and ‘mudra’ means sign or gesture. It literally means the psychic gesture of Knowledge or wisdom.
“Manjushri is the embodiment of all the Buddha’ wisdom. The word manju means “charming, beautiful, pleasing” and Shri means “glory, brilliance”. The Bodhisattva is regarded as the crown prince of Buddhist teachings, or the one who can best explain the Buddhist wisdom, that is able to extinguish afflictions and bring about enlightenment. Manjushri has this title because eons ago, he was the instructor for seven different Buddha’, the last being Sakyamuni Buddha.”
One of the reasons alarm bells (in a good sense) went off when I read this was because he taught 7 other Buddha’– 7 is not only my Life Path number but it has been significant in my life. Another reason that I smiled at the Universe and its message via this statue was because it says he was the “one who could best explain the teachings”.
I cannot tell you how many times people have told me that they love my writings because I say and explain what they can’t seem to do, and I say it in a way that it makes sense to everyone.
I think I am just rambling.
Other points I noticed: I have been drawn to the lotus flower since I was a child, even getting matching lotus tattoos with my Mom to symbolize our rise from the mud of our past. The Lion is one my Totem Animals. And, I am a writer which seems to by default put me in a position of also being an educator.
The point I am getting at is that I am beginning to believe we really do have an end destination and it seems to be pre-destined, and that no matter which way we go along the way, all paths will lead to it.
The signs are all around us.
Catholicism led to me seek out all religions, which is how Hinduism found me, which led me to the Left Hand Path, which then led me to Luciferianism, which has now led me to Buddhism.
And it seems that with each new path the lesson for me remains the same: stay true to yourself, teach and learn as you go, seek yourself by going within when you are lost, and be a beacon for those who have yet to find the light.
Be a beacon for those who have yet to discover that they are the light.
Enlightenment through the service of others; liberation in the acknowledgement of it all.
I am a child of the stars and the lessons in this life are just as endless…
That brought me to tears. Not painful tears but a true sense of conformation. “This is where you (I) belong, you are not lost, you are in transition. Burn your incense and Go inside then see what you already know. With chaos there’s structure and balance.”
Thank you for following your intuition, also for your rambling. Lol. You are an excellent teacher. 💙