Image: David Ho
“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
It has been an interesting week, or two weeks I should say, I have been quiet on the blog because I have been busy in the group, and my personal life. I also haven’t been feeling fantastic, needless to say I am feeling better today. I find the timing odd because usually this close to the Full Moon I am full on lunatic, but other than some drama within the group, and the health stuff, all has been calm.
I seem to be hotter tempered than usual, reacting at any and every thing. Until yesterday everything came to the surface and I cried it out, I yelled it out, and I cursed the Universe out. Only to give my gratitude back later for all I have been gifted with.
I took the opportunity of Mercury Retrograde and this Full Moon in fiery Aries to let shit go, drop what no longer serves my higher self. This means feelings, emotions, guilt….
I am pulling up stuff from childhood, my “Daddy issues” and wounds from my past. I am dealing with it all, and facing each emotion, each pain, one by one. It is a task much more difficult than I had originally thought, but it is necessary. I have been studying my natal chart, and trying to understand what makes me tick. I have consulted with two of my Astrologer friends who have helped immensely, and both noted the amount of retrograde planets in my chart; one saying it is a sign that I have had many past lives.
I also discovered Neptune is in my 12th house, and Mars is in Scorpio (apparently these are big deals). Also, my Pluto is in Libra, and this placement is known as the ones who will change the world.
Needless to say I have been quiet because I have been on a quest of my own, a journey deep into self, taking advantage of the madness and emotions for once in my life.
The cosmic energy this year, as I keep saying, is one for the record books. It only took me until September to learn how to use the chaos to my advantage, thanks to a few amazing new people I met. I had never thought my chaotic being could be used to help me, until I realized that the chaos is my tool.
Yesterday I was accused of bringing the knife out too soon in a fight, my friends quickly reminded me—I am the knife.
Let me focus and regroup here, because I have got way off track. I have missed writing, and am just playing catch up, while tying it all together.
A few people in the group have mentioned feeling “out of their skin” or jumpy lately, they describe it as not feeling like themselves. In their case it is not just the cosmic energy, they are experiencing a shift in consciousness.
“Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.”
Charles Feidelson, Jr.
People seem to have this idea that once you break free from the status quo, once you break free from the chains society has put on you, that it’s the end. I see people stop seeking, stop searching, but they are missing the point: The breakaway is just the beginning, it is just the first of many small deaths, and rebirths you will experience on your path. The serpent is not used as a metaphor for no reason, it is used as a metaphor for thousands of reasons.
When we shift our consciousness we are shedding our skin, we become sensitive to our environment, we go into hiding; the molting phase.
The symptoms of an awakening are endless but some of the more common ones are changes in appetite, depression/anxiety/panic out of nowhere, withdrawing from friends who hold you back, withdrawing from community/family, seeking like minds or your “soul tribe”, a longing for “home”, mood swings, sensitivity to light and sound, frequent headaches, vertigo, tinnitus, vivid dreaming, fatigue, chronic pain syndrome’s, swollen glands, allergies, and just an overall feeling of “something is off”.
These symptoms are from my experience and observation, I am not a medical professional and if you experience any of these symptoms to an extreme, or long term then you need to seek medical help.
The awakening wreaks havoc on the body, and the mind, but the benefits quickly reveal themselves.
The number one question after the initial, “am I crazy?” is “where do I begin?”
My answer is always the same, there is no starting point, you just have to start reading, voraciously. That is the best advice I can give, and I really mean it.
Your intuition will kick in, your instincts will guide you to be exactly where you need to be. There is not a mapped out path to get to center, we all reach it on our own, and in our own time. This is not a race, this is not a competition, we individually have to walk our own path, but along the way we are able to help each other. I think too many forget, or maybe don’t understand, the personal benefits to helping another. I guess that is another post, though.
We can elevate people, as we elevate ourselves. It costs us nothing, it does not harm us to help another; in fact I believe it helps.
I was asked what suggestions I can give to help alleviate the symptoms, and I can only speak from my experience, and my knowledge.
Besides reading, and making reading part of your daily routine (even if just for 15 minutes on your lunch break at work, read ancient text, or a book on something Occult/spiritual related, instead of fb). It will become a habit, and you will thank me later for the suggestion.
You will find yourself reading for 10 minutes in the bathroom in the morning, or at night instead of being on fb, or online shopping, or whatever it is that we do on our phones for hours a day.
Your mind will begin to put the pieces together, and you will feel everything, it’s like the world as a collective suddenly resonates deeply with you, and you cannot control your overwhelming need to withdraw, or the urge to burst open from the seams.
An awakening is a drug in its own league.
The next suggestion I have is crystals, I think people underestimate the power of “rocks” and the vibrations they carry. Everything is energy, and crystals react to energy, when we find a crystal that matches our own vibrations it is a pairing of song and dance that would make Chaplin jealous.
After this the only other things I can suggest are meditation, exercise. I personally do yoga, and believe me I am no yogi. I do what I can do, and what I can’t, I tell myself that one day I will get there. I also suggest eating as healthy as possible, it helps to keep your vibrations high. Be aware of the people you surround yourself with, some are as toxic as the poisons in our air, and food.
The final piece of advice I can give is, be true to you. No matter what happens, be true to YOU. There are going to be haters, and naysayers (it means you’re doing something right). There are going to be people doubting you, and you will lose friends, along with losing an old mentality and way of living but what you gain cannot be calculated, and that is what you need to focus on.
You need to burn in the fire of your truth.