“Something inside her was made of moonflowers.”
Women are amazing creatures (all people are but this is for my ladies).
Our bodies can bring life into being—that’s beyond profound.
Our lips cast spells of honey, healing words and hexes when you threaten what is ours; our hips are built to birth babies; our breasts are meant to feed our young and a comforting landing zone for their tired, sad heads when the world tries to tear them down; we are everything nature is.
Creative. Destructive. Powerful. Weak. Compassionate. Cruel. Beautiful. Ugly. Forgiving. Merciless.
We are a mix of wonderful paradoxes and Divine chaos.
For me, Witches epitomize what it means to be a Woman; in our society being a Woman automatically makes you inferior in many people’s eyes but when you are a Witch, you take back a lot of your power without even knowing it.
You see, the world hates strong Women.
So, yeah, we are more likely to be targeted by the weak and ignorant minded on a smaller scale but in the grand scheme we are generally left alone because there is no force as strong as a Woman who has stepped into her power. Many will choose to avoid us altogether rather than face us head on.
Of course, I am not suggesting that the *only* strong Women to exist are Witches, but I am saying that Women who are Witches are the strongest I know.
Women and the Moon have been connected since the beginning of time; it was the Moon who helped the first Women map their menses, and their Magick.
We are created to be cyclical; just like the ocean has an ebb and flow, so do we and just like the ocean, it is the Moon who rules ours.
When I first started on the path I kind of just jumped right in and for me the Feminine aspect of myself, my Magick, and my Craft was not of huge importance; I just wanted knowledge.
When I began to evolve on my path I reached a point where I had to open the door to my Femininity, my Womanly essence; I had to find the root of my pain, and the root of my power so that I could tap into both; use one to heal the other.
So, I went searching.
If you have ever looked-for articles, books, or blogs written about Witches, the Moon and Menses, you will see that the search results are endless; literally, it’s an endless list of search results.
Sounds great, right?
Well, not really.
All these articles talked about us connecting to our Wombs, how important our menstrual blood is, and how we should map our PMS with our Magick, and emotions, which is all true.
But, what about those of us Women who are Witches that don’t have a womb?
The ones who don’t bleed?
Where are we represented, not even that but where are we to look for answers about our bodies and how they relate to and reflect Mother back upon us when everything we read is telling us we are not fully a Woman because we have a womb space, instead of an actual womb?
I had a full hysterectomy as many of you know—I write about it all the time because I want people to understand my story.
There are Sisters who are Transgender, and thus biologically they cannot bleed. I believe that Transgender Women have a womb space that is like a collective consciousness; I have a womb space that is a void of sorts, a place where my womb once stood, residual power that can still be tapped into; then there are Women fully in-tact with their womb in place.
Womb or not, we are all powerful creatures.
We are all deserving of our Magick.
We are all beautiful definitions of the Divine Feminine.
There are Women who are post-menopausal, which usually happens in our Crone years but can in a lot of cases happen sooner—known as Early Onset, or Premature Menopause.
Drawing from Crone power and wisdom, along with feeling a disconnect from my womb were huge hurdles for me to overcome.
I eventually accepted that my Magick took a turn towards the Crone’s wisdom and grayness once I hit menopause because that is what I needed at that time, which helps validate my “we are cyclical” theory.
It also led me to the lesson that I believe we can tap into Maiden, Mother and Crone energy throughout our entire lives; for me they are not just age ranges, they are feelings, thoughts, emotions, learning experiences, etc.
What life requires from us is what energy we will and should draw from.
Menstruation has long been thought of as gross, taboo and something that shouldn’t be discussed; as a Women’s Rights Activist, Feminist and someone who promotes Wild Woman Spirituality, it makes my heart sing that we are beginning to break down the barriers of misunderstanding and blood that have divided us for too long.
Our bleeding is necessary for life.
That is the furthest from “gross” I can think of.
But, while we are breaking down barriers and progressively moving forward it’s important to understand that our community is not one size fits all; we do not all fit into one box and there should be representations, and voices that everyone can relate to.
I know what it means to bleed, have it taken away, not bleed, and then be thrust into menopause, at 27 mind you.
The entire experience has made me a stronger person, a better Witch and a more compassionate Woman.
We are amazing, cyclical creatures that are guided by the Moon; our menses and madness follow it’s phases.
Blessed Are the Witches.
Excellent, excellent as always. I also had a hysterectomy early in life so i can relate to this. Hugs darling.
Hi there @ Jacyln Cherie ,
I’m a Witch whom totally understands every word you are writing and more. I sadly had no choice but to have a hysterectomy at the age of only 35. The surgeon assured me that I wouldn’t notice the difference and that my fiancé would love it. The obstetric surgeon also to,d me how lucky was. “Why”? I replied. He said: “because you will still retain your ovaries. So that you don’t go into early menopause”. “ER…Ok that’s find. Thanks Dr” and off he went.
Switch now to an where I am a Crone in my mid 50s plus I’ve got grandchildren too. Lol But seriously as a Witch it still upsets me to this day that I didn’t have some sort of “Goodbye ritual to my uterus. It went through 5 preganancies. 2 were healthy last babies and 3 miscarriages. Surely I owed this incredible organ a proper goodbye right”? Every single pregnancy meant so much to me and to this day I still mourn my uterus even at my age.
The surgeon had the audacity to show me a photo of my uterus after it had been cut out from me 6 weeks after my surgery. Then he took the photo away from me swiftly shoving it into my file in his office drawers. Of course this was how it was all done back in 1996. I was only 35 back then. I didn’t realise what a misogynistic thing that my surgeon had done to me. Totally disempowering me as a full woman. If it happened today knowing what I now know. I could have taken it home to bury it properly. To say goodbye to an organ that meant so much to me and have me 2 beautiful baby’s”..This is one of my greatest regrets but kys too late for me to do anything about it now!
I had no idea how much I was going to mourn my uterus in the future. She was taken Im 1996 and now it’s 2017 and I still feel the pain! Especially when I’ve read about some Witch’s whom only think you can do deeply spiritual magick with menstrual loves blood. This upsets me a lot and I say “total B.S.” to that because “I’ve done deep some incredibly successful Magick using my own blood taken in other ways”! It’s not about quanity it’s about quality whether you know what your really working towards or not?
Sorry end of rant. Lol I’ve been meaning to tell you Jaclyn that I think your blog is the best here! I really enjoy reading it a lot. I admire the fact that your a writer living in the US in N.Y. living the dream! I sincerely admire that as I aspire to,be a writer especially th my blogs and 2 books. However I’m unable to work due to injuries from my job. But now but at least I’m able to be a full time Witch & Occultist now. Which has brought me many hidden blessings indeed.
But to be honest I never get around to editing and planning my blogs and writing in general well enough. Any advice Jaclyn would be appreciated? If you check put my blog? You will find that Ive got content but not regularly enough or edited enough as I’ve only recently got a new PC. I just use my iPad for almost everything. Any advice or comments on what I’ve written would be awesome!
Your thoughts on what I’ve written about losing my uterus would be fascinating to me? As I’ve never read anybody really addressing this issue before? As well as any advice to help me keep on writing regulatly.
Perhaps I should add that my main “stressor in life is chronic pain”! That’s still under treated in general and I don’t get the help that I should! As in the end it seems that’s it’s all up to us as individuals right! Even our own Drs here don’t know which way to turn? It’s legal for medicinal use supposedly. Yet ther is no legal supplier not do our Drs have any guidelines on how, when, where or how people here (Australia) can be prescrobed ro go to get medicinal cannabis,
I don’t know why it’s such a problem? When I know that in California, Oregon and others states it’s leglised with proof that it works. Any opinions you have on this compels topic Jaclyn would be really appreciated?
Anyways I’ll end here now. I’ve been meaning to write to let you know how much I enjoy all of your blogs very much. They are so refreshingly intelligent in a world of pretenders, snake oil salesman and wanna be’s. I love your style!❤️
Blessed Be & Namaste,
From 🇦🇺 Australia,
Caz, words do not begin to express how grateful I am that you felt safe enough to share your own story with me; I have been planning for quite some time to write a blog, or a post about the misogyny I faced with my hysterectomy, the treatment I received and the fiasco the whole thing created. The memo pad on my phone is full of blog ideas, blog excerpts, and pieces of poetry waiting to be strung together.
So, keep an eye out because my story is so very much like yours.
Also, I just want to say this (don’t want to say too much because I want to save some for the future blog! Haha), I also wished I had valued, treasured and understood my womb, and my organs back then; I would have liked to given them a ceremony and burial on Sacred Ground as well. I have a feeling that you and I simply cannot be the only ones who have struggled with this, or faced experiences such as ours. Which is more motivation to tell my story.
Thank you for your kind words; I am living a dream, my dream but it may not be everyone’s dream. I by no means have a perfect life, I live with family (which I actually LOVE but some people think it denotes my lack of success) and I have an array of health issues (chronic auto immune diseases), and chronic pain and fatigue syndromes, among other things. I relate to your words as much as you relate to mine.
In regard to the advice you asked for; I looked at your blog, and I love your writing, I think you have a lot to say, and offer; you are creating a space for yourself to grow, while sharing your stories with the world.
As far as editing goes, you will get better with time; I find myself editing blogs I wrote a year, or even two years ago simply because I know more now about editing, and my writing has evolved—don’t get hung up on the editing. And, don’t beat the muse up when she chooses not to appear. When I first started I was *crazy* with the idea that I had to write (and publish) a blog every single day. As time went by and my star began to rise a little, it was obvious that other areas of my life required attention and writing publishable blogs daily would no longer be a thing. Creative life doesn’t follow rules, or schedules, so when the feeling or mood strikes, you gotta take it (again, I know life doesn’t always allow this, but you gotta try) and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t take the time, or if you have writer’s block. Though, most of my writer’s block has been overcome by simply sitting down in front of my computer and just writing–you can always go back and edit the post; sometimes it’s best to just start off rambling and eventually the point will make itself clear and you will find yourself writing like a mad Woman once you hit that sweet spot. Keep paper nearby, or a memo pad on your phone like I do, so that when an idea hits you can at least write it down, get it out of your head and make space for more creative madness.
The only other suggestion I have to help with your writing is to read as much as you can; you can’t be a good writer, unless you’re a good reader. Oh, and one other thing, try to write (again not necessarily publish) 2,000 words per day; it gets your body used to the habit of writing and will help your overall performance.
I think (and know) that cannabis is a paramount healer; for me I associate cannabis with Ganja (the Goddess) and Shiva–I use cannabis for many healing purposes. Without it, I don’t know where I would be because the medications I was prescribed caused reactions every single time I took them; my Doctor’s finally agreed that besides my HRT, Thyroid and Heartburn medications I was not “Created” (whatever he meant by that) to handle medication and thus, I started to look elsewhere. I don’t know if it will be legal all over the U.S or the world; I think those in power are still trying to figure out how they can best monopolize the industry and until they can figure that out, it won’t be legal widely; plus people think the “War on drugs” is real when it is anything but.
I hope you find relief, and answers, I know how frustrating chronic illness is and can be. Don’t be too hard on yourself and keep relying on your Magick and your words to get you through; they will never let you down.
In light, in dark and in shadows,
I remember reading this but can’t remember if I replied to you about this comment properly. I think I may have? But can’t find it on the WordPress app on here?
Just though I’d tell you that it’s been hard for me to write any new blogs lately. I’ve only just edited my last one on Art, Emotions – Shadow Work which I wrote months ago last year. I just fixed up a lot of typos and added quite a few more thoughts to it not long ago.
End of last year was unproductive due to suffering from massive pain. Which ended up with me having to focus on healing for the last 7 weeks from a total hip replacement in late January 2018 on my right hip.
Believe me it’s the biggest surgical and physical challenge that I’ve ever had in my entire life. It made my hysterectomy surgery seem really easy in comparison. I’m seriously not kidding about this fact.
Getting up and learning to walk again and being helpless for so long in hospital and rehab was just terrible. But I had no choice as my Hip was totally eaten away.
I’m getting better gradually with regular physio and hydro but still can’t walk alone properly just yet. It’s impacted my life in every way even sleeping through the night has become a rare occurrence now.
However I’m getting there but its been a huge lesson that’s for sure.😀
I read your latest blog today and really loved it.❤️❤️❤️Especially as I too keep an Ancestral altar all year round. My ancestors mean everything to me too!!!⭐️⭐️⭐️
BTW The older I get I tend to see the LHP as far more responsible and realistic than most others too. Like you rightly say it’s a “philosophy” more than anything IMHO. I say that after having studied a lot of Hinduism, Tantra and nearly converted to Tibetan Buddhism back in the 1990s. So I really hear you on that issue Sister!
Anyway I’ll end this here as I’ve already written you quite a substantial comment about your great new blog. Congratulations!😍😍😍
I really need to get into a regular writing schedule somehow instead of having drafts all over the place. Plus going through such traumatic and painful surgery which has flared up my autoimmune problems too, which has been really tough.
I plan to write about it soon but find it hard to really open up. There is so much I have learnt in the last few months that it’s really hard to put into words in a way that most other people can understand.
When I finally post a new blog, I would really appreciate your honest opinion about it? If that’s is ok with you at the time.
It must be awesome to live in the big city!!! Whereas we live in a very quiet picturesque coastal rural touristy town that only gets busy in the holiday seasons. On the opposite sides of the world too.
Your blog is always awesome IMHO! Keep up the great work! You are truly incredible.
Blessed Be & Namaste🙏🏻
Hi there Jaclyn,
Thanks for all your advice and I do need to get into the habit of writing at least 2000 words a day. I am an avid reader so that’s not an issue. I’m always being told that I spend all my money on books. Lol Whether they are witchcraft, Occult books or various fiction from fantasy to criminal etc. Many are actual real books but to save many quite a few are on kindle or PDF files.
Finding your blog and reading your words means more to me than you probably realise. I used to sometimes think that I was the only one that felt the way I did about losing my uterus? But now I realise that I’m not the only one. Maybe it’s something I should write about too especially from a Midfle Aged Witch’s perspective apart from a woman’s. I never got to mourn my uterus the same as I never got to mourn the loss of my career, broken marriages, my deceased beloved fiancé and my own poor health. BTW amongst other things I have HRT patches, Thyroid tablets as well as Fentanyl patches, lyrica and far too much more.
Your also so right about the “War on Drugs” it’s a total joke isn’t it! Yet supposedly cannabis is legal here in Australia. But get this there is no legal supplier, all of the Drs don’t have any guidelines for prescribing nor know where or whom to get it from. The only people whom can get it yet still have to fight for it are those using cannabis oil to stop a disease where children can have over 100 fits a day. Apart from them nobody else can get it, it’s a ridiculous situation that our behind Government have not prepared for, nor do they care. It makes me feel like crying and just giving up!
Maybe we should collaborate? As I’ve got so many notes and ideas not only about this? But so many different types of magickal working and pathways and how they’ve affected me. Amongst 101 other topics. Lol I’m sure that you know the feeling right!
My biggest problem as I’ve already said is editing. Along with the discipline of writing every day. I also feel like Im being left behind by technology as quite often I’m very unsure of what to use, how, why and when? Lol I also have no idea how to get published not even for a magazine article. Some people have told me that I have a lot of valuable things to contribute and I do. Yet I no longer fit into a 9-5 world anymore. Lol
Seriously though you and I have so many things in common apart from losing a uterus and writing. I too have ME/CFS, FM, chronic arthritis in far too many places, CRPS, DDD, asthma as well as multiple other individual organ autoimmune disorders far too many to want to bore people with on here. Lol I’ve got so many old injuries from being a passenger in a dreadful drunken driver hitting my car that nearly killed me at only 18 1/2. So that’s affected 6 facet joints (discs) in my cervical spine, As well as 4 lumbar facet joints (discs) from a restraint at work too.
At work I was injured badly in one knee and my lumbar spine as well as another car accident. Due to severe weather conditions my car rolled over twice in 1997 which nearly killed me and my youngest child, A juvenile offender I was working with was hallucinating on Meth and held me hostage for quite awhile with a homemade shank held at my throat. Until after me talking him down all alone to finally let me go instead of killing me. I’ve had to cut down a young lad from trying to hang himself. We then commenced CPR and he survived. Yet when he got out of hospital he wanted to kill me for saving his life which was really scary. I’ve been on shift for huge riots like seen on TV, drug busts, assaults and even worse.
I’ve survived all these things and way too much more to divulge it all on here. Not because I don’t trust you Jaclyn and I’m sure the people that follow you are all really great too. It’s the unknown of the Internet that worries me? Yet after many of these things happened my body healed fairly rapidly in a month or two. That was back in my 30s. I just went back to work, looking after my children and living my very busy often double shifts life. Sometimes I worked 18 hours straight I’m not kidding with only 8 hours between shifts,
But now that I’m middle aged all these old injuries have come back to haunt me big time. I’ve had numerous spinal procedures, knee operations, other organs removed from my body and another repaired after a negligent surgeon nearly killed me. If not for being done in a big hospital where there was the appropriate specialist Dr there, whom was paged within 5 minutes and straight to the operating theatre. If not for this brilliant man, I would’ve bled out and it would’ve been curtains for me. I owe that Dr. my life itself. I know it sounds dramatic but unfortunately that is the truth of the matter.
All of this as well as losing my then partner/fiancé to suicide using a 303 rifle in Australia where this is pretty much unheard of due to our strict gun laws, I went to work like the strong woman that I was/still am. Throwing myself deeply into my career as well as mothering and looking after my children etc. Without going into too much detail something had to give? In the end it was literally me and my psyche gone….that’s what had to give!
Hey what does it matter many people may think? Well it does because it happens to far too many people especially women. In the end it was me with my successful, career, being a single Mum to my two beautiful daughters in our nice home which I bought myself without any man’s help. But after my fiancé was dead before he had properly moved in with me. He was a ghost literally and that’s a whole other weird crazy haunting true story.
I really should write about it too as it’s an experience that nearly cost me my sanity. I had been brought up not to show my feelings but to hide them behind a fake smile, I was very good at doing that especially as an exactress back in the 80s. For my role in the mid 90s I could easily have won an academy award. How I pulled it all off when I look back, I have no idea? Lol
I ended up going into a Private Psychiatric hospital voluntarily to help myself. However I ended up being abused by the one man that I trusted at that time my “treating psychiatrist”. My psychotherapist this much older man whom held my psyche, dreams, future life and healing literally within his hands. Yet he abused that privilege without a care about me or the Drs so called “Hippocratic Oath” either. My Dr. had impeccable qualifications and was quite the gentleman wearing suits by Calvin Klein. With mannerisms and a voice similar to Sean Connery when he played James Bond 007.
However just my luck as this top psychiatrist was corrupt through and through. That I’d been referred to in all good faith. My treating psychiatrist had abused many, many young women long before me and abused more for quite a few years afterwards even in England. If only I had known? My whole life may be quite different right now.
I was rising up the career ladder in a male dominated field. I just had a knack for it that most of my male colleagues didn’t. I was just about to shatter the infamous “glass ceiling” that all women 30+ were encouraged to do so much if possible back then. I nearly did it…..but alas it was not meant to be for me. It should have been and nearly was. But after my break after another few years of trying I just couldn’t do it anymore because then my physical health went on me too at that time.
Anyway this is not about the loss of “my brilliant career” and believe me it really was at that time! That’s the only reason I’m not living the dreams which I’d planned Back then. But that’s ok because I’m living different ones now! They’ve been altered tragically and dramatically that sometimes seem more like a weird sort of movie, no that’s not long enough, a series of some kind perhaps? Where the heroine was led down the wrong track whilst the protagonist continued to control and ruin her from within.
I’ve only ever been able to write three blogs about being sexually abused by my psychiatrist as an inpatient. He didn’t just do it once he did it over and over using very strong psychiatric drugs such as rohypnol. The well known old “date rape” drug back then. He was so machievellian that he used certain sex practices such as a certain old psychiatrist known for Orgone energy did. I’m not kidding and truly wish that I was.
I even kept on being abused as an outpatient by him yet again. From using psychiatric drugs which he got me terribly addicted to. He should have gone to jail but didn’t. I just haven’t been able write all about that part at all but I really want to because he never got the justice that he deserved ever…….!
I thank you very much for giving your opinion on my WordPress blog and thank you for that very much. However if you have the time it would be awesome if a writer like yourself that’s into women’s issues & Magick could read my only “3 blogs on my blogspot psychiatric blog”? Its all about psychiatric abuse both sexual and using psychoactive drugs. They were used to control me in a way that mostly only psychiatrists or psychologists understand. I hope it’s ok to write the link here? If not please just delete it as it’s really meant for you anyway Jaclyn. Just in case others read it, I’ve added the warning below.
**THIS BLOG HAS GRAPHIC 18+ SEXUAL & DRUG ABUSE. IF YOUR FEELING FRAGILE? PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS MATERIAL & SEEK SOME HELP A.S.A,P.** With a Medical Practitioner.
The link is:http://psychiatrydrugsandabuse.blogspot.com.au
It’s not quite as bad as it sounds but I feel that I have to do this just in case? I would really like your opinion about these three blogs so far? The reason why is that some people think that read it sometimes contact me. Asking why don’t I write more? Why don’t an write a book? Etctera etc?
I probably should write a book or a screenplay about my experiences. There is way more to the saga sadly but I’ve only ever written these 3 very raw blogs a few years back. An excellent psychotherapist that I was seeing then recommended that I write not only for cathartic reasons. But because it was far easier for me to write about some of the horrors that I had exeprienced. Rather than tell him about it face to face.
I thank you very much for checking out my WordPress blog about witchcraft, the occult & entheogens etc. As unfortunately where we live I still can’t legally get the help that many like myself need for chronic pain. Your writing about all of that has really meant so much to me. I do have a lot more to share about that but because our laws here on entheogens are still so draconian. So a person has to be somewhat sensible about what they can share.
I was just wondering what your opinion is on my psychiatric abuse blog? Especially as I am a total advocate “For stopping Sexual & Drug Abuse Within Psychiatry” as tragically it is far too common. By the time I finally reported it he had started on another young women even younger and theres more to it than that even.
I don’t know whether it’s worth the time and pain to keep on trying to wrie it all again? However if you think that it is worth pursuing it as in an actual book? I will pursue it but could do with some idea of whom to approach with a controversial book like this could be. I have no idea how to attract publishers? How to write a manuscript etc? The reason Im asking you is because I know from your writing that your a true women’s advocate in so many ways. As well as being so wise well beyond your years.
Wow I’d better stop now as my comment has become as long as a blog post. Lol
Thanks again for all your help and inspiration so far. Hope that I haven’t overstepped the mark? If so just please email me and let me know ok.
Like you advised above. Tonight I’m relying on my magick to get me through,
As without nature and magick in life,
There is just darkness and light.
We all just want to live our truths
Without any fear, malice or fright.
Blessed Be to all us Witches,
We are all daughters,
We are mothers & sisters,
Of “La LuNa NyX Night”
Blessed Be & Namaste,