WILD WOMAN WAR CRIES: Howl for Humanity

Ivy

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“Be wild; that is how to clear the river. The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life. It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one’s mouth. Then the river will flow, then we can stand in the stream of it raining down.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estés

For the past decade, peaking in the last 3-4 years, there has been an uprising of the Wild Woman Archetype; people are waking up to their true nature and they are honoring that place within themselves by letting their wild run free.

What is it about this Wild Woman that gives us all the permission to be ourselves?

What is it about her that resonates with so many people, across so many cultures?

Why are we hearing her calls now?

Her howls echo and dance through the night like a serpent coiling its body through the Earth’s crevices.

The Wild Woman lives within us all, not just those of us who are or identify as Women; the Wild Woman is the voice deep inside of us that refuses to be silenced, or tamed.

She is the rumbling thunder in our chest, the fire burning in our Soul; she is the voice of reason and intuition, our connection to Mother.

Wild Woman, howl for me so that I may follow your voice back home.

If the past couple years have not proved to you that we are in midst of chaos, and mass change then you are not paying close enough attention.

Recent years have kicked our ass, and taken names.

I applaud the Universe for its ruthless approach; Kali would stand in glory at the destruction that’s leading to rebirth and change.

Years like these are catalysts for change within ourselves and the collective.

If you have not witnessed this change, if you have not felt this change within you then you should move out of the way because a wave of angry, awakened people is coming and we are going to be the ones kicking ass and taking names.

Illusions are being destroyed, divisive lies are becoming evident, false narratives are being blasted with truth and those of us aware enough to feel this shift are craving a simpler way of life; a re-wilding of sorts.

 

Earthing

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We are craving the dirt in our hands and Earth beneath our bare feet; we are craving the oceans, lakes and streams washing over our bodies—cleansing, purifying, baptizing us.

We crave to live like the Wild Woman; to heal our bodies and listen to the wisdom in our blood.

We crave to stand unapologetically in our power against a system that wishes to erase and belittle us.

We crave freedom.

We crave redemption.

We crave justice.

I first heard the Wild Woman’s call when a book was suggested and that book forever changed my life; Women Who Run with Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés became a bible for me.

The text was like a holy scripture of fire and I was in desperate need; that fire was the spark that ignited my flame.

Reading page after page became cathartic; it was like a voice from beyond reminding me who I am, and what I am capable of.

Our society is structured in a way that it oppresses certain groups of people, and if you happen to be in one of those marginalized groups, you forget who you are; they make sure you do.

It reminds me of how circus animals, or other show animals are broken so they “obey their master”. But, if you look closely even in the most desperate of cases and saddest of eyes, you can still see the wild glowing inside.

Wolf 3

That’s exactly how we are, and that’s exactly what’s happening.

The re-wilding has hit so many people that it is now effecting the collective and there is no way to stop it.

If I had to compare what I am seeing and feeling spiritually to something scientific, I would say this is like herd immunity: “general immunity to a pathogen in a population based on the acquired immunity to it by a high proportion of members over time.”

Except the pathogen we are becoming immune to is bullshit.

We will not be tamed, lied to, categorized, divided or beaten in to submission.

After such a long stretch in the darkness with seemingly no hope in sight for humanity, it is amazing to see the waves of enlightenment and illumination taking over.

We hit rock bottom and now Wild Woman is going to bring us home; back to a place we are meant to be, a place where we can run wild and free.

No master, no slave.

Wild Woman, howl for me.

MUSINGS OF A MODERN MYSTIC: The Fat Witch

Fat Witch

Artist: Kyra Wolff

 

“Fat-bashing in all its varied forms–criticism, exclusion, shaming, fat talk, self-deprecation, jokes, gossip, bullying–is one of the last acceptable forms of prejudice. From a very young age, before they can walk away or defend themselves, Women are taught that they are how they look, not what they do or what they know.”

Robyn Silverman

Within the Craft I often see areas where social issues intersect with our community issues, and body shaming is one of the main intersections I see, and cross.

“Isn’t there a Spell for weight loss?”

“Why are Witches always fat girls?”

“Angry Feminists are created because they are FAT and Men don’t want FAT Women, so they turn to Feminism.”

I have not only seen these statements made to others, they’ve been made to me, too.

I faced similar scrutiny when I was skinny which only proves that people will have their opinions regardless.

The number one insult many people resort to when berating or degrading, particularly Women, is to attack their weight; second to that is attacking their looks.

It’s childish.

It’s elementary.

It’s usually baseless.

But, it fucking hurts.

Even the most confident person can be affected by the piercing words and hate of another.

I am not a skinny Woman and have never hid that fact; if you have been reading my stuff since the beginning then you know the health issues I have been through.

The thing that gets me the most when it comes to society and, brace yourselves, I’m going to say it, FAT PEOPLE, is that society attached HUGE (no pun intended) stigmas to weight.

There’s this idea that if someone is fat they are automatically unhealthy; yes, I know the health risks of excess fat on the human body.

BUT, being overweight doesn’t mean the person sits on the couch eating chips and sweets all day long or does not put forth effort to become healthy.

For me, it’s a culmination of having 7 abdominal surgeries in 4 years all due to female health issues: PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), Endometriosis, Uterine Fibroid, and Cervical Cancer.

The final surgery that pushed my body over the edge was a full hysterectomy at 27.

A hysterectomy is shocking to the system at any age, but at the age of 27 it’s A LOT to handle, and being thrust into menopause is no easy task, either. Menopause comes with its own set of issues, and even though I am on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) to get back the estrogen my body no longer produces, I am still faced with the reality of menopausal symptoms and potential complications (bone loss, higher risk of heart disease, weight gain, etc.).

When I had the hysterectomy, my body lost its proverbial mind and sent my thyroid out of whack (I have since been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s) and other auto immune diseases started to pop up.

So, yes, while I am not in optimal health, it’s not because I eat unhealthy or do not exercise; it’s because my body has been through SO MUCH TRAUMA.

I have been through so much trauma.

People don’t see the effort, or the health issues when they see me, or others shaped like me, they just see a fat girl (or person).

I keep saying fat people, and fat on purpose; they are used as insults, and we need to start taking some of that power back.

The F word makes everyone uncomfortable, and for that reason alone, it should be shouted from the mountain tops.

Fat.

Fat.

Fat.

All three F words might be too much: Fuck. Feminist. Fat.
*gasp*

Like I said above, the word HURTS when used against us—equally by ourselves, and others; that is why we need to start breaking down some of that negative energy.

I am not in any way condoning a “Fat lifestyle” and by that, I mean not taking care of yourself because of (for example) untreated depression, or other health issues that you refuse to face.

It also means that you are responsible for the food you put in your mouth, and the amount of activity you have throughout your day.

Me? I eat a balanced diet, I watch sugar and carb intake, I practice 2 styles of Yoga, I meditate, I have made water my friend. I hike throughout the spring, summer and fall. I am not pre-diabetic, I do not have high cholesterol, I do not have heart issues, or any major joint stress (Arthritis in my hips is not from the weight, though the excess weight doesn’t help. But, Yoga does!).

I do have, at times, borderline high blood pressure but that’s because I am a ball of anxiety.

I mean, it’s to be expected.

Because ANXIETY.

A foundation of Magick is in the art of loving ourselves, for we are the root of our Power.

How can we love ourselves if we simultaneously hate ourselves? When we hate our bodies? When we allow the opinions of others to be taken on as our truth?

If you are fat and unhappy PUT FORTH THE WORK TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

If you are fat and happy, then live your life!

Again, I’m not suggesting it’s healthy to be fat but it’s a complex, layered issue and one that is between each individual person and their healthcare provider.

Personally, I have put in the effort, and continue to do so, but it’s like I have hit a plateau; my body is the way it is.

Surgery is traumatic.

Illness is traumatic.

The point of this blog is not to grant permission for being fat, or unhealthy, I do not intend to enable anyone, either; it’s to bring forth and start the conversation.

EVERYONE has a story they write and a battle they fight every single day.

What we see on the outside, while an indicator of internal and environmental well-being, is only a fraction of who and what people are.

Don’t be so quick to judge, you might miss out on an amazing Soul because their weight, or other external factors, made you uncomfortable.

Maybe you need that discomfort.

LESSONS FROM OUR WOMB: Menstruation, Menopause and Magick

Bath

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“Something inside her was made of moonflowers.”

Rune Lazuli

Women are amazing creatures (all people are but this is for my ladies).

Our bodies can bring life into being—that’s beyond profound.

Our lips cast spells of honey, healing words and hexes when you threaten what is ours; our hips are built to birth babies; our breasts are meant to feed our young and a comforting landing zone for their tired, sad heads when the world tries to tear them down; we are everything nature is.

Creative. Destructive. Powerful. Weak. Compassionate. Cruel. Beautiful. Ugly. Forgiving. Merciless.

We are a mix of wonderful paradoxes and Divine chaos.

For me, Witches epitomize what it means to be a Woman; in our society being a Woman automatically makes you inferior in many people’s eyes but when you are a Witch, you take back a lot of your power without even knowing it.

You see, the world hates strong Women.

So, yeah, we are more likely to be targeted by the weak and ignorant minded on a smaller scale but in the grand scheme we are generally left alone because there is no force as strong as a Woman who has stepped into her power. Many will choose to avoid us altogether rather than face us head on.

Of course, I am not suggesting that the *only* strong Women to exist are Witches, but I am saying that Women who are Witches are the strongest I know.

Women and the Moon have been connected since the beginning of time; it was the Moon who helped the first Women map their menses, and their Magick.

We are created to be cyclical; just like the ocean has an ebb and flow, so do we and just like the ocean, it is the Moon who rules ours.

Blood Moon

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When I first started on the path I kind of just jumped right in and for me the Feminine aspect of myself, my Magick, and my Craft was not of huge importance; I just wanted knowledge.

When I began to evolve on my path I reached a point where I had to open the door to my Femininity, my Womanly essence; I had to find the root of my pain, and the root of my power so that I could tap into both; use one to heal the other.

So, I went searching.

If you have ever looked-for articles, books, or blogs written about Witches, the Moon and Menses, you will see that the search results are endless; literally, it’s an endless list of search results.

Sounds great, right?

Well, not really.

All these articles talked about us connecting to our Wombs, how important our menstrual blood is, and how we should map our PMS with our Magick, and emotions, which is all true.

But, what about those of us Women who are Witches that don’t have a womb?

The ones who don’t bleed?

Where are we represented, not even that but where are we to look for answers about our bodies and how they relate to and reflect Mother back upon us when everything we read is telling us we are not fully a Woman because we have a womb space, instead of an actual womb?

I had a full hysterectomy as many of you know—I write about it all the time because I want people to understand my story.

There are Sisters who are Transgender, and thus biologically they cannot bleed. I believe that Transgender Women have a womb space that is like a collective consciousness; I have a womb space that is a void of sorts, a place where my womb once stood, residual power that can still be tapped into; then there are Women fully in-tact with their womb in place.

Womb or not, we are all powerful creatures.

We are all deserving of our Magick.

We are all beautiful definitions of the Divine Feminine.

There are Women who are post-menopausal, which usually happens in our Crone years but can in a lot of cases happen sooner—known as Early Onset, or Premature Menopause.

Drawing from Crone power and wisdom, along with feeling a disconnect from my womb were huge hurdles for me to overcome.

I eventually accepted that my Magick took a turn towards the Crone’s wisdom and grayness once I hit menopause because that is what I needed at that time, which helps validate my “we are cyclical” theory.

It also led me to the lesson that I believe we can tap into Maiden, Mother and Crone energy throughout our entire lives; for me they are not just age ranges, they are feelings, thoughts, emotions, learning experiences, etc.

What life requires from us is what energy we will and should draw from.

Menstruation has long been thought of as gross, taboo and something that shouldn’t be discussed; as a Women’s Rights Activist, Feminist and someone who promotes Wild Woman Spirituality, it makes my heart sing that we are beginning to break down the barriers of misunderstanding and blood that have divided us for too long.

Our bleeding is necessary for life.

That is the furthest from “gross” I can think of.

Red Rose

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But, while we are breaking down barriers and progressively moving forward it’s important to understand that our community is not one size fits all; we do not all fit into one box and there should be representations, and voices that everyone can relate to.

I know what it means to bleed, have it taken away, not bleed, and then be thrust into menopause, at 27 mind you.

The entire experience has made me a stronger person, a better Witch and a more compassionate Woman.

We are amazing, cyclical creatures that are guided by the Moon; our menses and madness follow it’s phases.

Blessed Are the Witches.

The Matriarch: Mary Magdalene

Gianluca

Image: Gianaluca Palma

“The church seemed doomed to failure, destined to go down to bloody death amidst the bleeding corpses of its victims, when the people discovered Mary. And only when Mary, against the stern decrees of the church, was dug out of the oblivion to which Constantine had assigned her and became identified with the Great Goddess was Christianity finally tolerated by the people.”

Elizabeth Gould Davis, The First Sex


I had an idea to write a post about Mary Magdalene a few days ago, I don’t know why but I was drawn to do it, only to decide against it in the end. I feel like I am not educated enough about her to even begin to tell her story, I do know that what little information is written in the Bible is not correct, shocker.

So, I have set out on a quest to find her story, while in the midst of my quest I found the quote above on a friend’s page, and it was yet another sign for me to journey down this road, for whatever reason.

This is not my original work, but this is a really good read full of great information about a version of the Goddess that is far too often forgotten. The Women in the Bible ARE aspects of us, aspects of the Great Mother and they are oppressed, hidden, and mocked just like rest of us. Their stories were twisted, or negated all together, left to one sentence such as Dinah, daughter of Jacob; her and her Mother’s would worship Inanna in the red tent, which was destroyed when the man became threatened by the Woman’s independence. I ask that you keep an open mind, and do not allow any Christian perspective, or hatred towards Christianity in general, blind your view of this aspect of the Divine Feminine.

Knowledge truly is power.

Legend:

“Mary Magdalene was of the district of Magdala, on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, where stood her families castle, called Magdalon; she was the sister of Lazarus and of Martha, and they were the children of parents reputed noble, or, as some say, royal descendants of the House of David. On the death of their father, Syrus, they inherited vast riches and possessions in land, which were equally divided between them.

Lazarus betook himself to the military life; Martha ruled her possessions with great discretion, and was a model of virtue and propriety, -perhaps a little too much addicted to worldly cares; Mary, on the contrary, abandoned herself to luxurious pleasures and became at length so notorious for her extravagant lifestyle that she was known through all the country round only as ‘The Sinner.’

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

Sinners were people devoted to the moon-god, Sin. Moses spent 38 of 40 years in the Wilderness of Sin, the land where the god, Sin, was worshipped. Sinai is the feminine form of Sin; therefore, Mount Sinai can be called “the mountain of the goddess,” feminine counterpart of Sin. “Mary Magdalene” represented the Great-Goddess-Mother-Queen, wife of “Jesus.” Historically, she can be found in several prominent Roman families: She was the daughter of Juba II, the King of Mauretania and wife, Queen Cleopatra Selene (daughter of Antony and Cleopatra). She was also known as Agrippina the Elder; her sister was Julia the Younger and her step-brother was Drusus Germanicus, the secret younger son of Emperor Tiberius. She was known as Livilla, mother of twins whose grandfather was Emperor Tiberius. And, she can be found disguised as a man: Philo of Alexandria and Emperor Claudius’ powerful freedman Pallas.

Legend

“Mary’s discreet sister, Martha, frequently rebuked her for these disorders and at length persuaded her to listen to the exhortations of Jesus, through which her heart was touched and converted. The seven demons which possessed her, and which were expelled by Jesus, were the seven deadly sins common to us all. The struggles of these seven principal faults are; first, Gluttony or the pleasures of the palate; secondly, Fornication; thirdly, Covetousness, which means Avarice, or, the love of money, fourthly, Anger; fifthly, Dejection; sixthly, “Accidie,” which is the sin of spiritual sloth or sluggishness; and seventhly, kenodocila which means ego, foolish pride or vain glory.

On one occasion Martha entertained the Savior in her house, and, being anxious to feast him worthily, she was  ‘cumbered with much serving.’ Mary, meanwhile, sat at the feet of Jesus, and heard his words, which completed the good work of her conversion; and when, sometime afterwards, be supped in the house of Simon the Pharisee, she followed him thither and she brought an alabaster box of ointment and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with ointment – and He said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven’.

Fact

“The word translated as “demons” can be, and is, translated as “Angels” in other biblical verses. Seven in Hebrew is Shabbat. Shabbat Hamalka represented the feminine side of Yahweh – his consort, and she is of extremely ancient origin. Sometimes called Asherah, Shekhina, etc., this goddess is a combination of Queen, Bride, and Goddess.

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

The referenced “anointing scene” harkens to the Old Testament, Song of Solomon. King Solomon and his “Sister-Bride” sing a love song as they profess their everlasting love. Many myths of “gods and goddesses” describe them as “Sister-Bride, Brother-Groom.” The king of Libya, Juba II, first married Cleopatra Selene, daughter of Antony and Cleopatra. However, he married a second time: his second wife was Glaphyra, widow of Alexander III, son of Herod the Great and Jewish princess, the Hasmonean Mariamme. With that marriage, Juba’s children with Selene and Glaphyra’s children with Alexander became “Brothers and Sisters.” When Juba’s eldest daughter married Glaphyra’s eldest son, they became, “Sister-Bride, Brother-Groom.

Legend

“Tradition relates that after the Crucifixion, Mary traveled to Italy, met with the Emperor Tiberias (14-37 AD) and proclaimed to him about Christ’s Resurrection. According to tradition, she took him an egg as a symbol of the Resurrection, a symbol of new life with the words: “Christ is Risen!” Then she told Tiberias that, in his Province of Judea, Jesus the Nazarene, a holy man, a maker of miracles, powerful before God and all mankind, was executed on the instigation of the Jewish High-Priests and the sentence affirmed by the procurator Pontius Pilate. Tiberias responded that no one could rise from the dead, any more than the egg she held could turn red. Miraculously, the egg immediately began to turn red as testimony to her words. Then, and by her urging, Tiberias had Pilate removed from Jerusalem to Gaul, where he later suffered a horrible sickness and an agonizing death.

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

“After the “Passover-Passion Pageant,” designed to merge the Jewish “Messiah” with the Greco-Roman and Egyptian “Dying-and-Resurrected Savior” (Dionysus, Osiris, Serapis, etc.), the woman who played the role of “Mary Magdalene” accompanied her husband, the man who portrayed “Jesus,” to Alexandria, Egypt. “Jesus” became the Alabarch of Alexandria; “Mary Magdalene” assumed one of the names carried by her famous grandmother, Cleopatra Thea Philo Pater (wife of Marc Antony), which were probably the names she also carried. Using the name, Philo, and claiming to be a man, “Mary Magdalene” became famous as the philosopher and chief proponent of merging of Judaism with Greek Philosophy. She also promoted the allegorical interpretation of scripture, the only method by which their story could be told.”

Legend

“Suggestions of commentators and legend continues Mary’s story. Fourteen years after the ascension, Lazarus with his two sisters, Martha and Mary; with Maximin, one of the seventy-two disciples, from whom they had received baptism; Cedon, the blind man whom our Savior had restored to sight; and Marcella, the handmaiden who attended on the two sisters, were by the Jews set adrift in a vessel without sails, oars, or rudder; but, guided by Providence, they were safely borne over the sea till they landed in a certain harbor which proved to be Marseilles, in the country now called France.

The people of the land were pagans, and refused to give the holy pilgrims food or shelter; so they were fain to take refuge under the porch of a temple and Mary Magdalene preached to the people, reproaching them for their senseless worship of idols; and though at first they would not listen, yet being after a time convinced by her eloquence, and by the miracles performed by her and by her sister, they were converted and baptized. And Lazarus became, after the death of the good Maximin, the first bishop of Marseilles.

These things being accomplished, Mary Magdalene retired to the cliffs not far from the city. It was a frightful barren wilderness and in the midst of horrid rocks she lived in the caves of Sainte-Baume; there for thirty years she devoted herself to solitary penance for the sins of her past life, which she had never ceased to bewail bitterly. During this long seclusion, she was never seen or heard of, and it was supposed that she was dead.

Mary fasted so rigorously, that but for the occasional visits of the angels, and the comfort bestowed by Celestial visions, she might have perished. She was given the Holy Eucharist by angels as her only food. Every day during the last years of her penance, the angels came down from heaven and carried her up in their arms into regions where she was ravished by the sounds of unearthly harmony, and beheld the glory and the joy prepared for the sinner that repenteth.

One day a certain hermit, who dwelt in a cell on one of those wild mountains, having wandered farther than usual from his home, beheld this wondrous vision-the Magdalene in the arms of ascending angels, who were singing songs of triumph as they bore her upwards; and the hermit, when he had a little recovered from his amazement, returned to the city of Marseilles, and reported what he had seen.

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

“Mary Magdalene” spent the remainder of her life in various locations including: Alexandria, Rome, Emesa, and Greece using a variety of aliases. Inscriptions in Athens, dedicated to “Juba’s Daughter,” were in recognition of all she did for the Roman Empire as the Freedman, Pallas. A tongue-in-cheek letter written by Pliny the Younger to his friend Montanus enumerates some of her many accomplishments.”

Legend

“According to Church tradition, Mary Magdalene remained in Rome until the arrival of the Apostle Paul, and for two more years still, following his departure from Rome after the first court judgment upon him.

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

“Paul was never an “apostle” but remained the arch-enemy of Jesus and all he attempted to teach and to do. “Jesus” and “Mary Magdalene,” using the aliases Narcissus and Pallas lived in Rome from 41 until 54. They filled powerful positions under Emperor Claudius and were responsible for the many innovations that improved the lives of Roman citizens, including the poorest and most vulnerable. Both their sons served as “Procurator of Judea.” (One from 46 to 48; the other from 51 to 60.)

Legend

“From Rome, Mary Magdalene, moved to Ephesus where she unceasingly labored the holy Apostle John, who with her wrote the first 20 Chapters of his Gospel (John 1-9, John 10-20). There the saint finished her earthly life and was buried. Mary was transported miraculously, just before she died, to the chapel of St. Maximin, where she received the last sacraments. She died when she was 72.”

Allegorical interpretation of scripture:

“Mary Magdalene” and “Jesus” traveled to Ephesus and may have lived there when she wrote “The Gospel of John.”

However, her work was “over-written” by a later author who called himself “John” and corrupted much of her original work. “Mary Magdalene” was also known as “Io Anna,” the feminine form of “John.” Io and Anna are both names of goddesses. She died in 74 CE at the age of 84, just as Luke reported (Luke 2:36-7). She was using the alias “Caenis” and purported to be Vespasian’s “mistress.” She was, in fact, his co-ruler and his aunt. Vespasian was her sister’s son.”

Legend

“In 899 the Emperor Leo VI transported her alleged relics to a monastery in Constantinople. It was not until the tenth century that devotion to Mary Magdalene, the composite saint, took root in the west.”

Philo’s Enigmatic Interpretation of Ancient Texts

“Mary Magdalene” may have been buried in her family’s mausoleum in Mauretania as the inscribed “Roman Woman.” The mausoleum is called, “the tomb of the Christian woman,” which can also be translated as, “the tomb of the Feminine Christ.”

She has been forced to remain silent for too long, misrepresented, and it is time that we become her voice and allow her story to be told through us.

Source: http://www.thenazareneway.com/life_of_st_mary_magdalene.htm

A Daughter of Baba Yaga

Baba Yaga

Image: Vania Zouravliov

“The Crone, the Reaper, She is the Dark Moon, what you don’t see coming at you, what you don’t get away with the wind that whips the spark across the fire line. Chance, you could say, or, what’s scarier still: the intersection of chance with choices and actions made before. The brush that is tinder dry from decades of drought, the warming of the earth’s climate that sends the storms away north, the hole in the ozone layer. Not punishment, not even justice, but consequence.”

Starhawk


An innocent moment, with what appeared to be an innocent vision, has completely shifted my path and my current way of thinking. It’s funny how the Universe works like that, one moment you feel stuck, stagnant, trapped, and the next you are given your freedom, you have received your answers. I am no stranger to occurrences like this but the timing is what has me reflecting back on the last two weeks, and realizing that everything really is all relative.

My life appeared to be random happening, after random happening and there was no rhyme or reason to my emotions, thought process, or decision making. I was flying by the seat of my pants, which for a controlling, OCD Cancer like myself, this is something that we just don’t do. I thought that I was suffocating because of my relationship/friendships, or maybe my living situation. I knew that something was off, that something was wrong, and no matter how much I cut out of my life, or how much meditating I did, the feeling always crept back in.

It started two weeks ago on a Sunday night, and I did not write about this experience because I don’t know much, if anything about the deity, and it is my belief that I need to be somewhat educated on a topic before I decide to write about it. I say now that I do not know much about this most beautiful darkness that came to me, I just know that She is here, and She is making Her presence known in every way possible. I am filled with the utmost humility that this Crone has chosen me as one of Her daughters, and I readily and willingly accept Her, and the wisdom she wishes bestow upon me.

This Sunday evening was like every other night, but I was under a lot of emotional stress and at the peak of my madness, I had not been this dark in years. All I seemed to be doing was eating, really rich foods, and craving solitude. I immediately thought I was going through depression, but that soon proved to not be the case. I was still taking care of myself; showering daily, keeping up with household chores, meditating, and all the usual activities I partake in.

I was just really, really dark.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I felt like something, everything and nothing were wrong with my life. I was in a chaotic downward spiral, and I couldn’t see where it was coming from. There were no attachments, no attacks, no breaks in my shield, this “attack” was being allowed, and I was the one allowing it.

As I drifted off to sleep I quickly was pulled onto Astral, I remember taking note of the lack of visuals for a brief moment, there was nothing, no color, no smell, no feeling, no texture, it was a place of absolute stillness, absolute nothingness; no guides, no spirit animals, there was no one with me, just my naked body, with a dagger strapped to my left thigh, charms on my neck, and a satchel around my waist. I had the tattoos that I do now, along with some other symbols, they looked Slavic in nature. They were randomly placed on my body, and there was a thick black, dense, energy that was illuminating from them. It was like this blackness had a mind of its own, or maybe even a Master.

I landed in a thick wooded dark forest, and I quickly noticed that the ground was solid, and freezing cold, which would signify winter, but the forest itself was thick, and lush with greenery. I took a deep breath of the clean, crisp, fresh air, as I inhaled I realized there were no animals making noise; I heard nothing.

As quickly as I had this thought I heard branches breaking all around me, first loud, then soft, then loud, then soft again; it was as if I were being taunted, but also a message that this power is strong but not there to harm me.

I felt something at my feet and I looked down to see a snake that was red, black and white. She had coiled herself between my feet and slowly started making her way up my leg, tightening her grip as she got higher. I did not feel threatened by this beautiful serpent, but I knew that this was not a Daemon that I was familiar with, this was not Lucy, Mo, or any other energy that I am somewhat used to. As the snake got closer to my vagina, she entered inside me, and at that exact moment a freezing cold wind gust wrapped itself around me. I lost my balance and fell to the ground, as I picked my face up off the dirt, I noticed the bottom of a robe in front of me, and a cane; as my eyes made their way up the crooked cane, I saw wrinkled hands adorned with many rings gripping the wood.

I quickly asked, “Who are you?” and the response was, “I am the moon you were born under. I am the shadow. I am the Crone. I am the reason you are here.”

I demanded a name, and I was thrown to the ground and roots started to wrap around my body, pinning me to the ground. The cold wind picked back up, and as if the wind itself was speaking I heard the name, “Baba Yaga! I am Baba Yaga, She is Baba Yaga, We are Baba Yaga, child, child, child, child…”

I can still hear the chilling chant and echo in my head.

I woke up from this encounter sore from the roots, but each night since that one I am brought back to those same dark woods, and I sit speaking with this Divinely Dark Crone. It is in these travels that I have realized my sudden love for gardening, Earth, Woods, tinctures, herbs, spices, resin’s, and really Earthly oils, not to mention the rich foods; carbs, cheeses, fresh seasonal fruits and veggies, have all been because Baba Yaga has decided to come into my life. She is making her presence known to me, and the suffocating feeling I was experiencing was her trying to get my attention, and me blatantly ignoring the signs.

I have often struggled with the insecurity if I am “Witchy” enough, and the presence of this powerhouse in my life is telling me that I am Magick, I am Nature, and I am the definition of the Divine Feminine in one of her many depictions.

I am forever and always a Wild Woman, and Witch.

Who is Baba Yaga:

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Baba_Yaga

Sacred Blood

Larissa Morais

Image: Larissa Morais

“When she bleeds the smells I know change color. There is iron in her soul on those days. She smells like a gun.”

Jeanette Winterson

I promised myself that I would leave this subject alone, and that I would not add my two cents in, but as usual, I have broken that promise to myself. If you have been on social media the last few days then I am sure you have heard of Rupi Kaur, if you do not know her name, then you surely know her picture. She is the woman who posted a picture of herself in bed with a menstrual leak in her pants, and on her sheets. If you are a woman who has had her period, or a woman who is still active in her cycle, then I am sure this is not a new sight to your eyes. If you are unfamiliar with the story, Rupi is working on a photo project, a series of what it is to be a woman in this patriarchal society, she posted this candid image of herself in a vulnerable moment, and posted it to Instagram, and it was removed. This picture has caused a revolution of sorts, and an uproar on all social media platforms. It appears that we are very much split down the middle, and the two groups are those in support of, and those who think it is disgusting. You know what I think is disgusting? That women are the main culprit of this lack of understanding, and I have read thousands of comments over the last two days of Women saying that Miss Kaur should, “show some class”, “keep things private”, “we don’t have to share everything”, and my favorite, “is nothing sacred anymore?” As I rip my hair from my head, I want to scream, “MENSTRUAL BLOOD IS SACRED!!! YOU FUCKING FOOLS!”

I know at this point you are probably wondering why I am writing about this. My answer to that is that I write about injustices that I see, and I stick to no specific topic. I am going to give some Occult history, and actual historical information regarding menstrual blood and the Sacred spot it has held in every civilization. It seems that just like everything else that empowers the Woman, this too, has been swept under the rug. I find it funny that society objectifies the Woman every single day but the very thing that makes us Woman is to be hidden, frowned upon. This used to be a time that the Woman was celebrated.  I think it is time that the Divine Feminine states her claim; They must hear us roar. This was at no time supposed to be a patriarchal society, and I think it is time for a refresher course.

I was 27 when I had my hysterectomy, as I sit here at the young age of 30, I struggle with my “womanliness” almost every day. I see so many Women who have chosen not to have children and jokingly (some seriously) say that they want sterilization, or a hysterectomy; While I understand the thought process behind this, I mean who wants their period if they do not want children, I think this is a rash decision; But, I judge none, and to each their own. I think if a woman chooses that she wants to have these elective surgeries that is her right, but do you know how hard it is to find a doctor who will perform the procedure, if there is no health issue? I mean, do doctors give single men, with no children the same hassle that they give to single women with no children, when the male goes in for a vasectomy? If it were not for my underlying health issues, and I really only had heavy, heavy periods, would I have been denied the hysterectomy? My periods were so bad that I would have to stay in bed for days, I couldn’t work during it, and the flow was so heavy that I ruined more underwear, sheets, and pants than I could ever think to count.

Why am I being so honest you wonder? Because I think that having a period is a beautiful experience, and one that the Goddess herself has blessed humanity with. If it weren’t for our monthly bleeding, humans wouldn’t be able to create. Or does everyone forget about that? We can only love the Woman when she is submissive, and objectified? We cannot love the Woman if her belly is swollen from her period, and there is sacred blood seeping from her vagina? She isn’t sexy then? We can’t talk about those moments? Why? I say fuck it, and embrace who you are. Embrace those cramps, and that blood that stained your favorite pair of underwear, embrace your ability to create IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO. Embrace your inner Woman and everything that comes with Her. Embrace the chocolate cravings, mood swings, the late night trips to get tampons, and pads that are the size of your arm, the salt cravings to counteract the sweets, a good cry with a movie, and you guessed it, your Divine Blood.

Do not be ashamed of who you are, especially not on the account of someone else, and their level of comfort on the subject. I am going to give some history on menstrual blood, I will also give a link to an article talking about Rupi and her photo. I hope, if nothing else, this post brings you out of your comfort zone, only then can we see things for how they truly are.

“Women have been associated with the moon for longer than the human being has been human. Unlike early man, Woman could bleed in harmony with the cycles of the Moon, and not be harmed. When Women live together in close proximity, their cycles become coordinated; in natural light they tend to ovulate on or around the full Moon, and bleed on or around the waning or dark Moon. Furthermore, menstrual blood has very Magickal qualities: it attracts some animals and repels others; and it is an excellent fertilizer. Imagine the effect this had upon early man, who bled only with great danger or harm; and who survived on hunting and agriculture.”

“Menstruation is the most regular thing to happen to human beings. Herein lies the genuine power of menstruation, and what it has meant to human history. Menstruation and its connection to the regular movements of the moon, gave us time in large exact measurements and proportion. Without menstruation and the sciences of measurement Women developed from watching first the moon and then the stars, there would be no clocks or watches, no astronomers, no mathematicians or physicists, no astronauts, none of the architecture and engineering which have been born from exact measurement and proportion. We could build a nest, like a bird; but not a pyramid or rectangle or any other regular, geometric shape. Geometry was a gift of menstruation.”

“The oldest word for menstruation means “woman’s friend”. In some cultures, menstruation was originally called “tupua”, a Polynesian word meaning valuable, sacred, wonderful, Magickal; the word/concept “taboo” developed from it.”

“The days of menstruation were set apart from other days. In Babylonia, they were called “sabbatu” from which we get “Sabbat / Sabbath”. Repeated practices that Women developed in order to teach, confirm, and make social the powers of menstruation were called by words derived from “ritu” — at base, rituals and rites mean public menstrual practices.”

“The female genital, source of blood for the Magick of hunting and agriculture, source of keeping track of time, source of counting and measuring, source of geometry and babies and umbilical cords and the knowledge of tying, of connections; of flowering and fruiting and desiring — the female genital was worth-shipped, the female body was held valuable as a source and as a force; held valuable because of the sciences its mind produced and the wealth of culture that followed after.”

“So HOW did we get from “worshiping” and “the Woman’s friend” to “icky curse”? The answer is a long story of power, authority, their abuse, and public relations. One of the most important and astonishing stories on earth concerns the jealousy many men feel toward women — their Magickal menstrual and birthing powers, and the solutions they have developed to deal with this.”

“In cultures throughout the world, there are male practices that involve some kind of genital cuts to imitate a bleeding vagina. For example, even when a male Jew is born circumcised, he must endure a cut because it is necessary that blood actually flow from the genitals. In many aboriginal tribes this involves more severe practices — even the cutting of the underside of the penis — called “subcision”. In some tribes, the older women tell the young girls, “Don’t laugh at the menstruating men.” They know what is going on — and now so do we. In Greek myth, the Greek hero (originally one who was dedicated to the service of the Goddess, “Hera”) Herakles (later Hercules) goes on a journey to steal the Shamaness belt of the Amazon Queen, Hippolyta.”

We are Woman, our blood is Divine.

Read more about Rupi, here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/27/rupi-kaur-period-instagram_n_6954898.html

Read more about menstrual Magick, here:

http://mirrorofisis.freeyellow.com/id51.html