LESSONS FROM OUR WOMB: Menstruation, Menopause and Magick

Bath

image source

“Something inside her was made of moonflowers.”

Rune Lazuli

Women are amazing creatures (all people are but this is for my ladies).

Our bodies can bring life into being—that’s beyond profound.

Our lips cast spells of honey, healing words and hexes when you threaten what is ours; our hips are built to birth babies; our breasts are meant to feed our young and a comforting landing zone for their tired, sad heads when the world tries to tear them down; we are everything nature is.

Creative. Destructive. Powerful. Weak. Compassionate. Cruel. Beautiful. Ugly. Forgiving. Merciless.

We are a mix of wonderful paradoxes and Divine chaos.

For me, Witches epitomize what it means to be a Woman; in our society being a Woman automatically makes you inferior in many people’s eyes but when you are a Witch, you take back a lot of your power without even knowing it.

You see, the world hates strong Women.

So, yeah, we are more likely to be targeted by the weak and ignorant minded on a smaller scale but in the grand scheme we are generally left alone because there is no force as strong as a Woman who has stepped into her power. Many will choose to avoid us altogether rather than face us head on.

Of course, I am not suggesting that the *only* strong Women to exist are Witches, but I am saying that Women who are Witches are the strongest I know.

Women and the Moon have been connected since the beginning of time; it was the Moon who helped the first Women map their menses, and their Magick.

We are created to be cyclical; just like the ocean has an ebb and flow, so do we and just like the ocean, it is the Moon who rules ours.

Blood Moon

image source

When I first started on the path I kind of just jumped right in and for me the Feminine aspect of myself, my Magick, and my Craft was not of huge importance; I just wanted knowledge.

When I began to evolve on my path I reached a point where I had to open the door to my Femininity, my Womanly essence; I had to find the root of my pain, and the root of my power so that I could tap into both; use one to heal the other.

So, I went searching.

If you have ever looked-for articles, books, or blogs written about Witches, the Moon and Menses, you will see that the search results are endless; literally, it’s an endless list of search results.

Sounds great, right?

Well, not really.

All these articles talked about us connecting to our Wombs, how important our menstrual blood is, and how we should map our PMS with our Magick, and emotions, which is all true.

But, what about those of us Women who are Witches that don’t have a womb?

The ones who don’t bleed?

Where are we represented, not even that but where are we to look for answers about our bodies and how they relate to and reflect Mother back upon us when everything we read is telling us we are not fully a Woman because we have a womb space, instead of an actual womb?

I had a full hysterectomy as many of you know—I write about it all the time because I want people to understand my story.

There are Sisters who are Transgender, and thus biologically they cannot bleed. I believe that Transgender Women have a womb space that is like a collective consciousness; I have a womb space that is a void of sorts, a place where my womb once stood, residual power that can still be tapped into; then there are Women fully in-tact with their womb in place.

Womb or not, we are all powerful creatures.

We are all deserving of our Magick.

We are all beautiful definitions of the Divine Feminine.

There are Women who are post-menopausal, which usually happens in our Crone years but can in a lot of cases happen sooner—known as Early Onset, or Premature Menopause.

Drawing from Crone power and wisdom, along with feeling a disconnect from my womb were huge hurdles for me to overcome.

I eventually accepted that my Magick took a turn towards the Crone’s wisdom and grayness once I hit menopause because that is what I needed at that time, which helps validate my “we are cyclical” theory.

It also led me to the lesson that I believe we can tap into Maiden, Mother and Crone energy throughout our entire lives; for me they are not just age ranges, they are feelings, thoughts, emotions, learning experiences, etc.

What life requires from us is what energy we will and should draw from.

Menstruation has long been thought of as gross, taboo and something that shouldn’t be discussed; as a Women’s Rights Activist, Feminist and someone who promotes Wild Woman Spirituality, it makes my heart sing that we are beginning to break down the barriers of misunderstanding and blood that have divided us for too long.

Our bleeding is necessary for life.

That is the furthest from “gross” I can think of.

Red Rose

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But, while we are breaking down barriers and progressively moving forward it’s important to understand that our community is not one size fits all; we do not all fit into one box and there should be representations, and voices that everyone can relate to.

I know what it means to bleed, have it taken away, not bleed, and then be thrust into menopause, at 27 mind you.

The entire experience has made me a stronger person, a better Witch and a more compassionate Woman.

We are amazing, cyclical creatures that are guided by the Moon; our menses and madness follow it’s phases.

Blessed Are the Witches.

SUCCUBUS: The Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

Anna Gorin

Image: Anna Gorin

“To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth—I count that something of a miracle.”

Henry Miller

This blog initially started out as a rant, a bit of a defensive article about the demonization of Succubi; I was hoping, am hoping, to shed some light on the wide range of uses we have outside of “Stealing sexual energy”.

Because this is such an important blog, and message, I have teamed up with my fellow Succubus Leslie Chepstow.

It is time the truth was set free, and it’s time the truth sets you free.

When people hear the word Succubus they think of a whore who steal Men’s sexual energy, or they conjure images of a scary She-Daemon who does the same.

Succubi FEED ON sexual energy, we do not always steal it. There is such a thing as consensual feeding—it comes in the form of a consensual, open minded partner.

Shocking, right? (Insert Sarcasm)

It seems like everyone in our community lately wants to act like Lilith is some goddamn trend, like she is the new “it girl” of the Craft but yet NOBODY wants to admit what she is: A ruthless, coldhearted, monster with an insatiable appetite. She is also Mothering, sexual liberation personified, and the epitome of a free Woman but please let’s not water her down like all the other Women in history—she has earned the fear she instills in others.

Respect that.

Leslie writes, The Lilith in me stands in the flames of truth, unashamed of who I am, stripped and naked of pretense. I will give you a chance to understand me but if you are so arrogant to think I am beneath you, I’m un-evolved, not equal–the Lilith in me says fuck you.

Everything is not all buttercups and rainbows. Sometimes its horror and abomination, rage without remorse. When Mother calls to me I tremble with anticipation. In fact, the synestheste in me looks forward to the color of unleashed rage splashed in my mind.

Ironically, it’s the darkest part of me that will do my highest calling.

We are multifaceted Succubi.

I care; I really, really do care about people, animals and entities. That is why I use most of the energy in positive ways but at the same time I absolutely do not give a single fuck about bad people, bad entities or negative energy in general.

I face my darkest self every. time. I go. to feed. 

It’s not glamorous.

These entities are hideous and full of negative energy. 

They have done some horrible shit and need to be stopped.

(One method is to seduce them, bind them and flay the energy from them. Then leave an empty space like a good dominatrix.)

Regardless, the energy eventually must be transmuted.

Which is why, contrary to popular belief, Succubi have something to offer this world.

We can take something utterly negative and horrific and turn it into something good through the power of Kundalini. Lilith teaches us the power of the Serpent and its ability to rule over all Beasts.

That’s why I take *pleasure* in stealing the energy from those negative beings; humans or otherwise.

These days for both Leslie and myself, it is “otherwise”. We both feed from entities—in diverse ways but we both feed from non-humans. That is what we call evolution; that is how you can be an Evolved Succubus. You would think people in the Magickal community understood that.

Now, let’s address some misconceptions about us and clear them up once and for all.

  1. Succubi crave power over Men: There is this common thought that we all think “men suck, I want to get even.” No men don’t suck—the Patriarchy sucks.
  2. I want to be a Succubi because it will automatically empower me; I will be like Lilith: For this reason, the glamorization of Lilith is dangerous; she is not here to hold our hand or grant us wishes. She requires, being a Succubus in general requires, grueling Shadow Work full of blood, sweat and tears. THAT’S the stuff that matters, the stuff that actually empowers people. Society has put too much emphasis on sex being a source of power and control that we miss everything else sexual energy can teach us.
  3. The so called Magickally Evolved, Sex Goddess, <insert any title> Women who are disgusted by Succubi:

Let’s delve into this deeper.

These women assume Succubi are unevolved, unethical, energy sucking whores.

But,

These are also the same Women who constantly write about embracing the Dark Goddesses and literally PRAISE Lilith. Do they not KNOW who Lilith is?!

For example, I posted an article the other day from the Fb page WITCH—“8 Signs that you are a Magickally and Evolved Succubus”.

Almost immediately a Woman who claims to be a “Goddess of Sacred Sex” came through and commented: “A Succubus is someone who steals other people’s sexual energy. Yes, very Magickal and Evolved.”

These are the same Women who would never judge a group of people as a whole, they judge people as individuals–on merit and not just assume shit.

So, why, whyyyy are these so called enlightened, evolved “Sacred Sex Goddesses” assuming such negative stuff about Succubi? It doesn’t fit their MO in other areas so why Succubi?

I think there is a deeper thing going on.

I truly believe they are hiding some sexual hang-up, some deep fear hidden in a sugar coat of assumption.

Why else would they treat Succubi different than any and every other group of people?

Throughout time Succubi have ONLY been written about negatively, sound familiar?!

Witches, anyone?

Let’s talk about the double standard that we see, too.

Do you ever see male Vampyrs talked or written about negatively (Sanguine or Incubi)?

Oh no, plenty of people know of, write about and love male Vampyrs but us female Vamps, we are “whores who have no ethics and are notorious man stealers”

The hate directed at us is ***always*** from Women; the disinformation spread is always from Women.

It’s like the Patriarchy seeped into their brain or something.

Women tear us down, lump us together and throw us all in the same goddamn fire. We are excluded from so much within our very own Witch community because people refuse to understand.

So, we either suffer and keep our truth to ourselves (Why hide aspects of who we are? We are proud to be this way!) or we suffer the deafening solitude.

The solitude is great and all but, feeling like I am starring in Mean Girls most days fucking sucks.

How do we feed?

We take energy and change it into a luminous pure energy during the cleaning fires of orgasm and then we use this pristine energy to heal people/places/things/animals.

Leslie writes, When I worked in this plane I would find a willing human energy donor and then use the energy to heal horses. Now that I’ve completed my goal in this plane, I’ve moved on to another plane; I, like Jaclyn, feed from negative entities. I use the same method to clean the energy but depending on the entity the energy can be immense. The excess energy is given to Mother, for the “war” and I believe she sends it out to her daughters that need healing. And I keep some of the energy for myself. People like Jaclyn and myself had to become Succubi. We expend a massive amount of energy because of our level of Magick.

The point of this blog is to show people that we are not all monsters, of course there are some in the bunch who abuse their power but that is with ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.

Aspects of us are Monstrous but Maternal; we want freedom, and liberation for all beings.

The real issue is that the world is terrified of strong Women; especially strong Women who are sexually free, and empowered.

We stand proudly in our fire of truth, in our power of sex, and do the jobs that require real sacrifice and Shadow Work while others skim the surface.

This is who Mother created us to be.

This is who we are:

Not superior, just refusing to be treated inferior.

HOW TO SUCK D*CK: A Guide for the Awakened Mind

julia-randall

Image: Julia Randall

“There is nothing more feminine than a blowjob. You naked on your knees. Your guy with his hand resting on the back of your head. A really good blowjob confirms some primal nostalgia. It puts the world in balance.”

Chloe Thurlow

I am stepping way, way outside of my comfort zone as a writer and person to put this piece together; this is not usually my topic of choice and many of you who know me are probably, literally, thinking “Jac, what the fuck are you doing?”

Well, folks, you see I feel like someone needs to address this subject and since my two greatest talents were once well known as “rolling blunts and sucking dick” maybe I am qualified to speak on the matter.

“Did she just say sucking dick?”

Yes, yes I did.

Giving Head.

Fellatio.

Blowjobs.

Whatever you want to call it, that is EXACTLY what I am talking about.

I shared an article the other day from one of my favorite Facebook pages called My Tiny Secrets; the article was about How to Eat Pussy—if interested, click here.

As expected it got so much attention and even more interaction but, one comment stood out; it suggested that someone come up with an article on How to Give a Guy Head.

At first my inner Feminist (the comment was made by a man) was all huffy and puffy that he had the audacity to even ask but then I stopped and thought, what makes his request different than the article I just shared?

Then I asked the biggest question of all: have I ever even seen such an article?

Followed by:

Why doesn’t anyone talk about sucking dick, in a non-demeaning type of way?

Why are Feminists scared to say they love sucking dick—why is anyone scared to say it?

Why is it seen as something only “Sluts or freaks” do and are proud of?

Why is it viewed as a reward for remembering an anniversary, or “good behavior” instead of a regular, frequent, healthy part of a sexual relationship?

And the questions went on and on…

I mean…I am celibate and have not had a dick in my face in 3 years but I will still say, proudly, that I love sucking dick, and I am quite good at it. Full disclosure, I do not have a gag reflex and was taught some tricks of the trade by one of my favorite gays; still, sucking dick, just like eating pussy, is an art form and it’s okay to not know what you’re doing.

Furthermore, it’s okay if you don’t want to do it.

This leads me to my first tip (pun totally intended, ha)

YOU HAVE TO WANT TO SUCK IT: As with all forms of intimacy, from personal conversations, touch, straight down to sexual acts, there must be a want, a desire behind the action or else there is no purpose in doing it in the first place. We all know that everything is energy but, sexual energy is the life force; it’s strong, powerful, potent, and should be respected. It’s totally cool if oral sex is not your thing, some people really *don’t* like it; if that is the case for you then you need to be open and honest with your partner. You should never do something simply because you believe it will please another or keep them in your life; seek out someone who accepts you as you are. To sum it up, if you don’t want to suck it (or eat pussy) then don’t! Sex is most pleasurable when both partners are wholly present and involved in what is going on.

SIZE DOESN’T MATTER: A dick is a dick, and of course inches may determine how far it can go in your mouth, it does not determine how enjoyable the sex will be. This is a huge point to make because for many Women that I speak to, they equate a big dick with a good lay and well, I can speak from experience that this is not always the case. I think there is far too much pressure put on men to have a decent sized dick, and honestly, it’s ridiculous. Sex is a huge part of a relationship but it is not all of it, and if you are judging your partner on the size of their dick then you need to re-evaluate yourself.

GRAB THAT COCONUT OIL: This is something that I learned after finding out that I have an autoimmune disease called Sjogren’s, which causes dry mouth and dry eyes, among other symptoms.

Fact is, you need a wet mouth to suck dick, so when in need, improvise. Coconut oil not only tastes good, it adds an amazing texture; it also becomes creamy and white the more you lick, suck and flick so visually it’s sloppy, and kinky. Using a lube like coconut oil also helps create that sucking and gushing sound that so many men (and women) like. Even if you do not have dry mouth like I experience at times, I highly suggest adding coconut oil during your next head session. This works for pussy eating, too!

FIND HIS G-SPOT:  As many people know the male G-spot is located inside the rectum but it can also be stimulated from the outside. The internal method involves inserting a finger, plug, dildo or another object of choice into the rectum, slowly, and with some kind of lubrication (coconut oil is preferred, but saliva can work, too) and gently stimulating the perineum; this is located near the prostate.

The area can be stimulated externally by taking your first two fingers and gently massaging and applying slight pressure to the perineum (this is the area between the testicles and anus and is a highly erogenous zone). You want to stimulate the G-spot while also stimulating the shaft and/or balls (in laymen’s terms, you want to stimulate while you suck)

Start slowly, your man will tell you if it’s too much or not enough. Be warned, the orgasm created from such stimulation will be the most intense orgasm he has ever had.

DON’T LET THE FORESKIN SCARE YOU: In American culture it is fairly common for men to be circumcised so when a woman runs across a dick that is uncircumcised she thinks it’s gross, unclean, and I have even heard women make jokes about choking on the foreskin; as if that is funny, or can’t be overcome. I mean, maybe, just maybe, you’re sucking too hard…

Do your research about foreskin and circumcision before forming an opinion, and for that very reason I will supply a link at the bottom.

If properly cleaned (regular, mild soap and water with a little pulling back of the skin) you are good to go.

I am not going to get started on how unethical I believe circumcision to be, and in reality it is NO DIFFERENT than the Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) everyone cries out about (I am against this as well, duh). My point is that an uncircumcised penis is natural and should be celebrated just as much as a penis that has been cut.

We need to support our men in all of their variations and sizes, just as we expect them to accept us.

So suck it, flick it, lick it, tease it, and enjoy it!

Resources for further learning:

http://www.cirp.org/library/sex_function/

F*CKING: Screw Your Definition of Sacred

Matthew Gaynor

Image: Matthew Gaynor

“Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.”

Charles Bukowski

It seems since the page has taken a different route lately that I am being met with a lot of resistance, and back lash from my readership; both males and females alike have been up in arms over the sexual content and discussions happening regularly now.

Quite frankly, I’m shocked.

I am not new to the blogging/writing world, or being an Admin and I am most certainly not new to the concept that people don’t agree with everything I post but, to see people so upset over sex, and sexual articles on an Occult page is baffling.

I thought, overall, that we were a pretty open-minded community to all kinds of taboo topics, lifestyles, and desires; even though we need to do some serious work within the community about accepting our own.

Have I underestimated my fellow Witches and Occultists, or have I just been blessed with meeting some glorious douchebags?

I wrote a little rant on the page recently, and a blog a few weeks ago that touched on this topic and I thought for sure it would die down but, it’s only gotten worse.

One comment that was made twice has been ruminating:

“The Admin of this page is promoting empty Spiritualism by promoting Whoredom. There is no such thing as a Sacred Whore.”

First of all, I was offended.

I don’t “promote” anything; I tell my story from my perspective with a splash of practical advice and interesting articles I find along the way.

I have stated MANY times that I don’t want people to think like me, therefore what do I promote?

Whatever. I let that part go but, empty Spiritualism?

There is nothing empty about me,

Or my page.

Let’s make one thing clear: Consensual Sex is always Sacred.

Yup, even drunken one night stands; the boring, the passionate, the sloppy, the kinky, the sweaty and everything in between—it’s ALL Sacred.

You can give it pretty names like “making love” or “physical union” or you can simply say fucking–either way, it all originates from the same place, and it truly is all Sacred.

Let us not forget the emotional part though; different types of sex do require different emotional responses and sex is an amazing outlet to express oneself.

I debated with one guy who commented and his rebuttal at one point was, “by commercializing sex (ie. Sex work, prostitution, etc.) and engaging in casual sexual activity that it took away the sanctity of it all.”

I couldn’t disagree more.

Sidenote: sex work is work and I fully support sex worker’s rights.

There are many facets and layers to sex, sexual acts and sexual desires.

Sex is not “one size fits all”.

As stated in posts before if there is suppression of emotional, physical or Spiritual trauma that is causing the sexual promiscuity or perversion, if you will, then the issue needs to be addressed so that you can heal and move on.

But, if you happen to just really like sex, if you happen to just like multiple partners, or kink, or orgies, or anything else that your heart desires simply because it feels good and it is what YOU WANT TO DO, then more power to you!

To be inclusive, if you aren’t interested in sex and are a-sexual, or gray ace, more power to you, too!

Sex and sexual identity are complex issues.

Back to my point, the thought that I’m promoting “empty spiritualism” is crazy…

True spirituality is found in living, breathing, and becoming our most authentic self; one could say that Nirvana could be reached by this very practice.

Our truest, most authentic self is the pathway to our higher self which is the gateway to ascension.

Maybe my authentic self is being celibate for now or forever, maybe yours is one partner, maybe someone else’s is fucking the whole neighborhood; we each experience sex differently and no one way is the right way.

Our sexual Self is our primal nature embodied; it’s one of the rawest, truest forms of expression (this part is key which is why I said it twice).

As for commercializing sex as said in the comment, I don’t see a problem with it. People have exchanged sexual favors for money/goods/status since the beginning of recorded human history.

Let me point out that I am not including the horrific practice of sex trafficking (obviously) nor am I suggesting that there is no such a thing as forced prostitution; something that is very dangerous for the worker.

My keywords here are: safe and consensual.

I am talking about the fact that there *is* such a thing as safe, consensual sex work (regardless if it is illegal or considered immoral by some standards).

And, I personally do not think that money being involved takes away from the act being Sacred.

Since when does Sacred mean unity with one other person under specific circumstances, candles lit all around, and chanting some Ancient hymns?

Why can’t someone’s Sacred be wild, passionate fucking and/or multiple partners?

We all get off on different things, and I think that just like sex, Sacred is subjective.

When we start to force yet another stereotype of how we “should be” we lose sight of who we are.

We all judge people to one degree or another it’s human nature but, we really need to get over ourselves and stop judging people for their sexual desires and what they choose to do as a consenting adult.

Judging someone based upon the type of sex they have is self-righteous, sanctimonious, and rooted in superiority; not to mention it’s none of our goddamn business.

To sum it up, sex is energy, Sacred energy at that; energy may change but it always remains.

Certain situations make the energy more potent than others but it’s Sacred, even when it makes you uncomfortable and challenges your moral compass.

If you are projecting your morality on to others, something tells me your true motives need to be brought to light and questioned.

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.”

Oscar Wilde

 

PUSSY POWER: The Art of Yoni Healing

Liu

Image: Liu Yuanshou

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi

I have always been as open and honest in my writing as I can be, I have also been open and honest when it comes to telling my stories; both mundane and Magick, and the point in the road where the two intersect.

One of the main pieces of my story is my hysterectomy, not only did the surgery change my Magick, it changed my body, my mind and essentially my Soul. Going in to the whole ordeal I had no idea, exactly, what I was getting myself in to and how badly it would hurt me in the end.

As my Gramma always told me, “Hurt is the best teacher but it can be your demise, too. Choose carefully.”

It took me a long time to truly understand what she meant.

We can choose to hold on to the hurt and let it consume us, make us bitter and cynical or we can choose to feel the hurt, heal the hurt, and allow ourselves to grow from the hurt.

Gramma also said, “it rhymes with dirt for a reason.”

She was truly the wisest Woman I knew, and she, too, had a hysterectomy; both my Grandmas, in fact, along with my Aunts, and my Mother, too.

The pain of the empty womb space runs deep in my family line; a pain I carry so deeply, so intensely, and so sacredly inside.

This post may be about me but it is written for you.

I am writing this to all the Women who have sent me messages with questions asking how did I deal with this trauma; that’s what is, a trauma.

This is to the Women who, like me, felt their Divine Feminine was taken from them.

This is to the Women who are told by society that we are defined by our organs, and how many children we bear.

This is to the Women who are taking their Power back.

This is to the Women whose Pussy Power knows no bounds.

I was nudged to finally write this article after my SiStar, Nuit Moore shared a piece of writing I urge you all to read.

Let’s first talk about me and my Pussy so that you know our backstory, then I am going to give you some tips that completely changed my sexual world and how I exist in it.

I am by no means a Woman’s health expert, nor am I a Yoni expert, I am simply sharing my story in hopes that it can help my fellow Wombn. See what I did there?

I am my Sister and my Sister is me.

Before I get into my story let me warn you and say that there may be TRIGGERS in this blog for some of you. The story DOES CONTAIN (very little) TALK OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND RAPE. I want this article to empower you not send you into a spiral.

I will give you the abbreviated version so that I can get right to the good stuff and let you know how to set your Pussy Power free!

I was sexually abused as a child, and raped twice in my early twenties, I lost my virginity at 18; late among my friends who were active since they were 13-14. I think the late sexual activity had to do with my INFJ traits, but I did masturbate from a very young age. I was always in touch with the sexual side of myself (no pun intended, ha), and at times it most certainly was devious.

Until the age of 26 I was extremely promiscuous and as mentioned in previous blogs it’s because I was suppressing my Magick and acting out; sex became my form of self-harm.

It was at this time that my third irregular pap smear came back and Planned Parenthood (who I routinely saw for my Gynecological health) told me that they had helped as much as they could but I needed to be seen by a Specialist.

At this point I had no clue how important my Pussy was, I had no clue how important my Moon Blood was; Magick until this point came natural, and it was not in the form of being connected to the Goddess or my Feminine side for that matter. In hindsight I was extremely disassociated from my Pussy; even with all the masturbating and fucking, her and I were just not on the same wavelength.

After going through endless tests including but not limited to a Colposcopy, 2 LEEP procedures, removal of the lymph nodes in my Mesenteric region, continuous cycle birth control methods (in theory to stop the bleeding) and countless other tests and tricks, I was left with no choice but to opt for a hysterectomy.

So, as I turned 27, this was going to be my new reality.

At first my Doctor and I had decided to take out the Uterus and Cervix, leaving in the Fallopian Tubes, and Ovaries; he went in and scraped out all the Endometrium tissue, too. (Pretty severe Endometriosis)

I was officially diagnosed with Cervical Cancer, Uterine fibroid (about the size of a grapefruit), Ovarian cysts, and as mentioned, Endometriosis.

I jokingly said to my Doctor many times, the Gods really just didn’t want me to have children; a joke then, not so funny now.

It was about 3 weeks’ post-surgery when I was rushed back into the operating room to remove the Tubes and Ovaries that my body was rejecting; if I had waited any longer I would have risked septicemia because my body considered these organs foreign. Now, this meant going through surgically induced Menopause—as if natural Menopause isn’t bad enough.

I healed, physically at least, and tried to carry on with my reckless lifestyle; it didn’t last long. I was simply uninterested in sex, or at least the sex I was having, and well, my Pussy was different, I was different….life was different.

In October of 2013 I stopped having sex, and have not had sex since. I do however have an extremely active sex life, and I did manage to heal my Pussy and take my power back. I managed to do all of this by myself with some guidance and encouragement from my Sisters along the way.

You are probably thinking, all right, all right, so how do I heal my pussy?!

Funny you should ask…

  1. ACTIVATE YOUR ROOT AND SACRAL CHAKRAS! – Your Root and Sacral Chakras must start spinning again before any sexual revolution within yourself can take place. Often, activating these Chakras requires activating the Heart Chakra, too. When we are faced with severe trauma, emotional or physical, the first Chakra to go is the Heart. To help myself I invested in a Rose Quartz Yoni massage wand. It is two-fold: pleasure and healing. The Rose Quartz promotes self-love, calmness, healing and cleansing. I cannot say enough about massage wands and Yoni eggs. They both are based upon similar principles—healing the Yoni with sexual and gemstone energy. P.s Doing Kegels is also a good idea because it not only keeps the muscle tight, and the pelvic wall strong, it keeps us in tune with our Pussy. Some crystals that can help with sexual energy and particularly the Root and Sacral Chakras for such work are Garnet, Jet, Carnelian, Red Calcite, Red Tigers Eye, and Red Jasper. For the Heart Chakra I would suggest Rose Quartz, Ruby in Fuchsite, Peridot, Green Kyanite, and Green Fluorite.
  1. ACTIVATE YOUR KUNDALINI ENERGY! – This sounds much more complicated than it really is. The Kundalini is a Feminine energy that sits at the base of the spine; everyone has this energy within them, both Men and Women. When fully activated we are not only brought to a higher level of consciousness and awareness, we are brought to new sexual heights as well. The word itself comes from Sanskrit and means “coiled like a snake”. The activation of this Sacred energy must be done gently and with specific intention or you risk causing yourself severe back pain, and essentially, pissing off your Serpent. She can be brought to life, and coaxed to rise up by doing Kundalini yoga, but if yoga isn’t your thing, then the next best tip is to dance; focusing on your lower region. The type of dance you need to do should be freeform, without thought and extremely sweaty and sexual; you want to roll and rock your hips, you want to rub your hands on your body, and breasts, allow yourself to be taken over by the music and ecstasy. Some crystals to help activate the Kundalini are, Jet, Moldavite, Seraphinite and Serpentine. I would also suggest Rudraksha beads and/or some Shiva Lingam stones, as they are associated with Shiva and he not only carries the Serpent energy with him, he is the God of Yoga.
  1. MASTURBATE! MASTURBATE! MASTURBATE! – This is an essential part of overall health and too often people are scared to talk about it, let alone actually do it! Participating in regular masturbation sessions is good for the mind and body, but can also be used to help manifest desires, and cleanse the Root and Sacral Chakras. We cannot expect to be sexually fulfilled by another unless our own hand can do it to ourselves. It is when we become one with our Pussy (or Penis) that we can and will truly experience sex in all its glory. Touch yourself, find out where your sweet spots are, and in the process you may find some you didn’t even know you had. Try out different textures, too! This may be a little kinky for some, for me it seems like child’s play; feathers, latex, leather, rope, and silk are all enticing to our senses and can add to the experience. I also cannot recommend coconut oil enough. I hate to be *THAT* girl but it seriously is the best thing to hit the vagina since, well, forever. Make sure if you are going to use it for lube (with a partner or by yourself) that you invest in high quality, certified organic, cold pressed, virgin coconut oil. It sounds way more intimidating than it is, I promise. I found my HUGE tub for $9. The best part about this is the fact that it melts upon contact, and that in and of itself is a fucking turn on. It is instant delicious wetness, and usually a few degrees cooler than our body. It’s also much healthier for the body than the lubes sold OTC. Also, it is great when giving or receiving head. Try it, I bet neither you or your partner complain.
  1. MEDITATE! MEDITATE! MEDITATE! – This sounds like it is common sense for many on the spiritual path but it isn’t, at least not the kind of mediation where the Yoni is the focus. Most people when they think of meditation they only think about the mind, and focusing their intentions there, but we can and should be mediating with our Pussy as the focus, too. To do this you want to lay flat on your back on your yoga mat, towel, or whatever surface you choose. You want to bring the soles of your feet together, forming a diamond shape with your legs. Place one hand on your Pussy, and one hand on your Sacral Chakra (belly button region). Say out loud, “I release the pain of my past, I heal my Pussy, I take back the power of my Pussy, I am one with my Pussy, She is mine and mine alone.” Repeat until you actually believe it. After you have done this for a while move your hand from the Sacral Chakra and place it on your Heart. Say out loud, while your other hand is still on your Pussy, “I am open and receiving to self-love and love of another. I am worthy of this love. I am present here in this moment. I accept my Feminine Power. I take the Power back from those who tried to steal it from me.” Again, repeat until you believe it. This meditation can be personalized, and the Mantras changed but it should be practiced regularly; even if you are in a relationship, or if you are celibate like me, you want to make sure you still have a relationship with your Pussy.

It has now been 5 years since my hysterectomy and I am still relearning my body and what pleases me; it has not been easy but it has been one of the best, most rewarding journeys on my path. I draw from the Power of the Crone now and the Dark Goddesses have taken me under their wing.

I also draw from the Power of the Mother—and that has been a HUGE lesson for me. Just because I cannot have children, just because I never wanted children does not mean I am not a Mother, it does not mean I cannot be Mothering or that I am unworthy of such a task; it simply means my path to fulfilling the Mother role is different.

I am a Mother to all the misfits who feel like they have no place to go, who feel forgotten and cast aside by society.

I am a Mother to the people who wear their scars, both physical and metaphorical like battle wounds.

I am a Mother to those who hear the cry of the Wild and it stirs something deep within them.

I am a Mother to all the Women who will walk this earth after me because it is in my footsteps that they can find solace.

I am a Mother to all those who came before me, it’s in these words their voices can be heard because these words are the echoes of thousands.

To see my other blogs on Sacred Sex:

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/12/04/masturbation-and-magick-how-i-healed-myself-through-touch/

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/12/07/celibacy-and-magick-the-dynamic-duo-of-sacred-sex/

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/10/02/sacred-sex-bdsm/

Celibacy and Magick: The Dynamic Duo of Sacred Sex

Benjamin Goss

Image: Benjamin Goss

“Sex is the sacred song of the soul; sex is the sanctuary of Self…

Sex is the supreme sacrament, wherein the body and blood are offered up to the soul. The elements thereof must be worthy, their consecration absolute…

The sexual nature of a man is his most intense expression of himself; his subconsciousness endeavors thereby to inform his consciousness of his Will… It is supremely sacred to him, and to interfere with its expression, or try to edit it, is an abominable crime.”

Aleister Crowley

This is a follow-up of sorts to my Masturbation and Magick post, which did really, really well and I am super happy because that piece took a lot of courage for me to put out there in the world. This is an equally important piece for me, I find that the more personal I get with my audience the more personal realizations I have; it’s a win/win, really.

Before I get into the main part of this post which is how to practice Sex Magick alone, I want to clarify a few things. I get hit with a lot of backlash for being celibate, I have had people denounce my sexuality, and a few gentlemen even said I was not really a Luciferian if I was not engaging in sexual activity. “I am not allowing my primal, carnal side to surface”, they said.

The question needs to be asked, under whose authority is anyone to denounce my sexuality, or my status as a Luciferian? Luciferianism is about the individual, and not all individuals engage regularly in sexual activity, some don’t engage at all (A-sexual, virgins, or those who choose celibacy) for a variety of reasons. That does not make them less than, especially if they are only being true to themselves. Anyone who denounces another’s Philosophy in general is a dick; one who does so based off of sex is simply pathetic, and lacks the understanding of the core principles of Luciferianism.

Also, why is there this huge misconception that the only way to be sexual, sexually empowered, and sexually free is to have a sexual partner? In my opinion, from my own experience, this is so ass backwards it’s not even funny; I feel more empowered now, then I ever did having sex, and no I am not saying this will be the case for everyone, nor that one cannot become empowered by sex, the irony is one can only become empowered by the RIGHT sex. Random hook-ups are not going to help you on your path to enlightenment when looking at the bigger picture.

Above all else, sex is sacred and should be treated as such, in an oversexualized culture it is hard to understand this in most cases until it is too late. When I found out about the sacredness of sex, I was already bogged down by the sexual demons I had attach to me while out on my romps.

Sex Magick can be used for just about any, and everything. When one thinks of Sex Magick there are usually two images that pop into their head, Aleister Crowley, and orgies but it is so much more than that. I practice by myself, I practice forms of it with particular deities I work with, and I believe that everyone should be proficient handling their own Life Force, and bodily fluids before they go and start performing ritual with another.

This form of Magick includes the use of Semen, Vaginal Secretions, Menstrual Blood (some consider Urine part of this, too, though I do not) or the Orgasm itself in Magickal workings, castings, rituals, and rites. You can use a personal incantation, or one borrowed, there are many books on the topic with rituals given; I personally always write my own spells.

I use Sexual energy to heal my body and Soul, and I do this by absorbing the orgasm back into myself. You see, the moment of orgasm is like two stars colliding, it packs a powerful punch of potent energy, and that energy is usually wasted because we are so caught up in the moment that we don’t channel it, or we freely and without thought give it to our partner; which if you are practicing with someone is usually the idea, but I am referring to cases where it is just sex.

There is no fancy ritual that I do, and often find myself lying in bed late at night or early in the morning with wandering hands ready to heal my body. During the moments pleasing myself I chant quietly, or sometimes just in my head, “Sana me, prima vitae” which is Latin for, “Heal me, Life force.”

The moment right before orgasm I say it as a command, my body begins to slither like a serpent as I am in the throes of passion, I can literally feel the Magick coursing through every cell, molecule and atom. I lay there afterwards thanking my body, loving my body, no need to feel self-conscious about if I performed well, or if my partner enjoyed it, because that partner is me, the only one who matters.

When I wish to use an element of Sexual energy for actual castings, I don’t ever use the orgasm but I have used vaginal secretions for binding, and protective Magick. If you consider urine to be part of this, it is also really, really good for protection, specifically of territory.

I do not menstruate, so I have used urine, and secretions more than others, please feel free to check out the links provided, and to use your menstrual blood to its full potential!

When in need of said secretions, I will set up my ritual space, and masturbate right in the circle, I wipe my Yoni with a (clean) cloth, one usually color associated with whatever form of Magick I am doing, or deity I am working with. I then place the cloth upon my altar, or working space, and voila, I have the element of sexual energy, and the end product without needing a partner.

Sex Magick is a fantastic part of Magick as a whole, and one that is very fulfilling to personal growth and development but the individual often forgets themselves when dealing with this form of the Craft, and that is where emotional instability, dependency on others, and cracks in our foundation begin to occur.

We must take care of home, make sure our home is in order before we invite anyone else over, and our bodies are our homes; they are our temples and we need to treat them as such.

 

Resources for further research:

http://www.luckymojo.com/bodyfluids.html

 

http://www.thefountainoflife.org/womb-awakening/sacred-menstruation/sacred-menstruation-reclaiming-our-wise-blood/

http://www.egreenway.com/wands8/sexmagick.htm