“If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are a one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.”
Victoria Moran
This blog is long overdue, and I have talked about the topic a few times here and there throughout the years, but I have never sat down to write a piece solely on what it means to block ourselves.
We can also curse and jinx ourselves.
“No, we can’t. That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!”
I hear you saying it right now.
Hello, denial.
As you can imagine I get an array of messages and engage with all kinds of comments; I see a lot.
What I see the most of, especially lately, is people saying they hear nothing from the other side; they are saddened that their Spirits are silent, or that they disappear when needed most.
So, clearly this is a complex issue (ie. Our Spirits being silent) and too many variables come into play to write here in the blog.
AND
Our Spirits (Ancestors and deities alike) DO TEST US and yes, the lessons often are hard.
*HARD*
I have personally had certain Spirits go quiet, or step back to teach me something.
BUT
If *ALL* my Spirits went silent, if I could suddenly no longer even feel the other side, my Witchy senses would tell me something else is going on; something more than a lesson.
People will point fingers everywhere, everywhere and not for a second stop to think, “Did I cause this?”
Previously, I have talked about needing to Feed Our Spirits but this, this is something else entirely.
We are powerful beings; Witches are benders of reality.
Why do so many fellow Witches and Magickal folk think they can’t bend their own reality?
I mean, they believe in manifestation, right?
Bringing in the positive shit, right?
*looks at the good vibes only crew*
So, then why do they deny being able to bring in the negative shit?
Like attracts like.
We attract what and who we are and, what and who is needed in that moment.
Think about it.
You can curse someone else, you can curse yourself.
You can heal someone else, you can heal yourself.
You know that saying, “Your vibe attracts your tribe”?
Well, your vibe also attracts your life.
Here are some common ways we block ourselves and don’t even know it.
NEGATIVE SELF TALK: This is something that every single person struggles with, and anyone who says they don’t are lying to you.
Negative Self-talk can be simple, like when you make a mistake and immediately say, “Oh, I should have caught that. How stupid of me.” Or, “I am so stupid for missing that. Sorry.”
This immediately becomes our reality.
We become victims.
We become prey.
We define ourselves as stupid, so “stupid” things will continue to happen.
How we talk to ourselves, and about ourselves are some of the most important words we speak.
We must be aware of what we are speaking into existence, and when we catch ourselves talking negatively ABOUT ourselves, we must ask, “Where is this coming from? What is the root?”
And, rip that shit out.
The world is quick to cast people out who show strength and are different.
Witches, Mystics, misfits in general exude strength by daring to be different; even if being different isn’t by choice.
Love your weirdness because the world will not.
Remember, negative Self-talk is casting spells on ourselves.
Be mindful of the words you speak.
Areas affected: Throat, Heart, Crown and Solar Plexus Chakras. These blockages can cause problems communicating, loving, connecting and doing (actions). Crystals to help: Lapis Lazuli (any blue stone), Rose Quartz, Unakite Jasper, Prehnite, Emerald, Herkimer Diamond, Clear Quartz, Optical Calcite, Citrine, Orange Calcite, and Peach Aventurine.
FAILING TO FOLLOW THROUGH: This is a lesson when I bring up to other people they are mind blown.
Okay, so, backstory, I can be a bit a people pleaser; I have struggled with it my whole life.
I am either “fuck off, get out of my face, get out of my space” or I am “yes, yes, yes, yes” to please everyone around me, only to leave myself depleted.
As with everything, I am one extreme or the other.
I have learned through experience, when I couldn’t follow through with something my Will, Magickally speaking, seemed to weaken.
If I said I would do something, even the tiniest thing like going to the store, or cleaning my room and Altars and didn’t follow through I noticed a tangible dip in the strength of my Will.
I didn’t understand that I was breaking vows.
When we say we are going to do something we are creating a contract of sorts, a vow.
And, when we don’t follow through with that vow, it ripples back.
This is not some threefold, karmic Law, it’s simple consequence of action.
We must be impeccable with our word (one of The Four Agreements).
And, yes, that means following through when we say we are going to do something.
Areas Affected: Root, Heart, Throat, Third Eye Chakras. This causes problems with feeling grounded/safe/secure, loving, communicating and living our truth, and intuition. Crystals to help: Garnet, Red Calcite, Mahogany Obsidian, Black Tourmaline, Moldavite, Green Aventurine, Angelite, Blue Calcite, Aqua Obsidian, Amethyst, Rainbow Moonstone, and Phantom Quartz.
COMPARING YOURSELF TO SOMEONE ELSE: I think we are all guilty of this to one degree or another, and often it’s done on a subconscious level.
In Western culture particularly, from childhood we are forced to compare and/or compete with our peers.
In many ways this is healthy because the world is indeed a competitive place, but it can also be negative and have adverse, long lasting affects not known or shown until adulthood.
The majority neglects to see that each one of us are on our own journey, no matter how many similarities we may have with another person, we’re all different.
We’re all creating and forging our own path.
Our experiences, outcomes, journeys, will all be different; our methods, and techniques will be different as well.
This does not mean one is better than the other.
I see a lot of comparing and competing in the Magickal world, and often the comparing turns into an ego driven Witch War.
And, what for?
Because someone has better tools? Because they experienced a Spirit differently? Because their Altar looks better? Because they have a “cooler aesthetic”?
Because they didn’t have the same experience as yourself?
These questions are based on actual conflicts I have seen.
We can do better, we are better.
Stop comparing and competing; we are all subjectively experiencing our own reality, and you should compete with no one except yourself.
Areas Affected: All Chakras. This causes problems is every area of your life. Crystals to help: Jet, Labradorite, Selenite, Pink Tourmaline, Kambaba Jasper, Lepidolite, Herkimer Diamond, Black Moonstone, Garden Quartz, Hematite, Opal, Fire Agate, Blue Apatite, and Pietersite.
In a world of Spiritual gurus, and self-proclaimed teachers, nobody wants to talk about the negative aspects of spirituality and how that negativity affects us as Practitioners, and in our everyday lives.
Everything we do is Magick; it’s so very, very true.
That sentiment must be understood when dealing with ourselves, our needs, our desires, our dreams and our boundaries.
We create our reality.
So, when shit hits the fan, we really have no one to blame but ourselves.
I totally understand where your coming from as a nearly life long people pleaser myself. Your right from a very young age basically starting way back in preschool and then school. Most of us learn to be competitive and/or popular with the other kids. Survival is the name of the game for all of us.
Which depending on the results from our childhood? Our early inner psyche forms and develops during our formative years often influencing us into whom we still are today. Depending on our culture, society, religion, socioeconomic group, our family, our friends, our belief systems, our experiences and our everyday lives will always influence us to a degree.
It’s taking out and really looking at our own negative life traits. Then accessing them whilst deciding which ones that you want to change from within and which ones that you want to keep. Those that still serve you in a positive manner,
A lot of it can be undone with a really strong will and an affirmative decision to do so no matter what. Along with the correct guidance to get you there it can be done. It’s hard to do but the results in the end are more than worth it because it will affect your entire life.
I’m not saying that it’s necessarily easy but nothing in life worth striving for ever is right.
For me it took not only studying psychology academically but to also participate in a cognitive behavioural therapy group. There were only eight of us with a therapist leading the group way back in the mid 1990’s.
In that safe confidential group we were able to tell others, quite often for the very first time about the”inner critic” and other characteristics which had plagued us for most of our lives up until then.
Even though all of us both women and men were all from such different paths of life, we found that our inner psyche’s had more in common than their actual differences. Just imagine if most people realised that now and every single day how different and freeing all of our lives would be.
By the end of the three month course for two 3 hour sessions a week we found solace and healing within each other. Yet the hardest thing for all of us to do was to forgive ourselves for either being too naive, being a people pleaser (my hand was definitely up for those two), lol. Or being too aggressive, too judgemental, too critical, too fussy, too bossy, too much of a pessimist or even being too much of an optimist can be a probem too along with a multitude of developmental traits which make us into whom we are today.
Yet once we all realised what was happening within our inner schema. That’s when we started to realise that “the cure” had been within us hidden all of that time.
Once we had found the cure most of us gradually found that all kinds of relationships in our lives started to change. For me it was a total life changer. I’m still a bit naive but am far less trusting to others until I feel they can be relied upon to keep my confidences safe and respected.
I also learnt to be a better shift supervisor, as a Senior Youth Worker at the time, after doing this cognitive behavioural therapy group course better than ever before. I learnt that it was ok to delegate more tasks especially as they were job appropriate.
I realised that I didn’t have to work myself into the ground just to be a people pleaser because in adult life it’s far different than the school yard one.
As you addressed yourself so well Jaclyn writing about “comparing ourselves to someone else” has been an almost lifelong hurdle for me. But then again I think it is for most of us brought up in western society.
That’s because of the way we were usually brought up to be.
Yet we are all individuals with different lives, outer personality’s along with our inner psyche.
I realise how hard it is to break an almost lifelong habit, I really do. I used to do it far too much many years ago but have learnt to drop it almost entirely.
Not sure if that’s because of my age or just the passing of the years in general. Either way it’s something that I don’t feel the need or want to do ever again anymore. Yet it’s a trait that is hard to diminish that is for sure,
Always remember that we all have the capacity to change instead of conforming if we truly want to. We can all do it.
Thanks for another great blog post Jaclyn.
Blessed Be & Namaste to All,🙏
CazWytch⭐️❤️🌙