Image: Mira Nedyalkova

“The Western Sexual Revolution sucks. It has not worked well enough for Women.”

Naomi Wolf

Last night before bed I posted a quote about sluts, and it caused quite the stir. I want to talk about the reaction, and the quote itself along with my opinion on the matter; why it IS relevant on NR for reasons other than it’s my page and I can post what I want.

First thing’s first, here’s the quote:

“A slut is someone, usually a woman, who’s stepped outside of the very narrow lane that good girls are supposed to stay within. Sluts are loud. We’re messy. We don’t behave. In fact, the original definition of “slut” meant “untidy woman.” But since we live in a world that relies on women to be tidy in all ways, to be quiet and obedient and agreeable and available (but never aggressive), those of us who color outside of the lines get called sluts. And that word is meant to keep us in line.” ― Jaclyn Friedman

In case you have not noticed let me clarify that on my page I intentionally post thought provoking images, quotes, links, etc. I post things that will make you uncomfortable, and question your perspective of the world. I have done this since the beginning and will continue to do so regardless of who tries to dull my shine.

If you don’t agree with something on the page, then you don’t HAVE to comment; you don’t HAVE to form an opinion and put it online for the world to see. I have spoken about this so many times that I am starting to annoy myself.

Commenting ignorant, misogynistic opinions is a choice, and a poor choice at that.

Someone asked why the post was necessary. I replied to his comment and asked “Why is this comment necessary?”

His rebuttal, “Just like this post, it isn’t.”

*deep sigh*

The post is relevant because I am a Woman, and I was promiscuous at one point in my life. I was called a slut, and shamed for my sexual freedom. Having sat in the solitude of celibacy for the past 2 ½ years I can say with certainty that I would do it all over again, and I don’t regret a single thing.

I do not regret a single one-night stand, I do not regret one orgasm, or blow job I gave in my life; I also do not regret the nectar of the Gods I allowed them to sip in return. I regret none of it, and the moment I do is the moment I hand over my power to another.

In that moment, I hand over the power to define myself.  I’ll be damned if I allow that to happen again.

I posted the quote because I thought it was interesting and well, it’s fucking true! I posted the quote because I felt like it. I posted the quote because the picture is strong with deep rooted symbolism. I posted the quote because far too many Women shy away from their sexuality for the very fear of being called a slut, or worse; the fear of being judged in general is often cause for most Women, even today, to repress their pleasure, fantasies, and desires. Collectively we seem to be getting better but we have a long way to go.

Have you ever noticed when a Woman does not “act accordingly” she is called not only a bitch, but a slut? Why is it that slut is the go to insult?

What is it about that word that makes it cut so damn deep?

Generally speaking, Men get away with far more in the sexual arena than Women do.

When a Man is fucking everything he sees, he’s not just a man, he’s known as “the man” by his peers.

Now, I am not shaming a Man’s sexual freedom or the choice to have as many sexual partners as he wishes; I am shaming the double standard.

If a Woman chooses her sexual liberation in form of multiple partners she is automatically a slut. She gets called “dirty” and “loose”.

I hate to burst the bubble of people who hold this mentality but what do you think we are supposed to do with a part of our body that is strategically placed on our genitals and happens to have 8,000 nerve endings? (Reference: Clitoris)

Sit on it, and look pretty?

Cut it off in some barbaric tradition, then sew our Sacred Yoni shut?

To be fair, I think male circumcision is just as bad as female circumcision (FGM). Though the conditions in which they are done seem to be far more traumatic, dangerous and blatantly unsanitary for the young girls who experience this as part of “becoming a Woman”.

I am the first to admit that in many cases promiscuity is because of an underlying emotional stresser/trigger/event that has not been dealt with; in some cases, the person (in this context, a Woman) may not even be aware of the issue(s).

There are, however, many instances where Women just like to have sex. Why does something have to be wrong with her? Why does she have to be “searching for love but afraid of pain”? (One of the comments I deleted this morning).

Why does she have to be anything other than a human being having and enjoying sex? Why are we judging her? Why do we feel the need to judge her? Why do we feel that we have the power, or authority to judge her in the first place?

Sex is amazing, and how another chooses to have it literally does not affect you whatsoever. Read that line twice, three times for good measure.

Who someone chooses to sleep with, how many people they choose to sleep with and the style of sex they choose to partake in does not hinder your quality of life in the least. Stop wasting your energy judging other people and use that energy instead to look in the mirror and see why you feel the fucking need to be judgmental in the first place; because clearly this narrow minded way of thinking has some deep rooted issues within.

You shouldn’t point your finger in judgment of another with dirty hands. Didn’t anyone teach you that?

Sex should be consensual, safe, fun, dirty, free, expressive, gentle and rough simultaneously. Sex should be all this and more, so much more.

Sex should never be shamed, but rather celebrated.