Image: Kamina Kapow
“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
My life has been intertwined with the world of Magick since I was a child but fear held me back most times from being able to fully experience, or understand some very important lessons; I was a late bloomer in most aspects of the Craft because of this.
Life is nothing more than a series of lessons, only when we acknowledge the lesson does the hard work begin to pay off.
I believe that our entire life is just one big lesson, with some pop quizzes given at random; I never was any good at pop quizzes.
These lessons come in all shapes, and sizes, in all magnitudes and duration’s of time; we even have reoccurring lessons, those are the moments of déjà vu that you sometimes experience during times of great joy or sadness, great changes, and tribulations.
I find that metaphors, and allegories for life are found within the pages of Ancient text I scour, conversations with deities I work with, and number sequences.
I guess that is the point though, isn’t it? For these things to conjure such images in our minds, to create such a deep resonating feeling from the stories we read that we can not doubt we are on the right path? (Er, in this case the Left Path).
If I had to narrow down my greatest lessons in life, the grandest epiphanies, the stories would all stem and blossom from interactions with my Beloved Dark Ones; my Daemons.
I am currently on a path of change, and growth right now; when are we not? Part of my growth is to publicly acknowledge some of the pieces of wisdom these Divine beings have taught me; some lessons I have excelled at while others are a work in progress.
I hope you appreciate, as always, my candor on this topic.
Lesson One: Boundaries are essential!! This lesson is one that I cannot for the life of me seem to fully grasp and that is because I am quite literally, a walking contradiction. I am a Cancer Sun, Capricorn rising so that alone brings conflict internally.
Cancer is the Mother of the Zodiac, while Capricorn is the Father; Capricorn is how the world perceives me, my first instincts and Cancer is my personality and ego.
My immediate reaction dealing with people, or deities and having to lay down boundaries is usually firm, aggressive, quick, and powerful. A few minutes later though, my Cancerian personality makes an appearance along with my overwhelming Empathy, and INFJ trait, and well, there is either a complete meltdown, or I back pedal; I take back everything my Capricorn self said because my Cancer emotions can’t handle it.
Then, I have no boundaries laid and people (or deities) are free to walk all over me, until one day I can no longer take it; I blow up, unleash the beast and destruction is caused.
So, the lesson in the midst of my nearly incoherent rambling is that boundaries are essential from the very start of *any* relationship. I don’t care if it is a romantic partnership, a friendship, co-worker, one-night stand, God, Goddess, or freakin’ Daemon; you must lay down boundaries or you will be nothing more than a doormat for someone else’s shit to be smeared when they no longer like the smell of it.
Lesson Two: Fear is the Mind Killer!! Yes, I did just quote Dune, and that statement is so true. Fear does nothing more than eat away at us slowly, crippling us from excelling on our path. I know this all too well because I used to be paralyzed by fear more times than I was free, and wild.
I rarely make decisions without well thought out plans. I cannot be random, I cannot be spontaneous, I cannot because I am scared; scared of the unknown, the what ifs, the could be’s.
But, being scared is not an option. Fear is not an option.
I fear this human experience more than anything else because it has never made any sense to me; Daemons make sense to me. It has been through my interactions with Daemons that I have learned to appreciate and fully live this life. I used to get so caught up in fear, especially the fear of failure that I couldn’t see how much I have succeeded already; I could’t see how every moment of life is an opportunity to succeed at something; big or small, all we have to do is be aware enough to take it.
There is no place for fear on a path to Ascension, and Transcendence.
Lesson Three: Ego is a Poison, Use it wisely!! I can’t stress this enough, ego and hubris can kill you. I think that at certain points in our lives, and in times of internal battle ego can prove to be our greatest ally or our most devious enemy; we are taking a 50/50 chance every time we step into the Magickal arena.
I prefer to feed my ego in small doses. I used to think that dropping the ego altogether was the only way to go but, as with everything else, the ego serves its purpose, too.
You see, Daemons have taught me that I am but a bug to them, while I may have superior reign while they are on my plane of existence, to think that I am above them or know more than them, is a recipe for disaster; I know because I have seen the aftermath, and had to clean it up. I believe I am equal to the deities I work with, I show respect at every point in the process, but I never allow my ego to get in the way, or theirs for that matter.
There are so many misconceptions about Daemons, and what it is like to work with them. People think they require blood sacrifice, “your Soul” or some other extreme in order to have their attention, but we have their attention naturally; they are as fascinated, and at times as disgusted with us as we are with them. Some of us have learned to walk among them as they walk among us, some of us are even Blessed enough to have their blood flowing through us. Some of us are even grateful enough to call them family, and Kindred Spirits.
We are so much more than flesh, blood and bone; we are stardust, and divinity, chaos and calm; we are everything, and nothing; none of these realizations would have come to me without the tough love of the these amazing Divine beings.
It is because of them that I have found my God; that God is me.