ASTROLOGY FORECAST: New Moon in Cancer, Choice, Destiny & Fate

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Original Artwork by Author, Emily O’Keeffe


We are coming up to the end of Cancer season in a couple of days.  Cancer season started with a New Moon at 0 degrees Cancer, and it will end with another New Moon at 28 degrees Cancer. This is not something that happens often. Usually the New Moon is in a different sign each month.

But then, nothing about 2020 so far has been the norm.

Have we learned and integrated the lessons that we needed to this Cancer season?

I hope that at least some of us have.

This New Moon on June 20th, is opposing Saturn in Capricorn.  Both the Moon and Saturn are in their domicile, meaning they are in the signs that they rule so they both function very well here.  The theme for this New Moon is nurtured growth.

There is a Medieval Alchemical adage that says, ‘For a tree’s branches to reach heaven, its roots must reach to hell’.

In other words, a tree cannot grow to its full potential if it does not have a strong and healthy root system.

I would venture to say that very few of us started out in life with an optimal environment to put down our root system.  Even if we did have an optimal environment to start out, there will always be factors that affect our growth and our root system.  However, we can still try to heal.  It takes time and a lot of work. It takes digging deep and finding the problem and in some cases, cutting away the dead parts so new growth can form and be nourished.  It is shadow work.

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I know… You are probably thinking, “Woman! Can you ever talk about a concept without mentioning shadow work?!?!?”

I get it, I really do.

I can make myself sick with that concept too.

But everything really does come back around to knowing yourself which is the main purpose of shadow work.

As I mentioned in the last blog, this Cancer season has been about letting go.  That has been a really big theme for me personally.

I have had quite a few concepts, and people for that matter, that have come back into my life and my awareness for review and in some case purging.  I have been thinking a lot about Fate and Destiny lately.

Well, if I am being totally honest, I think about those concepts an awful lot in general.  I love fantasy and Sci-Fi stuff!  Books, stories, movies, shows, all that I absolutely love and have since I was a kid.  Fate, Destiny, and the Hero’s journey are all big themes in those kinds of stories.

I have more than once wondered do these concepts resonate with me because I watch these things?  Or do I watch these things because these concepts resonate with me?  It’s a chicken/egg situation I think, but in any case, they do resonate with me in a big way.

One of my favorite shows at the moment, is the Umbrella Academy.  Season 2 comes out at the end of the month and I can’t wait!  If you aren’t familiar with the story, it’s based on a graphic novel.

It’s about 43 babies that were all mysteriously born on the same day, all of whom have superpowers of some kind.  Sir Reginald Hargreeves adopts seven of these babies.  He raises and trains them to save the world.  They are a dysfunctional family to say the least.  Hargreeves never even gave them actual names, he just referred them by a number, 1-7.

One of my favorite characters is Five.

netflix hargreeves GIF by The Umbrella Academy

He has the ability to materialize anywhere he wants and eventually figures out how to travel through time. On his first attempt at age 13, He gets stuck in the future just after the apocalypse and spends the next 40 years alone.

Then one day he meets The Handler.

She explains to him that she works for an organization called The Commission.  The Commission is tasked with the preservation of the time continuum through “manipulations and removals”.

 She goes on to say “Sometimes people make choices that alter time. Free Will… don’t get me started. When that happens we dispatch one of our agents to… eliminate the threat.” I really love that line “Free Will… don’t get me started”.

I have often thought that life would almost be easier if we did not have free will.  If we just knew what we were fated for or destine to do or be.  Unfortunately, that’s not how life works; Life is full of questions and choices.

Astrology is one of those concepts where I think people do believe that it rests on Fate or Destiny.

So, because of that two things can happen, either people dismiss its validity out right or they use it as an excuse to justify shitty behavior.

“Welp, I’m just a Libra and we’re flaky and indecisive so…”

Yes, it’s true, Libras can be flaky and indecisive, but it’s because they have the ability to see all sides of the situation.

This is not great for making a concrete decision but, really great for negotiations and bringing opposite sides together.  One concept of Fate is that we are born into certain circumstances and it is up to us how those circumstances play out.  We make choices every single day in a million mundane ways that affect the outcome of our futures and sometimes the futures of others too.

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Everything in Astrology has multiple sides, the Yin and Yang, the light and dark, the positive and negative.

Every sign, every house, every planet, every aspect, all of them have multiple sides!

We choose which aspect we show and live out, the positive or the negative.

We choose it every time.

Whether or not we are aware of it, we have made a choice.

The choice is always ours to control.

Even consciously not making a choice is actually a choice.

We control what happens to us, we control our Destiny for better or worse.

There is a quote that really simplifies this concept.

I questioned if I should use it or not because its author is somewhat of a pariah lately.  I am thoroughly disappointed that she has chosen to die on that particular ‘TERF’ hill, and I want to make it extremely clear for the record that I personally believe Trans women ARE WOMEN!

To be perfectly honest I think she should go back and read some of her own work, because maybe the hypocrisy will finally click for her in this respect.  However, it does not make this quote any less true or valid.

The quote is from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and it’s one of my favorites.  Harry is questioning himself because he is starting to see that he has some of the same abilities as Voldemort and this frightens him so he goes to Dumbledore for advice.  Dumbledore says to Harry, “It is not our abilities that show what we truly are. It is our choices.”

Our choices truly determine our Fate and our Destiny, for better or worse.

So, know yourself and choose wisely.

MUSINGS OF A MODERN MYSTIC: Generational Trauma and the Outcast

Water 5

“After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom.”

Arthur Golden

I saw a meme recently that hit the deepest recesses of my being, and I have searched high and low and cannot seem to find it again; I know I didn’t dream it, either. I searched on FB, IG, Pinterest and Google, so if anyone knows what I am talking about, PLEASE, share it!

The meme said (loosely quoting, there was a great caption, too): “In order to heal generational trauma, you must begin by understanding the black sheep of the family; they are wounds embodied.” Note: Black sheep is one of those terms that has tones of subtle racism, and so I am choosing to use the word outcast instead.

It stopped me in my tracks.

I dropped my phone.

I sobbed.

I sobbed until no noise came out of my mouth.

I sobbed until my tears ran dry.

I sobbed until my Soul was tired.

I have always been the outcast; my family seems to believe that because they love me, that means they accept me, or that they understand me.

They hardly know me, so how can those other things be true?

I have no ill will towards my family, I love them, but I am the product of what happens when parents’ divorce and one of three children is moved away from *everyone*.

Separation happens.

I have written about my Father Wound before so many of you know what happened there, and how that affected me (how his absence and abandonment molded me, and my views of Men)—I plan to share an epiphany I had on the subject later in this blog.

Much of my family didn’t try to have a relationship with me, a child, and they blamed me, a child.

I type this and worry one may see and get offended.

But I don’t care.

Keep reading.

Trauma

I was 12 at the time, and quickly learned that my new home environment was abusive, and I remained there for 10 years; that is where a lot of my CPTSD comes from.

Having a connection with my family wasn’t at the forefront of my mind: surviving was.

Truths need to be brought to light, and hard truths even more so.

This is about more than the divorce, what happened after, and the dynamic of relationships within my family; this is about what it means to be the outcast.

I scoff, roll my eyes, and bite my tongue every time I see someone claim to be an outcast (really black sheep, but again, a tad racist) like it’s a badge of honor; same as people who claim to be “weirdos”.

This shit isn’t a trend.

Being an outcast is isolating, painful, lonely, and traumatic as fuck. As a child you wonder, why am I not good enough, what did I do wrong, why can’t I be normal? Am I not worthy of love?

And, as an adult not much changes, except maybe having the strength to draw hard lines in the sand, or the compassion to forgive and move forward; other times it’s cutting them off completely.

Being a weirdo usually means we’re bullied in our younger years (which may even transfer to adult life, too). It means not being accepted, being ostracized and ridiculed.

I had no choice in being weird, or an outcast—both are very much who I am, but they were not easy roles to play, or paths to walk; they still aren’t.

I am proud to be both but I won’t sit here and make either look pretty.

As far as my family goes, on one hand I want to be understood and accepted, on the other hand I know they won’t “get it” so why even bother?

I am loud, opinionated, wise, in tune, defiant (also respectful when I need to be).

I take up space, my presence is undeniably powerful (Jupiter on my Ascendant can be thanked for that, among other things).

I say what I mean and mean what I say; I don’t let racism, sexism, classism, or any “ism” happen in my presence, and that has made for some very interesting family gatherings.

Last Easter (a Holiday I don’t celebrate, but it coincides with my Grandfather’s birthday) I cleared the table when I said that my brother’s fiancé was wrong for wanting to get “a Native card” so that her daughter could get a discount on college tuition.

That’s the whitest, most privileged shit I ever heard.

Eye roll

I had to call that out.

How can I sit here and tell all of you to burn in your truth if I won’t burn in mine?

I also called us (white people) colonizers, because we are; regardless if we (my family) have Native blood in us (we do) or not.

We are white passing; we have never been oppressed because of our Indigenous heritage, we don’t know what it’s like to live on a Rez in 2019 and not have running water, and electricity. We don’t face the addiction rates (a direct result of, you guessed it, Generational Trauma and colonization) that Indigenous people do, nor do we have to worry about our girls in the way Indigenous people do ; their girls and Women go missing and/or are killed in staggering numbers.

Don’t get me started on the sexual assault statistics. It’s mind-blowing.

For reference and education, click here.

So, no, you don’t get a “Native card” for higher education.

I was not about sit there in silence……in compliance, while some privileged shit went unchecked.

I checked it.

LOUDLY.

For clarification, I do have supportive, progressive and amazing family members whom I love more than anything in this world; they are my anchor to my humanity.

This leads me to the Mother Wound and Generational Trauma.

Generational Trauma is the idea that trauma is passed on through not only DNA but as a psychic imprint.

You can read more about it, here.

I faced my Father Wound with rage the likes of which can’t aptly be described.

I held onto so much fucking hate, and utter disdain for my sperm donor that I removed the concept of having a Father altogether.

I handled my Mother Wound with complete understanding, and compassion; anger at times, too, when she would project her pain onto me, but it didn’t linger because I took her pain on as my own, and together we sifted through it.

Unity

As we began to heal our traumas and our bond, we noticed the Women in my family waking up, and they started to ride the frequency of their intuition; my one Aunt even has begun to build her first Altar.

She also buys all my books and supports me like no other. My cousins are into spirituality, Feminism, crystals, etc. and a few are even anti-religion like me (which makes me so proud!)

My Mom is an outcast, too so teaming up, and attacking our pain (most of which was experienced together and is why our bond is so strong) has allowed the Generational Wounds to show themselves and be healed.

We called on the Ancestors for help, as well, and filled any missing pieces by asking the elders.

My (step) Sister has recently come out as a Witch.

One of my Brother’s has completely opened himself up to the otherworld (he doesn’t quite know it yet, though) and he and his wife even birthed into creation a beautiful baby Witch who is now 4.

These awakenings brought me back to my Father Wound after I heard a story about what happened to him when he was a child. Apparently, he was caught playing with his Sister’s dolls and the punishment was severe.

Hell, my brothers played with my dolls with me, just like I played with their G.I Joe, matchbox cars and Wrestling figures.

Punished for playing with dolls?

But, back in the early 60’s it was unacceptable in his home (still is in some homes today) and he was forced to wear one of his sister’s dresses and stand out on the front lawn from morning until evening “to teach him a lesson”.

And, this is only one example of the expectations put on him as a child to be hyper-masculine, that he has carried all through his life.

The patriarchy hurts us all, and this is a prime example—toxic masculinity at its most vile.

Water 4

Last time I saw my Father, he was so….old and fragile.

I could see life had taken its toll on him, I could see the pain in his eyes—the pain he tries to cover so hard. I could sense the unhappiness that he hides with new shiny toys and home renovations. And, suddenly I didn’t feel hate anymore, I felt pity at first, then I felt nothing but compassion and empathy for him. I wanted to take him in my arms and swallow him up with Divine Mother energy.

After that encounter I sat down and readdressed the Father Wound; I know he will never be what I need or want him to be, he will never love me the way he should, the way I need, or want, but I understand him on a deeper level now, and for some reason that makes things, not okay, but easier for me to swallow.

The same goes for the rest of my family.

I am not excusing actions, but I am refusing to allow them to continue.

It ends with me.

There is something profound seeing the work you have done individually, then teamed up with your Crone Mother manifest into real healing for the ones you love most.

Trauma is complex, love is complex, family is complex.

Generational Trauma takes years to fully comprehend, but it can be understood, and to some degree overcome; healing can happen on some level, and cycles can be broken.

CYCLES CAN BE BROKEN.

CYCLES WILL BE BROKEN.

I had to stop running, face the truth, no matter how hard or ugly it was; then I Alchemized that shit and watched how things shifted.

Lessons in Magick: What Daemons Have Taught Me

Kamina Kapow

Image: Kamina Kapow

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

Mandy Hale

My life has been intertwined with the world of Magick since I was a child but fear held me back most times from being able to fully experience, or understand some very important lessons; I was a late bloomer in most aspects of the Craft because of this.

Life is nothing more than a series of lessons, only when we acknowledge the lesson does the hard work begin to pay off.

I believe that our entire life is just one big lesson, with some pop quizzes given at random; I never was any good at pop quizzes.

These lessons come in all shapes, and sizes, in all magnitudes and duration’s of time; we even have reoccurring lessons, those are the moments of déjà vu that you sometimes experience during times of great joy or sadness, great changes, and tribulations.

I find that metaphors, and allegories for life are found within the pages of Ancient text I scour, conversations with deities I work with, and number sequences.

I guess that is the point though, isn’t it? For these things to conjure such images in our minds, to create such a deep resonating feeling from the stories we read that we can not doubt we are on the right path? (Er, in this case the Left Path).

If I had to narrow down my greatest lessons in life, the grandest epiphanies, the stories would all stem and blossom from interactions with my Beloved Dark Ones; my Daemons.

I am currently on a path of change, and growth right now; when are we not? Part of my growth is to publicly acknowledge some of the pieces of wisdom these Divine beings have taught me; some lessons I have excelled at while others are a work in progress.

I hope you appreciate, as always, my candor on this topic.

Lesson One: Boundaries are essential!! This lesson is one that I cannot for the life of me seem to fully grasp and that is because I am quite literally, a walking contradiction. I am a Cancer Sun, Capricorn rising so that alone brings conflict internally.

Cancer is the Mother of the Zodiac, while Capricorn is the Father; Capricorn is how the world perceives me, my first instincts and Cancer is my personality and ego.

My immediate reaction dealing with people, or deities and having to lay down boundaries is usually firm, aggressive, quick, and powerful. A few minutes later though, my Cancerian personality makes an appearance along with my overwhelming Empathy, and INFJ trait, and well, there is either a complete meltdown, or I back pedal; I take back everything my Capricorn self said because my Cancer emotions can’t handle it.

Then, I have no boundaries laid and people (or deities) are free to walk all over me, until one day I can no longer take it; I blow up, unleash the beast and destruction is caused.

So, the lesson in the midst of my nearly incoherent rambling is that boundaries are essential from the very start of *any* relationship. I don’t care if it is a romantic partnership, a friendship, co-worker, one-night stand, God, Goddess, or freakin’ Daemon; you must lay down boundaries or you will be nothing more than a doormat for someone else’s shit to be smeared when they no longer like the smell of it.

Lesson Two: Fear is the Mind Killer!! Yes, I did just quote Dune, and that statement is so true. Fear does nothing more than eat away at us slowly, crippling us from excelling on our path. I know this all too well because I used to be paralyzed by fear more times than I was free, and wild.

I rarely make decisions without well thought out plans. I cannot be random, I cannot be spontaneous, I cannot because I am scared; scared of the unknown, the what ifs, the could be’s.

But, being scared is not an option. Fear is not an option.

I fear this human experience more than anything else because it has never made any sense to me; Daemons make sense to me. It has been through my interactions with Daemons that I have learned to appreciate and fully live this life. I used to get so caught up in fear, especially the fear of failure that I couldn’t see how much I have succeeded already; I could’t see how every moment of life is an opportunity to succeed at something; big or small, all we have to do is be aware enough to take it.

There is no place for fear on a path to Ascension, and Transcendence.

Lesson Three: Ego is a Poison, Use it wisely!! I can’t stress this enough, ego and hubris can kill you. I think that at certain points in our lives, and in times of internal battle ego can prove to be our greatest ally or our most devious enemy; we are taking a 50/50 chance every time we step into the Magickal arena.

I prefer to feed my ego in small doses. I used to think that dropping the ego altogether was the only way to go but, as with everything else, the ego serves its purpose, too.

You see, Daemons have taught me that I am but a bug to them, while I may have superior reign while they are on my plane of existence, to think that I am above them or know more than them, is a recipe for disaster; I know because I have seen the aftermath, and had to clean it up. I believe I am equal to the deities I work with, I show respect at every point in the process, but I never allow my ego to get in the way, or theirs for that matter.

There are so many misconceptions about Daemons, and what it is like to work with them. People think they require blood sacrifice, “your Soul” or some other extreme in order to have their attention, but we have their attention naturally; they are as fascinated, and at times as disgusted with us as we are with them. Some of us have learned to walk among them as they walk among us, some of us are even Blessed enough to have their blood flowing through us. Some of us are even grateful enough to call them family, and Kindred Spirits.

We are so much more than flesh, blood and bone; we are stardust, and divinity, chaos and calm; we are everything, and nothing; none of these realizations would have come to me without the tough love of the these amazing Divine beings.

It is because of them that I have found my God; that God is me.

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

Sofia Ajram

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein


I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes.  I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.