F*CKING: Screw Your Definition of Sacred

Matthew Gaynor

Image: Matthew Gaynor

“Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.”

Charles Bukowski

It seems since the page has taken a different route lately that I am being met with a lot of resistance, and back lash from my readership; both males and females alike have been up in arms over the sexual content and discussions happening regularly now.

Quite frankly, I’m shocked.

I am not new to the blogging/writing world, or being an Admin and I am most certainly not new to the concept that people don’t agree with everything I post but, to see people so upset over sex, and sexual articles on an Occult page is baffling.

I thought, overall, that we were a pretty open-minded community to all kinds of taboo topics, lifestyles, and desires; even though we need to do some serious work within the community about accepting our own.

Have I underestimated my fellow Witches and Occultists, or have I just been blessed with meeting some glorious douchebags?

I wrote a little rant on the page recently, and a blog a few weeks ago that touched on this topic and I thought for sure it would die down but, it’s only gotten worse.

One comment that was made twice has been ruminating:

“The Admin of this page is promoting empty Spiritualism by promoting Whoredom. There is no such thing as a Sacred Whore.”

First of all, I was offended.

I don’t “promote” anything; I tell my story from my perspective with a splash of practical advice and interesting articles I find along the way.

I have stated MANY times that I don’t want people to think like me, therefore what do I promote?

Whatever. I let that part go but, empty Spiritualism?

There is nothing empty about me,

Or my page.

Let’s make one thing clear: Consensual Sex is always Sacred.

Yup, even drunken one night stands; the boring, the passionate, the sloppy, the kinky, the sweaty and everything in between—it’s ALL Sacred.

You can give it pretty names like “making love” or “physical union” or you can simply say fucking–either way, it all originates from the same place, and it truly is all Sacred.

Let us not forget the emotional part though; different types of sex do require different emotional responses and sex is an amazing outlet to express oneself.

I debated with one guy who commented and his rebuttal at one point was, “by commercializing sex (ie. Sex work, prostitution, etc.) and engaging in casual sexual activity that it took away the sanctity of it all.”

I couldn’t disagree more.

Sidenote: sex work is work and I fully support sex worker’s rights.

There are many facets and layers to sex, sexual acts and sexual desires.

Sex is not “one size fits all”.

As stated in posts before if there is suppression of emotional, physical or Spiritual trauma that is causing the sexual promiscuity or perversion, if you will, then the issue needs to be addressed so that you can heal and move on.

But, if you happen to just really like sex, if you happen to just like multiple partners, or kink, or orgies, or anything else that your heart desires simply because it feels good and it is what YOU WANT TO DO, then more power to you!

To be inclusive, if you aren’t interested in sex and are a-sexual, or gray ace, more power to you, too!

Sex and sexual identity are complex issues.

Back to my point, the thought that I’m promoting “empty spiritualism” is crazy…

True spirituality is found in living, breathing, and becoming our most authentic self; one could say that Nirvana could be reached by this very practice.

Our truest, most authentic self is the pathway to our higher self which is the gateway to ascension.

Maybe my authentic self is being celibate for now or forever, maybe yours is one partner, maybe someone else’s is fucking the whole neighborhood; we each experience sex differently and no one way is the right way.

Our sexual Self is our primal nature embodied; it’s one of the rawest, truest forms of expression (this part is key which is why I said it twice).

As for commercializing sex as said in the comment, I don’t see a problem with it. People have exchanged sexual favors for money/goods/status since the beginning of recorded human history.

Let me point out that I am not including the horrific practice of sex trafficking (obviously) nor am I suggesting that there is no such a thing as forced prostitution; something that is very dangerous for the worker.

My keywords here are: safe and consensual.

I am talking about the fact that there *is* such a thing as safe, consensual sex work (regardless if it is illegal or considered immoral by some standards).

And, I personally do not think that money being involved takes away from the act being Sacred.

Since when does Sacred mean unity with one other person under specific circumstances, candles lit all around, and chanting some Ancient hymns?

Why can’t someone’s Sacred be wild, passionate fucking and/or multiple partners?

We all get off on different things, and I think that just like sex, Sacred is subjective.

When we start to force yet another stereotype of how we “should be” we lose sight of who we are.

We all judge people to one degree or another it’s human nature but, we really need to get over ourselves and stop judging people for their sexual desires and what they choose to do as a consenting adult.

Judging someone based upon the type of sex they have is self-righteous, sanctimonious, and rooted in superiority; not to mention it’s none of our goddamn business.

To sum it up, sex is energy, Sacred energy at that; energy may change but it always remains.

Certain situations make the energy more potent than others but it’s Sacred, even when it makes you uncomfortable and challenges your moral compass.

If you are projecting your morality on to others, something tells me your true motives need to be brought to light and questioned.

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.”

Oscar Wilde

 

SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!: How Self-Entitlement is Ruining the Craft

RJ Muna

Image: RJ Muna

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.”

C.G. Jung

Shame and I have a longstanding deep rooted relationship; it started to blossom in my childhood, and continues to grow throughout my adulthood.

I was an opinionated girl who is now an outspoken, loud Woman, for some unknown reason that intimidates people. I know exactly what I want, and that also intimidates people. I don’t rely on others because they have *always* let me down, so now I do it all by myself; which is not only intimidating to others, it seems to be threatening to them. As if my independence has any effect on their dependency.

I know my sexual power, wants and desires, regardless if I am sexually active currently—this sexual liberation will always intimidate people.

I have been shamed for my strength, but shamed for weakness, too. I have been shamed for being a slut, while also being shamed for being a prude. I have been shamed for personal evolution, and shamed for remaining comfortable.

I was called fake because I changed and I will never understand that. I grow, I evolve, my mind expands and so does my way of thinking; how is that fake?

How is personal evolution and growth shamed? How is finding a “good place” in life a bad thing? How is that shamed?

WHY is that shamed?

The how I have yet to figure out; where people get their sense of entitlement from is beyond me, but I know the why, which is: jealousy.

Does all shame stem from jealousy? I kinda think so.

Shame also comes from fear and ignorance, and when you mix the three together the combination is explosive.

So imagine my surprise when I started to venture into the Pagan and Occult community and found shame in abundance among my peers. Often directed at me with pinpoint accuracy.

Whew, was I hit with it all…

“You’re too dark.”

“You’re a shitty person if you cross/jinx/hex people; only evil Witches do that.”

“You are fluffy if you heal people, only Wiccans bother with that shit.”

“A Luciferian? So, what, you worship the Devil?”

“Daemons? You work with Daemons? I would never do that; I am not selling my Soul.”

And the list goes on, and on.

Few communities are more divided than the Witch community. Why *are* we so divided? Why are there stories that plague us with talks of “witch wars” based on jealousy, and exclusion based on being “too dark” or “too light”?

Why do we judge people based on their Magickal comfort zone and experience as opposed to who they are as a person?

I feel like judging someone based on what kind of Magick they practice is like judging them by what clothes they wear. Surely we can agree that in almost every case making assumptions about someone based upon what they are wearing will not be a reflection of who they are.

For example, those within the Goth community (probably) would agree that they are much more than “pale skin and black clothes”.

Making generalizations about any group of people has never turned out well and if you need proof of that just take a look at history, or even our current state of affairs.

The point is, you cannot judge the entirety of a person’s character on one aspect, or detail of them.

Can the same not be said about Magick?

It can in my case.

If you are to judge my morality and personal character off the Magick I practice, you will be wrong every time.

Where does this sanctimonious behavior come from? A behavior that I have been guilty of myself; I have many times scoffed at people for being Wiccan or what I deemed “fluffy”.

In hindsight I don’t regret it but I wouldn’t do it again.

I am trying to be consciously aware of such petty behavior in myself, and my hope is that in the future I will not display such ignorance and naivety towards my fellow Witches, or any group of people for that matter.

I want you to sit back and think about all of this for a moment.

I want you to personally think of the reasons why you are a Solitary Practitioner because a solid 90% of my readership are Solitary like myself.

I am willing to bet that somewhere on the list is shame. Most likely you were drawn to an alternative Philosophy because of shame, and then drawn into the seclusion of Solitary Practice for the very same reason.

Shame is a disease and we need to rid it from ourselves, and our community. There is nothing productive that comes from making another person feel bad for their actions, lifestyle or behavior.

There is nothing in the judgment of another that will help the collective; it only furthers the divide.

We should try and understand people, and why they do what they do; from behavior and Philosophy, to love and eating habits; there are personal reasons behind everything we do, both conscious and subconscious.

We should not and do not have to partake in a lifestyle or Magickal practice that we are not comfortable with but we also should not and cannot judge another for theirs.

The human condition is something we all have in common and no aspect of this experience should be shamed from a lack of understanding. We are in the age of information and technology, there is no excuse for being a judgmental, ignorant prick.

The shame inflicted on another is an issue rooted in yourself—take a long look in the mirror.

Sympathy for our fellow Witch will make us strong; sympathy for our fellow human will make us unite.