Taroting Depression: The Magician

The Magician Tarot Card from the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham and Abigal Larsen

The Magician is our first step in the journey of the tarot. He is the all-powerful wizard who understands that nothing can be manifested that doesn’t include all four elements: earth, air, fire, and water.

The Magician speaks of “as above, so below” and we see this represented in the Rider Waite- Colman Smith deck as he stands with his wand pointed to the sky and his other hand pointed down to the earth.

The Magician surrounds himself with the tools of his trade and his table is laid out in preparation for his next ritual. What magic is he about to conjure?’’

At first glance, the Magician may appear to be irrelevant to those of us who live with Depression, but take a closer look and we can see that the Magician has a great lesson to teach us.

The phrase of “as above, so below”, is often followed by “as within, so without.” The lesson of the Magician is simple. To obtain the outer world we want to have, we need to fill our inner world with the things we want.

Let me put it another way. If we want to live a life without the demon Depression on our backs, we have to create an inner life that is in tune with that.

Easier said than done, though, isn’t it?

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. 

Now, we can go the affirmations route but personally, I’ve never been a fan of the “fake it until you make it” theory. To me, telling myself something I don’t believe is completely pointless. 

Sometimes, starting the affirmation with “I believe I am becoming…” can work, but only if you believe it’s possible and when you have Depression, it’s very hard to believe that anything rather than despair is possible.

To me, it makes more sense to aim for something that I believe is possible for me to achieve. Once I do that, I can set my next goal, and on it goes. The Magician can help us do that.

The Magician reminds us of what’s possible. And when you’re struggling with Depression, you need to be reminded of what’s possible.

Let’s see what the Magician has to tell us.

Wooden gate in a leafy garden

  • Sit, or lie down comfortably, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. And another. And another one.
  • Imagine yourself standing in front of a wooden gate. You open the gate and walk through
  • Take notice of what’s going on around you as you walk. What can you hear? What can you smell? What can you see? Is it a sunny day? Cloudy? Night or day? 
  • As you continue your walk, you can see a tall, robed, figure standing off in the distance, behind a table set with a tablecloth and a number of items.
  • As you approach the figure, he winks at you and beckons you forward so that you can see what he has on his table. 
  • The Magician asks you to choose an item to take back with you.
  • You take an offering from the table.
  • What is it? What color is it? What shape? What size? What’s it for? How does it make you feel? What’s it’s magick?
  • When you’re ready, you thank the Magician and walk back down the path you came.
  • When you reach the gate, take three deep breaths and then walk through.

Take out your journal and write down all the events of your walk and meeting with the Magician. Be as descriptive and detailed as possible.

Take another look at your gift. What about it reminds you of your Depression? What about it reminds you of something or someone that you love? What about your gift gives you hope?

Try not to give these questions too much thought, just go with the first answer that enters your mind. That’s where you’ll find your “as within.” At the end of this exercise, you’ll have an aspect of Depression that you can work on healing from, and a person, activity, or thing that you can reconnect with to bring you even a tiny amount of pleasure. You’ll also have something to hope for.

Come back to this exercise as many times as you feel the need to and if you’re really struggling with it, leave me a comment and I’ll try to help.

Tarot Deck used is the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham and Abigail Larsen.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

Lessons in Magick: The Primordial Howl

“When silence is held, mystery is revealed.” Karina Blackheart

  1. To know
  2. To dare
  3. To will
  4. To keep silent

Silence is one of a witch’s greatest powers. The fourth point in the pyramid of power, its position on the bottom of the list is not indicative of its importance, but more a profound function. It is a gift which holds deepening, a fierce wisdom, and transformational authority so sought by many but growing ever more elusive in our overly verbal society. Less about keeping secrets and far more focused on the assimilation of the three previous tenants, there can be no divine evolution of self without the limitless void that silence provides. For early Scandinavian and Norse societies this pregnant darkness had a name, Ginnungagap.

On old maps, Ginnungagap was often used to represent the boundaries of the known and the unknow world. An empty position full of possibilities and endless wonder, it held space for all things and nothing simultaneously. Spiritually it is the “gaping void” which holds only pure magical force within it. The liminal link between the end of one world and the beginning of another, it is the pregnant eternity that germinates the essence of evolution and creativity. No divine beings exist within it- the chaotic harmony of nature suspended in the womb of the dark mother. Not a place that can be entered through sheer will, it must be surrendered to and allowed to absorb us completely for its essence to be accessed.

In the ancient void of Ginnungagap, a singularity, or undefined point, catalyzed or burst into existence. This occurred in an incomprehensibly finite amount of time, and scientists have theorized the temperature was 100 million trillion trillion kelvins (180 million trillion trillion degrees Fahrenheit). I know that temperature looks like something a toddler would use, but the heat was far too intense for our basic measurement systems. The profound power of Muspelheim tore through the void and within seconds the expanding universe had cooled enough for subatomic particles to form atoms through nucleosynthesis, an incredibly nerdy term that sets my heart on fire! This authentic primordial soup of dense, (think 400,000 times as dense as water), matter provided the foundation for the great scream as Ymir, the first crude chaotic consciousness awoke.

Ymir’s silent scream, ushering their birth, emulated after the collision of the primordial fires of Muspellheim and ice of Niflheim, resulting in the first vibrational components of this universe. A hermaphroditic giant, Ymir was the first being and represents the extreme chaos which supports creation. Noise is created by sound waves propagating through a medium, typically air, therefore the “big bang”, as it is colloquially known, was a silent event as there were no such molecules for sound to travel through at the time. The first proto molecules did not form for another 400,000 years.

Nuclear resonance is responsible for many kinds of atomic nuclei that exist today and is critical to the fusion reactions that facilitate simple atoms into more complex ones. Particles can propagate from the vacuum of empty space if blasted with the right frequency hard enough as they resonate and dance within their quantum fields. Such a profound sparkle of vibratory creation bursting from the pregnant void. Light proto gas particles became the matrix for gravitational waves to proliferate, resulting in ripples through spacetime. Such liminal waves, Ymir’s scream, still echo throughout the universe today, but are obscured by the crackle of more recent events such as the merging of neutron stars and black hole collisions.

Silence is not a placeholder for power.

The vacuum of space is not empty simply because you cannot conceive of its geometry. The magic of the deep well does not offer its secrets surrounded by unrelenting chatter. Only through seeming emptiness and the intensity germinating within the temporary suspension of chaos can primordial wisdom burst forth. Some of the most powerful manifestations result from the cultivation of the silent howl. The ability to wield intense energy internally without yielding a flicker or minute sound to reveal your intention.

The most important part of music is the space between the notes, the peak of the sound wave before it ascends, the pauses in the echo of the reverberation of spacetime.

Recede and claim your full potential.

Jenn LeBlanc | Linktree

_________

References:

https://www.quantamagazine.org/how-the-physics-of-resonance-shapes-reality-20220126/?fbclid=IwAR1YNEa1lhOd-Vb7YgcCbcViCVGlQJ-ciGDw7ktLlUBpEf8KI5UPRn5Gv6I

https://sciencing.com/temperature-universe-during-big-bang-4822.html

https://www.space.com/661-sound-waves-left-imprint-universe.html

https://phys.org/news/2020-12-technique-sift-universe-gravitational.html

Völuspá (voluspa.org)

Musings of a Modern Mystic: Quiet Observations

I’ve never considered myself a torchbearer or of anyone with great importance.

I’m more like a wallflower, hiding behind the vines so I’m not seen. I’ve spent a lifetime living in the shadows, diagnosed young with ADHD, diagnosed in my early 30s as being on the autistic spectrum. And all together struggling to be understood and to communicate in a way that makes sense to the outside world. My thoughts are often jumbled and my words are a storm of confusion to the uninitiated.

I’ve always seen the world differently, heard the wind through the trees differently, the harsh notes of the world always ring strangely to me. But I suppose that is neither here nor there. There is nothing particularly special about me. I’ve never been good with divination. Because of my trauma, my intuition really doesn’t work all that well, but to be a witch, you’ve got to be good at those two things. I’m not and I don’t feel like I need to be in order to follow the path set before me.

I think my gift is seeing what no one else wants to speak about and I’ve spent a long time being afraid of speaking that. What I see is communities in trouble, what I see is safe spaces being turned into boxes to be checked. If you don’t feel or think the same way about blank, then you do not belong. Art that is supposed to be subjective is no longer subjective.

You’ve got to think and feel the same way about it. And before you say that isn’t true… I’m here to tell you it is because it’s happened to me. I was told I was wrong for not feeling the same way about a movie. What’s the big deal you may ask? The big deal is we can’t discuss things anymore without being told we’re toxic and wrong for having different thoughts about things. I’m not even talking about the big things like transphobia, sexism, racism, bigotry… we can’t even feel differently about small things without someone being offended.

The very people who told us we could be individuals are the same people gatekeeping what is allowed and what isn’t. I’m part of many different communities and this problem is in all of them. No one is talking about how unbelievably toxic these spaces are becoming. You are free to be who you wish as long as you fit into certain boxes and you check off certain tallies. No one is talking about how dystopian we are becoming as a society. How can no one be alarmed about this? How can no one see the storm coming beyond the horizon? If we can’t even discuss the little things, how can we discuss the big things?

I’ve seen all sides dehumanize one another, insult each other like children, and overall just be completely hateful and none of it changes anything. You cannot educate through hate. I don’t think a single person gives much thought to someone’s point if it’s filled with any of those things. So if it doesn’t work on you… why would it work on them?

If everyone is unwilling to budge, then how does anything change? All sides trying to silence each other by being louder don’t seem to be working and I feel like we’re running out of time. I don’t know the answers, but I know if we don’t figure out what the answers are together.

We will all fall together.

RANTINGS OF A MAD WITCH: The Great Divide

Leaves 2

 

“The human body resonates at the same frequency as Mother Earth. So instead of only focusing on trying to save the earth, which operates in congruence to our vibrations, I think it is more important to be one with each other. If you really want to remedy the earth, we have to mend mankind. And to unite mankind, we heal the Earth. That is the only way. Mother Earth will exist with or without us. Yet if she is sick, it is because mankind is sick and separated. And if our vibrations are bad, she reacts to it, as do all living creatures.”

Suzy Kassem

I don’t identify as Pagan so writing a post that has been inspired by Pagan community issues is ironic, and that point is not missed by me.

As the world spirals out of control due to Government policies not in alignment with or appropriate for modern, progressive times, among other things, our system becomes further and further unbalanced with an “us vs. them” dichotomy.

This divisive narrative has bled into all areas of life.

And, yes, that includes Magick.

I always looked to the Witch community for inspiration.

For hope.

I sought out my Brothers and Sisters in Magick when the world got me down; it was my escape.

And, as socially and politically aware as I am, perhaps that escape became blinders.

Note: For clarification, I use the term Witch broadly in the context of this piece, and in general; I don’t use the term Pagan broadly (even though many people do) and I’m aware that by definition my practices are Pagan. We will unpack that mess another day. I also know that some Practitioners of African Diasporic Traditions, for example, do not identify as Witches, or practice Witchcraft. They are still and always included.

Carrying on…

Over the last several months I have noticed how deeply divided we are within the Witch community, and I must admit, it was surprising to me.

I know that many of my readers will say they are not shocked at my epiphany as they have experienced division, elitism and, often, racism first hand, but I thought we were better than this.

It’s important to point out that I stick to myself in pretty much every way possible; I have never been part of a Coven, or organization. I am not initiated into anything, and don’t believe someone must be in order to be taken seriously. On a mundane level, I’m a loner with a tight inner circle and extremely close familial connections.

I am a seeker and follower of the Old Ways, my path is my own and my research is endless, vast and deep.

Leaves1

I consider myself to be super introverted, and us introverts know the one thing we do better than hiding is observing.

I notice everything, so how the divide in the Witch community was missed by me is something I must reflect on myself; no outside opinions necessary, or welcome.

It all started slowly, too–the realization, I mean.

First it was certain groups using Norse symbolism and Asatru teachings taken out of context to promote (white) nationalism, and racism.

Then it was white Witches excluding WOC (Witches of Color) from Witch spaces, or worse, talking for them instead of allowing them to speak for themselves.

Then it was white washing deities and/or using them out of context (ie. etymology of words/names and traditional lore must be considered); a blonde Kali threw me over the edge.

I have watched Witches’ pounce one another for “pulling the race card” simply because they wanted to have a conversation, an honest and open dialogue about what it means to live with brown skin in this world, in these times AND be a practicing Witch (again, all inclusive term).

Intersectionality is important—it’s the keystone of progress.

I have watched as Witches called out sexual abuse in the Pagan community only to be attacked in every way possible for daring to have a voice.

I have watched Witches improperly lash out because they are too scared to face their own traumas; Shadow Work is essential no matter what path you walk.

I have watched people use mental illness as an insult, or suggestion that someone’s behavior is because they are mentally unfit; this is dangerous for so many reasons.

I have watched people gather like a group of ‘Mean Girls’ and judge the witchiness of another to somehow validate or invalidate their practices and experiences.

I have watched Indigenous traditions stolen and exploited over and over and over again.

It goes far beyond the use (and misuse) of Sage, too.

I have watched as people were told they couldn’t practice a tradition because they are not the proper ethnicity.

And, trust me, I speak up, I speak up all the fucking time and I am shut down or attacked as people project onto me.

I have witnessed white folx being told they can’t practice Hoodoo, Haitian Vodou, New Orleans Voodoo or any African Diasporic Tradition in general because they don’t have African Ancestry.

The folx (gatekeepers) telling them this are the same folx who say that all people come from Africa (which they do).

Here’s a link for your reading pleasure, and my sanity.

You can’t have it both ways though.

We are either an inclusive community or we are not.

YES, black Witches, and black people in general, deserve to have spaces for themselves where they are represented authentically and unapologetically, by themselves.

And, YES, there are many traditions that ARE NOT up for the taking by outsiders because they are rooted in culture as well as practice and tradition (ie. being immersed in it day to day with your physical presence and time).

I DO NOT believe that as a white person everything is available/accessible to me, but when it comes to Spirituality, Spiritual practices and what resonates with the Soul, the lines get blurred really fucking quick, and it’s important for ALL parties involved to acknowledge this.

Respect for the path we walk, and education for the tradition we follow is key, in my opinion.

Leaves 3

I have watched white Witches tell black Witches they cannot venerate Norse or Celtic deities, or any Anglo-saxon group because they themselves are not white; that they will not be accepted because they are black.

I have only met a handful of Spirits who gave any flying fucks about race; generally, they just like to be honored, and most Practitioners, regardless of tradition, will agree with me on this.

It boils down to respect and education, as aforementioned, but also intent.

Another point, colonialism and how it continues to affect this country, and the world is a tricky, tricky subject and one of great complexity.

This of course affects our community.

Racism, sexism and sexual abuse in the Witch community are topics that must be addressed, and folx it’s going to suck for all parties involved.

White privilege is real. White supremacy is real. The patriarchy is real. Racism is real. Sexual abuse disguised as enlightenment or ritual is real.

We as a community cannot expect change on a grand, global scale, like so many of us truly want, if we are unable to see the issues among ourselves.

We cannot resist the system that wants to obliterate our existence if we aren’t even strong enough or brave enough to have the difficult conversations.

Yes, some white feelings are going to get hurt in the process, but imagine the generational trauma that POC must work through?

And, no folx this is NOT SAYING that white people don’t have generational trauma themselves.

Comparing the two is a false equivalency (another reason Intersectionality is paramount).

Our community is better than the actions of a few and I know that, but what I brought up here has moved far beyond just a few people.

How can Witches be a force of resistance, a force in the resistance if we can’t unify on the most basic shit?

How?

WITCH, PLEASE: The Art of Not Giving a Magickal F*ck

Eyes

image source

“When we dislike someone, or feel threatened by someone, the natural tendency is to focus on something we dislike about the person, something that irritates us. Unfortunately, when we do this–instead of seeing the deeper beauty of the person and giving them energy–we take energy away and actually do them harm. All they know is that they suddenly feel less beautiful and less confident, and it is because we sapped their energy.”

James Redfield

For the last few years Shadow Work seems to be my entire existence; whether it is battling through my Shadow, the collective Shadow or helping to guide others through their’s, Shadow has been ever present all around me.

I am so aware of Shadow Work that it became a Course for The House of Twigs: School of Ritual.

A lot of people seem to think that because there is a beginning to our Shadow journey that there, too, must be an end.

But, is there?

In my opinion, no.

Just like I believe our Kundalini awakening to be a life-long event, after the Serpent’s initial rising, I believe Shadow Work is also life-long.

Once you have seen, tasted and existed within the depth of Shadow, there is no going back to the shallows of mundane life.

There is no more smiling through fake bullshit to avoid conflict or confrontation; there is no more biting your tongue to make someone else comfortable; there is no more apologizing for taking up space in this world; there is no more playing small in any regard.

Shadow Work demands us to step into ourselves and our power because the most important keys to collect on our journey dwell in abysmal places.

There is no more pretending because our Shadow simply does not allow us to do so.

There is no room for lies, masks or inauthenticity, only truth.

Shadow Work is about the understanding and acceptance of ourselves and our feelings, thoughts, emotions, actions and desires.

The key to this gritty work is honoring the less positive aspects of ourselves and our nature and learning to reconcile them.

panther

image source

I am going to digress for one moment because there IS a point I want to make with this piece, but you need a bit of backstory.

I have written about Witch Wars, and how ridiculous I find them to be; often they are meritless, ego driven temper tantrums with Magick involved, and they can be disastrous for both target and Magickian.

The target could potentially be faced with a Magickal attack; the Magickian will have to deal with the excessive use of energy, and if casted with too much uncontrolled emotion, they will have to deal with what I call “Magickal kickback”.

It isn’t karma or some three-fold law, it’s the idea that if our intentions are not clear, our mind not focused, and our aim not precise, the energy created could bite us in the ass.

I can’t believe I am about to use a gun analogy, but it’s effective for painting the picture.

A gun is a weapon, it can be used for protection and defense, but at the end of the day, it’s main purpose is to maim and/or kill; in many ways this is how baneful Magick should be viewed and respected (think of it as a last resort, not a first option).

Some of the higher-powered guns on the market have serious kickback (recoil) and can even blow your shoulder out of socket if not held properly.

So, yeah, you could still hit your target and harm them, but you also harmed yourself.

Get it?

I have seen the degree and frequency of Witch Wars lessen in recent months, but what has taken its place is almost as bad.

There seems to be a lot of petty gossip, evil eyes and hate being thrown around.

And, it’s all meritless; just like Witch Wars.

When we don’t like someone, why do we have to dramatize it?

Why do we have to become the victim in our own narrative to justify not liking someone?

When I don’t vibe with, or like someone, I am honest with them and myself about it.

I have had it backfire in my face a few times because people really can’t handle not being liked; it’s as if they would prefer the drama and gossip just so they can have something to hold onto.

“Well *this* is why they don’t like me. That bitch.”

Otherwise, they just can’t accept it.

I have had people try to ruin my career because I was open and honest about not vibing with them; I clearly explained my feelings, wished them well, and they still wanted to bring me down.

Talk about petty.

There are tons of things in life I don’t like, and no one ever asks for in-depth, psychological reasons as to why.

There are certain foods, clothes, textures, seasons, animals, crystals, herbs, you name it; there is literally SO MUCH that I don’t like, and it’s accepted without question.

When it comes to people though, we can’t just say, “Oh, yeah, I know them, we aren’t friends; just didn’t get along but I wish them well!”

It simply isn’t accepted.

People start digging, fishing, stirring and conjuring to the point where sometimes we take on this created drama as our reality.

What sense does any of this make?

Key

image source

And, this is one of the keys to not only Shadow Work but to Magick:

It’s okay to choose yourself over others.

Read that again: own it, accept it, live it.

Then understand this:

It’s okay to admit you don’t like someone.

It’s okay to not quite know why, either; always go with your intuition– your first instinctual thought.

I’ve become friends with some of the people I didn’t initially like; I’ve talked about my theory of this many times in the past. As a defensive reaction, I don’t usually like authentically strong Witches upon first meeting.

On the flip side,  I’ve seen my intuition nail the character of a person to a T and without exaggeration, it saved me.

Everything is energy, and Witches are some of the most energetically complex creatures created; to expect that we will always get along, and like one another is naivety at its finest.

To protect yourself, your space, and your Magick, you must be choosey with who you allow to get close and see your inner workings of Self.

Accepting that it’s okay to not like someone because their energy rubs you wrong is the epitome of Self Preservation.

Talking shit and projecting your insecurities because you don’t like someone, or they don’t like you, is the epitome of childish.

There’s enough space for us all to exist.

I generally am polite when confronted by people asking why I don’t like them, why we became distant, or why I won’t accept their friend request; I try to always be consciously aware of the words I use with others because, in truth, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

So, I lessen the blow with positive affirmations, and then lay it on them that our energy just doesn’t compliment each other’s.

But, the clear and simple answer is:

Because I don’t have to.

I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

I don’t have to like you just because you like me, or because we have mutual friends, or interests in common.

I don’t have to like everyone, and neither do you; it’s unrealistic to think otherwise.

We are responsible for the protection of our energy.

We are also responsible for the words we speak and actions we carry out.

Ask yourself,

Are you proud of your words and actions?

Are they warranted?

As Witches we are even more responsible for our words and actions than the average person because we carry Magick.

We ARE Magick.

And Magick can both heal and harm.

Choose wisely.

(Thumbnail Image: Marius Sperlich)

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

Sofia Ajram

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein


I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes.  I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.