Lessons in Magick: The Power of Signs and Omens

Rachel Baran

Image: Rachel Baran

“It is your omen, only you know the meaning. To me, it is but another star in the night.”

Gerald R. Stanek

Witches, Mystics, Cunning Folk and Wild Women (People) have used signs, and omens to guide and help direct them in life since the beginning of time. The mentioning of and superstitions surrounding these otherworldly messages crosses many cultures and traditions; varying only slightly between them.

It is extremely important to pay attention to the signs, and follow them with an open heart but it’s equally important to know when the signs are not yours to follow. And, you absolutely need to know when it is NOT a sign at all but simply a result of cause and effect.

The latter is super hard for me, personally, to grasp.

I put a lot of faith in the Universe, and I know that sounds crazy coming from a Luciferian but it’s true. I have lived my life following signs and they have never led me astray, until recently; the delivery of these false signs was through hard, painful lessons (all dealing with the same subject matter which is the greatest sign of all). As I write this in fact, the wounds are still open.

It’s a healing process, a learning process, and a shedding process. It’s a process that requires faith in Self with equal parts determination and stubbornness.

Yes, I have wanted to quit when signs revealed to me an answer I did not like.

Yes, I have been angry when signs took me down an entirely different road.

Yes, I have been sad when the signs were not there at all, or when I followed them and they turned out to be nothing.

Even then, though, everything IS something, even if it’s just an experience, or an opportunity to lift your heart to the sky and say “fuck you, I have been hurt, burned and beaten but here I am, I continue to show up and show out. You can’t and won’t defeat me”.

For clarification purposes when I say Universe I use it as an umbrella term for the Universe as a collective, primordial energy, my deities/Spirits, and Ancestors—kinda like, everything not of the physical world. And, even then I refer to signs from birds, animals and nature as the “Universe speaking to me”. We will get to that though.

So, WHAT are signs? How do you know when they are for you? How do you know when the lesson is learned? SO many questions, right?

Let’s start with the basics.

For me I define signs as messages from the Universe (definition above), they are little bread crumbs from Spirits and Guides letting us know what we should or should not do.

For example, my Grandparents are both passed now and they talk to me through old black and white films, sounds crazy, I know but it’s true. There will be a compulsion to watch a movie, and then it will be playing on TCM (the channel I would watch with them for hours) and during it, certain words will sound distorted, or will be louder than others and often the word correlates with what I am physically doing, or thinking about at that time. They usually correspond with number sequences on the clock, too, and phantom scents in the air.

I don’t (often) subscribe to the concept of coincidence, which is probably why it’s hard for me to grasp that sometimes stuff happens and there really is no reason for it.

Life sucks and so I *know* that shit, does indeed, just happen; I still want to believe there is a reason, though, no matter how messed up.

Is this Denial? Hope? Ignorance?

All of the above?

I don’t know but it keeps me curious, and it keeps me going.

You will know a sign is for you because you will FEEL IT in your gut, it’s incomparable and no, it cannot be confused. I know that some of the more logical folk out there will suggest that we cause ourselves to “feel” whatever it is we want. Or, conversely, we cause whatever we subconsciously fear, and are bending reality to fit into those boxes. I see the point in this train of thought and logic should always be taken into consideration but when you are communicating with the Universe, there is no confusing it and there is no applying logic to it.

Signs are everywhere and they are obviously not all for us, but they most certainly surround us.

You will know when a lesson is learned because you will stop finding yourself in the same repetitive pattern. Life is cyclical and it is NORMAL to have periods of time where you find yourself in a rut, or stuck in a pattern of behavior; this does not always mean there is some major sign to be seen, it could just be the ebb and flow of your life. If you find yourself stuck for a long time, or unable to get out despite your best efforts then the Universe might be testing you.

The further you venture on your Spiritual path the more you will come to understand the difference between normal “life shit” and what is Spiritually motivated or induced. You will also come to know when the lesson is learned because you will feel it lift off you.

Here are some of the most common ways the Universe talks to us:

NUMBERS: The Universe is nothing but one big mathematical equation, so it makes perfect sense that it would use numbers to communicate with us. You can start by reading up on Angel Numbers—don’t let the title fool you, even if you don’t believe in Angelic beings, the breakdown of Angelic Numbers by Doreen Virtue and Sacred Scribes will help you tremendously (as they have helped me). It is also good to start understanding numbers and their role in Tarot, Numerology, and Astrology. Don’t overwhelm yourself, start slow and with the numbers that you are seeing the most—the message you need to see/hear will show itself. Listen to the feeling in your gut.

SCENTS: As mentioned in previous blogs our sense of smell is one of our most useful senses because it can trigger some of our deepest memories. Have you ever wondered why you smell something so simple like a light perfume or flower, even a food cooked a certain way and you were transported back to another time? Smell is a powerful indicator of energy, and depending on the smell, can tell us a lot about our situation. Always pay attention to phantom smells: who do they remind you of, where do they take you, where is your mind the moment before the scent appears, how long does it linger, how strong is it, etc.

DREAMS: Our dreams reveal to us a lot about what is going on within. It does not matter if the dream is prophetic in nature, a vision or travel of some sort or simply because you ate that extra piece of chocolate too late—dreams are the easiest way for our Spirits to communicate with us because they can access the Dream state, as we can access the world beyond the veil through our dreams. I keep a dream journal, and try to encourage everyone to do the same. It doesn’t have to be fancy, and to be honest, it’s usually just written on the memo pad of my phone but it’s important to notate what sticks out in our dreams. I cannot tell you how many times I have had a dream, and written something down, knowing damn well it made no sense to me, only to have it make complete sense later. Don’t doubt yourself, and write it down, no matter how ridiculous it seems; it will pay off later.

ANIMALS: This is a big one and refers to my comment in the beginning about the Universe speaking through animals and nature. I find that messages come to me a lot through birds, and spiders. In some cultures, birds represent Bird (or Animal) Medicine (mostly Indigenous cultures) but in other cases, the species of the bird (or animal) is the message itself. Here is an article I came across regarding the 15 most common animal messengers. Pay attention to how you feel when you see the bird or animal, what are you doing, what is going on in your life at that moment, what are you trying to manifest—these questions factored in with the basic symbolism of the animal will reveal to you what you need to know.

SYNCHRONICITY: This is those little moments where you experience intense déjà vu and you find yourself having moments of alignment. Examples, you think of someone and they suddenly call or text. Your manifesting abilities become more potent, and your intentions become clearer; abundance and prosperity come flowing into your life (no this does not mean money). Synchronicity is the Universe telling you that you are BECOMING.

These are just a few of the common ways the Universe communicates with us, you just have to be tuned in enough to hear it.

This is a hard path and I know sometimes the signs and lessons are harder but they are all worth it.

It’s always worth it.

Never regret the choice to wake up, never wish to go back to sleep.

Always trust the process.

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

Sofia Ajram

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein


I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes.  I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.

Let It Be

b27ccb90ba13cbb6210175263703b00a

Image: Natalie Drepina

“I’m a free spirit who never had the balls to be free.”

Cheryl Strayed


Life has been handing out the blows lately, and it has caused me to detour from my set path. I am not the type of person who can take things day by day, a bit of a control freak, and I need to have things mapped out in order to feel comfortable amid the Chaos. I also am a Cancer, and we tend to like things in our personal lives, and environment to be something we have control over.

I have no control right now though, none. I am just spinning round, and round, and round some more.

There was the death in my family last week, followed by me dodging a proverbial bullet with my career, and I am being bombarded with people seeking help. I have no problem helping people, the problem is just that; I want to help everyone, and forget about myself.

I allowed myself to slip through the cracks while I was helping everyone else.

After seriously straying from my daily routine this week, plus falling victim to many random happenings, I needed to take today and have it be a day for me. It started out a little rocky because I am passing, or dealing with, a kidney stone. I have had that sucker living inside my left kidney for almost 2 years, and it picks this week, of all weeks, to be a bastard. It’s ok though, nothing I can’t handle, just venting about the poor timing.

Carrying on…

So, after a bit of time being distracted by the news, and my phone, Facebook in general, I put my phone on silent and decided I was going to watch a movie. I turned to the movie channel, and almost without thought I scroll down to the movie ‘Wild’ starring Reese Witherspoon.

I love movies, I have always loved movies—all genres. I don’t know if it is because I am artist so I appreciate all artistic mediums or if I just really like to spend two hours of my life watching a story be told on the screen. I have no genre I like more than another, although I am a bit partial to horror and old black and white films. How weird, right?

Since I saw the previews of this movie, Wild, last year I have said I needed to watch it. For one reason or another, every time I sat down to do just that something came up or something stopped me from being able to take time away. Today was the day, and the timing was ever so perfect.

On top of being off my routine, the cosmic energy in the air pummeling me, and my health, I had a nasty run in with some dude over the fact that I said a fallen Angel could be a guardian. I won’t even give that whole situation the attention he wants. I had a huge blowout with a close friend, and life just seems to be changing and stagnant at the same time.

How is that? How is it that the rug feels like it has been ripped from under me but I still feel suffocated?

When I am sick like this my mind becomes even more of an enemy of mine because I can’t fight it, I can’t channel my insanity into creative energy. This movie was the perfect distraction.

If you are unfamiliar with the film it is about a young woman who after living a tormented life has decided the only way to get her shit together was to “walk back to wild”. She choose the Pacific Crest Trail, which is a hike that goes from the Mexican border all the way up to the Canadian border. It is a story, true story at that, told over a 3 month time frame.

It took a little adjusting for me to get into the movie, but once I was hooked I began a deep descent into a well of epiphanies.

The first quote to hit me like a brick to the face was a poem called ‘Power’ by Adrienne Rich:

‘Living in the earth-deposits of our history

Today a backhoe divulged out of a crumbling flank of earth

one bottle amber perfect a hundred-year-old

cure for fever or melancholy a tonic

for living on this earth in the winters of this climate

Today I was reading about Marie Curie

she must have known she suffered from radiation sickness

her body bombarded for years by the element

she had purified

It seems she denied to the end

the source of the cataracts on her eyes

the cracked and suppurating skin of her finger-ends

till she could no longer hold a test-tube or a pencil

She died a famous woman denying

her wounds

denying

her wounds came from the same source as her power’

Read that part again, “She died a famous woman denying her wounds, denying her wounds came from the same source as her power”.

It was like my ears had perked, suddenly I had to listen, and I couldn’t look away. I knew there was a lesson to be learned in this movie.

A few scenes later another amazing little quote jumped out at me, “You gotta find your best self and hold onto it.”

We search this whole planet our whole lives to be a version of ourselves that a majority of the time is not true to who we are. Even when we think we are being true to ourselves, we aren’t. Society tells us that we are not to be different, or stand out, that forces you outside of the herd.

I guess for a wolf like me being outside of the herd is exactly where I belong.

I sat and watched this movie, and reflected on my own life. It hit me suddenly and it came out in a cleansing cry, it was like a whisper in my ear saying…

“No one is killing you but yourself.”

I start projects and don’t finish them, I get motivated then get sidetracked only to come back to it at a later date. I make a decision and fail to stick with it because my heart is as deep as an ocean, and I feel everything to the bottom of it.  I fear making decisions so much that I will try to avoid them altogether; even betraying myself. I allow love to be my Master, and dominant me even when I should be begging for mercy.

I know all there is to know about myself, and because of this knowing of Self I know that I am also a magnificent, beautiful, intelligent being who is going to succeed no matter how many pitfalls I stumble upon, or how many rocks are thrown. I was built for this, and succeed I will.

I have talked about my need to get back to my Wild before, but now it has become a dire situation, I must find my Wild because the alternative—well, there isn’t one. I refuse to be tamed by a society that considers me a black sheep no matter what I do.

Don’t let them tame you.

I will leave you with the quote from the movie ending…

“What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I’d done something I shouldn’t have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I’d done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn’t do anything differently than I had done? What if I’d actually wanted to fuck every one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn’t have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed?

What if I already was?

How wild it was, to let it be.”

The Bee’s Knees

irving penn - bee 1995

Image: Irving Penn

“The bee’s life is like a magic well: the more you draw from it, the more it fills with water”

Karl Von Frisch


We aren’t granted many full circle moments in life, and I myself have only had two that I can readily recall. I think that for a seeker, or anyone really, having a déjà vu moment, or a moment where the entire Universe seems to have aligned itself upon your arrival is what our quest is all about. It doesn’t matter if it is a certain turning point, situation, choice or change, it’s like the Universe is opening up for us, blossoming, welcoming us home while encouraging us to test our wings out.

This, my friends, is what I believe just happened to me.

Before I get into the meaty part of this post I want to say that I stopped writing about my dreams, and visions because after I was criticized for my writing, I became discouraged. I am not ashamed to say that, either. I think it takes a certain strength to admit such a vulnerable feeling like this, and I think it takes even more strength to do what I do: rip open my soul to bleed through my words.

I felt unworthy because I allowed the words of another get into my head, but I learned a lesson in it all, and I was able to really think about myself, and my writing. The question I posed to myself was, “Why are Christians who have vision’s considered prophetic but any person, from any other belief is labeled “crazy”? Why do we accept one more than the other?

I know the answer, this is more rhetorical than literal. I am open to constructive criticism but when others start to reach the destructive form of criticism that is when I have a problem. I refuse to remain silent because of the judgements or opinions of another person, I have fought for too long to get to where I am to have some jackass stop me now.

I am a Seer, I have always seen, and I always will. I do not care to, or have to prove this to anyone. My visions are very much a part of my everyday life, and they make me who I am.

With all of this said, off my chest and cleared out of the way, I am going to now get to the point.

For a few months I was not sleeping well, then I got new pillows, new bedding, and a padded mattress cover, along with a mattress foam topper and needless to say I haven’t had any trouble sleeping since. Now that I have been able to get some sleep my dreams and visions have started again, not to mention my health and grumpiness have both improved immensely. It’s a journey, and I am still working out the kinks of incorporating my spiritual life, and philosophy into my mundane life; it’s a long process, but one that will pay off in the end.

During the months of no sleep I could feel how badly the other side was trying to contact me, and they were making their point with overwhelming number sequences. On June 23rd I had one of the most vivid visions to date.

I was in a garden that was as vast as the cosmos; it looked like flowers and trees just fell off the edge into Oblivion, the stars were so bright, so bold, and vibrant that I felt like I could just reach out and touch them. The aroma of flowers was intoxicating, and my nose tickled with the touch of pollen. There were all types of creatures, and Fae were flying about.

Then suddenly I heard someone call out, “Noir…” as if the voice itself faded into the wind, it continued in repetition a few more times and I followed the voice to a massive tree covered in bee hives, with swarms of bees all around it, and what can only be described as waterfalls of honey; an intimidating site, Astral or not.

I began to walk to the tree and I saw 6 different Archetypes of the Goddess all greeting me: Diana, Neith, Hekate, Baba Yaga, Inanna, and Celeste. I started walking closer to them as they lay in the shade under this cosmic tree, and a bee landed on my right hand, it was instinct to swat it. As I lifted my hand I saw the broken, dead body of a little bee, and Inanna made her way over to me, and said, “Bees are signs from us, they are sacred, they are the Divine feminine. Do not fear them, do not kill them. When in fear, be still, my child, forever, be still.” Then she touched my hand and the bee was fixed, and flew away. She said that humans and bees are much more connected than most think, and one simply cannot exist without the other.

I woke up the next morning with the smell of flowers still in my nose, and the first thing I did was look up symbolism of bees, and deities associated with bees. I was blown away at the information I found, but what blew me away even more was what happened while I was looking up this information; I was messaging back and forth with an admin of another page and he said to me in the middle of a conversation, that was definitely not about bees or my dream, “I am the bee keeper.”

I started to hear bells in my ears, and taste honey in my mouth; I knew in that moment that the Divine Feminine had heard my cries and she has come to take her claim back over my mind, body and soul.

Here is what I found…

“The Mother Goddess is the oldest deity in the archaeological record, and she is often manifested as a dancing Bee. In the ancient world, dancing Bees were special – the Queen Bee in particular, for she was the Mother Goddess – leader and ruler of the hive, and was often portrayed in the presence of adoring Bee Goddesses and Bee Priestesses.”

“Sumerian physicians considered honey to be a unique and vital medicinal drug. It has been suggested that the Sumerians invented Apitherapy, or the medical use of Honey Bee products such as honey, pollen, royal jelly, propolis and bee venom.”

“The ancient Egyptians also venerated bees.  The agricultural, nutritional, medicinal and ritualistic value of the Bee and its honey was important in Egypt from pre-dynastic times onwards, as demonstrated by the fact that King Menes, founder of the First Egyptian Dynasty, was called “the Beekeeper”; a title ascribed to all subsequent Pharaohs. Additionally, the Kings administration had a special office called the ‘Sealer of the Honey’, and Kings of Upper and Lower Egypt bore the title “he who belongs to the sedge and the bee”. An image of the Bee was even positioned next to the King’s cartouche.”

“The Egyptian Goddess Neith is the Bee/Mother Goddess.  She was a warrior goddess with fertility symbolism and virginal mother qualities; all attributes of the Mother Goddess – and the Queen Bee.”

“Neith was known as the Veiled Goddess, and thus the reference on her temple inscription to ‘lifting a veil’ is intriguing, for Bees are often called hymenoptera, stemming from the word hymen, meaning “veil winged”, representing that which concealed the holy parts of a temple, as well as the veil or hymen of a woman’s reproductive organ. Only later did the veiled wing become associated with the goddess Isis.”

“Hilda Ransome informs us; “The title Melissa, the Bee, is a very ancient one; it constantly occurs in Greek Myths, meaning sometimes a priestess, sometimes a nymph.” This is an important observation, for the tradition of dancing Bee goddesses appears to have been preserved in a form of Bee maidens known as Melissa’s – or nymphs, and Greek deities such as Rhea and Demeter were widely known to have held the title. Additionally, the Greeks frequently referred to ‘Bee-Souls’ and bestowed the title of ‘Melissa’ on unborn souls.”

Read more, here:

http://romancingthebee.com/2012/05/13/the-bee-as-symbol-of-the-divine-mother/

“We can gain clues to bee meaning by observing the hive. A bee’s home is made of tightly packed cells in the shape of hexagons. These cells are made from beeswax, and the structure as a whole is called honeycomb. The hexagonal cells of the honeycomb stores food, and is also an ideal place for bees to raise their young. I’d like to hone in on the hexagonal symbolism of the beehive/honeycomb. Hexagons are comprised of six sides. The number six is symbolic of love (six is a sacred number for the goddess Venus), communication, balance and union. So, regarding the home (hive), the bee is a symbol of wholesome child-rearing, love within the family, domestic stability, harmony and open communication among family members. When the bee visits us, it’s often a message for these family themes…an encouragement to open healthy communications within the family, reevaluate the home, and family. Bees remind us to focus on the nurturing of our family, community and support groups.”

“Bees continue to be a symbol of unified family when we learn about the queen. Worker bees elect a queen, and take special care of her until she matures. All the members of the hive work together to support the queen. They do this in order for the queen to insure new life, and continuation of the colony. This is symbolic of a family working together for the benefit of the group. It’s symbolic of teamwork too. The bee often comes to us when we need reminding that there is no “I” in “teamwork”. When the bee pays us a visit, we may need to self-evaluate. Are we more concerned with being “right” or having our own needs met than being concerned for our community? Bees in our awareness might be telling us to sacrifice our own needs or pride for the needs of others in our lives.”

“Bee meaning is connected with honey. Honey is a bi-product. Bees ingest flower nectar, partially digest it, and then regurgitate it within the comb. Not only is it used to feed baby bees, it’s uses in human history are phenomenally diverse. From sweeteners, to anti-bacterial agents to even embalming agents (Egyptian mummies), honey has been a prized product of bees for centuries. Symbolically, honey represents nourishment, reward, sweetness, sensuality and wealth. Honey is associated with gold in many myths and legends. This equates it to reward achieved after an arduous undertaking. As bees are ceaseless in productivity, the lesson translates to mean something like: With hard work, we earn the gold.”

“In Egypt, the bee was a symbol of royalty and power. This comes from the legend that the bee was born from the tears of Ra, who was an important sun god among ancient Egyptians. Furthermore, the ruler of Lower Egypt was often referred to as “He who belongs to the Bee.”

“Essene were a communal people who were devout to Judaism; they’re known for their role as keepers of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Essene priests were referred to as “bees” because of their integral role within the community, their tireless devotion to God and their faith. In effect, Essene priests were busy as bees keeping the spiritual wisdom within the community available and protected.”

“As a symbol of love, bee meaning was associated with Cupid during Renaissance paintings. Bees are depicted stinging Cupid, the god of love and desire. The artistic symbolism deals with the blindness of love, and leaping into passion without regard to consequence. Apparently, Cupid is often shown dipping into honey, without thought to potential danger of protective bees. The Renaissance lesson here is “Beware of love’s sting.”

Deities associated with bees:

Cybele: Greek mother goddess, to whom the bee represents fertility.

Diana: Roman nature goddess, to whom the bee represents continuation of life (pollination) and beauty.

Demeter: Greek earth goddess, to whom bee meaning deals with provision and harvest (honey) .

Krishna: Hindu god who, when the bee is depicted with the lotus, represents reincarnation.

Shiva: Hindu god who, when the bee is shown upon his forehead, means luck, transformation and peace.

Ra: Egyptian sun god, to whom the bee represents vision, creativity and wisdom.

Read more, here: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/bee-meaning.html

Epiphanies from an Insomniac Seer

Manuel

Image: Manuelestheim,DeviantArt

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

Jarod Kintz


I write about my experience as an insomniac often, it is actually during these times that I figure the most out about myself, about my life, my feelings, and things to come. The trouble with insomnia mixed with a dash of Divine madness is that the insomniac is a tight rope walker, and at any given time can drop and fall into a pit of emotions that one was not quite ready, or equipped to deal with. I think being able to function after an entire night awake, or even several nights awake; as is the case with me, is an art form. I truly mean that, when I tell people, especially my Doctor’s how long I stay up the looks on their faces are priceless. The response is always the same, “I don’t know how you do it.”

Because I don’t have a choice.

It really is that simple, as much as I love my time awake, I would love to be able to sleep once in a while. It has gotten to the point where I am finally willing to undergo the sleep study to prove to my Doctor that it is not sleep apnea. I have none of the symptoms of sleep apnea or of being distressed during sleep. I do not have high blood pressure (I did at one time, though), I do not have circles or bags under my eyes, I do not snore, I do not wake up gasping for air—because I don’t fall asleep! I don’t have excess inflammation in my body, I have had the tests done. There, literally, is no medical reason for me staying awake.

I just do. I just am.

I think being awake and staying awake are two different things, though. I am awake, I don’t even get tired anymore, and the 3 valerian root I take at bedtime do nothing anymore for sleep, although they do help with my anxiety. I take tinctures, and drink herbal teas. I meditate, and have even tried to masturbate, and still no sleep comes. So I finally just surrender to it, and since I surrendered I am much less stressed over not sleeping. I think once you accept something, it just is, there is no need to worry about it because it is already figured out. You know?

I also think that awakened Souls, specifically Witches, Occultist’s and Seekers, vibrate on a different frequency than others, we are influenced by planetary shifts, and the moon phases. Why, you ask?

Because we have accepted that we are part of the Cosmos, that we are part of the grand scheme of things, and that this life, this current experience is but a blip on the radar, a literal, moment in time.

I think acceptance is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves; the hardest, but the greatest.

When I was a teenager my Mom told me something that has never left my mind, even when I didn’t understand the true meaning. She told me, “A great deal of life’s happiness comes from accepting what is, instead of dwelling on what isn’t.”

A truly profound statement reading it now, in my current mood, and mind frame. I knew the depth of the statement, but it wasn’t until I started to put it into practice that the full effect was seen and felt.

Last night was night number 4 with truly no sleep, and usually this would cause darkness, and a heavy emotional state, but this time it hasn’t. I have accepted that my body, my mind, just don’t want to sleep. I do miss my astral adventures, but I have found that the visions, and sight during the day have become much stronger. I think that is what they are trying to show me, they want me to focus on my other forms of sight, not just what I see on Astral.

Cue alarm bells in my head.

Before I went to sleep I sprayed my room with lavender, put the nighttime calming cream on, took my California Poppy tincture, drank my sleepytime tea, and took my 3 valerian root. For any normal person they would be knocked out, but for me, I lay awake for hours. My mind has stopped racing as much at night, and this is a recent development.

I just am there, awake, experiencing the world while everyone else sleeps. A surreal time, for anyone, but I feel particularly for me.

The entirety of last night was strange, it started when I checked NR’s Facebook page, and at 11:11 I received 999 likes. Now, I usually would smile at this, but it wasn’t funny last night. I feel defeated that I am just awake, doing nothing, feeling nothing, unable to process anything. I try to get up and write, or color, watch TV, read, something, anything, but nothing helps, I get bored and/or frustrated and the feeling of defeat comes over me, and I just surrender. When I surrender I feel their eyes, which in turn gives me an uneasy feeling because some of these eyes are not ones that I am used to, and as you guys know, I am not very welcoming to new guests.

Even still, I lay there last night tossing and turning until suddenly I had this intense urge to get up, “GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!” I heard from the darkness, and I felt an actual push on my back. I open my eyes expecting to feel something, or see something, but nothing was there. I checked the time, and kid you not, it was 3:33.

This same feeling happened when I got up at 6:03. It’s like an energy is pulling me, making me acknowledge these numbers. When I do there is nothing there, so I just acknowledge the Universe now, and say how grateful I am. I mean, what else is there to do?

As I sit here now, at 9:36, another powerful symbolic number, I feel like I am existing in two places, like a piece of me is somewhere else. I can see her, hear her, feel her, and whatever she is doing is causing a huge vibration, a shift in my current consciousness. The weird thing about all of this though, is I am calm, I am not anxious, or frustrated. My emotions have not even plummeted into the darkness, which is usually the case.

I’m just here.

Awake.

If you would like to read about any numbers mentioned:

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2012/08/angel-number-1111.html

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2012/04/angel-number-999.html

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2011/08/angel-number-333.html

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2011/10/angel-number-603.html

http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2012/02/angel-number-936.html