Lessons in Magick: Witchcraft Saved My Life

Daniel Waschnig​

Image: Daniel Waschnig

“The first time I called myself a ‘Witch’ was the most magical moment of my life.”

Margot Adler

This story has been simmering in the cauldron of my mind for years.

Perhaps because it has never really been about religion.

It has always been about power.

Who we give it to.

Who we take it back from.

And the stories we’re willing to tell ourselves about who—or what—saved our lives.

The inspiration for this piece arrived, as many things do, in the middle of the night.

Insomnia.

A television glowing in the darkness.

Infomercials.

Preachers.

Testimonies.

One after another, people stood before the camera proclaiming,

“God saved me.”

“Jesus changed my life.”

“Without Him I would be dead.”

I listened.

Not with judgment.

With curiosity.

Because I’ve heard these stories my entire life.

And while I respect that many people find comfort, meaning, and healing within religion…

I couldn’t help asking myself another question.

What if they saved themselves?

What if God was present…

but so were they?

What about the years of therapy?

The oncologist who spent a decade learning how to save lives?

The surgeon.

The nurse who never gave up.

The addict who woke up every morning and chose sobriety again.

The woman who rebuilt herself one impossible decision at a time.

Why are we so uncomfortable giving human beings credit for their own courage?

Somewhere along the way we’ve been taught that acknowledging our own strength is arrogance.

I don’t believe it is.

I believe it’s accountability.

It’s ownership.

It’s remembering that miracles often arrive disguised as ordinary people making extraordinary choices.

I can only speak for my own path.

And mine did not lead me to a church.

It led me into the forest.

Into silence.

Into Shadow.

Into Magick.

I’m often asked what Witchcraft has given me.

The answer is simple.

Everything.

Not because a spell solved my problems.

Not because the Universe handed me an easier life.

Quite the opposite.

The Craft demanded everything from me.

It stripped away every illusion I had mistaken for identity.

It asked me to look directly into the parts of myself I’d spent a lifetime trying to outrun.

My grief.

My rage.

My fear.

My power.

Especially my power.

Because that’s the thing no one tells you about Magick.

It doesn’t save you.

It introduces you…

to the version of yourself capable of doing the saving.

Without Magick…

I would be dead.

Not metaphorically.

Not poetically.

Quite literally.

The Craft didn’t rescue me because it made life easier.

It rescued me because it refused to let me lie to myself any longer.

Every initiation demanded another death.

Every death uncovered another truth.

Every truth asked me to become someone I had never imagined I could be.

People often think Magick is about changing the world around you.

I’ve found the opposite.

Real Magick changes the world within you…

until the outer world has no choice but to follow.

Once you’ve truly witnessed Magick

not performance,
not fantasy,
not wishful thinking

but the slow, relentless Alchemy
of becoming…

there is no returning
to who you were.

The old self
simply no longer fits.

That is the real initiation.

That is the real spell.

Not because we were chosen.

Because, again and again,

we chose ourselves.

Blessed Are The Witches.

 

Life Lessons: A Grand Epiphany

Sofia Ajram

Image: Sofia Ajram

“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking”

Albert Einstein


I have been an addict for as long as I can remember, since the moment my eyes made contact with paper I knew that words were going to be my chosen substance. When I was 17 I discovered one of the grandest words of all: epiphany. I didn’t know at the time how important this word was, or is, I had no idea the advice being given to me in those halls of my high school, a moment that seems like lifetimes ago.

There was a teacher who taught Economics and Latin, he was an older gentlemen who can only be compared to being “my favorite book”. He was full of stories, and tales, equally funny and tragic, the depths of that man and his intelligence knew no bounds. My senior year happened to be his last year teaching so he was freely giving away bits of coded knowledge as if asking us to pass on his legacy and let him live on; a point missed by most of the robots I went to school with. If I were to transplant Mr. B back in time, he would have been a little old man, nose stuck in a book in the halls of the library of Alexandria.

In my free time (study hall or what was known as “free period”) I would seek him out to have conversations about the Occult, or politics. He was a Catholic, most of the town was, but he was very much into hidden or forbidden areas of knowledge (which made me like him more). I mean the man spoke fluent Latin “just because”. He was a very interesting being, and I was sad to hear of his passing not too long after I graduated in 2002.

During one of my last conversations with him he told me something that seems to mean more to me the further into the Abyss I go. He said, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity.”

Let that simmer in your mind for a second, for those who would like to look at the definition while allowing your thoughts to collect, here you go.

“An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is an experience of sudden and striking realization.”

Read that again, “an epiphany will give you clarity, or insanity”. I mean if there were ever a time for me to use the expression “mind blown” it would have been then, like right in that very moment.

As I heard it roll off his tongue, per my usual nerdy self, I said, “That’s a fun word.” After going to look up the actual definition I tucked the word into the back of my head, and hoped that someday I would be able to experience such a moment.

Never did I expect my life to be full of these moments, some greater in magnitude than others, the number only increases as time goes by; I suppose in hindsight that I have had many grand epiphanies in my life, I just didn’t realize them at the time. That itself is a lesson to be more present, to appreciate all the moments of life.

An epiphany when you are present and aware is in a league of its own; when you are aware of a moment of enlightenment, a moment when a paradigm shift suddenly happens and it shatters everything you thought you knew, there are no words to describe such a feeling. It’s like the Universe opens a door, pushes you through and closes it behind you, forcing you to accept the change, to make the move–

Forcing your hand in this proverbial chess game that is life.

Life is so funny, I feel like each day I come closer to understanding how utterly comical this existence is and that lesson is part of the reason I am here in the flesh to begin with. I am such a serious soul, I take everything seriously; the world, people, animals, feelings of others, the “bigger picture”–everything is serious business with me and it has always been like that. I laugh with the best of them, and I often find myself to be a sarcastic asshole, but overall, I am straight faced, lost in thought, or wandering off to a quiet place so I can analyze in solitude.

In my most recent analysis it was revealed to me that major changes needed to be made, and once these changes were made abundance would come to me. I took the opportunity of the recent, powerful Full Moon and decided to make those changes effective on that date, and man, oh, man has it turned into a snowball effect of prosperity, growth and illumination.

I have become motivated again, I have sold vials and earrings, I have made all the necessary steps to be a real business owner, and the legalities are taken care of. I have also begun the ridiculous process of photographing my inventory for my online shop.

It isn’t just the tangible or business side of things, it’s personal, too. I have found a great group of friends, most of whom were standing by my side the whole time but I was too blind to see, others are newcomers who I feel were sent to me so we could grow together; so we can empower each other.

I am learning to trust friendships, and people, but most importantly I am learning to trust myself. I have let go of past regret, and accepted future mistakes.  I have learned that Divine madness and enlightenment are true partners in crime. I have learned that I can do this because I am doing this. I have learned that I am stronger than I know, and that my heart is a goddamn warrior. I have learned that my intuition is the only opinion I need to be concerned with, and haters are of abundance these days. I have learned that I am the only person I need but it’s nice to have company on this journey, and it’s ok to fall because in the fall you appreciate flight so much more.

All that really matters is I have learned and that is the grandest epiphany of all.

In-To-Me-I-See (Intimacy)

Celebrations of Sensuality by Artfold

Image: Dani Fehr (ArtofDan)

“It is when you lose sight of yourself, that you lose your way. To keep your truth in sight you must keep yourself in sight and the world to you should be a mirror to reflect to you your image; the world should be a mirror that you reflect upon.”

C.JoyBell C.


Last week’s full moon in Capricorn has completely shifted my life, in every way possible. I normally am effected in a negative way during this time of the month, which I call my “lunar menses”. I guess since I no longer have my period, the Universe had to give me something to fill the void. This time around though I was reflective, introverted and blocked. As I sit here and write this I am still battling to break through the blockage. Only a writer will understand what it’s like to battle with oneself, a conflict that is never ending but without it, we die.

I think we all can benefit from moments of self-reflection, only when we see ourselves clearly can we begin to see anyone else. I have always seen myself, I have always seen who I was and who I wanted to be, I never needed definition, or approval from others; I have always been self-sufficient.  In recent months I have lost my independence, my sass, my attitude, my voice, my heart, my passion..

I lost myself. I lost the very traits that make me, me.

I lose myself when I become comfortable, when I neurotically attempt to control the chaos. Nothing good has ever come from being comfortable, though; a motto I once held in life, in love, in sex, in my career, everything. That piece of me seems to have drifted off into some netherworld, and I so desperately need to get it back.

I had an epiphany of sorts on Monday, and it was in a vulnerable moment in the bathroom, after my shower that I realized I needed to find myself, and it was becoming an urgent matter. I have to take the leap off the cliff and trust in myself, and my wings, to get me to my next destination in life. I thought I had everything planned out, but it looks like I am going to be rerouting my path.

I had taken a hot shower because my Kundalini was acting up, as it has been doing for a few weeks. It was business as usual: get out of the shower, wrap my hair in one towel and the other to dry myself off and wrap around me while I do whatever else needs to be done. Sounds harmless enough, normal enough, right?

Except the towel began to fall, in my bathroom, where only I was, in a house where it was only me, and I grabbed that towel like my life depended on it.

What the fuck?

The thing is, I am not a prude, a naked body does not bother me; my naked body does not bother me, hell, I sleep naked. Something else was going on here, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

After I had done my little kung fu move to avoid facing my nakedness, I purposely dropped my towel and I stood there in the mirror and forced myself to look at my naked body, a body that has been through so, so much.

I sat there and traced my scars, and caressed my imperfections, I got a good look at the ink on my skin that I never pay enough attention to, and then I forced myself to look deep within.

The tears began to fall, and they fell with a vengeance. I was full on “ugly cry” in my bathroom within a few minutes.

How could this have happened? How did it happen? What was I going to do to change it?

The answer is I didn’t lose myself on the account of anyone else, I lost myself because I was too caught up dealing with everyone else, along with the problems of the world that I forgot to deal with me. I disobeyed my number rule, which is to always self-preserve.

It’s easy to blame other people, but I can only blame myself. If anyone was allowed to affect me, or change, define or confine me (you guys know that is my favorite saying because definitions do confine) then it’s because I let them. People can only cage me if I walk willingly through the door. Again, I have no one to blame but myself.

On the full moon I did a little bit of grounding work, and then I sat in my room naked with incense lit, candles burning, and in the depths of darkness I waited, and waited, and waited some more. After about 2 hours of waiting, I heard her, faintly, but she was there. Then the warm sensation began, it was coming from my Heart Chakra, then slowly rising up through my Crown.

I could hear my inner voice starting to come back quietly then slowly increasing intensity. I sat and meditated for hours and became acquainted with my inner self and my body once again. I allowed the two to become one on their own accord. I got up and put some music on and began dancing in my room, it was inhibited at first, I had to keep reminding myself that I need to claim “me” back, my sensuality, my sexuality, and in this moment I need to let my body move freely to the music; I need my body to flow like water. And, so it did.

It was an intense, emotionally powerful, and extremely profound moment for me. I feel one again, I feel like all my pieces have been put in place, and all the words I was holding back from my loved ones have been brought to the table. I feel so much lighter, I feel so much clearer, and now that I have her back, even though it is an ongoing process, I will never let her go again.

I am my best lover.

Open Your Eye

Third eye

Image: Giga Kobidze

“The paradox of reality is that no image is as compelling as the one which exists only in the mind’s eye.”

Shana Alexander


I had an open forum of sorts and asked the followers on Dear Wicked what they would like to hear from me, or what they are looking for when it comes to topics we discuss. I have written plenty about myself, and I think it is time to start sharing some of the knowledge that I have stored in my brain. I would like to note that I am by no means an expert, and everything I write about will be from my personal experience and research that I have done. We are all individuals, and our experiences will be unique. I ask that no one compare themselves to anyone else because that is a path that will only lead you to disappointment or destruction. The topic of this first post is how to open, or activate your third eye. I would like to say that if you have to “force” your mind’s eye to open, then perhaps it is not the proper time to do so, you don’t want an adverse effect to happen.

The third eye, known as the pineal gland in the medical world, is “a small endocrine gland in the vertebrate brain. It produces the serotonin derivative melatonin, a hormone that affects the modulation of wake/sleep patterns and seasonal functions. Its shape resembles a tiny pine cone (hence its name), and it is located near the center of the brain, between the two hemispheres, tucked in a groove where the two rounded thalamic bodies join.” (Wikipedia) They continue to describe the pineal gland as the pineal body, epiphysis cerebri, epiphysis, conarium or the Third Eye, with the latter being the aspect most spiritually-minded people focus on. The gland itself is activated and stimulated by light, and it has been studied that just 15 minutes of daylight, or simulated daylight has a significant effect on the decalcification of the gland.  By the time the average person is 17 years of age, they have significant calcification, this is usually caused by fluoride in dental products, and municipal drinking water.

If you Google “how to decalcify your pineal gland” the results show page after page giving detox’s and herbs to help decalcify and awaken the gland. I am going to tell you guys what has helped me, and how I personally expanded my own consciousness by opening my mind’s eye.

The first most important thing to do to help reverse this process is to avoid products with fluoride in it. I think that for a lot of people this can be challenging because all public drinking water in the U.S has fluoride in it, and none of these water supplies are routinely regulated, thus there is not exact measurement only “guesstimates”. When we are children it is important for dental products that contain fluoride because it does help teeth. I have heard every conspiracy theory regarding this poison being put in our drinking water, and none of those water filtration systems remove fluoride. There are two kinds of drinking water that can speed up the process of decalcification and are fluoride free; distilled, and alkaline water. I have been able to easily find distilled water at my local grocery store, and Walmart. However, suddenly I cannot find alkaline water. I used to buy it in bulk when I would see it, but suddenly I can’t find any. But, it is out there. There is a company based in Brooklyn, NY called Wat-ahhh, and they carry a variety of “brain healthy” water. They have a website, check them out. As for the dental products, unless you have really bad dental hygiene, there is no reason for your products to have fluoride in them. When you are looking for toothpaste, and mouth wash just simply read the ingredients. If you really want to be gung ho about this, you can wash your fruits, veggies, and any other prep for food with the alkaline and/or distilled water. If you are cooking with it, not to freak anyone out but some studies show our food can actually absorb the fluoride.

Secondly, I believe our diet is the most important aspect to awakening the mind’s eye. This is my experience, and you may take from it what you wish. I have cut out red meat, I found that the vibrations were too heavy and lowered me down, even with a blessing while cooking, and before eating. I have never been a fish person, I do occasionally like Sushi. I do eat chicken, and pork but am very picky about the meat. I have a high protein diet, it is what works for me; I get protein from many other places than just meat. I think that you cannot have enough fruits, and veggies. They are perfect raw, steamed, grilled, baked, and any other way you can imagine, there are so many things you can do with fresh products, make sure to buy local. When it comes to produce, there is much debate over organic, and non-organic foods. This is the rule I have learned to go by, if you can buy from a farmer’s market, then go! I think it is great to support anything local. Also, you can talk to the grower! However, this is not something tangible for many people. If you can buy all organic then good for you, but if you can’t, then you do whatever you can do. I have learned that frozen fruits and veggies are easy for me being a city dweller. I put frozen fruit; berries and such, in the microwave for 1 minute, 30 seconds, and it makes this ooey, gooey goodness that I put over vanilla frozen yogurt. I also live by the rule that the brighter the vegetable is, the healthier it is for you. We can raise our vibrations simply by the food we eat. Stop that processed garbage, food substitute, “food like product” non-sense. Start reading labels, and controlling your portion. Drink water instead of soda, and try tea instead of coffee. You want your body to be as natural, and pure as it possibly can be. Also, can we please stay away from anything GMO?

While on this topic, let me bring up drinking. I personally do not drink alcohol, I used to but have since stopped because it just isn’t for me. I think that alcohol can be detrimental to our progress on the path, and does nothing more but destroy the body, and kill the mind. I suppose some people would say the same about the weed I smoke, I guess to each their own. You do what is best for you, but all in moderation if you want to achieve real progress.

My third suggestion is meditation, or some type of “quiet” time. I know that people have lives, and I know how hard it is to meditate. I have learned that it can be extremely beneficial. For me, meditation has always been a quiet time for me to reflect. I sometimes sit in lotus flower position, I sometimes lay down it depends on my mood. The ultimate goal is to silence the mind, get through all of the racing thoughts move past the doubts, the fears and all the chatter of the outside world. Try to get to a place where all you can hear is your heart beating, and breathing; the breath is the most important focal point for the mind, they should be in synch. I like to hold two quartz points, one inward in my left hand, and the other outward in my right. I find that even though I don’t particularly get along with quartz, this recharges me.

The next suggestion is lighting. Since the pineal gland is triggered by light it is important to stimulate the gland by getting at least 15 minutes of sun light per day. But, the trick is you are to “stare” at the sun. I am not suggesting staring directly into the sun and burning your retinae, I suggest looking in the general direction of the rays. If you are in a place where there is not a lot of sunlight, or your schedule does not allow you to get this recommended light, they do have simulation light bulbs. I have a “daylight” lamp and it does wonders for my mood when I am feeling really dark.

The final suggestion that I have would be using crystals. If you use crystals specifically for the third eye, it can be especially helpful. Your third eye is responsible for intuition, visions, premonitions, dreams, spirituality, and other so-called sixth sense abilities.  Placing crystals on your forehead (brow Chakra) while you meditate or, wearing them as jewelry, enhances your spiritual senses by opening up your third eye chakra. Some crystals I suggest are: lapis lazuli, moldavite, amethyst, apophyllite, Herkimer diamond and kyanite.

The key to waking up your third eye is to be as gentle to your body as you can be, be conscious of what you are putting on and inside your body, and take time each day for yourself. No matter how much preparation you do, nothing can prepare you for the moment that eye rips open.

That is when life begins.