SUCCUBUS: The Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

Anna Gorin

Image: Anna Gorin

“To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth—I count that something of a miracle.”

Henry Miller

This blog initially started out as a rant, a bit of a defensive article about the demonization of Succubi; I was hoping, am hoping, to shed some light on the wide range of uses we have outside of “Stealing sexual energy”.

Because this is such an important blog, and message, I have teamed up with my fellow Succubus Leslie Chepstow.

It is time the truth was set free, and it’s time the truth sets you free.

When people hear the word Succubus they think of a whore who steal Men’s sexual energy, or they conjure images of a scary She-Daemon who does the same.

Succubi FEED ON sexual energy, we do not always steal it. There is such a thing as consensual feeding—it comes in the form of a consensual, open minded partner.

Shocking, right? (Insert Sarcasm)

It seems like everyone in our community lately wants to act like Lilith is some goddamn trend, like she is the new “it girl” of the Craft but yet NOBODY wants to admit what she is: A ruthless, coldhearted, monster with an insatiable appetite. She is also Mothering, sexual liberation personified, and the epitome of a free Woman but please let’s not water her down like all the other Women in history—she has earned the fear she instills in others.

Respect that.

Leslie writes, The Lilith in me stands in the flames of truth, unashamed of who I am, stripped and naked of pretense. I will give you a chance to understand me but if you are so arrogant to think I am beneath you, I’m un-evolved, not equal–the Lilith in me says fuck you.

Everything is not all buttercups and rainbows. Sometimes its horror and abomination, rage without remorse. When Mother calls to me I tremble with anticipation. In fact, the synestheste in me looks forward to the color of unleashed rage splashed in my mind.

Ironically, it’s the darkest part of me that will do my highest calling.

We are multifaceted Succubi.

I care; I really, really do care about people, animals and entities. That is why I use most of the energy in positive ways but at the same time I absolutely do not give a single fuck about bad people, bad entities or negative energy in general.

I face my darkest self every. time. I go. to feed. 

It’s not glamorous.

These entities are hideous and full of negative energy. 

They have done some horrible shit and need to be stopped.

(One method is to seduce them, bind them and flay the energy from them. Then leave an empty space like a good dominatrix.)

Regardless, the energy eventually must be transmuted.

Which is why, contrary to popular belief, Succubi have something to offer this world.

We can take something utterly negative and horrific and turn it into something good through the power of Kundalini. Lilith teaches us the power of the Serpent and its ability to rule over all Beasts.

That’s why I take *pleasure* in stealing the energy from those negative beings; humans or otherwise.

These days for both Leslie and myself, it is “otherwise”. We both feed from entities—in diverse ways but we both feed from non-humans. That is what we call evolution; that is how you can be an Evolved Succubus. You would think people in the Magickal community understood that.

Now, let’s address some misconceptions about us and clear them up once and for all.

  1. Succubi crave power over Men: There is this common thought that we all think “men suck, I want to get even.” No men don’t suck—the Patriarchy sucks.
  2. I want to be a Succubi because it will automatically empower me; I will be like Lilith: For this reason, the glamorization of Lilith is dangerous; she is not here to hold our hand or grant us wishes. She requires, being a Succubus in general requires, grueling Shadow Work full of blood, sweat and tears. THAT’S the stuff that matters, the stuff that actually empowers people. Society has put too much emphasis on sex being a source of power and control that we miss everything else sexual energy can teach us.
  3. The so called Magickally Evolved, Sex Goddess, <insert any title> Women who are disgusted by Succubi:

Let’s delve into this deeper.

These women assume Succubi are unevolved, unethical, energy sucking whores.

But,

These are also the same Women who constantly write about embracing the Dark Goddesses and literally PRAISE Lilith. Do they not KNOW who Lilith is?!

For example, I posted an article the other day from the Fb page WITCH—“8 Signs that you are a Magickally and Evolved Succubus”.

Almost immediately a Woman who claims to be a “Goddess of Sacred Sex” came through and commented: “A Succubus is someone who steals other people’s sexual energy. Yes, very Magickal and Evolved.”

These are the same Women who would never judge a group of people as a whole, they judge people as individuals–on merit and not just assume shit.

So, why, whyyyy are these so called enlightened, evolved “Sacred Sex Goddesses” assuming such negative stuff about Succubi? It doesn’t fit their MO in other areas so why Succubi?

I think there is a deeper thing going on.

I truly believe they are hiding some sexual hang-up, some deep fear hidden in a sugar coat of assumption.

Why else would they treat Succubi different than any and every other group of people?

Throughout time Succubi have ONLY been written about negatively, sound familiar?!

Witches, anyone?

Let’s talk about the double standard that we see, too.

Do you ever see male Vampyrs talked or written about negatively (Sanguine or Incubi)?

Oh no, plenty of people know of, write about and love male Vampyrs but us female Vamps, we are “whores who have no ethics and are notorious man stealers”

The hate directed at us is ***always*** from Women; the disinformation spread is always from Women.

It’s like the Patriarchy seeped into their brain or something.

Women tear us down, lump us together and throw us all in the same goddamn fire. We are excluded from so much within our very own Witch community because people refuse to understand.

So, we either suffer and keep our truth to ourselves (Why hide aspects of who we are? We are proud to be this way!) or we suffer the deafening solitude.

The solitude is great and all but, feeling like I am starring in Mean Girls most days fucking sucks.

How do we feed?

We take energy and change it into a luminous pure energy during the cleaning fires of orgasm and then we use this pristine energy to heal people/places/things/animals.

Leslie writes, When I worked in this plane I would find a willing human energy donor and then use the energy to heal horses. Now that I’ve completed my goal in this plane, I’ve moved on to another plane; I, like Jaclyn, feed from negative entities. I use the same method to clean the energy but depending on the entity the energy can be immense. The excess energy is given to Mother, for the “war” and I believe she sends it out to her daughters that need healing. And I keep some of the energy for myself. People like Jaclyn and myself had to become Succubi. We expend a massive amount of energy because of our level of Magick.

The point of this blog is to show people that we are not all monsters, of course there are some in the bunch who abuse their power but that is with ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.

Aspects of us are Monstrous but Maternal; we want freedom, and liberation for all beings.

The real issue is that the world is terrified of strong Women; especially strong Women who are sexually free, and empowered.

We stand proudly in our fire of truth, in our power of sex, and do the jobs that require real sacrifice and Shadow Work while others skim the surface.

This is who Mother created us to be.

This is who we are:

Not superior, just refusing to be treated inferior.

SUCCUBUS: How I Discovered I Was a Sexual Vampyr

katerina-plotnikova-2

Image: Katerina Plotnikova

“Sex is an emotion in motion.”

Mae West

When people hear the word Succubus they automatically think of Lilith, and from there the opinions split; on one side, we have those who think Succubi are nothing more than Women and She-Devils who are out to abuse, manipulate, and feed off unwilling, and unknowing participants. On the other hand, we have those who understand energy Vampyrism (in all its forms) and that many of us apply a code of ethics and morality to our lifestyle.

If I can go off track for a second and refer to my blog about Psychic Vampyrism (a trait I also carry).

From my experience, not all Succubi can feed on both Psychic debris/energy as well as sexual energy. We each seem to be very particular about what we feed on, and how we do it.

There are also Sanguine Vampyrs who incorporate blood but I will not get into that because a.) I am not Sanguine and therefore don’t feel comfortable talking about their lifestyle and b.) Sanguine’s are secretive like no other because of the stigma attached to their practice. You think Sex Vamps have it bad, try being a “blood sucking Vamp” and it gets a lot worse.

They don’t have some weird fetish with blood, at least not generally speaking, they just happen to receive energy that way. I look at it like this, if their participant is willing and not being abused, then no one is in any position to judge adults partaking in taboo acts. I think this goes for all alternative lifestyles.

I feel like my entire fucking life is taboo, and that is why I try so hard to see all points of view no matter how radical, or archaic they seem to me.

Anyhoo…

I talked about Psychic Vampyrism getting a bad rap, and that many of us are truly misunderstood healers.

Of course, as with every group of people, there are good ones in the bunch and there are bad ones in the bunch, you can’t clump us all together. I would not clump all Luciferians, or Satanists together, nor do I clump all Witches together. I know that while we may have things in common we are still very much individuals in every way, and our experiences, no matter how parallel, are subjective, too.

I bring up Psychic Vampyrism because just like them, Succubi either generate complete fascination, or total disdain. Again, completely misunderstood.

I can’t speak for every one out there, duh, and I say that frequently; I just want to tell my story because I get asked questions about this all. the. time.

I am certain some of what I write will raise eyebrows but fuck it. Right?

When I say that I have always been connected to sexual energy, I mean it quite literally.

I remember, and my Mom has backed it up (how embarrassing) that I was masturbating at age 4, and very much in tune with my body. It was much more than just “curious touch”. I remember reaching orgasm at age 6, and from then on nothing was really the same; it’s like a switch flipped.

Some kids had their blankets, and favorite toys, while I masturbated for comfort, insomnia, and as I quickly found out, energy.

I know how this sounds, and I can hear the “you need fucking therapy” comments already.

I have been to therapy, and had many breakthroughs. To be clear, I was not shown how to masturbate, and was not a victim of sexual abuse until I was 8 going on 9; looking back on it and drudging it up in countless therapy sessions as mentioned, the abuse didn’t victimize me.

In a sense, it fascinated me but also made me feel angry and dirty; emotions I couldn’t reconcile until I was older and understood what consent was. Without consent, it’s assault. No one at that young of an age should be experiencing sexual touch with any partner; it should, for obvious reasons, be a solo act. Children are off limits, to everything. Parents should talk to their children about healthy touch and experiencing their own bodies, and not shaming them for it. Talk to any Doctor and they will say, masturbation is normal (probably not at such a young age as myself, but it is normal and nothing to be worried about).

To the surprise of many, including myself, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18. When I was in High School I was going through so much at home, both mundane and Magickally related that boys and sex were just not on my mind like they were my friends’. I had crushes but, they were based on quirks I saw or because a guy was smart, not because he was hot, popular or a good lay.

Once I had sex though, it was as if I had opened Pandora’s Box.

I was not shy, or timid, even during my first time; I remember it hurting so bad that it turned me on even more; the very beginning of my journey down the Masochist rabbit hole.

I enjoyed being dominated but also fighting for dominance myself and afterwards all I could think was, “This is one time, and one guy, imagine what else is out there.”

For many years, I unknowingly was feeding every time I would have a sexual encounter, which was frequent. Sex made me feel empowered, and strong but there were some partners that made me feel heavy; I was taking on their demons and didn’t even know it.

It was not until I encountered a fellow Succubus and she showed me the ropes did I understand that not all partners should be consumed, and not all partners are worthy of us; while Succubi feed off their partner’s life force, their partner also gets a “high” from being in contact with us. Our energy is like no other and often we will hear people say, “I don’t know why, I am just so attracted to you.” We also get comments about how comforting our homes and bedrooms can be.

Therefore, many Succubi are irresistible to their targets when they really put their intentions behind it.

By the way, the consumption of a partner is not just energy wise, either, it’s literal. You should not consume a partner’s vaginal secretions, or semen unless you know for sure you can handle all that comes with it. When we take in their bodily fluids either orally or through our genitals, we are taking in their life force; unless you have a filter set up, you will absorb the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I did not have a filter for the entire time I was having sex; so from ages 18-29 I was having sex freely, wildly, and in a way only a youth with no worries could fuck.

Every single one of those encounters came back to bite me in the ass.

I started to have dreams that were not dreams at all but flashes of memory, but not my own—the memories of people I slept with. I was having fears that made no sense, and began to have health issues that also made no sense. I had taken in too much bad energy without transmuting it to be beneficial, and it caused an Auric tear that allowed a lot of negative debris to come in.

I sought out my Sister Witch who is the Succubus mentioned earlier, and she helped me harness my power and then, I became celibate.

Makes sense, huh? A Succubus being celibate…

But, I had no choice.

I had to clean out all the psychic and sexual debris that I took on, and I had to heal the wounds created in childhood, and young adulthood; I also had to focus on myself because I was at the peak of my Spiritual Awakening.

In 2013 I stopped having sex, and for 1 year and 1 day, I did not even masturbate; I truly needed a full detox of all sexual energy because I had abused it, and in turn it abused me.

When I began to play with sexual energy again it was entirely different; I started with my own, obviously. Masturbation is one of the most efficient ways for us to get energy, and even though it is not considered Vampyrism, as you are using or recycling your own life force, it is something we can and should do in times of drought, so to speak. It is also a guaranteed way to make sure we are not taking in negative energy.

After I harnessed my own, newly awakened Shakti charged energy, I began to incorporate other’s.

This was done through long distance feeding, and usually through synchronized masturbation or, in a few cases the targets were actively engaging in sexual intercourse, and they allowed me to tap in, and feed. The most efficient way for us to get energy is obviously through sexual intercourse, or engaging in sexual acts ourselves but we can be creative with our feeding, too.

For me, it seems that I inherently take on, or seek out negative energy in other people; when I studied my Irish heritage, I discovered my Sin-eating ability and I think it connects to my Succubi side.

Sin eating was a practice that originated in Southern England but quickly spread throughout the UK. Usually a dying or recently deceased person would transfer their sins into a loaf of bread and pint of ale; the Sin-eater would come eat the bread, drink the ale taking on the sins of the dead, and allowing the person to be granted access to Heaven. For more history on this practice click here.

Succubi are the embodiment of all that is carnal and primal within us; she reflects the wild side of our sexual nature, and true empowerment through sexual acts. She shows us not to be ashamed by our desires, and deviations but to embrace them.

The Succubus is a misunderstood healer, a stigmatized and demonized Woman; someone who knows exactly what she wants sexually.

In many ways, the Succubus is the ultimate Feminist.

For these facts alone she is feared.

This is why Lilith is our Mother.