LESSONS IN MAGICK: When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left

Left

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“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.”

Robert Frost

I am a walker of the Left Hand Path and my Philosophy is Luciferianism, but I also consider myself to be a deeply Spiritual person.

People seem shocked, almost offended when I discuss how Spiritual I am, and how much that Spirituality shapes myself, my life and my Magick; sometimes maybe even more so than my Luciferian Philosophy.

For me, the two ideologies are not mutually exclusive, and this is important for people to understand; usually when they think of LHP practitioners they automatically think of Satanists who can’t control their mouths and are trolls online (I would doubt if some of these fine examples of Satanism are in fact Satanist at all).

There are many Philosophies on the LHP other than Luciferianism and Satanism, this is another key point.

Just like Witches, there is no “one way” for those of us who walk the LHP to practice, or look, or live for that matter; we are all individuals with our own lives, desires, goals, and ideas of how the world (and our world) works.

Part of the allure of this path is that we can make it whatever we want it to be.

I have long incorporated aspects of Hinduism into my Magick, and daily practices of ritual and life; Meditation, and Yoga are just some of the ways that Eastern Philosophy and tradition have influenced me.

I have discovered the power of herbal teas, plant allies and vegetarianism along my journey because of their important roles in Ayurvedic traditions and Chinese Medicine.

Tai Chi has also been paramount in battling anxiety, agoraphobia and chronic pain; not to mention it teaches me how to be both soft and strong; something society tells us is impossible.

As much as I strive for individual sovereignty I am aware of the collective conscious and unconscious; the concepts of duality and polarity, too. I am also well versed in the idea of oneness, or unity (though I sometimes struggle with being part of the whole because it feels at times that it totally negates the validity of my individual experience.)

Because I am Spiritual I find myself running along side an array of people, and I am open and accepting to everyone I meet, mostly because of the utter fascination I have for all beliefs, especially ones different than mine.

I can’t say I have been met with this same acceptance though.

In many Spiritual circles being a Witch is hit or miss—meaning, you don’t know if you will be accepted until the moment arrives. The kinds of Witches accepted are usually Wiccan, or the RHP “love and light, healer only” type and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this type of Witch or practice, but it’s not the only way.

Once people within the Spiritual, less Witchy communities hear that I am a Luciferian they kinda just shut me out and dismiss me; I don’t know why it still shocks me, but it does, every single time it happens.

On the flip side I find many within the LHP community who think I am too Spiritual, or “not Luciferian enough” and they, too dismiss me.

The resistance and backlash that I have faced is one of the main reasons I am so open with my beliefs but also why I felt it necessary to start NR; there was no place that would accept me, so I created that place.

As an outsider to these communities I am blessed with the gift of perspective, and from my perspective all I see is irony.

How are these Spiritual folks teaching aka picking and choosing which lessons suit their own agenda and narrative of Buddhism (as just one example) but don’t understand how at the bare bones of it all Buddhism is, in many regards, a LHP Philosophy, or at least a dual Philosophy?

I know that Buddhists don’t believe in an individual self, which goes against the core teachings of most LHP traditions: Self-Deification.

Let’s put that aside for a minute though.

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism are: the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. (Note: Suffering also known as Dukkha.)

Buddhism is about understanding suffering which is how I would describe the human condition: we are meant to suffer for only through suffering do we fully understand.

Only through experience do we know.

Those of us who walk the LHP don’t want any books of “holy words” telling us how to live our lives, or fear mongering; we want/need to experience life, the highs and lows, for ourselves.

Isn’t that why we chose the path less traveled and one of most reward?

We want and need to experience all that is earthly, taboo, macabre and carnal.

Ripple

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One last point about Buddhism, they believe in Karma, and Karmic debt but Karma merely means action.

Buddhists tend to believe that Karma is NOT preordained fate, or destiny but more about the actions we carry out in this life, and how in the long run they can affect us.

I know, many of you are thinking, well isn’t that consequence?

No.

Are we on the LHP free from consequence?

No.

We believe we are free from Divine Retribution, which is not the same as consequence.

Consequence is a Universal Law attached to no God, Goddess or Deity; it’s cause and effect. Think of it like I do, Newton’s Third Law.

An excerpt from one of the links at the bottom says, “If you lie, steal and kill it will eventually bring about unhappiness”.

Well, isn’t this true for anyone who has any kind of moral conscience?

The LHP is not a lack of moral conscience, but more so the idea that we are able to calibrate our morality how we see fit as individuals.

Also, how are these Spiritual folks teaching about Hinduism but negating the fact that every Deity in the Pantheon has two sides (or more), one of Shadow and one of Light to be whole?

For example, Kali is the dark side, and/or wrathful side of Parvarti; who both represent the Feminine Divine Principle known as Shakti.

Other stories tell of Kali being birthed from Durga, regardless she is darkness and justified rage embodied.

“One version relates to when the warrior goddess Durga, who had ten arms each carrying a weapon and who rode a lion or tiger in battle, fought with Mahishasura (or Mahisa), the buffalo demon. Durga became so enraged that her anger burst from her forehead in the form of Kali. Once born, the black goddess went wild and ate all the demons she came across, stringing their heads on a chain which she wore around her neck. It seemed impossible to calm Kali’s bloody attacks, which now extended to any wrongdoers, and both people and gods were at a loss what to do. Fortunately, the mighty Shiva stopped Kali’s destructive rampage by lying down in her path, and when the goddess realized just who she was standing on, she finally calmed down. From this story it’s explained Kali’s association with battlegrounds and areas where cremation is carried out.

“In another version of the goddess’ birth, Kali appeared when Parvati shed her dark skin which then became Kali, hence one of her names is Kaushika (the Sheath), whilst Parvati is left as Gauri (the Fair One). This story emphasizes Kali’s blackness which is symbolic of eternal darkness and which has the potential to both destroy and create.” Source

The last line is most important, for me: “This story emphasizes Kali’s blackness which is symbolic with eternal darkness and which has the potential to both destroy and create.”

She is both Monster and Mother, as we all should be, as we all are.

Those who cannot curse, cannot cure.

Those who cannot create, cannot destroy.

Duality

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Instead of teaching only love and light, or only death and darkness, maybe we should be focused on discussing both; realizing we are all both.

There is no escaping it.

We also have an entire group of people, in both the Spiritual and Witch communities that no matter how many times it’s addressed, they equate dark to black and light to white; Magick itself is a spectrum.

Both LHP and RHP have dark and light aspects to them that have nothing to do with the form of Magick you practice, or the Philosophy you hold; in my opinion, you must be able to stand in the dark if you want to stand in the light—balance is our goal, no matter what our path is.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” C.G Jung

You can’t build up one aspect of yourself while completely demeaning the other, opposite yet parallel aspect; you can’t romanticize one, and demonize the other; you can’t favor one while suppressing (even denying) the other.

That is why any path that does not allow room for my whole self to exist; a Self that’s full of shadows, darkness and light is no path for me.

The LHP is the obvious path to attain my goal of enlightenment.

Dare I say, it’s the one true path.

All other paths serve their purpose but in my opinion, they also serve watered down bullshit.

I have been told my whole life to water myself down, to lessen my potency, to take up less space; I am unwilling to follow a path that tells/demands/commands me to do the same.

I am darkness, I am light, I am shadow, and all that’s in between.

I refuse to be anything other than everything.

Resources:

http://www.pbs.org/edens/thailand/buddhism.htm

https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15227975

https://thebuddhistcentre.com/text/four-noble-truths

TORCHBEARERS: It’s Time to Shine Your Light

diggie

Image: Diggie Vitt Photography

 

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.”

J.D Stroube

I think it is safe to say that last year was a year of change, death and destruction (metaphorically and literally) for just about everyone; I know it most certainly was for myself. With these emotions and experiences there comes Shadow work, an inevitable part of our journey; facing the darker nature and emotions of/within ourselves; having to own up to our mistakes, our pain, our “shit” and still look ourselves in the mirror afterwards.

Not an easy task on top of an already complex path.

My darkness, traumas, and inability to conform are what led me to the Left Hand Path, and Magick in general, as well as having a calling deep in my Soul. I thrived in the darkness, and darker shades of gray; I loved to roam in the Shadows of myself, the otherworld and the collective unconscious trying to figure out why the dark appealed to me so much.

I immersed myself in the energy and embrace of the Dark Feminine, and swayed my hips with the Charge of the Dark Goddess; I embraced the wrath of Kali by allowing my own rage to run free, and I walked with Hekate in the Underworld staring death in the face.

I challenged fate, the Gods, and went against everything that was expected of me.

I rebelled, I lashed out, I embraced my wild nature; I raged, I screamed, I cried, and apologized not once.

But, all good things must come to an end.

After going through numerous Dark Nights of the Soul and dredging through Shadow work for over 2 years, observing and absorbing other people’s darkness and embracing my own, I can admit that I have stayed in the dark too long and now, am being forced to become my own light and shine brighter than before.

You see, I let the darkness seduce me; I got lost deep in the Abyss and have been sitting here, stuck, for weeks now—months even, trying to find a way out.

I try to remain positive and keep it all in perspective but lately it has been next to impossible to do; the recent Mercury Retrograde was the hardest one that I can remember. I remain grateful always, and make the choice every day to turn my heart towards the sky but sometimes, it’s just fucking hard to do.

During a tear-filled phone call, earlier today with one of my Sister Witches she posed a question that was so profound it has led me to write this post.

She said, “How do you create and hold space for such deep sadness and despair while still living your day to day life?” Referring the collective and personal pain and sadness that she is feeling currently.

As those words left her mouth the epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks:

“The only way out is through.” -Robert Frost

Frost’s poems have entered my mind time and time again reminding me of the lesson I am to learn or the direction I must follow. Once again, his words sing out to me.

Our society has demonized emotions so much that the majority are completely numb to the ideas of compassion, empathy and, well, love.

How can the Healers of this world cope with such odds? How can the rebels who are here to awaken the masses make them feel something, anything?

How are we, the Healers, supposed to deal with the heavy weight of sadness and fear that is being felt but also hidden?

The first step, we shine some light in the dusty corners of their Soul’s.

We all have aspects of ourselves that are like a junk drawer (not our Shadow but something more human). It’s a drawer we all have in our homes that we prefer a stranger not stumble upon and go through; finding out how sloppy we can be.

Our Soul has that same kind of drawer.

Well, it’s spring cleaning time.

This world is in desperate need of awakened and enlightened people, and I don’t mean those fake gurus who want followers; I mean the real deal who wish to have you walk your path of independence rather than follow the herd—even if that means you walk a path different from their own.

I know, I know, people on the page have tried to defend the herd as being smart; in nature, it is a defense mechanism to keep them safe from predators, a way to keep them warm, and a way to have community.

Sheep and other herd animals don’t have egos though; the Alpha males may battle it out every once in a while, but the hierarchy is set in place, and animals don’t have the awareness to question it.

Humans however, we do. And, that is why following the herd has never fared well for humans.

When we follow the herd, we lose the individuality that makes us all so unique; we lose the ability to form our own opinions because they are fed to us. It is hard to walk alone, it is hard to break free from everything you have ever known but what is the alternative? Follow blindly?

While I feel the Shadow of last year still hanging over us, the fear of the unknown, and the panic because of the uncertainty of our future, I have hope.

Some people call me naïve to keep hope alive and maybe I am; fear is no better than naivety though, but worse.

I walk in to 2017 shedding the darkness and thick skin that 2016 gave to me and step into the fire of revolution and truth.

Most importantly, I step into the fire of hope.

Blessed are the Witches, Wild Mystics, Shamans, Healers, Awakened, Enlightened and Spiritual folks of this planet; it is our torches that will guide us through the darkness.

Blessed are the light-bringers and torchbearers;

Now go light the world on fire.

 

The Alchemy of Life: Incorporating Light with the Dark

Baiba Ladiga

Image: Baiba Ladiga

“The brightest flame casts the darkest shadow.”

George R.R. Martin

Lately I have seen a plethora of articles about the Shadow Self and how we must incorporate our Shadow into the whole; probably one of the most important lessons on the Magickal Path. Far too many people deny their Shadow, their Darkness, only to become consumed by it in the end.

Don’t get me wrong I am ecstatic to see so many fellow writers willing to take on this topic and teach the masses that our Shadow is not our enemy, though it most certainly can be if we ignore it for too long. I have a how to (of sorts) blog in the works about the ways to bring forth your Shadow, and methods of integrating it into your everyday life.

This blog however is going to be about a group of us who I believe to be seriously underrepresented and even chastized; thrown to the side, not taken seriously, feared, mocked, and utterly misunderstood.

I am talking about those of us who were born of the dark, we are the dark, we exist in the dark, and we move most freely amidst the density of the Void.

It is important to understand that in order for balance to be maintained on a grand scale or collectively we need practitioners who do Dark Magick, just as we need those who do White Magick. Now, I know, I know, Magick itself is not Dark and it is not White; it is everything and nothing, but without those of us who solely do “Dark Magick” the balance would be tipped; just as it would be tipped if there were not practitioners who solely do “White Magick”.

I think, ideally, the end goal should be a balance of the two, or what I call a Gray mentality, but that’s not always attainable and that’s okay.

Do you hear me, Dark Ones?

That is okay.

I personally have always been attracted to dark things, even as a child, and that of course made me different. I didn’t want to be like everyone else anyways but when you aren’t given the choice to be rebellious and people just expect it or push you to become that way, it gives a certain type of power but also a certain type of pain.

I have felt both deeply and I believe my love affair with the dark has made me who I am today. My power comes from that pain, as most power does. People think that our pain or our wounds make us weak, that we cannot be “good enough” unless we heal these traumas.

Just as some wounds are not meant to be healed which is why there is such a thing as the wounded healer; some people are not meant to be balanced.

Anger, rage, a hot temper, emotional outbursts are all part of my being; they lie so close to the surface that it is sometimes next to impossible to move passed them without first going directly through them. I denied these parts of myself for so long because Women are taught not to have a voice as loud as mine, an opinion as strong, or a will that moves the stars.

I suppressed these aspects and was acting out in other ways; I was getting my fix of the darkness by living dangerously, I mean truly, truly dangerously. There are more times than I can count at this point in my life where I should have been killed because of the people I was hanging out with and the decisions I made, but here I am, and here I remain.

As much as I have a quick reaction time, and the ability to spit venom on a whim, I have love in me that knows no bounds, and a thirst for justice that cannot be quenched.

I can’t hold on to the happy/lighter emotions for very long before I slip back into the shadows, begin to analyze the world and vibrations around me, as if I know of nothing else to do. I am a worst case scenario thinker, too, but wouldn’t consider myself a pessimist. I see the good in people, it just so happens I see the really bad, too.

So, how do those of us who love this place of solitude and seclusion incorporate the light into our lives?

I am the first to admit that I fear the light and all that comes with it. I fear being happy for too long because I don’t want it taken away as it always has been, I fear being in love but I am the most hopeless romantic you will ever meet, I fear being vulnerable because I know I have a wrath that is insatiable and uncontrollable if I am hurt.

And, so, I sit in the dark alone.

Those of you like myself have to make the conscious choice every single day to raise our vibrations, we are not like other people; we are not like other practitioners.

We are the ones who love death more than life, we are the ones who choose the Daemons over the Angels, we are the ones who prefer the Moonlight to the Sun’s rays. We are the bumps in the night.

These are just some tips that I have picked up along the way, and I want to share them with you, especially because I see a few struggling to get out of the darkness just as I have been doing.

First, you have to find your truth and live in it. This is probably the hardest thing to do because usually finding your truth means destroying another’s illusion. We lose our old life when we shed our old mentality and this can be a hard transition.

When we find our truth we become unshackled from all the chains that society has put on us; we are finally free. There is a pure happiness, a pure joy that comes from knowing we are being true to no one, and nothing but our very own Soul. Through finding my truth I have learned that happiness does not mean always having a smile on my face, the path I walk simply does allow for smiles all the time, but happiness means that I am creating my own destiny by fully being present, and making my own choices.

That should make anyone happy.

Second thing we need to do is go out in nature. This is probably a no brainer to some people, but to others they may not even think about it. Just like humans there are parts of nature that are not balanced, there are parts of nature that are dark, just as there are parts that are light and of course several shades of gray. Think of an apex predator out for blood, then think of a delicate flower in bloom and you will understand what I mean.

The polarity of nature is the polarity of man.

Nature is a gift to us, by whom does not really matter, but we are meant to enjoy this gift. Walking outside and getting some sunlight for even 15 minutes can greatly raise your vibrations, while cleansing your Aura and Chakras. Walking barefoot will ground you to the Earth’s energy while forming a connection and possibly relaying messages with the Elementals and other Spirits where you walk. Walking in water, or even next to water will calm the mind, and soothe the nerves; also walking near water will cleanse any negative emotions from strong Empaths like myself.

Third thing to do is laugh. Some of you may think this is silly advice but it is so important to fucking laugh! Don’t take yourself so seriously all the time, and for me this is my biggest struggle. I don’t only take myself too seriously, I take others and life too seriously as well. It doesn’t matter what it is that makes you laugh, I mean don’t be a douchebag and laugh at another’s expense, just laugh.

I find that when I laugh I am brought back to a child-like place in my mind and heart. I find this intriguing because my childhood had plenty of struggles and there were many, many times where joy was not present but when I hear my own belly laugh I can’t help but think of the little girl I once was; the little girl that never got to fully live.

In those moments where tears are streaming down my face from a funny cat video or a baby laughing, I live for that little girl lost inside of me.

The fourth and final piece of advice I can give to incorporate light into our darkness is to love. I’m not just talking about loving other people, I mean love yourself, too. Loving someone and accepting love are probably two of the hardest things for anyone to do because love makes us vulnerable, love means forgiveness, love means sacrifice– love means a lot. I personally think we have forgotten what true love is really like, some people will live their whole lives without ever experiencing it, which is why self-love is paramount.

Give yourself the love you never had, give yourself the love you deserve, give yourself the love you so generously give to your passions; take some of it, and give it back to yourself. And don’t be scared to show your love, either. I believe regret can be worse than rejection, so say it, even if you know they won’t say it back. Sometimes those three words can make all the difference.

I have accepted myself as being a creature of the dark and I wouldn’t have it any other way but the Shadow can only be cast when the light is shone upon it.

Lesson from the Light

Tomaas

Image: TOMAAS

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brené Brown


I had taken yesterday off mostly because the group kept me really busy, and rather entertained, but also because I needed to do some things for myself; those things included stopping at my local Witch shop to get some supplies and crystals; I don’t often go up to the shop (it is about 30 minutes from me) but yesterday I had a calling to go, and so by myself I went.

That was a huge deal for me, to go by myself, and then to add to the hugeness of it all, I stopped at the craft store on my way home to get some jewelry supplies. It was a day for me, a day doing things that make me and my Soul happy, who cares if wire, glass viles, herbs and rocks are what make me content.

I even broke two toes on my way out the door yesterday, I taped them together, put closed toed ballet flats on, and made myself go. Obviously not the wisest decision I ever made, but man was I so proud of myself for this little accomplishment. I often get so caught up focusing on the big accomplishments and goals that I completely miss the everyday small milestones I hit.

Before I had left there were a few comments going back and forth in the group about the Shadow self (which influenced my Jung post on NR last night) and how one needs to face it, accept it, and incorporate it into the whole, or we lose out on a big part of this experience.

It was also mentioned how the shadow self can become violent, and can endanger your wellbeing, and sometimes others if not addressed. If you try to repress it, and it is ready to rise there will be a major internal conflict that is sure to boil over at some point.

In the car ride, which besides the shower is where I do some of my best thinking, I started pondering my own journey with my shadow self, and it hit me, it hit me hard…I have always had my shadow, but never my light.

I push the light away like the plague. It is almost like kryptonite to me, it makes me feel weak to be happy and carefree. I wonder what Jung would say? I wonder what Freud would say? What trigger, or moment in life caused such a fucked up mentality?

I have always been like this, looking back at childhood pictures (and there aren’t many) I notice I was always scowling; now at such a young age, with my flawless alabaster skin have a deep set crease line directly in the center of my eyebrows. I am proud of that “scowl line”—I prefer to call it my thinking line.

I am always lost in thought, always have been.

No matter what the cause though, no matter the trigger and if it is from this life or previous ones, a collection of all even, this is my current reality. I am not some miserable person though, I laugh, and crack jokes; people often say to me, “I didn’t expect you to be so funny.” I don’t know how to take that, so I smile and say thank you.

I admit I am moody, I change day to day, hour to hour, a ticking bomb most times but to know that about me is to love me because that IS me. I feel that being me, and my authentic Self, shouldn’t affect my happiness, and at times the lack of light does. Obviously.

I mean this quite literally, too, I push the light of love, joy, happiness, peace, spontaneity, lighthearted fun– I don’t ever let myself have fun! I take the world so seriously, too seriously, and I always, always have.

I blame some of it on the fact that I am awake and aware, so it is hard to see “glitter and rainbows” but the fact is, no matter how dark life gets (and mine has been very, very dark at times) there is always beauty, joy, fulfillment etc. in SOME aspect, it may not be perfect, it may not be a smooth ride, but if you look close enough the light is always there, waiting to be acknowledged. Once you tap into the light it multiplies, it grows, it’s an all-consuming presence, which is probably why it scares me so much.

I sometimes equate my darkness, my shadow to my badassery, a hang up I have, I guess.

I fear the light, to be honest, and when I find myself getting caught up or lost in those “light moments in life” I switch it off, put my defenses up, and reject the feeling. If the situation involves someone else, I will pick a fight so that they can’t love me, so that they can’t give me that feeling of (insert emotion here).

Major fucking self-realization.

I can’t change who I am, but I can become more aware and be mindful of those moments when they come because they are ever fleeting. I have to let the light in, or I am an unbalanced, incomplete being.

My mind, heart and soul heavy with shadow remind me daily that this mortal coil dies every second, so it is of the utmost importance to live every moment.

A lesson I need to put into practice.