LESSONS IN MAGICK: The Kali Principle

Kali

Image Source: Rajesh Kumar Singh/AP

“Time, for example, is intimately connected with the goddess Kali, which partly accounts for her destructive nature. Energy – in Einstein’s equation, E=MC2 – is personified in India as Shakti in her various guises.”

Roger Housden

It has been nearly 6 years since Shiva and his dance of destruction entered my life leaving the scattered remains of what was in His wake.

One strange, madness filled summer evening I heard his call and felt his presence; it was undeniable and intoxicating. He appeared at a time when I only related to or saw myself in Masculine or Daemonic deities/energies/archetypes.

For some reason, how I viewed myself (rage filled, rebellious and dark) was synonymous with Masculine (Yang) energy.

Eastern Philosophy has always, always been my main source of study (Yes. I mean all of it; I devour as much as I can.)

Throughout my studying Hinduism, oddly more so than Buddhism (which would seem more in line with the LHP) has become a passion of mine, and a Pantheon (and culture) that have become cornerstones of my personal Philosophy and practice as a Witch.

Lord Ganesha, Shiva’s elephant headed son and the remover of obstacles had been present and active in my life a few years beforehand and even still today; in hindsight He was preparing the path for Shiva.

Shiva was preparing the path for Kali.

Though, she needs no help in that department.

Asteroid

 

I had known Feminine energy because of Hekate and Lilith, but again, when I thought of myself, my rage, my aggression, my fiery passion, and quick temper, it all seemed to be the antithesis of what it meant to be Feminine.

At the time I didn’t see myself as being a balanced, or even fluid individual; I was all rage.

My most natural emotion.

For clarity sake, I am not referring to gender identity. I have always identified as a Woman, but the images society portrayed were nothing like myself; I know many, many Women (and people) can relate to this.

I was one of those “too much” Women.

Which is crazy to think about because I struggled for a long time to take up space, until one day I realized I take up space in this world without trying.

And, so many of my Sisters do too, and they don’t even realize it.

They are all too much Women, as well.

They, like myself, have been told to water themselves down, be less opinionated, be less emotional; don’t be too loud, don’t be too independent, don’t enjoy sex too much.

Don’t be too much.

Too much. Too much. Too much.

It echoes in our heads and hearts.

So, we shrink ourselves.

Our bodies.

Our voices.

Our thoughts.

Our dreams.

We don’t want to be the girl who is too much.

That’s where Kali comes in.

She is the embodiment of the too much Woman.

She is destruction embodied (think of Her as the Tower Card).

She is time.

She is death.

She is justified rage.

She is the void known as the Cosmic Womb.

Womb

The world is in a dark time, I mean there really hasn’t been a time in modern history (or history at all) where it wasn’t dark, but in an age of information and technology the darkness, turmoil, chaos, and divisive tactics surround us.

They are delivered to us through the device you’re holding in your hand right now.

Because of the ability to receive information so quickly we can see in real time what is going on around the world, and close to home; this is a rude awakening for a lot of people who otherwise are blind to the suffering of others.

I see more and more people diverting their path away from religion and back to more earth-based beliefs and practices.

There is a rise in natural, more holistic approaches to health. People in large numbers are going vegetarian and being mindful of their eating habits and the impact they have on the planet. Cities across the world are voting to do away with single use plastic in order to save our planet and oceans.

All of this is happening because Kali’s energy has spread, almost like a virus, throughout the world and the collective at large.

She is doing what she does best: destroying illusions, and deconstructing reality.

People like to romanticize Kali like they do Lilith, but there is nothing romantic about Kali.

She will quite literally, destroy you.

And your life.

Then demand that you rebuild it.

No time for tears.

She teaches discipline and grants us permission to be nothing but authentic.

And, live nothing but authentic lives.

Through Kali I have learned to accept and embrace my rage, as I know now it serves a purpose and has its place.

She taught me that my creativity is my weapon, and I am to use it excessively.

She allowed me to break down the illusions I had built up around me and see the world for what it really is; not through the rose-colored glasses I unknowingly wore.

She taught me that ego is not to be feared but to be accepted and incorporated into our whole.

We are living in a time where the Dark Goddesses rule, and they are teaching us that darkness is energy to be honed and used like all other.

They are teaching us that where we see fault in ourselves lies power.

They are reminding us that darkness is where we come from, and where we shall return.

They are demanding that we re-wild, resist, and rebel.

For this I am grateful.

Jai Maa!

To read about Kali:

Click here

DARKNESS GIVES BIRTH TO LIGHT: A Reminder for these Trumpian Times

darkness-2

Image: Stefano Corso

 

“Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit in with the core belief.”

Frantz Fanon

The Political game has always been something that fascinated me and often I would find myself in the midst of debates, even at a young age; far before this election year, far before my awakening, far before I could even vote, it was just something always inside of me. I know nobody wants to talk about or read anymore posts regarding the election but bear with me and hopefully I can inspire some of my fellow discouraged rebels.

For a long time, I didn’t really side, or identify, with either party; I considered myself to be, relatively, non-partisan. Like most millennials I felt that I *needed* to think for myself, not be told by “the system” what, who or how I should be. A rebellion our parents once had but seemed to dimmer as they were beaten back into submission.

I know that millennials, particularly the ones younger than myself (I am 32) have a lot of stereotypes associated with them, and maybe there is truth to some of those stereotypes but this generation IS special. Not to get all pseudo-science, crazy on you but look up the Indigo, Crystal and Rainbow children, there are some interesting theories.

We seem to have rebellion in our blood; while it may not express itself well all the time in its delivery, it’s there, in all of us, waiting to be tapped into.

I feel the rebellion now more than ever.

I have recently been called a snowflake, libtard who “needs to go find my safe space” because I am not willing to accept our current Administration. I have been told that I am unpatriotic, and spoiled and that I need to accept “New America”. I have been attacked for being a Feminazi, while also being attacked for my white privilege.

I admit my privilege, I identify as an intersectional Feminist because I GET IT.

I supported the Women’s Marches that happened all over the world but I also know that white Women were marching for very different reasons than Women of Color, and/or Transgender Women. With this, I want to give a shout out to the Black Trans community; a group who face more violence than any other. I see you. I love you. Keep fighting.

White Women (which I am one, in case that needs to be clarified) are seeking equality because we have the privilege to do so; Women of Color are seeking justice because in 2017 they are still considered sub-human—how can they even begin to fight for equality when they are literally killed for having brown skin? If you cannot admit this happens, if you cannot understand our different causes and help our Sisters (all of them) rise with us, then you need to check your own privilege and ask yourself what the fuck is the point of fighting at all? It should be all inclusive, or nothing.

People who voted for Trump said they wanted anti-establishment but his cabinet is shaping out to be a who’s who boys club of elite men who all have shady business dealings, and checkered pasts to boot; men who line their pockets by rebutting science and raping the Earth for resources—some are billionaires for this very reason.

So, tell me, what do these men have in common with me? How do they represent ME? How do they represent YOU?

US-POLITICS-DIPLOMACY-TRADE-ASIA-TPP

Trump Signing Anti-Abortion Bill Surrounded by Men Source: Huff Post

There are no illusions or blinders on me when it comes to my country; I know Her for what she is and the blood on her hands, and in her soil. I love her despite that because I love the people and all their colors who make up this great Nation. You can love your country and want it to move forward, you can love your country while pointing out its ugly parts and past, you can love your country and be against your Government.

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.”

Theodore Roosevelt

To be frank, this entire election cycle and the drama that came along with it has made me feel defeated and discouraged; I never had too much faith in democracy in recent years (thought all politicians were bought and paid for) but I had enough trust where I thought, for sure, that a reality star who is an open misogynist, racist, sexist, classist, elitist would not get to sit in the White House.

Yet, here we are. Wishful thinking got me again.

I don’t know if I should laugh, or cry, or fight, or scream….

I don’t know what to feel so I feel it all but I have felt it all for so long that now, right now, I am numb.

I feel like I am waiting for something to happen and I don’t know what it is, or even if it’s good or bad. Terrifying, it’s all fucking terrifying.

I have stepped, dove and jumped into the abyss many times, but the collective has stepped into the abyss now, too, and that is such an unsettling feeling for an Empath, and Mystic like myself.

The entire world is sitting in the dark; take that however you will. This is why us torchbearers are needed now more than ever.

On this note, a friend sent me a quote yesterday that seems fitting:

“What if the darkness is not the darkness of the tomb but the darkness of the womb?”

Valerie Kaur

If this is the case and we are sitting in the womb of Mother, may we all be reborn with eyes open wide and a mind that isn’t blind; may we help Her rise.

We are in a perilous situation right now, and we are all in it together; regardless of what side we are on.

Yesterday I re-shared my blog about how to deal with the current world and being an Empath; tricks to help you cope and deal, but today I am going to focus on the Mystics, the Healers, the Light bringers.

How do we get through this darkness?

DON’T FEED FEAR, DEVOUR KNOWLEDGE: Since we are now living in a world of “alternative facts” telling the truth will become an act of rebellion; speak it, scream it, and shout it as loudly as you can. They can’t silence us all. Shine your light on their lies.

DON’T FEED HATE, SPREAD LOVE: This is a time where unity is more important than ever before but, unity can only happen when we understand that we ARE different. I think that those who state “We are all one race” don’t really understand the pain, struggle, and oppression that is experienced by people of color daily. We must listen to their experiences, and help them heal by speaking their truth with them; showing compassion, and empathy wouldn’t hurt either. Most importantly, we must love each other because it is only love that will make us strong, only love that will pull us out of this. And, y’all know I am not a kumbaya type of person but shit is real right now.

We mustn’t be silenced, or rollover in submission; we must fight back, allow our voices, all our voices, be heard. We must light our torches and shine them so that other’s may see the way.

We must heal the collective and show them that this isn’t the end; darkness is just the beginning.

Dark Night of the Soul: The Story of How I Died

Luciia Motto

Image: Luciia Motta

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”

Anthon St. Maarten


I am going to bare my soul in ways that I have not done in quite some time and also speak on a topic that not many Seekers talk about. I am not sure if there is a stigma attached, or if it is fear based but I know it is avoided in discussion; I refer to the Dark Night of the soul.

The name alone conjures imagery in the mind that cannot summarize the pain, agony and torture one must go through.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term it first came to popularity after a 16th century poem was written by a Spanish Roman Catholic mystic named Saint John of the Cross. First being primarily used among the Church, the term began to gain popularity in Esoteric circles around the 17th and 18th centuries, and became even more popular at the peak of Jung’s career, and his idea of duality and that darkness can be made conscious, if it is not already.

The main idea is that Seekers, when being prepared to raise their level of consciousness must be stripped away of everything we hold dear, we must shed our skin— we must die.

Some Seekers will experience many Dark Night’s, others will experience one horrendous Night that will lead to ascension after being drudged through the pits of the Void in their Soul.

I guess one could compare it to depression, although if you have ever experienced a Dark Night, I mean REALLY experienced it, you know that it makes depression look like a walk in the park, picking daisies.

This most recent Full Moon was in Taurus, the Bull, which happens to be my Moon. As most of you know I do not handle Full Moon’s well, this one happened to be close to Samhain *AND* in my sign; I knew it was going to be a rough ride, or I thought I did, then I allowed confidence, and perhaps cockiness to blind me from the plummet into darkness that was on the horizon. This same confidence also blinded me from realizing that there was true absence of light, lack of joy, and happiness in my life for months if not years, which is what the Dark Night is.

Again, I am not talking depression here, or any of my usual descents into the abyss; I am talking actual primordial darkness, and death. I died that night, I’m sure of it, and a piece of me is still lost somewhere in the abyss.

Days leading up to the moon were not overly emotional or distressed like usual which is where the cockiness was coming from, I should have known better, I have been doing this too long not to know the poisons of ego.

The rage, however, was very, very present.

Moloch began entering my dreams, poetic I thought since it was a Taurus moon. He told me that I would need to “embrace my true nature, and show no mercy”. He is a strong force, and one that I have to be prepared for because it leaves a residual energy on my Soul, and aura if I am not properly anchored, and shielded; I was neither of those when he started making his visits.

To be honest I have not been anchored in some time, shielded, yes, anchored, no. The main rule of dealing with my power (for lack of a better term) is that I must remain anchored to a human, not a hybrid, not a celestial, but a human. If I do not have a human who can ground me to this place (charge, student, friend, lover, family member) then I have to actively, every day, anchor myself to the Earth, or I will lose myself and my Beast will take over. I will become a monster that none of us want to meet.

The last few weeks have been my monster and I battling. I was lost in spurts of creative energy, and was back on my routine, and thought I was making really good progress but I could feel the darkness looming, I could feel it peering from every direction. I was being hunted and I could feel it, something a predator like myself is not used to. Even talking about it now brings an uncomfortable tightness in my chest, and my heart begins to race.

Sunday morning, I woke up with this thick darkness all around me, it was on both the physical and ethereal part of my being, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from taking over my mind.

I fought it, I fought it until Monday night when I could no longer keep in the emotions, and so I let one tear drop from my eye, and then it was a sudden release and purge from the depths within. The thoughts were some of the most intense visions, and ideations I have ever had. The tears were heavy, and hot, my body was jerking and shaking from the release of the pent up pain.

I was put in many trances during my dance with darkness, I had locked myself in my bedroom for my own safety, but also the safety of others. I was not suicidal or homicidal, just didn’t want to scare anyone. It seemed the more I cried, the clearer my vision became, and the more intense the trances were.

The most vivid trance was myself being guided down a “hallway” and all around me were swirls of a gray matter, I could hear screams of torture, and I mean skin shuddering, gut wrenching, screams of death, and they were deafening.

Surrounding me, guiding my way, were 3 cloaked beings; one wearing red, one wearing yellow, and one wearing black. There were symbols on their cloaks that were Masonic in origin, and that is all I will say. When I was caught looking at the symbols the yellow robed “man” would turn and his scaly skinned face, and piercing green eyes would “tell me” to keep my head down.

I don’t follow orders well, nor do I bow and I don’t like being taken places against my will but my curiosity trumped my rebellious nature, and I did what I was told.

I was brought into a room, it was a rounded room (not the typical 4 square walls) with gold glyphs shimmering all around. In the center was a clay formation that looked like a pedestal, and before it was a purple silk pillow, they told me to go before the book and kneel. As I did so the three of them surrounded me, and in some language that can only be described as Aramaic, they cloaked me in a blue colored, triangular shaped energy shield.

The one in yellow demanded I not leave this place until I learned what I needed to know.

As I opened the pages of this book there were no words, but a looking glass. I was able to put my hand inside the swirling waters and pull out images, situations, events in history and watch them unfold. I was reveling in this idea of being able to see pieces of history live in action. Then I started to see my own deaths, and the deaths of my family. I saw despair, pain, and desperation on the worldwide scale, too.

I was being shown my fears, but also the collective’s fears, and current woes.

Each time I would see my death, the death of a loved one, or the death of an innocent, it would take a piece of me, and bring me closer to death myself. It got to the point where I could feel death standing behind me. At one point I wanted to die, I wanted to take away that pain, and as the yellow cloaked “man” handed me a blade and told me to end it all, I stood up in defiance, and said I would “go out on my terms, but not by my own hand”.

After what I believed to be hours being trapped inside this energy force field, a smoke started to surround me, incense or herbs being burned. It induced an erotic state, but one that made me an open portal, so open that I could not control a single thing. I was speaking languages I clearly do not know in real life, and everything I said was being recorded on a clay tablet.

As I started to slip from the trance and come back to my physical state of being, I immediately knew that I was not who I was when I left. I also knew that a piece of me was, and still is, lost. Perhaps it was a necessary loss but the void I am feeling is making me numb to the outside world, only wanting contact with one chosen person.

I know that change and transformation are the name of the game these days, but I am terrified. I am a creature of habit, and when my hand is forced, I will become more rebellious. It seems the other side is growing increasingly intolerant of my rebellion.

The signs are so overwhelming, and so intense that my friends and family are beginning to be dragged into the game, and I know without a doubt that I am being stripped of everything, literally this time, so that I may be born anew. I have even received strange, cryptic messages via email and fb, even phone calls from sequenced numbers to my landline (home phone).

I have walked the edge for too long, and now it is time to jump, there is no logic, there is no rhyme or reason, there is nothing but instinct, and a knowing that I will fly before I will allow myself to fall. I feel like I am on the brink of greatness, but also stuck in the Twilight Zone.

The best thing to come out of this is that now I know what it is to die, and what I have to lose, so now I know how much I need to live; the Dark Night is a perfect teacher for such lessons.

The original poem:

http://poemsintranslation.blogspot.com/2009/09/saint-john-of-cross-dark-night-of-soul.html

To read more about the Dark Night of the Soul:

http://www.themystic.org/dark-night/

Coping tips:

http://in5d.com/getting-through-the-dark-night-of-the-soul/