SUCCUBUS: The Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

Anna Gorin

Image: Anna Gorin

“To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth—I count that something of a miracle.”

Henry Miller

This blog initially started out as a rant, a bit of a defensive article about the demonization of Succubi; I was hoping, am hoping, to shed some light on the wide range of uses we have outside of “Stealing sexual energy”.

Because this is such an important blog, and message, I have teamed up with my fellow Succubus Leslie Chepstow.

It is time the truth was set free, and it’s time the truth sets you free.

When people hear the word Succubus they think of a whore who steal Men’s sexual energy, or they conjure images of a scary She-Daemon who does the same.

Succubi FEED ON sexual energy, we do not always steal it. There is such a thing as consensual feeding—it comes in the form of a consensual, open minded partner.

Shocking, right? (Insert Sarcasm)

It seems like everyone in our community lately wants to act like Lilith is some goddamn trend, like she is the new “it girl” of the Craft but yet NOBODY wants to admit what she is: A ruthless, coldhearted, monster with an insatiable appetite. She is also Mothering, sexual liberation personified, and the epitome of a free Woman but please let’s not water her down like all the other Women in history—she has earned the fear she instills in others.

Respect that.

Leslie writes, The Lilith in me stands in the flames of truth, unashamed of who I am, stripped and naked of pretense. I will give you a chance to understand me but if you are so arrogant to think I am beneath you, I’m un-evolved, not equal–the Lilith in me says fuck you.

Everything is not all buttercups and rainbows. Sometimes its horror and abomination, rage without remorse. When Mother calls to me I tremble with anticipation. In fact, the synestheste in me looks forward to the color of unleashed rage splashed in my mind.

Ironically, it’s the darkest part of me that will do my highest calling.

We are multifaceted Succubi.

I care; I really, really do care about people, animals and entities. That is why I use most of the energy in positive ways but at the same time I absolutely do not give a single fuck about bad people, bad entities or negative energy in general.

I face my darkest self every. time. I go. to feed. 

It’s not glamorous.

These entities are hideous and full of negative energy. 

They have done some horrible shit and need to be stopped.

(One method is to seduce them, bind them and flay the energy from them. Then leave an empty space like a good dominatrix.)

Regardless, the energy eventually must be transmuted.

Which is why, contrary to popular belief, Succubi have something to offer this world.

We can take something utterly negative and horrific and turn it into something good through the power of Kundalini. Lilith teaches us the power of the Serpent and its ability to rule over all Beasts.

That’s why I take *pleasure* in stealing the energy from those negative beings; humans or otherwise.

These days for both Leslie and myself, it is “otherwise”. We both feed from entities—in diverse ways but we both feed from non-humans. That is what we call evolution; that is how you can be an Evolved Succubus. You would think people in the Magickal community understood that.

Now, let’s address some misconceptions about us and clear them up once and for all.

  1. Succubi crave power over Men: There is this common thought that we all think “men suck, I want to get even.” No men don’t suck—the Patriarchy sucks.
  2. I want to be a Succubi because it will automatically empower me; I will be like Lilith: For this reason, the glamorization of Lilith is dangerous; she is not here to hold our hand or grant us wishes. She requires, being a Succubus in general requires, grueling Shadow Work full of blood, sweat and tears. THAT’S the stuff that matters, the stuff that actually empowers people. Society has put too much emphasis on sex being a source of power and control that we miss everything else sexual energy can teach us.
  3. The so called Magickally Evolved, Sex Goddess, <insert any title> Women who are disgusted by Succubi:

Let’s delve into this deeper.

These women assume Succubi are unevolved, unethical, energy sucking whores.

But,

These are also the same Women who constantly write about embracing the Dark Goddesses and literally PRAISE Lilith. Do they not KNOW who Lilith is?!

For example, I posted an article the other day from the Fb page WITCH—“8 Signs that you are a Magickally and Evolved Succubus”.

Almost immediately a Woman who claims to be a “Goddess of Sacred Sex” came through and commented: “A Succubus is someone who steals other people’s sexual energy. Yes, very Magickal and Evolved.”

These are the same Women who would never judge a group of people as a whole, they judge people as individuals–on merit and not just assume shit.

So, why, whyyyy are these so called enlightened, evolved “Sacred Sex Goddesses” assuming such negative stuff about Succubi? It doesn’t fit their MO in other areas so why Succubi?

I think there is a deeper thing going on.

I truly believe they are hiding some sexual hang-up, some deep fear hidden in a sugar coat of assumption.

Why else would they treat Succubi different than any and every other group of people?

Throughout time Succubi have ONLY been written about negatively, sound familiar?!

Witches, anyone?

Let’s talk about the double standard that we see, too.

Do you ever see male Vampyrs talked or written about negatively (Sanguine or Incubi)?

Oh no, plenty of people know of, write about and love male Vampyrs but us female Vamps, we are “whores who have no ethics and are notorious man stealers”

The hate directed at us is ***always*** from Women; the disinformation spread is always from Women.

It’s like the Patriarchy seeped into their brain or something.

Women tear us down, lump us together and throw us all in the same goddamn fire. We are excluded from so much within our very own Witch community because people refuse to understand.

So, we either suffer and keep our truth to ourselves (Why hide aspects of who we are? We are proud to be this way!) or we suffer the deafening solitude.

The solitude is great and all but, feeling like I am starring in Mean Girls most days fucking sucks.

How do we feed?

We take energy and change it into a luminous pure energy during the cleaning fires of orgasm and then we use this pristine energy to heal people/places/things/animals.

Leslie writes, When I worked in this plane I would find a willing human energy donor and then use the energy to heal horses. Now that I’ve completed my goal in this plane, I’ve moved on to another plane; I, like Jaclyn, feed from negative entities. I use the same method to clean the energy but depending on the entity the energy can be immense. The excess energy is given to Mother, for the “war” and I believe she sends it out to her daughters that need healing. And I keep some of the energy for myself. People like Jaclyn and myself had to become Succubi. We expend a massive amount of energy because of our level of Magick.

The point of this blog is to show people that we are not all monsters, of course there are some in the bunch who abuse their power but that is with ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.

Aspects of us are Monstrous but Maternal; we want freedom, and liberation for all beings.

The real issue is that the world is terrified of strong Women; especially strong Women who are sexually free, and empowered.

We stand proudly in our fire of truth, in our power of sex, and do the jobs that require real sacrifice and Shadow Work while others skim the surface.

This is who Mother created us to be.

This is who we are:

Not superior, just refusing to be treated inferior.

PUSSY POWER: The Art of Yoni Healing

Liu

Image: Liu Yuanshou

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Rumi

I have always been as open and honest in my writing as I can be, I have also been open and honest when it comes to telling my stories; both mundane and Magick, and the point in the road where the two intersect.

One of the main pieces of my story is my hysterectomy, not only did the surgery change my Magick, it changed my body, my mind and essentially my Soul. Going in to the whole ordeal I had no idea, exactly, what I was getting myself in to and how badly it would hurt me in the end.

As my Gramma always told me, “Hurt is the best teacher but it can be your demise, too. Choose carefully.”

It took me a long time to truly understand what she meant.

We can choose to hold on to the hurt and let it consume us, make us bitter and cynical or we can choose to feel the hurt, heal the hurt, and allow ourselves to grow from the hurt.

Gramma also said, “it rhymes with dirt for a reason.”

She was truly the wisest Woman I knew, and she, too, had a hysterectomy; both my Grandmas, in fact, along with my Aunts, and my Mother, too.

The pain of the empty womb space runs deep in my family line; a pain I carry so deeply, so intensely, and so sacredly inside.

This post may be about me but it is written for you.

I am writing this to all the Women who have sent me messages with questions asking how did I deal with this trauma; that’s what is, a trauma.

This is to the Women who, like me, felt their Divine Feminine was taken from them.

This is to the Women who are told by society that we are defined by our organs, and how many children we bear.

This is to the Women who are taking their Power back.

This is to the Women whose Pussy Power knows no bounds.

I was nudged to finally write this article after my SiStar, Nuit Moore shared a piece of writing I urge you all to read.

Let’s first talk about me and my Pussy so that you know our backstory, then I am going to give you some tips that completely changed my sexual world and how I exist in it.

I am by no means a Woman’s health expert, nor am I a Yoni expert, I am simply sharing my story in hopes that it can help my fellow Wombn. See what I did there?

I am my Sister and my Sister is me.

Before I get into my story let me warn you and say that there may be TRIGGERS in this blog for some of you. The story DOES CONTAIN (very little) TALK OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND RAPE. I want this article to empower you not send you into a spiral.

I will give you the abbreviated version so that I can get right to the good stuff and let you know how to set your Pussy Power free!

I was sexually abused as a child, and raped twice in my early twenties, I lost my virginity at 18; late among my friends who were active since they were 13-14. I think the late sexual activity had to do with my INFJ traits, but I did masturbate from a very young age. I was always in touch with the sexual side of myself (no pun intended, ha), and at times it most certainly was devious.

Until the age of 26 I was extremely promiscuous and as mentioned in previous blogs it’s because I was suppressing my Magick and acting out; sex became my form of self-harm.

It was at this time that my third irregular pap smear came back and Planned Parenthood (who I routinely saw for my Gynecological health) told me that they had helped as much as they could but I needed to be seen by a Specialist.

At this point I had no clue how important my Pussy was, I had no clue how important my Moon Blood was; Magick until this point came natural, and it was not in the form of being connected to the Goddess or my Feminine side for that matter. In hindsight I was extremely disassociated from my Pussy; even with all the masturbating and fucking, her and I were just not on the same wavelength.

After going through endless tests including but not limited to a Colposcopy, 2 LEEP procedures, removal of the lymph nodes in my Mesenteric region, continuous cycle birth control methods (in theory to stop the bleeding) and countless other tests and tricks, I was left with no choice but to opt for a hysterectomy.

So, as I turned 27, this was going to be my new reality.

At first my Doctor and I had decided to take out the Uterus and Cervix, leaving in the Fallopian Tubes, and Ovaries; he went in and scraped out all the Endometrium tissue, too. (Pretty severe Endometriosis)

I was officially diagnosed with Cervical Cancer, Uterine fibroid (about the size of a grapefruit), Ovarian cysts, and as mentioned, Endometriosis.

I jokingly said to my Doctor many times, the Gods really just didn’t want me to have children; a joke then, not so funny now.

It was about 3 weeks’ post-surgery when I was rushed back into the operating room to remove the Tubes and Ovaries that my body was rejecting; if I had waited any longer I would have risked septicemia because my body considered these organs foreign. Now, this meant going through surgically induced Menopause—as if natural Menopause isn’t bad enough.

I healed, physically at least, and tried to carry on with my reckless lifestyle; it didn’t last long. I was simply uninterested in sex, or at least the sex I was having, and well, my Pussy was different, I was different….life was different.

In October of 2013 I stopped having sex, and have not had sex since. I do however have an extremely active sex life, and I did manage to heal my Pussy and take my power back. I managed to do all of this by myself with some guidance and encouragement from my Sisters along the way.

You are probably thinking, all right, all right, so how do I heal my pussy?!

Funny you should ask…

  1. ACTIVATE YOUR ROOT AND SACRAL CHAKRAS! – Your Root and Sacral Chakras must start spinning again before any sexual revolution within yourself can take place. Often, activating these Chakras requires activating the Heart Chakra, too. When we are faced with severe trauma, emotional or physical, the first Chakra to go is the Heart. To help myself I invested in a Rose Quartz Yoni massage wand. It is two-fold: pleasure and healing. The Rose Quartz promotes self-love, calmness, healing and cleansing. I cannot say enough about massage wands and Yoni eggs. They both are based upon similar principles—healing the Yoni with sexual and gemstone energy. P.s Doing Kegels is also a good idea because it not only keeps the muscle tight, and the pelvic wall strong, it keeps us in tune with our Pussy. Some crystals that can help with sexual energy and particularly the Root and Sacral Chakras for such work are Garnet, Jet, Carnelian, Red Calcite, Red Tigers Eye, and Red Jasper. For the Heart Chakra I would suggest Rose Quartz, Ruby in Fuchsite, Peridot, Green Kyanite, and Green Fluorite.
  1. ACTIVATE YOUR KUNDALINI ENERGY! – This sounds much more complicated than it really is. The Kundalini is a Feminine energy that sits at the base of the spine; everyone has this energy within them, both Men and Women. When fully activated we are not only brought to a higher level of consciousness and awareness, we are brought to new sexual heights as well. The word itself comes from Sanskrit and means “coiled like a snake”. The activation of this Sacred energy must be done gently and with specific intention or you risk causing yourself severe back pain, and essentially, pissing off your Serpent. She can be brought to life, and coaxed to rise up by doing Kundalini yoga, but if yoga isn’t your thing, then the next best tip is to dance; focusing on your lower region. The type of dance you need to do should be freeform, without thought and extremely sweaty and sexual; you want to roll and rock your hips, you want to rub your hands on your body, and breasts, allow yourself to be taken over by the music and ecstasy. Some crystals to help activate the Kundalini are, Jet, Moldavite, Seraphinite and Serpentine. I would also suggest Rudraksha beads and/or some Shiva Lingam stones, as they are associated with Shiva and he not only carries the Serpent energy with him, he is the God of Yoga.
  1. MASTURBATE! MASTURBATE! MASTURBATE! – This is an essential part of overall health and too often people are scared to talk about it, let alone actually do it! Participating in regular masturbation sessions is good for the mind and body, but can also be used to help manifest desires, and cleanse the Root and Sacral Chakras. We cannot expect to be sexually fulfilled by another unless our own hand can do it to ourselves. It is when we become one with our Pussy (or Penis) that we can and will truly experience sex in all its glory. Touch yourself, find out where your sweet spots are, and in the process you may find some you didn’t even know you had. Try out different textures, too! This may be a little kinky for some, for me it seems like child’s play; feathers, latex, leather, rope, and silk are all enticing to our senses and can add to the experience. I also cannot recommend coconut oil enough. I hate to be *THAT* girl but it seriously is the best thing to hit the vagina since, well, forever. Make sure if you are going to use it for lube (with a partner or by yourself) that you invest in high quality, certified organic, cold pressed, virgin coconut oil. It sounds way more intimidating than it is, I promise. I found my HUGE tub for $9. The best part about this is the fact that it melts upon contact, and that in and of itself is a fucking turn on. It is instant delicious wetness, and usually a few degrees cooler than our body. It’s also much healthier for the body than the lubes sold OTC. Also, it is great when giving or receiving head. Try it, I bet neither you or your partner complain.
  1. MEDITATE! MEDITATE! MEDITATE! – This sounds like it is common sense for many on the spiritual path but it isn’t, at least not the kind of mediation where the Yoni is the focus. Most people when they think of meditation they only think about the mind, and focusing their intentions there, but we can and should be mediating with our Pussy as the focus, too. To do this you want to lay flat on your back on your yoga mat, towel, or whatever surface you choose. You want to bring the soles of your feet together, forming a diamond shape with your legs. Place one hand on your Pussy, and one hand on your Sacral Chakra (belly button region). Say out loud, “I release the pain of my past, I heal my Pussy, I take back the power of my Pussy, I am one with my Pussy, She is mine and mine alone.” Repeat until you actually believe it. After you have done this for a while move your hand from the Sacral Chakra and place it on your Heart. Say out loud, while your other hand is still on your Pussy, “I am open and receiving to self-love and love of another. I am worthy of this love. I am present here in this moment. I accept my Feminine Power. I take the Power back from those who tried to steal it from me.” Again, repeat until you believe it. This meditation can be personalized, and the Mantras changed but it should be practiced regularly; even if you are in a relationship, or if you are celibate like me, you want to make sure you still have a relationship with your Pussy.

It has now been 5 years since my hysterectomy and I am still relearning my body and what pleases me; it has not been easy but it has been one of the best, most rewarding journeys on my path. I draw from the Power of the Crone now and the Dark Goddesses have taken me under their wing.

I also draw from the Power of the Mother—and that has been a HUGE lesson for me. Just because I cannot have children, just because I never wanted children does not mean I am not a Mother, it does not mean I cannot be Mothering or that I am unworthy of such a task; it simply means my path to fulfilling the Mother role is different.

I am a Mother to all the misfits who feel like they have no place to go, who feel forgotten and cast aside by society.

I am a Mother to the people who wear their scars, both physical and metaphorical like battle wounds.

I am a Mother to those who hear the cry of the Wild and it stirs something deep within them.

I am a Mother to all the Women who will walk this earth after me because it is in my footsteps that they can find solace.

I am a Mother to all those who came before me, it’s in these words their voices can be heard because these words are the echoes of thousands.

To see my other blogs on Sacred Sex:

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/12/04/masturbation-and-magick-how-i-healed-myself-through-touch/

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/12/07/celibacy-and-magick-the-dynamic-duo-of-sacred-sex/

https://thenephilimrising.com/2015/10/02/sacred-sex-bdsm/