THE RETURN OF THE TOO MUCH WOMAN

October 13, 2026

(An invocation for the Witch who remembers herself)

The call was in my blood.
In my bones.
In my Soul.
Magick was a language
I knew before I could speak.
Before the world taught me
which words were dangerous.

Before I learned
that a Woman with a voice
could be called a problem
by everyone
who benefited from her silence.

Then Hekate called.
And I answered.
Not with a whisper.
Not with a pretty little prayer
folded neatly between my palms.
I answered in fire.
My Craft was fire.
My writing was fire.
My voice,
a blade dragged
against the throat
of everything I had been taught
to swallow.

I said the things
other people wouldn’t.

The things they knew
but dared not name.
The things that made polite company
shift in their chairs
and call me too much.

Too loud.
Too strange.
Too sharp around the edges.
Too unwilling to kneel
at the Altar of other people’s comfort.

I mistook their fear
for a warning.
And slowly,
so slowly
I almost didn’t notice,
I began to make a smaller Woman
out of myself.

I softened the language.
Rounded the teeth.
Put a leash on the lightning.

I learned the choreography
of being palatable.

How to enter a room
without disturbing its delicate lies.
How to swallow the sentence
that might make someone
think less of me.
How to fold my wildness
into something tidy enough
to be loved.

And for what?
Approval?
A place at a table
where I had to amputate
pieces of myself
to fit?

I stopped speaking so loudly.
And the world rushed in
to fill the silence.
It filled it with its rules.
Its expectations.
Its convenient little stories
about who a Woman should be
if she wants to be kept.

I drowned.
For years.
Not in water,
but in the slow suffocation
of becoming acceptable
to people who had never
been asked to become smaller
for me.

I drowned in the opinions
of people who did not know my Soul.
In the hunger to be liked.
In the exhaustion
of trying to make myself
understandable
to those determined
to misunderstand me.

I begged the mirror
to show me someone
the world could love.

Until one day
I looked into my own eyes
and could no longer recognize
the Woman doing the begging.

And something primal
inside me
bared its teeth, and growled:
Enough.

Not the polite enough.
Not the woman-at-the-end-of-her-rope
enough.

The primordial enough.
The serpent uncoiling.
The gate swinging open.
The black dog lifting its head
at the Crossroads.

Hekate had not abandoned me.
I had simply become
so busy asking the world
for permission
that I could no longer hear
the Goddess calling me home.

So here is what I know now:
Not everyone must like me.
Not everyone must understand me.
Not everyone gets a vote
on the Woman I am becoming.
There are Elders
whose wisdom I honor.
There are voices
I hold close because
they have earned their place
beside my fire.

But the crowd?
The chorus of strangers?
The endless tribunal
of other people’s expectations?

Let them talk.

I have a Soul to answer to.
And every night
when I stand before the mirror,
I will ask myself:

Did I betray my own knowing
to make someone else comfortable?
Did I abandon my voice
to avoid being misunderstood?
Did I live this day
as the Woman I am
or as the Woman
I thought would be easier to love?

If I can meet my own gaze
without turning away,
then let the world
keep its verdict.

I am not returning
to the Woman I was.

I have no desire
to crawl backward
into an old skin
just because it once fit.

I am the Alchemy
of every Woman I have been.
The girl who knew Magick
before she knew the names for it.
The Witch who spoke in lightning.
The Woman who drowned
trying to be loved.
The survivor
who found the bottom
and pushed herself
back toward the light.

I carry them all.

I am not choosing
between my fire
and my wisdom.
Between my fury
and my tenderness.
Between the Woman
who burned the world open
and the Woman
who learned what to do
with the ashes.

I am the tempering.

The marriage of flame and iron.
The blade that knows
when to cut
and when to become
a key.

I am becoming
something neither
my former self
nor my fear
could have imagined.

And I am doing it
without asking
to be forgiven
for the space I occupy.

I am returning
to my roots.
To the too-muchness
that was never a flaw
but a force
the world had no language for.

The too-much Woman.

The Witch with ink beneath her nails
and a storm behind her teeth.
The Woman who wears her darkness
like a crown
and her tenderness
like a hidden blade.
The Woman who can love you
without making herself smaller.
The Woman who can tell the truth
without wrapping it
in sweetness for your consumption.
The Woman who has stopped
mistaking self-abandonment
for goodness.

I will be too loud.
I will be too original.
I will be too in your face.
I will be too strange
for your little boxes.
Too difficult
for your convenient narratives.
Too alive
for the grave you dug.
And if my voice makes the windows shake,
perhaps it is because
the house was built
to keep Women quiet.
If my words leave a mark,
perhaps it is because
the truth was never meant
to pass through the world
without touching anything.
If my fire makes you uncomfortable,
you are welcome
to step away from the flames.

But do not ask me
to put them out.

I was not born
to be a candle
in someone else’s window.

I am the Witchfire
at the Crossroads.
I am the key
turning in the lock.
I am the name
I buried beneath the need
to be chosen.
I am the voice
I traded for approval
and have come to reclaim.

And I am done
calling my power
a problem.

The world does not need
another Woman
who has mastered
the art of disappearing.

It needs the Woman
who enters the room
whole.

The Woman who speaks
before permission arrives.

The Woman who makes art
that cannot be mistaken
for anyone else’s.

The Woman who refuses
to confuse being liked
with being alive.

It needs the Witch.
The unruly daughter.
The difficult Woman.
The holy fucking nuisance.
The one who remembers.
The one who returns.
The one who stands
at the threshold
with a torch in her hand
and no intention
of handing it over.

Because the world
has had enough
of our silence.

Now it gets our voices.
Our visions.
Our rage.
Our unrepentant,
unrepeatable,
unmanageable selves.

Let them call us too much.
Let them choke
on the words.

We have spent centuries
being told to take up less space.

Let us become
impossible to contain.

The call was in my blood.
In my bones.
In my Soul.

And this time,
when the Goddess calls,
I will not make myself
smaller
before I answer.

I will reply with a roar.

Poem will be featured in the upcoming Anthology from Girl God Books, Hecate: Underworld Guide and Holy Hag

Pre-order here:

***https://www.thegirlgod.com/hecate.php***

The Women Are Angrier

October 8, 2026

Poem will be featured in the upcoming Anthology from Girl God Books, When Women Rage: Awakening the Dragon to Hasten the Fall of Patriarchy

Pre-order here:

https://www.thegirlgod.com/when_women_rage.php

RANTINGS OF A MAD WITCH: I Will Not Submit, I Will RESIST

October 2, 2018

Chains

“Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Dylan Thomas

TRIGGER WARNING

I do not speak for all Women, but for myself and those closest to me, the last 10 days have been profoundly painful; I did not realize how triggered my own trauma would be.

I watched in awe as Dr. Christine Baisley Ford testified and told her story of survival.

I watched in shock as Brett Kavanaugh testified by throwing temper tantrums, losing his composure, putting on the fake tears, justifying his predatory behavior (“boys will be boys”) and trying to be a victim.

I watched in horror as Congress voted 11-10 to confirm him through the first process of nomination.

I watched as our Government told myself, the females in my family, the Women, girls and Femmes around the world, that we do not matter.

Our voices do not matter.

Our stories do not matter.

Our pain does not matter.

But, I am here to say that

I do matter.

Our stories matter.

Our pain matters.

We matter.

The Divine Feminine is more than waking up, She is here and She is GROWLING WITH RAGE.

Lioness

Humans have raped and pillaged this planet, its animal inhabitants, and people through genocides, crusades, white supremacy and all-out war for eons.

Men have raped and pillaged Women since the beginning of time to place their superiority over us; to place their superiority over all things.

Side note: I do not hate Men. I know that not all Men are predators. I know that there are good Men out there. We are not here to discuss them, though, we are here to call out the predators and discuss how we got to this place as a country, and world. If your initial response to this blog is “not all Men!” then you have missed the point entirely.

I have not met a Woman, in my life, who has not been sexually assaulted.

Read that line again.

And, again.

For the Men who follow my page/blog: your Sister, your Mother, your Grandmothers, your Aunts, your Female/Femme Cousins, your Nieces, your Daughters have or will be sexually assaulted to some degree in their lifetime.

This is not to say that Men do not experience sexual assault, too—they do.

But not in the way Women do, and to compare the two is a false equivalency that helps nothing.

Let’s look at statistics:

One in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives
In the U.S., one in three women and one in six men experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime
51.1% of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner and 40.8% by an acquaintance
52.4% of male victims report being raped by an acquaintance and 15.1% by a stranger
Almost half (49.5%) of multiracial women and over 45% of American Indian/Alaska Native women were subjected to some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime
91% of victims of rape and sexual assault are female, and nine percent are male
In eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the perpetrator
Eight percent of rapes occur while the victim is at work.

Source

How can you look at the next generation and not feel despair in your heart for what they will experience? How can you look at them and not want to change their fate?

I can’t do nothing. I can’t remain silent. I can’t accept this.

I won’t.

The world will hear me roar because:

I have experienced (multiple) sexual trauma in the form of rape and molestation. I have experienced sexual (and physical) trauma in abusive relationships. I have experienced sexual harassment in every workplace. I have had men pleasure themselves in front of me on public transportation. I have been stalked (and fought off an attempted kidnapping, twice). I have been verbally threatened and physically abused on more than one occasion when saying no to a man’s advances. I have been spat on (by strangers) for speaking my mind. I have been sexually assaulted by partners for saying no to sex; relationship rape is real.

And that’s the abbreviated list.

Nude

The unrest so many of us are feeling lately is not just the cosmic fuckery going on, it’s the collective.

It’s our trauma coming to the surface.

It’s our Sisters’ trauma coming to the surface.

It’s every single word we have swallowed when biting our tongue’s coming to the surface.

It’s every Woman/Femme to have ever existed finding her/their voice.

And, it’s magnificent to watch.

A few days ago, a prominent Herbalist and Witch posted a blog about sexual abuse in the Pagan community; it was illuminating and heartbreaking. I support you, Sarah.

On Social Media I saw Women, and Men, showing solidarity with Dr. Ford by using #WhyIDidntReportIt and telling their stories.

More recently there was the “blackout” to represent how Women do not matter; a cool concept, but poorly executed. (The idea was/is to change your profile picture to all black.)

I will not give the Patriarchy what it wants; I will not give them my silence.

I will not give them the satisfaction of thinking for one split second that they have won.

I will not shrink myself.

I will not make myself invisible; the world tries to do that already.

I am here to make noise.

I am here to make people uncomfortable.

I am here to rebel.

I am here to RESIST.

Hex the Patriarchy.

Fuck the Patriarchy.

Don’t give up, keep roaring.

LESSONS IN MAGICK: The Strength of Sisterhood

December 17, 2017

Fire 2

image source

“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

Madeleine K. Albright

This month marks 3 years since I started the NR Facebook page, and 2 years since starting this blog and my Shop; to say it’s been a whirlwind would be an absolute understatement.

I started this venture with no goal in mind, no real intention either; I wanted to create a sanctuary for myself, a place that was my own where I could express my opinions and experiences how I saw fit.

At the time, I didn’t know what that looked like, I didn’t know how I was to navigate this new world I found myself in; a world I had created both by choice and circumstance.

It was hard.

It was devastatingly fucking hard.

Still is, most days.

I have no problem being challenged, or having opposing opinions voiced (others would debate this fact); I do have a problem being attacked though.

I have a problem with people who only read and see what THEY want to read and see, and cannot look at anything objectively; furthermore, they cannot admit when they are wrong.

So, instead of admitting they don’t know, or that they are, in fact, incorrect, they lash out.

Their weapon? Vitriol.

Even when I know the person spewing the words is just a troll who’s merely projecting their insecurities onto me, or simpler yet, they are just trying to get a reaction because it gets them off, it still hurts my feelings.

Most people don’t understand how truly sensitive I am—I feel everything, which is why I burn out so frequently.

This brand was birthed into creation by myself; it’s literally like my baby, and when my baby is attacked, it *feels* personal.

Often, I react as such: an angry, volatile, deadly mama bear.

I know and say all the time that my way is not the only way, that my views are not the only ones.

I don’t want followers, I don’t want a herd of people who think like me; I simply want to spark something inside the minds of other’s by showing them what it looks like to burn in the fire of your truth.

I lead by example.

I light myself on fire every day and show my flames and scars to the world.

Fire 1

image source

I didn’t realize that my flames would act as a calling card of sorts beckoning like-minded individuals to seek me out, and thus, the page grew rapidly.

I also didn’t realize that in showing my scars, pains, and brutal truths to the world, it granted others permission to do the same.

In the beginning I talked mostly about topics of the Occult, demonolatry and such.

As my journey began to change, as I began to change, so did the content, which I believe is genuinely authentic; the page should reflect what I am going through and who I am.

To my surprise my page base became predominantly Women.

Now THIS was unfamiliar territory for me.

Not only did I not have friends growing up because I was so painfully different, bullied at times, accepted at other’s, choosing to keep to myself most often—I didn’t get along with other girls.

I have always known who I was, and at an early age that is threatening to other girls who are still trying to figure themselves out; it’s threatening to some Women even now as an adult.

In a world full of societal dictations about who and what we are all supposed to be, knowing who you are and living that truth are rebellious acts.

I found my inbox filled with messages from Women thanking me for sharing my experiences and telling me theirs; like soldiers comparing war stories, we shared pain, trauma, oppression, abuse, awakenings, metaphorical death and finally, rejoiced in our rebirth.

It was in these intimate moments that a silent Sisterhood was formed and has been forming ever since.

In my blog, The Rise of the Rebellious Woman I credit the Dark Goddesses with the considerable number of Women joining the Revolution, reclaiming their power, truth, and stepping onto the Left-Hand Path to take back individual sovereignty stolen from them and the Women who stood here in times past.

What I failed to see then is that the Dark Goddess works through Women like myself—Torchbearers who in these times of darkness are lighting the world on fire with their words of wisdom, and war cries for rebellion.

Fire 3

image source

I stand arm in arm with my Sisters as we begin to understand and accept that we are so much more similar than we are different.

And through sharing our stories we can heal each other, which in turn heals the wounds of the Divine Feminine; for She can only be healed when Women come to know that each other is an ally, not enemy.

When you tear down your Sister, you tear down yourself.

Thank you to all the Women who have reached out to me and continue to do so; in your words I find so much strength, motivation and inspiration.

Thank you for supporting me, for walking this journey with me, for having my back when the world gets me down.

Most importantly, thank you for teaching me the Sacred, Ancient power of Sisterhood.

Together we can conquer Empires.

Together we will dismantle the Patriarchy.

SUCCUBUS: The Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

May 18, 2017

Anna Gorin

Image: Anna Gorin

“To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth—I count that something of a miracle.”

Henry Miller

This blog initially started out as a rant, a bit of a defensive article about the demonization of Succubi; I was hoping, am hoping, to shed some light on the wide range of uses we have outside of “Stealing sexual energy”.

Because this is such an important blog, and message, I have teamed up with my fellow Succubus Leslie Chepstow.

It is time the truth was set free, and it’s time the truth sets you free.

When people hear the word Succubus they think of a whore who steal Men’s sexual energy, or they conjure images of a scary She-Daemon who does the same.

Succubi FEED ON sexual energy, we do not always steal it. There is such a thing as consensual feeding—it comes in the form of a consensual, open minded partner.

Shocking, right? (Insert Sarcasm)

It seems like everyone in our community lately wants to act like Lilith is some goddamn trend, like she is the new “it girl” of the Craft but yet NOBODY wants to admit what she is: A ruthless, coldhearted, monster with an insatiable appetite. She is also Mothering, sexual liberation personified, and the epitome of a free Woman but please let’s not water her down like all the other Women in history—she has earned the fear she instills in others.

Respect that.

Leslie writes, The Lilith in me stands in the flames of truth, unashamed of who I am, stripped and naked of pretense. I will give you a chance to understand me but if you are so arrogant to think I am beneath you, I’m un-evolved, not equal–the Lilith in me says fuck you.

Everything is not all buttercups and rainbows. Sometimes its horror and abomination, rage without remorse. When Mother calls to me I tremble with anticipation. In fact, the synestheste in me looks forward to the color of unleashed rage splashed in my mind.

Ironically, it’s the darkest part of me that will do my highest calling.

We are multifaceted Succubi.

I care; I really, really do care about people, animals and entities. That is why I use most of the energy in positive ways but at the same time I absolutely do not give a single fuck about bad people, bad entities or negative energy in general.

I face my darkest self every. time. I go. to feed.

It’s not glamorous.

These entities are hideous and full of negative energy.

They have done some horrible shit and need to be stopped.

(One method is to seduce them, bind them and flay the energy from them. Then leave an empty space like a good dominatrix.)

Regardless, the energy eventually must be transmuted.

Which is why, contrary to popular belief, Succubi have something to offer this world.

We can take something utterly negative and horrific and turn it into something good through the power of Kundalini. Lilith teaches us the power of the Serpent and its ability to rule over all Beasts.

That’s why I take *pleasure* in stealing the energy from those negative beings; humans or otherwise.

These days for both Leslie and myself, it is “otherwise”. We both feed from entities—in diverse ways but we both feed from non-humans. That is what we call evolution; that is how you can be an Evolved Succubus. You would think people in the Magickal community understood that.

Now, let’s address some misconceptions about us and clear them up once and for all.

Succubi crave power over Men: There is this common thought that we all think “men suck, I want to get even.” No men don’t suck—the Patriarchy sucks.
I want to be a Succubi because it will automatically empower me; I will be like Lilith: For this reason, the glamorization of Lilith is dangerous; she is not here to hold our hand or grant us wishes. She requires, being a Succubus in general requires, grueling Shadow Work full of blood, sweat and tears. THAT’S the stuff that matters, the stuff that actually empowers people. Society has put too much emphasis on sex being a source of power and control that we miss everything else sexual energy can teach us.
The so called Magickally Evolved, Sex Goddess, <insert any title> Women who are disgusted by Succubi:

Let’s delve into this deeper.

These women assume Succubi are unevolved, unethical, energy sucking whores.

But,

These are also the same Women who constantly write about embracing the Dark Goddesses and literally PRAISE Lilith. Do they not KNOW who Lilith is?!

For example, I posted an article the other day from the Fb page WITCH—“8 Signs that you are a Magickally and Evolved Succubus”.

Almost immediately a Woman who claims to be a “Goddess of Sacred Sex” came through and commented: “A Succubus is someone who steals other people’s sexual energy. Yes, very Magickal and Evolved.”

These are the same Women who would never judge a group of people as a whole, they judge people as individuals–on merit and not just assume shit.

So, why, whyyyy are these so called enlightened, evolved “Sacred Sex Goddesses” assuming such negative stuff about Succubi? It doesn’t fit their MO in other areas so why Succubi?

I think there is a deeper thing going on.

I truly believe they are hiding some sexual hang-up, some deep fear hidden in a sugar coat of assumption.

Why else would they treat Succubi different than any and every other group of people?

Throughout time Succubi have ONLY been written about negatively, sound familiar?!

Witches, anyone?

Let’s talk about the double standard that we see, too.

Do you ever see male Vampyrs talked or written about negatively (Sanguine or Incubi)?

Oh no, plenty of people know of, write about and love male Vampyrs but us female Vamps, we are “whores who have no ethics and are notorious man stealers”

The hate directed at us is ***always*** from Women; the disinformation spread is always from Women.

It’s like the Patriarchy seeped into their brain or something.

Women tear us down, lump us together and throw us all in the same goddamn fire. We are excluded from so much within our very own Witch community because people refuse to understand.

So, we either suffer and keep our truth to ourselves (Why hide aspects of who we are? We are proud to be this way!) or we suffer the deafening solitude.

The solitude is great and all but, feeling like I am starring in Mean Girls most days fucking sucks.

How do we feed?

We take energy and change it into a luminous pure energy during the cleaning fires of orgasm and then we use this pristine energy to heal people/places/things/animals.

Leslie writes, When I worked in this plane I would find a willing human energy donor and then use the energy to heal horses. Now that I’ve completed my goal in this plane, I’ve moved on to another plane; I, like Jaclyn, feed from negative entities. I use the same method to clean the energy but depending on the entity the energy can be immense. The excess energy is given to Mother, for the “war” and I believe she sends it out to her daughters that need healing. And I keep some of the energy for myself. People like Jaclyn and myself had to become Succubi. We expend a massive amount of energy because of our level of Magick.

The point of this blog is to show people that we are not all monsters, of course there are some in the bunch who abuse their power but that is with ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE.

Aspects of us are Monstrous but Maternal; we want freedom, and liberation for all beings.

The real issue is that the world is terrified of strong Women; especially strong Women who are sexually free, and empowered.

We stand proudly in our fire of truth, in our power of sex, and do the jobs that require real sacrifice and Shadow Work while others skim the surface.

This is who Mother created us to be.

This is who we are:

Not superior, just refusing to be treated inferior.

CALLING THE DARK GODDESS: The Rise of the Rebellious Woman

May 9, 2017

Laura Sheridan

Image: Laura Sheridan

“What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now. You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank. Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term “mangina.” Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.”

Jessica Valenti

I don’t know if I have been thinking a lot about the Dark Goddess because that is what our third book focuses on and so my creative mind is kind of already there; I don’t know if it’s because I honor the Dark Goddess in all Her forms and walk Her path; I don’t know if it’s because there really is a trend happening.

Maybe it’s all three, and more.

But, the Dark Goddess is EVERYWHERE.

Kali. Lilith. Hekate. Baba Yaga.

Just to name a few.

What is it about these Archetypes that is calling out to Women (and Men) of all walks of life?

Why are these deities resonating with us on a Soul level?

Because we are in great need of their lessons.

Let’s face it, the world is full of angry Women.

I know, I know, lots of people are angry but I am focusing on the Women because this part is important.

For centuries upon centuries Women have been oppressed, our place in recent history always dictated by Men.

Our worth, our body image, our sensuality, our sexuality, our intelligence, our independence and then some have all been stolen, watered down, demonized, stigmatized, and dictated by a Patriarchal structure that was put in place to serve Men; giving them power to decide what we can and cannot do with our own bodies, for example.

Funny how Erectile Dysfunction drugs are (usually) always covered under insurance plans but birth control, annual exams, abortion, and all issues related to the Vagina and Women’s overall health becomes a political debate.

Our issues often having to go through every branch of Government multiple times to deem what is constitutional and what is not. Our Sisters in countries with no Constitution have it much worse.

That speaks volumes.

The fact that this even happens is proof that Women are NOT treated as equals; we are in some cases not even treated as human beings.

This is NOT some woes me post.

This is NOT a man hating post, either.

If you are not one of the Men I refer to; the kind who oppress, abuse and inflict some ridiculous double standard on Women then none of my words should affect or offend you. If they do, maybe you should evaluate those parts of yourself.

Men face their own set of challenges. Just one example: ridiculous standards of what Masculinity is, and if they do not meet those standards and/or criteria they are called “gay”.

Which our society has somehow twisted it into being an insult.

Being a Woman, and/or a homosexual is an insult.

What have we become?

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way and we make sure there are no misunderstandings, let me carry on with the article.

What do these Goddesses teach us?

What do they all have in common?

Let’s go over that a bit.

Kali teaches us the power of justified rage, and wrath that knows no bounds. She teaches us to be unapologetic with our less than savory emotions and feelings. She teaches us the power of destruction, and the necessity of “killing off all that is old” in order to rise anew.

Lilith teaches us that sexuality, sensuality, lust, individuality and power are not to be feared in a Woman; they are to be honored. She teaches us not to be shamed, or ashamed of what we are and the Serpent and Fruit we carry with us.

Hekate teaches us that life is neither black nor white but it’s full of gray areas; just like Magick. She teaches us how to hunt; in this modern-day context that means she teaches us when to fight, and when to save our energy. She illuminates truth and calls for justice; she is a voice for the forgotten Woman, child and every underdog of society. She teaches us that death is not to be feared but respected. Our journeys into the Underworld of our Soul are essential to the ascension process.

Baba Yaga teaches us the power of our anger and nastiness; she teaches us that we do not need to conform to what society wants us to be, or thinks we should be. Baba teaches us the wisdom of the Crone, the liberation of being self-reliant and the strength that comes from being forced to survive a night in the woods alone.

These Goddesses would be considered Rebellious Women.

Women who are too opinionated, too wild and completely unable to be tamed. They would be shunned—labeled as outcasts, misfits.

As we face an uncertain future we need angry, loud, unafraid, non-conforming, NASTY WOMEN more than ever.

I know the future is never clear but with the current political firestorms erupting, times are even more uncertain.

These Goddesses are not coming to us, calling out to those who will listen for no reason, they know they are needed. More and more Women are starting to find their voice, and are willing to speak up and speak out about what they are willing, and not willing to put up with.

In laymen’s terms:

I will not be silenced; we will not be silenced.

This is my body and I will do with it what I see fit—it should not be a Government issue.

My body should not be regulated because I was born with a Vagina.

My body was not created for the pleasure of a Man, or any other human being.

I was not created to be ruled over.

There is only so long you can beat down a group of people before they awaken to the truth, and begin to RISE in protest.

We have seen it coming for years with many marginalized groups—Feminists/Women, LGBTQ and People of Color leading the way.

We are reclaiming our power.

Caged birds don’t remain caged forever; they will always find freedom and their voice to sing.

The Dark Goddesses teach us just that.

SUCCUBUS: How I Discovered I Was a Sexual Vampyr

March 23, 2017

katerina-plotnikova-2

Image: Katerina Plotnikova

“Sex is an emotion in motion.”

Mae West

When people hear the word Succubus they automatically think of Lilith, and from there the opinions split; on one side, we have those who think Succubi are nothing more than Women and She-Devils who are out to abuse, manipulate, and feed off unwilling, and unknowing participants. On the other hand, we have those who understand energy Vampyrism (in all its forms) and that many of us apply a code of ethics and morality to our lifestyle.

If I can go off track for a second and refer to my blog about Psychic Vampyrism (a trait I also carry).

From my experience, not all Succubi can feed on both Psychic debris/energy as well as sexual energy. We each seem to be very particular about what we feed on, and how we do it.

There are also Sanguine Vampyrs who incorporate blood but I will not get into that because a.) I am not Sanguine and therefore don’t feel comfortable talking about their lifestyle and b.) Sanguine’s are secretive like no other because of the stigma attached to their practice. You think Sex Vamps have it bad, try being a “blood sucking Vamp” and it gets a lot worse.

They don’t have some weird fetish with blood, at least not generally speaking, they just happen to receive energy that way. I look at it like this, if their participant is willing and not being abused, then no one is in any position to judge adults partaking in taboo acts. I think this goes for all alternative lifestyles.

I feel like my entire fucking life is taboo, and that is why I try so hard to see all points of view no matter how radical, or archaic they seem to me.

Anyhoo…

I talked about Psychic Vampyrism getting a bad rap, and that many of us are truly misunderstood healers.

Of course, as with every group of people, there are good ones in the bunch and there are bad ones in the bunch, you can’t clump us all together. I would not clump all Luciferians, or Satanists together, nor do I clump all Witches together. I know that while we may have things in common we are still very much individuals in every way, and our experiences, no matter how parallel, are subjective, too.

I bring up Psychic Vampyrism because just like them, Succubi either generate complete fascination, or total disdain. Again, completely misunderstood.

I can’t speak for every one out there, duh, and I say that frequently; I just want to tell my story because I get asked questions about this all. the. time.

I am certain some of what I write will raise eyebrows but fuck it. Right?

When I say that I have always been connected to sexual energy, I mean it quite literally.

I remember, and my Mom has backed it up (how embarrassing) that I was masturbating at age 4, and very much in tune with my body. It was much more than just “curious touch”. I remember reaching orgasm at age 6, and from then on nothing was really the same; it’s like a switch flipped.

Some kids had their blankets, and favorite toys, while I masturbated for comfort, insomnia, and as I quickly found out, energy.

I know how this sounds, and I can hear the “you need fucking therapy” comments already.

I have been to therapy, and had many breakthroughs. To be clear, I was not shown how to masturbate, and was not a victim of sexual abuse until I was 8 going on 9; looking back on it and drudging it up in countless therapy sessions as mentioned, the abuse didn’t victimize me.

In a sense, it fascinated me but also made me feel angry and dirty; emotions I couldn’t reconcile until I was older and understood what consent was. Without consent, it’s assault. No one at that young of an age should be experiencing sexual touch with any partner; it should, for obvious reasons, be a solo act. Children are off limits, to everything. Parents should talk to their children about healthy touch and experiencing their own bodies, and not shaming them for it. Talk to any Doctor and they will say, masturbation is normal (probably not at such a young age as myself, but it is normal and nothing to be worried about).

To the surprise of many, including myself, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18. When I was in High School I was going through so much at home, both mundane and Magickally related that boys and sex were just not on my mind like they were my friends’. I had crushes but, they were based on quirks I saw or because a guy was smart, not because he was hot, popular or a good lay.

Once I had sex though, it was as if I had opened Pandora’s Box.

I was not shy, or timid, even during my first time; I remember it hurting so bad that it turned me on even more; the very beginning of my journey down the Masochist rabbit hole.

I enjoyed being dominated but also fighting for dominance myself and afterwards all I could think was, “This is one time, and one guy, imagine what else is out there.”

For many years, I unknowingly was feeding every time I would have a sexual encounter, which was frequent. Sex made me feel empowered, and strong but there were some partners that made me feel heavy; I was taking on their demons and didn’t even know it.

It was not until I encountered a fellow Succubus and she showed me the ropes did I understand that not all partners should be consumed, and not all partners are worthy of us; while Succubi feed off their partner’s life force, their partner also gets a “high” from being in contact with us. Our energy is like no other and often we will hear people say, “I don’t know why, I am just so attracted to you.” We also get comments about how comforting our homes and bedrooms can be.

Therefore, many Succubi are irresistible to their targets when they really put their intentions behind it.

By the way, the consumption of a partner is not just energy wise, either, it’s literal. You should not consume a partner’s vaginal secretions, or semen unless you know for sure you can handle all that comes with it. When we take in their bodily fluids either orally or through our genitals, we are taking in their life force; unless you have a filter set up, you will absorb the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I did not have a filter for the entire time I was having sex; so from ages 18-29 I was having sex freely, wildly, and in a way only a youth with no worries could fuck.

Every single one of those encounters came back to bite me in the ass.

I started to have dreams that were not dreams at all but flashes of memory, but not my own—the memories of people I slept with. I was having fears that made no sense, and began to have health issues that also made no sense. I had taken in too much bad energy without transmuting it to be beneficial, and it caused an Auric tear that allowed a lot of negative debris to come in.

I sought out my Sister Witch who is the Succubus mentioned earlier, and she helped me harness my power and then, I became celibate.

Makes sense, huh? A Succubus being celibate…

But, I had no choice.

I had to clean out all the psychic and sexual debris that I took on, and I had to heal the wounds created in childhood, and young adulthood; I also had to focus on myself because I was at the peak of my Spiritual Awakening.

In 2013 I stopped having sex, and for 1 year and 1 day, I did not even masturbate; I truly needed a full detox of all sexual energy because I had abused it, and in turn it abused me.

When I began to play with sexual energy again it was entirely different; I started with my own, obviously. Masturbation is one of the most efficient ways for us to get energy, and even though it is not considered Vampyrism, as you are using or recycling your own life force, it is something we can and should do in times of drought, so to speak. It is also a guaranteed way to make sure we are not taking in negative energy.

After I harnessed my own, newly awakened Shakti charged energy, I began to incorporate other’s.

This was done through long distance feeding, and usually through synchronized masturbation or, in a few cases the targets were actively engaging in sexual intercourse, and they allowed me to tap in, and feed. The most efficient way for us to get energy is obviously through sexual intercourse, or engaging in sexual acts ourselves but we can be creative with our feeding, too.

For me, it seems that I inherently take on, or seek out negative energy in other people; when I studied my Irish heritage, I discovered my Sin-eating ability and I think it connects to my Succubi side.

Sin eating was a practice that originated in Southern England but quickly spread throughout the UK. Usually a dying or recently deceased person would transfer their sins into a loaf of bread and pint of ale; the Sin-eater would come eat the bread, drink the ale taking on the sins of the dead, and allowing the person to be granted access to Heaven. For more history on this practice click here.

Succubi are the embodiment of all that is carnal and primal within us; she reflects the wild side of our sexual nature, and true empowerment through sexual acts. She shows us not to be ashamed by our desires, and deviations but to embrace them.

The Succubus is a misunderstood healer, a stigmatized and demonized Woman; someone who knows exactly what she wants sexually.

In many ways, the Succubus is the ultimate Feminist.

For these facts alone she is feared.

This is why Lilith is our Mother.

Run Wild

May 15, 2015

Image: Ludovic Florent’s series “Poussières d’étoiles” (Stardust)

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories… water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estés

We seem to have lost touch with our wild side, this is equally accurate for both men and women alike, but for the sake of this piece, I am going to specifically focus, and talk to my fellow Wild Women. I want to reach out to the Women of this planet, and let them know they are not alone—YOU are not alone. The only way for us to ascend as a planet is to first ascend as individuals and then together. From my observations, and from being a Woman myself, I can attest to the fact that we are too hard at times, most times, on ourselves and our fellow Woman, it is past damn time that we embrace each other. We are all Her, and She is Us.

You guys know I am on a Goddess quest, and for those who read the NR Facebook page, then you know that I have started reading, Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I can say with certainty that my new Goddess path, and this book have already impacted, and changed my life in great ways.

I started reading the book and page after page I noticed two things; first, I was empowered, second, I was angry. I could hear Her roaring from deep within, my own Wild Woman that I had oppressed to fit into society’s mold of who, and what I am supposed to be. We are not taught that we are all Goddesses in our own right, we are not taught the power that comes in our femininity, and sexuality, we are not taught that it is in our mind, our voice, and our feelings that the true essence of Divine power exists. There is nothing, in my opinion, more Divine than a Woman. But, She has become beaten, and watered down so She is silent, discouraged, cowered in a corner.

Let them hear you growl.

I feel like even now in 2015 there are cultural norm’s that need not be norms anymore. I mean, has anything good ever come from being “normal”?

Why is it that a Woman is considered less than if she chooses to not have children? Is this question asked of the men? Why is it that we have become consumed by this body shaming campaign? Where it seems that “Team Fat” and “Team Thin” are battling it out; as someone who leans more towards the fat team, but has batted for the skinny team before, I say, why can’t we all just grasp the concept that ALL Women are beautiful, all bodies are beautiful, all people are beautiful.

If you have to put another down, to build yourself up then you are weak. I think a skinny Woman is just as Divinely delicious, as someone who is fat. Yes, I said the F word. Oh. My. Gawd. Did you hear that profanity?

We are starting to take the power back with the word bitch, so now it is time that we take the power back with the word fat. For me personally this word has cut deeper than any object ever could, but this word will not haunt me anymore, this word will not define me, I will define it.

I am a Woman who is going through menopause at 30, I have had numerous surgeries. I have chronic health issues, and I love food! If you put all of this into an equation the answer you get is weight gain but I could be dead. So if given the choice between death, and being happy and fat, I will choose the latter, any and every day. While on the topic, fat does NOT always mean unhealthy.

Continuing on…

The wage gap in the U.S. and around the world is astonishing, but in our male dominated society the real issue/s affecting Women keep being swept under the rug. There are certain states wishing to jail Women for having a miscarriage, one Woman sits in jail for just that, actually. We can discuss the politics of how she disposed of the dead baby, but to jail her? Come on! How about the rape laws being passed? Or, the infamous Hobby Lobby decision in regards to birth control pills?

The reality is that this is a male world, for now, and we are just living in it. We are entering the time of Aquarius, and we are reminded of love and feminine energy. We are leaving the heavy male energy that is Pisces. I hope that some of this cosmic energy shift has an effect on people because right now, the way things are, I feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone. (Insert creepy music)

Why are there so many unnecessary expectations put onto Women? I feel like we are given a one inch area to exist within, and if we step outside of that box, that zone, we are automatically considered damaged goods, and labeled all types of things–Slut. Bitch. Whore.

If we dare to speak out against the injustices Women face, or the equality we demand we are suddenly labeled “angry feminists who have daddy issues”. If we ask for wage equality we are greedy, or as it was pointed out on Fox “News” today–Women are “less ambitious”. (Disclaimer: I am being sarcastic, and I would never cite Fox as an actual news source.)

So, to my fellow Woman, please read these words:

Live this life how you see fit, push the boundaries and then push some more. Climb mountains with peaks as high as the sky, and dare to go higher. Be at the mercy of your emotions, and no matter how many times your heart is broken, make sure to love again and harder still. Do not be defined, or confined by the labels that anyone dare to put on your soul, your sexuality, gender identity, or your body. Do not allow another to make decisions for you, ever, and don’t be guilt tripped into anything; stand your ground! Make more love than you do war. Find peace in your crumbled past, and solace in your bright future. Get dirt under your fingernails, and mud on your feet. Take care of your Self first and foremost. Love the skin you are in, tell your body how beautiful She is, and how much you love Her. Never take anything for granted. Live and love fiercely, and with a passion. Follow your intuition before the voices of doubt in your head. And, never forget to howl at the Moon as often as you can.

We were wild once, I plan on getting back to my roots.

Now let them hear you roar.

Sacred Blood

March 28, 2015

Image: Larissa Morais

“When she bleeds the smells I know change color. There is iron in her soul on those days. She smells like a gun.”

Jeanette Winterson

I promised myself that I would leave this subject alone, and that I would not add my two cents in, but as usual, I have broken that promise to myself. If you have been on social media the last few days then I am sure you have heard of Rupi Kaur, if you do not know her name, then you surely know her picture. She is the woman who posted a picture of herself in bed with a menstrual leak in her pants, and on her sheets. If you are a woman who has had her period, or a woman who is still active in her cycle, then I am sure this is not a new sight to your eyes. If you are unfamiliar with the story, Rupi is working on a photo project, a series of what it is to be a woman in this patriarchal society, she posted this candid image of herself in a vulnerable moment, and posted it to Instagram, and it was removed. This picture has caused a revolution of sorts, and an uproar on all social media platforms. It appears that we are very much split down the middle, and the two groups are those in support of, and those who think it is disgusting. You know what I think is disgusting? That women are the main culprit of this lack of understanding, and I have read thousands of comments over the last two days of Women saying that Miss Kaur should, “show some class”, “keep things private”, “we don’t have to share everything”, and my favorite, “is nothing sacred anymore?” As I rip my hair from my head, I want to scream, “MENSTRUAL BLOOD IS SACRED!!! YOU FUCKING FOOLS!”

I know at this point you are probably wondering why I am writing about this. My answer to that is that I write about injustices that I see, and I stick to no specific topic. I am going to give some Occult history, and actual historical information regarding menstrual blood and the Sacred spot it has held in every civilization. It seems that just like everything else that empowers the Woman, this too, has been swept under the rug. I find it funny that society objectifies the Woman every single day but the very thing that makes us Woman is to be hidden, frowned upon. This used to be a time that the Woman was celebrated. I think it is time that the Divine Feminine states her claim; They must hear us roar. This was at no time supposed to be a patriarchal society, and I think it is time for a refresher course.

I was 27 when I had my hysterectomy, as I sit here at the young age of 30, I struggle with my “womanliness” almost every day. I see so many Women who have chosen not to have children and jokingly (some seriously) say that they want sterilization, or a hysterectomy; While I understand the thought process behind this, I mean who wants their period if they do not want children, I think this is a rash decision; But, I judge none, and to each their own. I think if a woman chooses that she wants to have these elective surgeries that is her right, but do you know how hard it is to find a doctor who will perform the procedure, if there is no health issue? I mean, do doctors give single men, with no children the same hassle that they give to single women with no children, when the male goes in for a vasectomy? If it were not for my underlying health issues, and I really only had heavy, heavy periods, would I have been denied the hysterectomy? My periods were so bad that I would have to stay in bed for days, I couldn’t work during it, and the flow was so heavy that I ruined more underwear, sheets, and pants than I could ever think to count.

Why am I being so honest you wonder? Because I think that having a period is a beautiful experience, and one that the Goddess herself has blessed humanity with. If it weren’t for our monthly bleeding, humans wouldn’t be able to create. Or does everyone forget about that? We can only love the Woman when she is submissive, and objectified? We cannot love the Woman if her belly is swollen from her period, and there is sacred blood seeping from her vagina? She isn’t sexy then? We can’t talk about those moments? Why? I say fuck it, and embrace who you are. Embrace those cramps, and that blood that stained your favorite pair of underwear, embrace your ability to create IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO. Embrace your inner Woman and everything that comes with Her. Embrace the chocolate cravings, mood swings, the late night trips to get tampons, and pads that are the size of your arm, the salt cravings to counteract the sweets, a good cry with a movie, and you guessed it, your Divine Blood.

Do not be ashamed of who you are, especially not on the account of someone else, and their level of comfort on the subject. I am going to give some history on menstrual blood, I will also give a link to an article talking about Rupi and her photo. I hope, if nothing else, this post brings you out of your comfort zone, only then can we see things for how they truly are.

“Women have been associated with the moon for longer than the human being has been human. Unlike early man, Woman could bleed in harmony with the cycles of the Moon, and not be harmed. When Women live together in close proximity, their cycles become coordinated; in natural light they tend to ovulate on or around the full Moon, and bleed on or around the waning or dark Moon. Furthermore, menstrual blood has very Magickal qualities: it attracts some animals and repels others; and it is an excellent fertilizer. Imagine the effect this had upon early man, who bled only with great danger or harm; and who survived on hunting and agriculture.”

“Menstruation is the most regular thing to happen to human beings. Herein lies the genuine power of menstruation, and what it has meant to human history. Menstruation and its connection to the regular movements of the moon, gave us time in large exact measurements and proportion. Without menstruation and the sciences of measurement Women developed from watching first the moon and then the stars, there would be no clocks or watches, no astronomers, no mathematicians or physicists, no astronauts, none of the architecture and engineering which have been born from exact measurement and proportion. We could build a nest, like a bird; but not a pyramid or rectangle or any other regular, geometric shape. Geometry was a gift of menstruation.”

“The oldest word for menstruation means “woman’s friend”. In some cultures, menstruation was originally called “tupua”, a Polynesian word meaning valuable, sacred, wonderful, Magickal; the word/concept “taboo” developed from it.”

“The days of menstruation were set apart from other days. In Babylonia, they were called “sabbatu” from which we get “Sabbat / Sabbath”. Repeated practices that Women developed in order to teach, confirm, and make social the powers of menstruation were called by words derived from “ritu” — at base, rituals and rites mean public menstrual practices.”

“The female genital, source of blood for the Magick of hunting and agriculture, source of keeping track of time, source of counting and measuring, source of geometry and babies and umbilical cords and the knowledge of tying, of connections; of flowering and fruiting and desiring — the female genital was worth-shipped, the female body was held valuable as a source and as a force; held valuable because of the sciences its mind produced and the wealth of culture that followed after.”

“So HOW did we get from “worshiping” and “the Woman’s friend” to “icky curse”? The answer is a long story of power, authority, their abuse, and public relations. One of the most important and astonishing stories on earth concerns the jealousy many men feel toward women — their Magickal menstrual and birthing powers, and the solutions they have developed to deal with this.”

“In cultures throughout the world, there are male practices that involve some kind of genital cuts to imitate a bleeding vagina. For example, even when a male Jew is born circumcised, he must endure a cut because it is necessary that blood actually flow from the genitals. In many aboriginal tribes this involves more severe practices — even the cutting of the underside of the penis — called “subcision”. In some tribes, the older women tell the young girls, “Don’t laugh at the menstruating men.” They know what is going on — and now so do we. In Greek myth, the Greek hero (originally one who was dedicated to the service of the Goddess, “Hera”) Herakles (later Hercules) goes on a journey to steal the Shamaness belt of the Amazon Queen, Hippolyta.”

We are Woman, our blood is Divine.

The Nephilim Rising

Posts tagged with Feminist

THE RETURN OF THE TOO MUCH WOMAN

The Women Are Angrier

RANTINGS OF A MAD WITCH: I Will Not Submit, I Will RESIST

TRIGGER WARNING

LESSONS IN MAGICK: The Strength of Sisterhood

SUCCUBUS: The Truth You Don’t Want to Hear

CALLING THE DARK GODDESS: The Rise of the Rebellious Woman

SUCCUBUS: How I Discovered I Was a Sexual Vampyr

Run Wild

Sacred Blood

**TRIGGER WARNING**

TRIGGER WARNING