“Fat-bashing in all its varied forms–criticism, exclusion, shaming, fat talk, self-deprecation, jokes, gossip, bullying–is one of the last acceptable forms of prejudice. From a very young age, before they can walk away or defend themselves, Women are taught that they are how they look, not what they do or what they know.”
Robyn Silverman
Within the Craft I often see areas where social issues intersect with our community issues, and body shaming is one of the main intersections I see, and cross.
“Isn’t there a Spell for weight loss?”
“Why are Witches always fat girls?”
“Angry Feminists are created because they are FAT and Men don’t want FAT Women, so they turn to Feminism.”
I have not only seen these statements made to others, they’ve been made to me, too.
I faced similar scrutiny when I was skinny which only proves that people will have their opinions regardless.
The number one insult many people resort to when berating or degrading, particularly Women, is to attack their weight; second to that is attacking their looks.
It’s childish.
It’s elementary.
It’s usually baseless.
But, it fucking hurts.
Even the most confident person can be affected by the piercing words and hate of another.
I am not a skinny Woman and have never hid that fact; if you have been reading my stuff since the beginning then you know the health issues I have been through.
The thing that gets me the most when it comes to society and, brace yourselves, I’m going to say it, FAT PEOPLE, is that society attached HUGE (no pun intended) stigmas to weight.
There’s this idea that if someone is fat they are automatically unhealthy; yes, I know the health risks of excess fat on the human body.
BUT, being overweight doesn’t mean the person sits on the couch eating chips and sweets all day long or does not put forth effort to become healthy.
For me, it’s a culmination of having 7 abdominal surgeries in 4 years all due to female health issues: PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), Endometriosis, Uterine Fibroid, and Cervical Cancer.
The final surgery that pushed my body over the edge was a full hysterectomy at 27.
A hysterectomy is shocking to the system at any age, but at the age of 27 it’s A LOT to handle, and being thrust into menopause is no easy task, either. Menopause comes with its own set of issues, and even though I am on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) to get back the estrogen my body no longer produces, I am still faced with the reality of menopausal symptoms and potential complications (bone loss, higher risk of heart disease, weight gain, etc.).
When I had the hysterectomy, my body lost its proverbial mind and sent my thyroid out of whack (I have since been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s) and other auto immune diseases started to pop up.
So, yes, while I am not in optimal health, it’s not because I eat unhealthy or do not exercise; it’s because my body has been through SO MUCH TRAUMA.
I have been through so much trauma.
People don’t see the effort, or the health issues when they see me, or others shaped like me, they just see a fat girl (or person).
I keep saying fat people, and fat on purpose; they are used as insults, and we need to start taking some of that power back.
The F word makes everyone uncomfortable, and for that reason alone, it should be shouted from the mountain tops.
Fat.
Fat.
Fat.
All three F words might be too much: Fuck. Feminist. Fat.
*gasp*
Like I said above, the word HURTS when used against us—equally by ourselves, and others; that is why we need to start breaking down some of that negative energy.
I am not in any way condoning a “Fat lifestyle” and by that, I mean not taking care of yourself because of (for example) untreated depression, or other health issues that you refuse to face.
It also means that you are responsible for the food you put in your mouth, and the amount of activity you have throughout your day.
Me? I eat a balanced diet, I watch sugar and carb intake, I practice 2 styles of Yoga, I meditate, I have made water my friend. I hike throughout the spring, summer and fall. I am not pre-diabetic, I do not have high cholesterol, I do not have heart issues, or any major joint stress (Arthritis in my hips is not from the weight, though the excess weight doesn’t help. But, Yoga does!).
I do have, at times, borderline high blood pressure but that’s because I am a ball of anxiety.
I mean, it’s to be expected.
Because ANXIETY.
A foundation of Magick is in the art of loving ourselves, for we are the root of our Power.
How can we love ourselves if we simultaneously hate ourselves? When we hate our bodies? When we allow the opinions of others to be taken on as our truth?
If you are fat and unhappy PUT FORTH THE WORK TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
If you are fat and happy, then live your life!
Again, I’m not suggesting it’s healthy to be fat but it’s a complex, layered issue and one that is between each individual person and their healthcare provider.
Personally, I have put in the effort, and continue to do so, but it’s like I have hit a plateau; my body is the way it is.
Surgery is traumatic.
Illness is traumatic.
The point of this blog is not to grant permission for being fat, or unhealthy, I do not intend to enable anyone, either; it’s to bring forth and start the conversation.
EVERYONE has a story they write and a battle they fight every single day.
What we see on the outside, while an indicator of internal and environmental well-being, is only a fraction of who and what people are.
Don’t be so quick to judge, you might miss out on an amazing Soul because their weight, or other external factors, made you uncomfortable.
Maybe you need that discomfort.