F*CKING: Screw Your Definition of Sacred

Matthew Gaynor

Image: Matthew Gaynor

“Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.”

Charles Bukowski

It seems since the page has taken a different route lately that I am being met with a lot of resistance, and back lash from my readership; both males and females alike have been up in arms over the sexual content and discussions happening regularly now.

Quite frankly, I’m shocked.

I am not new to the blogging/writing world, or being an Admin and I am most certainly not new to the concept that people don’t agree with everything I post but, to see people so upset over sex, and sexual articles on an Occult page is baffling.

I thought, overall, that we were a pretty open-minded community to all kinds of taboo topics, lifestyles, and desires; even though we need to do some serious work within the community about accepting our own.

Have I underestimated my fellow Witches and Occultists, or have I just been blessed with meeting some glorious douchebags?

I wrote a little rant on the page recently, and a blog a few weeks ago that touched on this topic and I thought for sure it would die down but, it’s only gotten worse.

One comment that was made twice has been ruminating:

“The Admin of this page is promoting empty Spiritualism by promoting Whoredom. There is no such thing as a Sacred Whore.”

First of all, I was offended.

I don’t “promote” anything; I tell my story from my perspective with a splash of practical advice and interesting articles I find along the way.

I have stated MANY times that I don’t want people to think like me, therefore what do I promote?

Whatever. I let that part go but, empty Spiritualism?

There is nothing empty about me,

Or my page.

Let’s make one thing clear: Consensual Sex is always Sacred.

Yup, even drunken one night stands; the boring, the passionate, the sloppy, the kinky, the sweaty and everything in between—it’s ALL Sacred.

You can give it pretty names like “making love” or “physical union” or you can simply say fucking–either way, it all originates from the same place, and it truly is all Sacred.

Let us not forget the emotional part though; different types of sex do require different emotional responses and sex is an amazing outlet to express oneself.

I debated with one guy who commented and his rebuttal at one point was, “by commercializing sex (ie. Sex work, prostitution, etc.) and engaging in casual sexual activity that it took away the sanctity of it all.”

I couldn’t disagree more.

Sidenote: sex work is work and I fully support sex worker’s rights.

There are many facets and layers to sex, sexual acts and sexual desires.

Sex is not “one size fits all”.

As stated in posts before if there is suppression of emotional, physical or Spiritual trauma that is causing the sexual promiscuity or perversion, if you will, then the issue needs to be addressed so that you can heal and move on.

But, if you happen to just really like sex, if you happen to just like multiple partners, or kink, or orgies, or anything else that your heart desires simply because it feels good and it is what YOU WANT TO DO, then more power to you!

To be inclusive, if you aren’t interested in sex and are a-sexual, or gray ace, more power to you, too!

Sex and sexual identity are complex issues.

Back to my point, the thought that I’m promoting “empty spiritualism” is crazy…

True spirituality is found in living, breathing, and becoming our most authentic self; one could say that Nirvana could be reached by this very practice.

Our truest, most authentic self is the pathway to our higher self which is the gateway to ascension.

Maybe my authentic self is being celibate for now or forever, maybe yours is one partner, maybe someone else’s is fucking the whole neighborhood; we each experience sex differently and no one way is the right way.

Our sexual Self is our primal nature embodied; it’s one of the rawest, truest forms of expression (this part is key which is why I said it twice).

As for commercializing sex as said in the comment, I don’t see a problem with it. People have exchanged sexual favors for money/goods/status since the beginning of recorded human history.

Let me point out that I am not including the horrific practice of sex trafficking (obviously) nor am I suggesting that there is no such a thing as forced prostitution; something that is very dangerous for the worker.

My keywords here are: safe and consensual.

I am talking about the fact that there *is* such a thing as safe, consensual sex work (regardless if it is illegal or considered immoral by some standards).

And, I personally do not think that money being involved takes away from the act being Sacred.

Since when does Sacred mean unity with one other person under specific circumstances, candles lit all around, and chanting some Ancient hymns?

Why can’t someone’s Sacred be wild, passionate fucking and/or multiple partners?

We all get off on different things, and I think that just like sex, Sacred is subjective.

When we start to force yet another stereotype of how we “should be” we lose sight of who we are.

We all judge people to one degree or another it’s human nature but, we really need to get over ourselves and stop judging people for their sexual desires and what they choose to do as a consenting adult.

Judging someone based upon the type of sex they have is self-righteous, sanctimonious, and rooted in superiority; not to mention it’s none of our goddamn business.

To sum it up, sex is energy, Sacred energy at that; energy may change but it always remains.

Certain situations make the energy more potent than others but it’s Sacred, even when it makes you uncomfortable and challenges your moral compass.

If you are projecting your morality on to others, something tells me your true motives need to be brought to light and questioned.

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.”

Oscar Wilde