The Great Teacher: Lessons from Water

 

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Image: Ilse Moore

“Always be like a water. Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface.”

Santosh Kalwar

Some days I just want to scream, “I am not as strong as you think I am!”

Or, perhaps I want to scream, “I am stronger than I think I am!”

Regardless of perspective, some days my heaviness, my darkness weighs me down, too.

There are days where my depth is too much for even myself to swim, and I just want to retreat to the shallows where I can lick my wounds, and catch my breath.

The problem with that is, I don’t know how to exist in the shallows of life, love, Magick, any of it; I only know depth.

And, the lessons from water don’t follow my rules, or what I find comfortable.

Water holds no prejudice, it does not ask permission, water just does; water pushes its way through whatever obstacle it encounters with gentle or great force because water always gets what it wants.

It’s on these difficult days when the waves keep coming that people around me seem to need me the most, leaving me alone to struggle, claw and fight my way out of the Abyss after taking on their baggage—because it’s what I do.

It’s what people like myself do.

We seek to understand.

Clawing my way back from the Abyss is not anything new for me, in fact I do it for fun sometimes; yes, you read that right. I think a lot can be learned by plummeting into our psyche, and the collective unconscious—it is only through feeling the suffering first hand can we understand the suffering.

I swear, as the days go by Buddhism makes more and more sense.

Understanding doesn’t mean we no longer experience it; simply means we experience it in diverse ways.

Pain and emotion, like everything else, have levels and evolves with us.

Today is one of those days where the weight of my world is crushing me.

I tried to channel this insanely chaotic energy into housework, cleaning my Sacred Space, yoga and grounding; not even my long shower helped calm the storm, and that always works.

I can’t make new things for the Shop because I don’t want this negativity to go into my work.

I can’t transmute the energy and absorb it yet because I am still trying to understand and heal (a point maybe only other Vamps and/or energy workers will relate to).

Now in a last-ditch effort, I am letting music take me away and turning to words for assistance.

There was a family emergency this morning, on top of it being my late Grandfather’s birthday today; he always comes through the strongest on this day, and the sadness I feel is gut-wrenching. There is still so much regret that surrounds his and my grandmother’s passing. Lessons of their own, I suppose.

Transformation is never easy, evolution is never easy but this, this is next level craziness.

The Cancer New Moon on my Solar Return this year has caused the flood gates to open, and gratitude overflows with those raging waters for the blessings coming my way but it doesn’t make the current any easier to navigate; let alone keep my head above it.

Because with every blessing comes its curse.

There is a Full Moon coming up on July 8th in my rising sign of Capricorn.

You guys know me, you know how much the Moon affects me—I am a triple Cancer for God’s sake.

To make the point of abysmal, watery depths clearer, Neptune is in Retrograde, and a primary ruler of mine.

Saying that I am drowning would be the understatement of all understatements.

But, just like every other time the Abyss has attempted to swallow me whole I become a hurricane, destroy myself and RISE.

To read more about the upcoming ‘Icebreaker’ Full Moon in Capricorn:

http://darkstarastrology.com/full-moon-july-2017/

NEPTUNE RETROGRADE: Epiphanies from the Watery Deep

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Image: American Ghoul aka Daniel Vazquez

“If you think you can grasp me, think again:
my story flows in more than one direction
a delta springing from the riverbed
with its five fingers spread”

Adrienne Rich

The twelfth house, or the “house of the unconscious” is one of the most influential placements in my chart; reason being, I have Pisces in Neptune (its ruling house), a placement simply called, ‘Neptune in the twelfth house’.

I think as we approach this Neptune Retrograde it is important to know what sign your Neptune placement falls in so that you can better navigate the impending storm.

To find out your Neptune and the rest of your chart setup, click here.

The twelfth house is ruled by watery Pisces, and Neptune is its ruling planet–having the two together, playing off the other’s frequency can prove challenging.

To read more about this placement, click here.

There is a lot, A LOT of depth, chaos, even victim hood that comes with this set up in one’s chart. There also comes a need for creativity, freedom, and self-expression that the majority of people will *never* understand.

The article linked above says, “People with Neptune in the 12th House have an entire Universe within that they might even struggle to know and understand. Neptune is in its ruling house here, which can bring out both the best and the worst of the 12th House. The negative aspects of disassociation, projection, and self-victimization can run rampant. But, this can also be the most transcendental, inspirational 12th House planet of all. It does all depend on what the 12th House Neptune individual chooses to do with this energy. These people are highly gifted on psychic and creative levels. Their potential to heal and bless the world and themselves is enormous. But, their Neptune needs to be owned first.”

Salvador Dali shares this placement and says his infamous surrealist expressions came from his deep Neptune imagination; an imagination so vast, psychic abilities so deep that he claimed to have in utero memories. He was a Mystic, too, because that Neptune curiosity couldn’t keep him away from what is hidden; we seek what is hidden!

I relate to his creativity, desire to swim the depths of his mind but mostly I relate to his chaos–the chaos of this placement.

Neptune goes Retrograde today and will remain that way until November 24th; this Retrograde begins and ends in the sign of Pisces, it’s ruling sign.

Unlike Mercury Retrograde, Neptune is all about Self: losing yourself to find yourself.

As the Sage Goddess says, “this is all about deconstructing reality” then continues on:

“Currently, Neptune is in the sign of Pisces, its own sign, which magnifies and concentrates its inherent energy. Neptune retrograde, in the sign or domain of consciousness we call Pisces, wants us to slow down…maybe even stop. Pisces is not journeying – the journey belongs to Sagittarius. Pisces is being, letting everything come to you. Neptune is oneness and omnipresence. Its realms are unlimited by our reality structures. It represents cosmic water, or the cosmic womb, the Source of everything, which encompasses everything – the Great Light, Creative Force, Energy, or Spirit. Names mean nothing when everything is one.”

Astrology King says, “Neptune retrograde 2018 starts on June 18 at 16°29′ Pisces and ends on November 24 at 13°41′ Pisces. Neptune retrograde 2018 forms a fortunate aspect pattern called a grand trine. It shows great natural talent and creative potential. Mercury and Jupiter are the other planets involved so there is a hopeful, philosophical and friendly feel to Neptune retrograde this year.

“Neptune retrograde is the ideal time for spiritual self-development. The grand trine aspects and fixed stars involved make Neptune retrograde 2018 especially good for undertaking a spiritual quest to seek the truth. More detail on Neptune retrograde 2018 follows definitions of natal Neptune retrograde and transiting Neptune retrograde.”

He highlights these aspects:

Mercury trine Jupiter brings optimism and good news. Research, study and socializing are favored, and this is one of the best transits for making plans because of your good instincts, future-oriented and positive thinking. Planning or setting off on a journey is favored, especially long distance travels. Particular areas of study which may interest you include religion, law, language and philosophy. Business dealings should go well and this is the ideal time for entering into negotiations and for signing contracts. This is also a good time for all legal matters.

Mercury trine Neptune stimulates your creativity, imagination, sensitivity and spirituality. This a great time for working on anything involving harmony, like poetry, music and dance. Drama would also benefit from your closer inter relatedness with others, or increased empathy. All of your communication skills benefit from a non threatening, caring and soft influence. Your senses will be finely tuned so you can communicate effectively at the non verbal level, through gestures, your eyes, and telepathically. This aspect enhances psychic abilities and intuition.

Jupiter trine Neptune encourages hope, generosity and community spirit. You may undertake a spiritual quest to seek the truth. There may be destined encounters with priests, guru’s or psychics. Others may come to your for spiritual guidance or you can go it alone. Enlightenment can come through dreams, visions or meditation. You can follow your dreams for success without needing to sacrifice your ego or material possessions. Wealth, fame and glamour may come but above you should feel happy and content. Romance is also possible as others find you mysteriously attractive.”

The abysmal depths of the cosmic womb are going to transform us all.

This couldn’t come at a more perfect time, personally; I am going through a shedding process but also a learning process.

The lessons? Slowing down, vibrating higher and drawing boundaries.

I am in desperate need of a slower pace, and some more space.

There’s also, what seems to be, some sort of initiation going on; as if I have passed a test I didn’t know I was taking and now I’m on the home stretch and finally realize what’s going on and as soon as I cross the finish line oblivion, manifestation and the fruits of my labor await.

Not to mention my Solar Return coming up on June 24th, which I will celebrate my 34th rotation around the sun!

I embrace the oncoming necessary internal reflection, chaos and hurricane force winds;

I embrace the need to dive deep;

I embrace getting lost in order to be found;

I embrace reconnecting with myself.

Suddenly, everything makes sense.

Happy swimming, folks.