Lessons in Magick: Boundaries and Deities

December 10, 2022

I was recently forced to take a break from spiritual work because I caught the nasty cold that was going around. Take care of yourself before your body makes you rest. I felt as though I was lazy because I had no energy to do the spiritual work I had been doing. I think I can say that if you get anxiety from needing a break from spiritual work, it needs to be a wake-up call for sure. You need a break. You need to be gentle with yourself. And you need to be able to know when it’s time to step back. You can not pour from an empty cup.

It’s something I’ve told my friends, especially my wife, time and time again. You have to remember to fill your own cup. Sometimes, that means taking a break from spiritual work and remembering to live life. Spiritual work certainly helps with day-to-day living, but not if you’re forgetting what that means.

I’ve spent the last couple of years or so working with Hades and Santa Muerte, albeit casually. It’s only been within the last six months. I’ve really stepped it up to work more seriously with both of them. With wonderful results, mind you, but I was trapping myself without realizing it. I do a lot of work for the people I care about because I genuinely want their lives to be filled with joy, prosperity, and fulfillment. I only recently started concentrating on myself and my needs.

What I found was that I felt guilty if I ever skipped a day working with either of my deities. I felt like I was lazy, and if anything bad were to happen, it would be my fault because I wasn’t keeping the energy flowing. When a novel thought hit me while I was working with Santa Muerte. That gentle voice of, “You have poor boundaries. Work on that.”

That was a punch in the chest. It isn’t on me to save everyone. It isn’t on me to pour energy into things when I certainly don’t feel like doing it. Working with deities shouldn’t become a chore. You chose to work with them, and they understand you are human and fallible. The sky will not fall because you need to take a break and do self-care. I’m having to redefine my relationship with both of them. Hades has always been fatherly and forgiving. “About time.”

And they are both right. I have poor boundaries when it comes to this. Part of it is because I don’t find myself to be a good caretaker in other ways, so I try to make up for it through the spiritual work I do. Which is all fine and good, but if it’s costing me my peace and I’m feeling guilty for not doing more. It’s time to step back, and thankfully I’ve built a good enough relationship with both of them to be made aware of it.

But I think that is also an important thing to learn when working with deities. What your boundaries are and how to respectfully uphold them. It’s a lesson that can be applied across the board from spiritual work to dealing with *other* humans. It’s something that takes time.

Learning to apply it to all areas of your life is key for your mental and spiritual health.

Taroting Depression with the Death Card

July 11, 2022

Probably the most misunderstood card in the deck, Death does not foretell your or anyone else’s demise. Death is about cycles ending.

In order to have the new beginning that we humans often yearn for, something needs to end. So that we can make room for the new.

A short (I’ll try to keep it short) but necessary sidebar)

We can’t have a discussion about Depression and the Death card without mentioning suicide. Many of us, if not all of us, who have Depression have considered our own deaths in one form or another.

We may have made a plan, we may have just wished we’d die, we may have engaged in risky behaviors in what they’re now calling “passively suicidal.”

And when we’re at the bottom of the abyss, death seems so peaceful. A way out of all the pain, particularly if you have spiritual or religious beliefs that mean you’ll go somewhere lovely after death.

However, when you’re well, you know that the cost of Death by Depression is far worse than any benefits. And if, like me, you believe in reincarnation, there’s a very good chance you’d only have to come back and go through it all again.

It’s a much better idea to get it sorted this time around.

In my opinion, nobody should believe that their best option is to be dead. Nobody. (Not talking about euthanasia here, that’s a whole different ballgame).

And the only way we’re going to stop suicide in this world is if we create a society where we actively talk about how we feel. Even if we think those feelings will be considered to be weird, stupid, or attention-seeking.

We also have a responsibility to treat other people’s feelings as important as our own. Nobody matters more than anyone else, nobody is better, smarter, or more entitled to…whatever…than anyone else.

Nobody has their shit together all the time. And it’s time we started to acknowledge that. Nobody thinks in exactly the same way as anyone else. And nobody should be alone.

We need to build a world where being “different” in any way, is celebrated, not scorned.

Okay…Alright…Back to the Topic at Hand

The Death Card. Think of it as a bridge. It’s where you go from one place to another. When it appears in a spread, it brings the message that something is about to end so that something new can start.

When we have Depression, endings can be frightening. Beginnings can be frightening too. The Death card can remind us that we are not alone. We have help as we transition, there are others who have walked before us and many who will walk the same route behind us.

Here’s a very simple exercise to help you get a grip on how the Death card can help you manage your Depression.

Grab your journal or a pen and paper
Place the Death card in front of you and spend some time gazing at it, until you feel your eyes glaze over slightly
Then gaze at the card just a few moments more
Answer the following questions:

What new beginning do I want to manifest?

What will have to end for this to occur?

What else might happen when this ends?

By this time, you know the drill. Just let your hand flow and see what comes to you.

Once you’ve finished writing? Write some more. There’s always room to go deeper and it’s usually in those extra minutes when the real insights come to you.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero through her Mental Health Membership Site: Black Orchid Alchemy. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks, and this link to receive new installments of her online vampire novel: The Childless Mother.

Taroting Depression with the Hanged Man

July 4, 2022

At first glance it may appear as if the Hanged Man has got himself into a tricky situation that he doesn’t know how to get out of.

On second glance however, we can see that he (or she) is quite happy with his situation. He’s literally “just hanging around.” Suspended as you will, in a bid to suspend time.

He needs to stop. Just for a while. But it is a necessary pause to his life and what’s going on around him.

I’m a big believer in pushing ourselves when we need to. The demon Depression would prefer to keep us stuck in the same spot: never moving forward and never making any progress.

Just stuck in our own misery and despair.

However, there are times when we shouldn’t push ourselves. Times when we should take a break, sit still, and pause before our next adventure begins.

The Hanged Man turns up for us when we need to stop. To take stock of what’s going on around us. To rest before life becomes busy and tumultuous again.

No decisions are required here. All you need to do is stop.

Grab a pen and paper and spend some time with the Hanged Man. Let your mind wander wherever it needs to go. This exercise is about recognizing what’s going on around you without making any judgements or forming any opinions. You’re just the observer here.

Here’s some questions to get you going:

What colors do you see in the card:
Can you see any of those colors anywhere else in the room?
What do those colors remind you of?
What smells/aromas does the card bring to mind for you?
What kind of tree is he hanging from?

These may look like pointless, almost silly, questions to be journaling about, but there’s a method to the madness here.

When we have Depression we often get stuck right where we are. We’re not able to see what’s going on around us because we have to concentrate so hard on getting through the next moment.

When we stop, really stop, not just pause for a moment, we can take a good look at what’s going on around us. When we deliberately look for small details it shifts our heads and our focus away from what pains us and gets us to focus on minor things that might just make us smile.

But, it takes practice. Particularly if the demon has a strong hold on us. Working with the Hanged Man card regularly will help you to retrain yourself to stop and take stock of your surroundings.

It’s another effective tool that lessens the power that the demon has over us.

Taroting Depression with the Justice card

June 27, 2022

The Justice card is about balance and fairness, karma, and legal decisions. It can often turn up in a reading when you’re in the middle of a legal debate of some sort and it assures you that the outcome will be a fair and just one.

Now, there ain’t nothing fair and just about Depression.

It hits people randomly, for no good reason and often without warning.

Some people believe that there’s a karmic aspect to Depression: something we’ve done in a past life has come back to haunt us.

I call bullshit on that one. I firmly believe that some of us brave souls have some lessons to learn that only Depression can teach us and that we decide to take on Depression before we incarnate.

I don’t know about you, but my Depression has certainly taught me one or two things that I don’t think I would have learned any other way.

It’s best to work with the Justice card when you need to find the balance in your life. I don’t think it’s a card you should work with if you’re unwell and particularly if you believe in karma.

However, when you’re well, when the demon has left you alone for a while, the Justice card can help you to understand how to achieve a balance in your life. How to balance the scales so that when the demon does hit, you have some tools to fight it off.

Here’s an exercise that will help you get the most from working with Justice.

Sit yourself down with a paper and pen, light a candle, burn some incense or oil, dim the lights, spend a few moments meditating if that helps you relax and access your inner voice (whatever you call it).

Place the Justice card in front of you while you do this, so that you’ll have some inspiration.

On one side of your piece of paper, I want you to write down all the things that are unfair about your Depression. Here’s a few to get you started:

I often have to cancel plans I’ve made for social gatherings
I can’t hold down a job
I can’t maintain friendships

Once you think you’ve finished your list, ask yourself “What else?” and keep going for a few more minutes. Longer, if you feel the need.

Now, on the opposite side of the page, I want you to write the facts about your unfair list. But write them in an affirming way. Like this:

I often have to cancel plans I’ve made for social gatherings – I sometimes have to cancel plans I’ve made for social gatherings but sometimes I get to party.
I can’t hold down a job – I haven’t kept a job longer than…but it’s certainly possible that I will in the future.
I can’t maintain friendships – People come in and out of my life as they need to and I will develop long-term friendships when I’m able.

Your affirming list doesn’t have to be something you necessarily believe in, it just has to be based on the facts, Ma’am. If you’re struggling to come up with your affirming list, send me an email and I’ll help you sort it.

Once you’ve finished your list I want you to take that piece of paper and place it beside your bed so that it’s in front of you when you need it. The next time the demon gets you and you find your thoughts are leaning towards the unfairness of it all, grab your list and read through the affirming side of your paper.

And you can read it as many times as you need to. That’s what it’s for.

Taroting Depression with The Wheel of Fortune

June 13, 2022

The Wheel of Fortune is a reminder that all life flows in circles. This is a reminder that most of us with Depression need. Badly. And often.

When we’re in the throes of a bout of Depression, it can be easy to think that this is the way that things will always be. The Wheel of Fortune reminds us that it’s not.

Things will get better and things might get worse. That is the nature of life. The one thing you can guarantee is that things will always be changing.

Yes. Even when you have Depression.

An episode of Depression may lead you to believe that each day is the same. It seems that way when you’re stuck in the bottom of the abyss. Only things aren’t the same. There are always small shifts, sometimes so small that you don’t recognize them.

It’s not until afterwards that we can look back and see where those shifts occurred.

The Wheel of Fortune isn’t a quick fix. That’s the point. It’s a reminder that “this too shall pass.” A glimmer of hope when it all seems too much.

It’s also a poignant reminder for those of us who live with Depression but are in a “well” phase. Although you feel good right now, there’s a mighty good chance that tomorrow will be a reminder of just how devastating the demon Depression can be.

So, how do we work with the Wheel of Fortune?

If you’ve been following this series, you’ll be aware that I usually include a guided meditation for you to follow, but I don’t feel that’s appropriate with this card. To me, wheels are for flowing and not structure, so I think it’s a better idea to grab a pen and paper and follow your thoughts.

Place the card in front of you and see what parts of the image capture your attention. It doesn’t really matter which tarot deck you’re using.

Here are some questions you can use to kick off your journaling.

What attracts my attention in this image?
What do I dislike in this image? Why?
What part of this image makes me feel hopeful?
What part of this image makes me feel sad?
What does the phrase “wheel of fortune” mean for me?

These are just some points to get you started, make sure you allow your thoughts, and your pen, to wander off wherever they want to go.

Another tip: sleep with the Wheel of Fortune under your pillow when you need a reminder that things will get better.

This is only THIS moment.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

Taroting Depression with the Hermit

June 6, 2022

The Hermit speaks to us of solitude, of going inwards to find the answers we need. Of spending time alone with the self as a way to hear what our soul is trying to tell us.
The Hermit carries a lamp in front of them: they know that all things will be made clear after some time of isolation and reflection. There is nothing to fear in the dark. Unless we’re scared of the truth.

And who isn’t?

When we have Depression we’re used to the dark, but that doesn’t mean we like it. And when we’re stuck there, we certainly don’t learn from it. It’s only when we begin to think clearly again that we can understand the lessons the dark has for us.
When we’re stuck in the dark, there are no lessons there, only pain.
That’s one of the reasons why the Hermit has so much to teach us. He’s able to see through the dark. He’s not frightened because he understands that the dark is as necessary as the light. But, true dark, the dark of Depression. The dark of the demon.
When you go into the dark voluntarily, you get to keep your own power. You take it with you as you journey. You can see your power as your lamp, it will light your way and keep you safe.
Before you do this particular meditation, make sure that you’re feeling as well as possible. This one may be triggering for some people as the idea of deliberately going dark is scary. But, remember this is not Depression darkness, this is the darkness that holds secrets that can change your life.

Or are you happy to stay where you are?

Make sure you’re sitting or lying down comfortably.
Sit, or lie down comfortably and take a few moments to wriggle about and settle yourself.
Begin with some box breathing. Make sure that when you breathe in, it’s the deepest breath you can manage.
Now, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, hold for a count of four.
Once more, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.
One more time, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.
Continue to breathe deeply as you imagine yourself standing at the mouth of a large cave. It’s dark inside but you’re holding a lit lamp and you know that there’s nothing to be frightened of inside.
As you take a few steps in, you can see that the cave is dark but wide, and you have plenty of room to walk freely. You relax your mind, and slow your breathing as you take a few more steps inside the cave.
As you continue to walk further inside the cave, you notice that you can hear a pleasant humming, almost as if someone is calling you inwards.
You take another few steps and your breathing deepens again. You are calm, relaxed, and curious about who, or what, is producing the humming.
As you take another few steps, you come to a small rockpool. You stop to dip your toes in it and you realize that there’s a figure sitting on the other side of the pool.
The Hermit smiles at you and gestures for you to sit down. They have a secret to reveal to you.
The Hermit begins to speak and he tells you a secret that is meant only for you. It’s your truth. And it’s something that will help you grow and manage one of the major issues you have going on in your life right now.
Once you’ve heard your secret, you thank the Hermit and rise to begin walking back to the mouth of the cave.
As you leave, the Hermit begins to hum again and as you take a few more steps, the humming begins to get quieter.
Another few steps and you can see the light of day way off in the distance. You continue walking towards it.
Another few steps and you’re at the mouth of the cave. You feel relaxed, calm, and eager to begin using the new knowledge you were given by the Hermit.
Wiggle your fingers and toes and when you’re ready, open your eyes.

Spend the next few minutes recording your secret in your journal. Whatever the Hermit told you is what you should keep in mind for the next few days or even weeks. Somewhere in the message is the way for you to manage a current situation.
And don’t forget that you can always visit the Hermit and learn new secrets. Visit him when you feel the need for self-reflection and the answer to a problem, particularly an emotional one.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

Taroting Depression with the Justice Card

May 30, 2022

Our next card in this journey through the tarot is Justice. Unsurprisingly, the Justice card is about fairness. It’s the promise that a fair decision will be made in legal proceedings, and that the decision won’t be swayed by such things as pretty words or pretty images.

When we look closer at the Justice card we can see he has a sword in one hand and is holding scales in the other. She, and perhaps only she, has the power to ensure that those scales are always balanced and that all parties are treated fairly.

Depression isn’t fair. We did not do anything to deserve it and we are not being punished.

When we live with the Depression demon we can easily become entrenched in the unfairness of it all. That’s what the demon wants us to do. It wants us to focus on how unfair it all is so that we can’t see, and can’t find the energy to look for, a way out.

We can’t allow that to happen. We can’t allow the demon to take control.

Justice reminds us that we can’t control other people’s actions but we can ensure that we treat others with fairness. What we often need reminding of, is that we should treat ourselves with fairness.

We often expect too much from ourselves, are too hard on ourselves, and if we have depression, we get really good at blaming ourselves.

Spending some time with the Justice card can help us understand that we need to be fair to ourselves as well as others.

Journeying with the Justice Card.

Sit or lie down comfortably, and take 3 deep breaths in.

Continue to breathe deeply and slowly as you imagine that you’re lying on your back on a beautiful, sandy beach, with your feet on the edge of the water. Your arms and hands are lying flat by your sides and your eyes are closed.

Take a breath in as the water gently flows over your toes and covers your heels. As you breathe out, the water flows gently back into the sea.

Breathe in again, as the water flows gently up your shins and covers your knees. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Breathe in again, and the water flows gently up to the top of your thighs. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Breathe in again, and the water gently flows up past your pelvis to your belly button and covers your hands and arms to your elbows. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Breathe in again, and the water gently flows up to your chest and upper arms. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Breathe in again, and the water gently flows up over your shoulders and neck and reaches your chin. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Breathe in again, and the water comes up past your mouth, nose, eyes and covers the top of your head. As you breathe out the water gently rolls back into the sea.

Spend a few moments here, enjoying the feeling of being fully relaxed.

As you lie there, you become aware that you have something in each of your hands.

Your left hand feels heavier than your right so you look at it first.

What’s in your left hand?

What’s in your right hand?

Are you able to hold your hands in a way that means both objects seem to weigh the same?

The object in your left hand holds your depression and the object in your right hand holds your joy.

Play with these weights for a while, move them up and down, get a feel for how they naturally weigh.

Now. Move your Depression up and your joy down until your joy lays gently on the sand. Your joy is grounded.

Look at your left hand, gently blow the object into the air until you see it catch flight, move through the clouds, and disappear.

Spend some time quietly sitting with your joy in both hands. What message does the object have for you? Who are you now that you have experienced joy?

When you’re ready, place your joy in your pocket and know that you carry it within you.

Take 3 deep breaths and come back into your body.

Wriggle your toes, your fingers, roll your neck, and when you’re ready open your eyes.

Write down your experiences in your journal.

You are the boss, not your Depression

Although it often feels like Depression has the upper hand, that only occurs when we’re unwell. And when we’re unwell, we need to rest and heal.

When we are well, and there’s no denying that sometimes our well periods can be very small, we’re able to make choices and that’s when we work with the Tarot to help strengthen the chances of us making good choices.

Once you’ve completed the above exercise, pop the Justice card under your pillow and sleep with it for a few nights. It’s there to remind you to be fair and just with yourself.

Taroting Depression with the Chariot

May 23, 2022

The Chariot is all about movement. It’s about clearing the path in front of you and taking the direct route to where you want to go. The decision has been made, you know what you’re doing, now get it done.

The demon Depression is really good at taking away our ability to make decisions and pursue our dreams. It wants to keep us buried under the fog and incapable of movement.

Fuck that.

The Chariot can help us to find our motivation again, but it’s not given as a gift. We still have to put our own effort into it. Fortunately, the Chariot can also help with that.

Journeying with the Chariot

The imagery on this card is usually one of a chariot with a rider standing tall and driving the charge towards his goal. However, the deck I use has an Eagle rather than the traditional chariot. Feel free to adapt this meditation to fit with your card if you choose.

Sit, or lie down comfortably and take a few moments to wriggle about and settle yourself.

Begin with some box breathing. Make sure that when you breathe in, it’s the deepest breath you can manage.

Now, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, hold for a count of four.

Once more, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

One more time, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

Continue to breathe deeply as you picture yourself standing in the middle of a dense forest. You are warm and safe here. You can hear all the sounds of the forest and it soothes your mind and soul.

You notice a path towards your right and you head towards it. As you walk through the trees you feel yourself beginning to relax even more.

Your steps are sure and even as you continue down the path through the trees. Here and there, you stop to check out a tree, a leaf, a forest creature.

You take a few more steps and find yourself in a small clearing within the forest.There’s a tree stump in front of you and a huge Eagle is perched on top of it.

The Eagle nods in greeting and you know that he is offering to take you on a journey, so you nod back in agreement. The Eagle flies towards you and you feel his talons gently land on your shoulders and begin to lift you up.

Where does the eagle take you? Do you land somewhere, or continue to fly? Does the Eagle talk to you as you fly? Do you talk to him?

Spend as much time as you need to, flying with the eagle.

When you’re ready, the Eagle returns you to the clearing in the forest. You gently land on the ground and he returns to his tree stump.

You thank the Eagle for its help and turn, and walk back through the path you came down.

Continue walking the path until you reach the middle, where you first began.

Spend a few minutes coming back into your body, give your toes and fingers a wiggle and then come fully back into the room.

Spend some time journaling about your journey with the Chariot. Wherever the Eagle took you, will have a clue to how you can regain our motivation and purpose, in order to move forward with your life.

If you have any problems interpreting your journey, please send me an email to drusilla@depressionmuse.com and I’ll help you figure it out.

Taroting Depression with The Lovers

May 16, 2022

The Lovers speak to us of partnerships, relationships and balance. It brings the promise of romantic relationships and successful duos. It’s the card of attraction.

Depression is not experienced alone, even though it feels like it. Our loved ones go through their own special time of hell, just as we do. And although we can feel guilt for what we feel we’re doing to our families and friends, we don’t know their experience any more than they know ours.

Often, we’ll isolate ourselves from our loved ones, either in fear of being rejected, or simply not having enough energy to interact with others. Sometimes this is absolutely necessary for our own healing and to be able to maintain relationships long-term.

But, we humans are not meant to be solo creatures, and nowadays even if you don’t like to socialize you can still interact with people online. This is often a more manageable approach for people with anxiety. Yes, it does carry the risk of trolls and negative interactions but it can also be a lifesaver for some.

I’m particularly fond of the Lovers in the above depiction as I believe it reminds us that pairings, and other relationships, can be made of many different molds.

There are some people who simply enjoy their own company, and there is nothing wrong with that. But when you’re deliberately avoiding people because the demon Depression has hold of you, there’s a lot you’re missing out on.

Depression has already robbed you of so much.

Taking a journey with The Lovers can remind you of the joy that can be found in relationships.

And yes, that includes relationships with pets.

Sit, or lie down comfortably and take a few moments to wriggle about and settle yourself.

Begin with some box breathing. Make sure that when you breathe in, it’s the deepest breath you can manage.

Now, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, hold for a count of four.

Once more, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

One more time, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

Continue to breathe deeply as you imagine yourself standing at the bottom of a huge marble staircase. You’re dressed to attend a ball and you feel as fabulous as you look.

You start to climb the stairs, slowly and carefully, and with each step you breathe just a little bit slower and you relax just a little bit deeper. Although you’re excited about attending the ball, you want to be as calm as you possibly can.

As you take a few more steps you can see the Lovers standing at the top of the stairs, waiting to welcome you. You continue to climb towards them, feeling just a little more relaxed.

A few more steps and you reach the top where the Lovers open their arms to envelop you in a huge hug. Stay with this embrace for as long as you need to, to feel completely relaxed and calm.

After a few moments, the Lovers lead you into a beautiful reception hall. There’s red carpet, velvet drapes and gorgeous flowers in gold and silver vases. You can see a row of people, lined up to your left, waiting to greet you.

You have relationships with each and every one of these people. Not all of these people are human, there are also spirits and animals there, and you know them all.

You leave the Lovers where they are and greet each person, spirit, or animal in the line by turn. Each one has something to say to you. When they give you their message, you thank them, and then move down the line. (You can stop to write down each message as you go, or wait until you finish).

Once you reach the end of the line, you discover the Lovers are there waiting for you. They each take your arm and walk you to the top of the marble stairs, You thank them both for escorting you and looking out for you and you begin to descend the stairs on your own.

After the first few steps, you begin to come back to yourself.

After another few steps, you start to move your fingers and toes, and wriggle slightly on your seat.

Continue descending and once you reach the bottom of the stairs, you come fully back into the room, feeling grateful, happy, and alive.

You can return to this meditation any time you choose and it’s a good one to do when you’re feeling lonely. A word of warning though, if you find the demon is creeping in and the messages you’re getting are negative, then your head’s not really in the space to do this, for now. So, make sure that you are well enough to go through this journey with the lovers.

As always, if you have any confusion or need anything clarified about your messages, please feel free to message me.Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

Taroting Depression with the Hierophant

May 9, 2022

As much as I love all the cards in the tarot, I’m always excited when I see the hierophant turn up in my personal readings.

The Hierophant is the spiritual teacher of the deck. They hold the keys to all the secrets and mysticism that the rest of the cards contain.

When you have Depression, spirituality can be a tricky thing. In my opinion, the stereotypical idea of the religious fanatic has contributed at least some of the stigma and discrimination that surrounds mental illness.

There’s no doubt that for some people, a sudden interest or increase in interest in spiritual matters is a symptom of them becoming unwell. For others, it can be a source of huge comfort.

If you’re reading this blog, I’m going to assume the latter. Spirituality, whether or not it includes an organized religion, can often be the one place where we feel completely accepted and safe.

For me, my daily spiritual practice is essential to my wellbeing. It reminds me that this life I’m living is not all there is. And it’s not all I am. It reminds me that I’m part of something bigger, and that I’m going to be okay. No matter what happens.

My spirituality involves the practice of meditation, which is essential for keeping my emotions from running all over the place. A few minutes a day is all I need and I usually include visualization as I struggle to keep my brain perfectly still.

Journey with the Hierophant

A journey with the Hierophant can open you up to new mystical information and ideas. Or it can reconnect you when your practice is feeling a bit stale.

Sit, or lie down comfortably and take a few moments to wriggle about and settle yourself.

Begin with some box breathing. Make sure that when you breathe in, it’s the deepest breath you can manage.

Now, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, hold for a count of four.

Once more, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

One more time, breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, release for a count of four, and hold for a count of four.

Continue to breathe deeply and imagine yourself standing at the edge of a dense forest. You can smell the leaves on the trees and feel the sun on your back. As you take a few steps in, you stop for a moment to listen to the sounds of the forest.

After a few moments, you take another few steps and notice that the sky is getting darker and although the temperature is cooling slightly, you’re still comfortable.

You continue walking in the forest until you come across an old tree standing on its own.

You sit down in front of the tree. Where the roots emerge from the ground, at the base of the tree, you can see patterns, figures, and scratches. What story are they telling you?

Spend a few moments here and once you feel you’ve uncovered all of the story the tree has to tell, stand up and reach into your pocket. Whatever is in there, is your gift for the tree. Gently place it within its branches.

Slowly walk back through the forest, the way you came, until you reach the edge again.

Take 3 deep breaths.

Wiggle your toes and fingers and come back to yourself.

Spend some time writing in your journal until you have a full understanding of what the tree was telling you. Then decide how you can take this lesson further.

Remember that you can journey with the Hierophant anytime you choose.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

The Nephilim Rising™

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