Sacred Sex: BDSM

Bruno Dayan

Image: Bruno Dayan

“It’s hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That’s part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can’t refuse anything and can’t even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”

Cherise Sinclair


I am going to venture into new territory here, and I hope that I do this piece justice, and represent the community in a positive way.

My intentions are to evoke thought, and bring about discussion regarding a very taboo topic; BDSM.

At this point you are probably wondering why I have taken on this topic, why I have strayed off my usual Occult, Magick, Awakening topics to write about Kink?

All I can say is that it’s passed time for someone to take this head on from a Spiritual aspect, and bring forth a new way of thinking. I am not necessarily saying I am that person(s), but I hope to be one of them.

It seems that in the last 3 (now 6) years since the release of E.L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” book and movie series that everyone has an opinion about without really any facts.

I want to clear things up because besides the fact that I am part of this community, people believe that this book series is an accurate portrayal of what it is to be in a consenting Dom/sub relationship.

Also, because in recent months my fellow enlightened community seems to think that sex with a bit of Kink is no longer Sacred, it is no longer spiritual.

The dynamic portrayed in Fifty Shades of Grey is an abusive, possessive “relationship” and that is the furthest thing from what BDSM really is.

The truth, in my opinion, is that BDSM is the most Sacred form of sex you can have; above Tantra, above making love with passion and fire, above fucking.

How is it better? It is in found in the freedom of trusting your partner so deeply that you are putting your well-being, quite literally, in their hands and trusting them not to hurt you.

Once your ability to make present moment decisions for yourself has been taken away, your mind will venture into new territory, you do not have to worry about this position, or that whatever; the Dom controls it all for you.

Where is your mind going? What new feelings, mentally or physically, are you experiencing? Where? Why?

You will feel sensations you never thought you had before, your mind will be pushed to its absolute limit and beyond, you will find what your mind once perceived as painful is truly a release and in that release there is pleasure.

You will finally understand what it means to own your Will, to live your Will, to find pleasure in your Will.

The line between pain and pleasure is almost non-existent and once you go past a certain point in your mind, in your psyche you will suddenly feel the freedom, ecstasy and a natural high that cannot be compared to anything in this world.

Subspace is a real state of consciousness and it’s powerful as fuck.

Before I go further, let me define what BDSM is:

Bondage and Discipline

Dominance and Submission

Sadism and Masochism

These words describe a wide collection of activities that fall under the umbrella of BDSM – and cover a whole range of relationships between two or more people, from casual, or one off situations, to more permanent arrangements.

There is a common misconception that Women who engage in BDSM have low self-esteem or that we have been abused, are trying to fill a void in ourselves, or that we are actually being abused in the relationship; none of that is true, not in a healthy partnership at least.

Do some people wander into the world of kink because of sexual abuse and trying to fill a void? I’m sure, but it’s not the majority.

I mean, aren’t we all healing from something? Looking for some fix?

I digress.

Speaking as a sexual abuse survivor, holding the control while not having control was and is an experience that can’t be put into words. Truly. It can’t. Most of my healing from sexual trauma has come from BDSM. Life’s irony.

As someone who is both a Domme and sub, I found healing in both roles.

BDSM is demonized because folks just don’t understand what they view as such an extreme act, but that is only because they are not willing to let themselves go; they fear the pleasure, the pain, the excitement, the unknown, the release, the moment right before orgasm and your Dom tells you to stop.

They don’t know any of that, because they are scared.

Am I suggesting that everyone partake in this lifestyle? Absolutely not, but I do believe that society as a whole is oppressed sexually.

People are scared of sex, they think of it as an obligation in a relationship, or to have children. Why can’t it be to have fun or to heal, or both?

There are a million reasons why people have sex, and just as many reasons why people will not liberate themselves sexually.

A sexually liberated Woman is a whore, a slut, she is broken, she is damaged…….those are just a few stereotypes off the top of my head.

It is because of this that many Women stray away from having multiple partners, or from telling their partner what they want, what they like and don’t like, and it is also why so many Women do not reach orgasm from sex alone.

On the other hand we have Men, and if a man sleeps with numerous partners he is “THE MAN!” or “being a man” or he is given props by his peers. The patriarchy and their hypocrisy at its finest.

Equality, people, equality.

Sex is a Sacred act, you are literally sharing your life essence with another human being, and while one night stands, and random fucks are fun, they get old, they can potentially drain us, and we are left taking on the weight of our partner’s demons if we are not selective with our choices.

Sex is about pleasure, but it is also about connection, about intimacy, about primal and animalistic instincts; transcending above this physical plane because in that moment we can escape.

I want to say the most important lesson out of this whole piece: THE SUB HAS ALL THE CONTROL.

The Domme/Dom is merely playing a role to please the sub, thus pleasing Her/Him self.

In a healthy BDSM relationship there is first, and foremost consent. It’s abuse if there is no consent. Period.

You have to go over the rules with your partner, what is allowed, what is not allowed, what do you like, what you have tried, what you want to try etc. etc.

There is sometimes an actual written contract, and the relationship itself can be romantic, or strictly about the sexual aspect, which in reality is so much more than sex.

I am not trying to get people to subject themselves to this lifestyle if they are not comfortable. I am simply trying to arm people with information gained by lived experience, own their sexuality, own their pleasure, own their pain.

Trusting someone to the point that you are willing to be bound, punished and pleased, only to be taken care of before and after by those very same hands is why BDSM is so Sacred.

It is a true partnership built on trust, respect and communication.

Since when are those bad qualities to have in a sexual or romantic partnership?

Fight for Equality: A Luciferian’s Take on The Satanic Temple

Larkin

Image: Larkin, aka larkin-art, DeviantArt

“Consequently, if you believe God made Satan, you must realize that all Satan’s power comes from God and so that Satan is simply God’s child, and that we are God’s children also. There are no children of Satan, really.”

Anne Rice


My track record with the Satanist community is iffy, at best, so to find myself here writing about an issue that affects the entire Occult world, but specifically Satanists is kind of surreal for me. I want to take this time to say, I do not have ANYTHING against the Satanic community, they are my Brothers and Sisters of the Left Hand Path, however, it has been my personal experience with the majority I have encountered that they can be completely amazing, or complete douchebags–there is no in-between. I say this having some really close Satanist friends, whom I enjoy debating, and joking with all the time.

To be honest, there really is not much of a difference between Luciferianism and Satanism. One core Philosophy is almost a mirror of the other and both groups fall victim to the same reaction of the ignorant masses when asked about our belief systems; half the time I can’t even finish the word Luciferian before a gasp, eye roll, or prayer is started.

I guess it’s time to tell you the story.

It was 4 am, and after a horrid night of tossing, turning, and Astral traveling galore, my cat decided it was time that she be fed. My cat, Bean, and I have this love hate relationship, and at 4 am it is absolutely more hate than love.

After feeding her, and her brothers, I found my way back to bed and grabbed my phone, as any phone addict/fb admin does. After that I checked what was trending on Fb, this is a weird habit of mine; I follow the trending topics daily. I don’t watch the news, and I restrict what is put into my head from my environment, for me the trending section is a way to see what’s important, or at least what my peers think is important. I find myself often shaking my head at the popularity of one topic over another, how Hollywood seems to always take the cake, even when world disasters, and/or political events are occurring.

I could rant about that all day, so before I get too off track, let’s go back.

I check to see what was trending, and notice that The Satanic Temple is on the list, I click and there it was in all its beautiful glory:

‘Satanic Temple wishes to erect statue of Baphomet next to Ten Commandments on the Capitol grounds in Arkansas’

What the what?!

I read the article, and was filled with such joy that finally there is a group willing to go against the Christians (and win) for religious equality. I find it so amusing that Christians scream about “religious intolerance” every day, but the focus is always on Christians, this entire country is based around Christianity, even though it was never meant to be.

Fun fact: It was not until 1956 that the “under God” portion was added to the pledge of allegiance. Our ‘founding Fathers’ were Masons, sure, but they were very clear that this is not, and never was intended to be a Christian nation. Masonry may be based upon Christian text, but the original Masons were the definition of Occult (secret, hidden) and much knowledge can be found along the Masonry path. I have both Mason’s, and Eastern Star’s within my own family.

As I began to read the comments attached to the article, it was a bloody battle and the Satanists were losing. The thread itself was filled with prayers, and people saying that they would destroy the statue if it was put on state grounds. Can you imagine the outcry, and civil war that would break out if a Christian statue was destroyed, or even threatened to be destroyed?

What makes one statue more important than another? Why is one statue allowed, on Government property, mind you, but not the other? Why is it that when a Christian is offended it is to be taken seriously, but if I as a Luciferian am offended by religious text/symbolism/art on state/federal grounds, it is not taken as seriously? Am I less of an American? Do my family’s tax dollars matter less? Why is my voice silenced? Why do they fear me?

Religious equality does not just work when it is in favor of Christianity, in case anyone out there was wondering.

Satanists do not wish to convert you, or your children, the point being made is that there is a separation of church and state for a reason, but since that line wants to be blurred, or erased for the Christians, it has to be blurred, or erased for Satanists, and any other group who wishes to challenge it.

I say again, this is not a Christian nation.

I also saw more comments than I could count with people who think Satanism is Devil Worship.

Ok. Look, there is only so much stupid I can handle. You have the internet at your fucking fingertips (like what I did there?) and you still remain ignorant.

I want to make a few points: regardless of what the pictures of certain rituals, rites and especially the Black Mass look like, Satanism is not now, nor has it ever been “Devil Worship”. In fact, a majority of Satanists believe in Satan as a metaphor, and the story itself an allegory for life. There are theistic and atheistic Satanists, and those titles are pretty self-explanatory. They use the symbol of Baphomet (no matter how terrifying some may find it) because Baphomet represents equality, and duality (balance).

But, these people wouldn’t know that because they don’t care to look outside of their box, or shall we say their book. They refuse to live, and let live, always worried about another person and their belief system.

Believing in Satan, an energy or deity, does not take away from your God, any God, or lack of God; one belief does not negate another, one does not trump another. I may be anti-religion, but other people are entitled to believe how they want, as long as those beliefs are not pushed upon me, and my life dictated according to them; which is exactly what has happened since, well, forever.

We are all Americans, we are all free, and we are all equal–THAT is what the founding fathers wanted us to remember, wanted us to build this country on.

Instead our country was built on the backs of slaves and Indigenous People of North America (Native Americans), our soil soaked in blood, our money tainted, and our Government infiltrated with religion.

These Religious zealots want to scream about patriotism, and how the founding fathers would be “rolling in their graves at these statues of ‘the Devil’”.

They would be rolling in their graves for many reasons, and I can say with almost certainty that their first line of business would not be a statue of Baphomet.

Repeat after me: This is not a Christian nation.

I leave with you some quotes and some links, enjoy:

“If I could conceive that the general government might ever be so administered as to render the liberty of conscience insecure, I beg you will be persuaded, that no one would be more zealous than myself to establish effectual barriers against the horrors of spiritual tyranny, and every species of religious persecution.” -Founding Father George Washington, letter to the United Baptist Chamber of Virginia, May 1789

“Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by a difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought to be deprecated. I was in hopes that the enlightened and liberal policy, which has marked the present age, would at least have reconciled Christians of every denomination so far that we should never again see the religious disputes carried to such a pitch as to endanger the peace of society.” -Founding Father George Washington, letter to Edward Newenham, October 20, 1792

“We have abundant reason to rejoice that in this Land the light of truth and reason has triumphed over the power of bigotry and superstition… In this enlightened Age and in this Land of equal liberty it is our boast, that a man’s religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the Laws, nor deprive him of the right of attaining and holding the highest Offices that are known in the United States.” -Founding Father George Washington, letter to the members of the New Church in Baltimore, January 27, 1793

“The United States of America have exhibited, perhaps, the first example of governments erected on the simple principles of nature; and if men are now sufficiently enlightened to disabuse themselves of artifice, imposture, hypocrisy, and superstition, they will consider this event as an era in their history. Although the detail of the formation of the American governments is at present little known or regarded either in Europe or in America, it may hereafter become an object of curiosity. It will never be pretended that any persons employed in that service had interviews with the gods, or were in any degree under the influence of Heaven, more than those at work upon ships or houses, or laboring in merchandise or agriculture; it will forever be acknowledged that these governments were contrived merely by the use of reason and the senses.” -John Adams, “A Defence of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America” 1787-1788

“The Government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.” -1797 Treaty of Tripoli signed by Founding Father John Adams

“Thirteen governments [of the original states] thus founded on the natural authority of the people alone, without a pretence of miracle or mystery, and which are destined to spread over the northern part of that whole quarter of the globe, are a great point gained in favor of the rights of mankind.” -Founding Father John Adams, “A Defence of the Constitutions of Government of the United States of America” (1787-88)

Source, and to read more quotes:

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/07/04/35-founding-father-quotes-conservative-christians-will-hate/

The Satanic Temple Facebook page, they update daily and are posting about the Arkansas story regularly:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Satanic-Temple/220538341415523?fref=ts