The Nephilim Rising™

Lux in Tenebris Lucet

Posts tagged with Journey

Taroting the Demon Depression: The Fool

April 4, 2022

And so it begins…with the Fool. Any examination of the Tarot must begin with the Fool and ours is no exception.

Tarot card from the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham and Abigail Larsen: the Fool

The Fool’s journey is the human’s journey and it begins with excitement, naivete, and hope.

In other words, all the things that Depression robs us of first. 

The Fool is not allotted a number like the other characters in the tarot. The Fool is the spark, the idea, the beginning of the beginning, there is nothing or no-one before him. The fool has not been molded by life, joy or disappointment yet.

He is the very epitome of possibility.

Possibility

When you live with Depression it’s extremely difficult to see the possibilities in life. But, trust me, they’re still there.

Working with the Fool to manage Depression can be enlightening. It can reconnect us with all the possibilities in life and give us back that precious hope that seems to be the first thing to go when the demon gets hold of us.

So, how do we actually do this?

Meditation is the key. Now, before you click away in disgust, yes, I’m well aware that meditation is extremely difficult when you’re Depressed. Your brain is far too busy giving you negative thoughts, derogatory self-talk, and fixating on things that simply aren’t true.

However, meditating with the tarot is not a matter of trying to get your brain to stop. Rather, it’s a matter of allowing your brain to take you on a journey.

Silhouette of a woman sitting in front of the moon

And the Fool is always up for a journey.

Here’s the meditation:

  • Sit in a comfy chair, with your feet firmly on the ground.
  • Take a deep breath: in and out. Take another, and another.
  • Picture yourself dressed as the Fool (It doesn’t matter which deck you’re using). 
  • How does your clothing feel against your skin?
  • What does the ground feel like under your feet? Is it grass? Concrete? Something else?
  • Is it a sunny day? Rainy? Are you warm? Cold?
  • Spend some time feeling what’s going on around you.
  • Once you’ve settled into yourself, start walking. Don’t try and force it, just let yourself be taken to wherever the Fool/You wants to take you. 
  • Keep walking until you see a big rock blocking your path. The rock has a box sitting on top of it. 
  • Open the box. What is it? What does it look like? What does it feel like? What color is it?
  • Once you’ve spent some time sitting with your gift (You’ll know how much time you’ll need), slowly come back to yourself sitting in your chair.
  • Wiggle your toes and your fingers about. Stretch. Wriggle about a bit in your chair.

Don’t worry if you’ve struggled through this. We often think that our visualizations must be A-grade cinema quality but they really don’t. The purpose of this journey is to get the information and if you can’t visualize the scene as well as you’d like to? Maybe you can hear it? Feel it? Sense it? What’s important here is that you find out what’s in the box.

Now that you’ve got your gift, your next mission is to grab your journal and tell the story of your journey. Describe the journey as you would explain it to the Fool.

Now, here’s the hard part…don’t worry, you can do this.

What is the purpose of the gift? What does it do for you? If it has a practical purpose, what parallel can you see with your Depression, or a symptom of your Depression? 

If you’re struggling to find the purpose in your gift, remember that you were the fool when you collected it. Pick up your tarot card and scrutinize it.

What parts of the card are jumping out at you? How does that relate to your gift? 

What is your message from the Fool?

Feel free to message me if you’re stuck and would like some clarification around your gift and its meaning. And don’t worry, you can come back to this exercise as many times as you want to. As humans, we are continually moving, nothing stays the same.

Not even Depression.

Tarot Deck used is the Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham and Abigail Larsen.

Fiona Tate, AKA the Depression Muse, is a Lilithian Witch, Writer, and Mental Health Mentor. She helps people with Depression use it as a superpower and turn it into a Creature of Fucking beauty. She’s on a mission to reduce the global suicide rate to zero. Follow this link to receive a free copy of her book Depression Sucks and join the waitlist to hear more about Black Orchid Alchemy: The alternative way to manage Depression.

Lessons in Magick: Witch, Remember Yourself!

February 16, 2022

This came from a deep place inside me. They are words I wish someone had spoken to me when I needed it. I bring them to you, to light your way and lessen your pain.

We have all done it. Stepped out of the current, the flow with the Other. We have tried to forget what makes us “US” and thought if we hide our particular truth, we’ll be safe; if we conform, we will become a part of a different whole that didn’t seek us out and that probably doesn’t really want us.

Then, we are lost and only when we hit the bottom of that well do we feel the desire to jump into the flow and pull ourselves back to remember who we were and who we are to become. Who the multiverse needs us to become.

I’ve done it myself. More than once and found a way to get back to myself. Slogging through the world’s density, to break into the Light. But it doesn’t make others comfortable and it isn’t always safe and sweet, but it is necessary. And in the end, restarts work. You haven’t really lost ground, only some time.

You’ve come a long way and you are not a beginner. The flick of the lighter is like the click of a key in a door to a room you have known and decorated for years. It’s your space and it is available to you at a moment’s notice. And all you need is a moment.



For years, you have made this path. Your breath has cleared the air, each step marks the way. The fire in your heart shines the light to guide your way. The incense fills the air, drawing to you the allies to guide you and dispelling all those that would trip you up. You write the map as you dream. Your words inspire the long-sleeping spirits, who also dream as we incarnated do, to awake.

But sometimes the world of our bodies makes us distracted and forget who we are. Lesser minds and souls get in your way because they want you small and wounded. Just getting by makes us even smaller.

But you are not small. You are as wide as the universe, bright as a star. And your light, your fire sparks the same in your own kind. And that fire is needed to drag the rest of the world out of its darkness. And that is needed more than ever.

If you need to, start small – a candle, one stick of incense, a few lines of chanting, or just once, speaking a true statement instead of dancing around the subject.

If only in the shower to yourself, at first. Be true to yourself. Speak it out loud. They will hear you. The ripple of the truth, of one person being honest with themselves, will eventually build to a tsunami that will wipe out the darkness of lies.